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Ignoring the Inner Narrative

David and his wife smiling by a sunny pier

Living with a brain injury is, by far, the most complicated thing I have ever done. There have been great joys, stunning victories, and, somehow against all odds, I’ve carved out this amazing life. Sometimes, I just need to remind myself that just because I think something, doesn’t mean that it’s true. 

The Inherent Uncertainty of Life After Brain Injury

David and his wife, wearing "Wild African Trek" vests, smile in front of a hippopotamus

If there’s one thing that is all but guaranteed after a brain injury, it’s uncertainty. So much of what we face as survivors is unique to the brain injury community. Brain injury is often — but not always — invisible to others and no two brain injuries are alike. The challenges I face are often different from those other survivors face. Often invisible, and always unpredictable, brain injury is a unique confluence of challenges.

Finding my Motivation, Holiday Edition

An Ugly Bedazzled Unicorn Holiday Sweater

But this is how I’ve been feeling about the holidays this year. I just don’t want to. There is so much going on at home, at work, and in the world, and it’s all weighing heavily on my mind. There is just too much!

Retaining Walls of the Heart

Norma smiling in front of her large retaining wall garden

Picture a retaining wall — a structural feature that allows you to support landscaping and help prevent erosion. My retaining wall comes with its own definition because it is an emotional retaining wall that I — consciously, subconsciously, or both — constructed after my sons Aaron and Steven’s car accident in 2012. 

What We Know and Don’t Know About Neurological Symptoms from Long COVID Like Brain Fog and Fatigue

Graphic text: What do you know about Covid-19?

“Long COVID is an umbrella term for the many post-acute consequences that result from COVID-19. The more we learn, the more we see that COVID-19 can affect nearly every organ in the body — from the heart and brain to the lungs, kidneys, skin, and gastrointestinal (GI) tract. We are still learning, but we need to listen to our patients, validate their experiences, and treat their symptoms.”

Paying It Forward

Norma and Steven smiling in front of Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital

Doing something kind for another person, no matter how big or small, not only positively impacts our own mental health but it can also bring joy to someone else. Even tiny actions go a long way. It feels good to do good. And, in my experience, good begets good.

Surviving My Flood of 2022

David and his wife smiling from a simulated space station

This is the month that I mark 12 years as a brain injury survivor. These “crash anniversaries” have pushed me to reflect; it’s hard not to look back at the “before and after” chapters of my life — sifting, shuffling, and reinterpreting the contents of each.

Healing Your Way

A beagle, named Rusty, with Aaron and Steven

I am a big believer in working through what I walk through. If I have learned anything from everything that has come from the day of the crash, it is that we are each responsible for how we respond — and heal from — what happens in our lives. We must learn to heal our way.

Staying in the Middle Lane

David and his wife smiling by a cabin in the woods

Almost 12 years ago my life changed forever as I joined the brain injury club, a club that no one ever expects — or wants — to be part of. And early on, the phrase “recovery is lifelong” completely and totally annoyed me. I had always been and remain a classic Type A personality. So, it comes as no surprise that I wanted no part of the “recovery is lifelong” model of living out the rest of my life. My plan was to get over my brain injury and move on. 

What People Should Know About Pregnancy-Loss and PTSD: One Woman’s Story About Losing Her Son at 16 Weeks and Almost Losing Her Own Life on the Same Day

Jack Jones’s urn and memorial with prints of his left foot and left hand

“During pregnancy, a mother celebrates the journey with family and friends — think baby names, baby showers, nurseries, tiny clothes … smiles from strangers and proud hands on an ever-expanding belly. The journey of being pregnant is both personal and public. So, what should be one of the most magical experiences shared with family, friends, and colleagues becomes one of private emotional and physical trauma in a closed room, an experience that is then often not acknowledged nor spoken about. The mother returns home still looking pregnant, her hormones still acting as if she is pregnant, but her arms and heart are empty.”

Suicide Is Not a Bad Word … Don’t Be Afraid to Talk About Suicidal Ideation

A yard sign reading "Your Life Matters" with a teal and purple Suicide Prevention ribbon

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. If you are military-connected then you know the 22-veterans-a-day average. You’ve seen the blue ribbons plastered everywhere on base/post. If you are a veteran or caregiver, you’ve seen similar posters at the VA. You’ve probably gone to an annual suicide prevention training or two. You know the signs, you know what to look for and what to do if you are worried about someone’s safety. But nothing can truly prepare you for when it happens.

Secondary PTSD (or Secondary Traumatic Stress) Should Not Be Underestimated

Young doctor looks stressed, holds her head leaning on a window in a hospital

Trauma can be a strange and often insidious beast. We can be traumatized by directly being impacted by an event like a violent physical attack, a rape, a natural disaster, or an experience in combat, but we can also be traumatized indirectly by caring for, hearing about, or witnessing the intense suffering of others. Both the direct and indirect impact of traumatic events can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Lost and Found

Steven crouches by Aaron's white memorial cross in the woods by two wooden deer sculptures

Over the last 10 years ago, since my sons, Aaron and Steven, were involved in a fatal car accident, in which Aaron did not survive and Steven  sustained a severe TBI, my life has resembled a lost-and-found bin, filled to the top, running over with more emotions than I could ever imagine sorting through. 

Why I Chose Not To Listen

David gives a thumbs up while tandem sky-diving with an instructor in a clear blue sky

Last month, Sarah and I took a trip to rural Maine for another first-time life experience. I was more excited than fearful when I jumped out of a plane at 14,000 feet and I can now add skydiver to my life résumé! Had I listened to the advice I received from doctors a decade earlier, the thought of jumping out of a plane would have seemed preposterous.