Harmony Through Caregiving: Finding the Balance and Blend

BrainLine Director Stacey Shade-Ware blogs about life as a veteran caregiver

My name is Stacey Shade-Ware, director of BrainLine, veteran caregiver, mother, daughter, and soprano with the American Military Spouses Choir (AMSC). My husband, Russ, proudly served in the United States Air Force for more than 25 years. In that time, he deployed more than he’d care to recount, receiving both physical and emotional wounds. We married in 2006, just in time for him to be sent overseas again. Retiring from the military triggered something in him and now we take life one day at a time.

Here I will share what works for us – and what doesn’t. What life is like for those who live with those who served. I will be honest about what keeps us going and what is overwhelming. I hope to share a little hope and reminder that you are not alone on your journey of healing. You may have heard, “It’s okay to not be okay.” Well that goes for caregivers as well.

I live in central Maryland with husband, three daughters (one adult, two preschoolers), my parents, three dogs, and a ten-foot boa constrictor named Bubbles. I am also an avid crafter and enjoy baking and sewing… when I can find the time. Learn more about Stacey >

The Latest from Stacey

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Medication

Two prescription pill bottles ride a downward slope of a rollercoaster

I enjoy watching my husband cry. That sounds so much worse than what I really mean. He’s been on various medications for his PTSD some of which cause emotional blunting — not being able to laugh or cry when appropriate.

March Is Brain Injury Awareness Month, But What Does That Mean?

If you are anything like me, when you or your loved one are first given a diagnosis, you research. There is so much information available online, it can be overwhelming or frustrating to know which is accurate, but I find research helpful in being able to report or advocate to doctors for both myself and my loved ones.

Self-Care Through Singing: Trauma, Resilience, and Representation in Musicals

Stacey Shade-Ware smiles at the camera with music stands, a microphone, and others in the background

I will admit when I first watched Encanto I was not terribly impressed, though the songs in Miranda’s signature style are quite catchy. I have two little girls, 3 and 5, and for those of you with children or grandchildren, you know that they must watch something like Encanto again and again and again. So, suffice it to say, I had the opportunity to really listen and pay attention to the story more than once.

New Year! New Me? Ha! Not with PTSD

Russ Ware (left) and Grandpa Russ Ware (right) in an antique car museum

In the past, Russ and I would celebrate across oceans and time zones, sometimes a half hour off. Yes, really. Afghanistan is nine-and-a-half hours ahead of the east coast, 10-and-a-half from Texas. It was wild trying to sync up schedules but I would never turn down a 3AM-my-time video chat. I am grateful we don’t have to contend with that any longer. But Russ being home hasn’t made the transition from 2021 to 2022 any easier.

Finding Community and Support in the Weirdest Places

Stacey Shade-Ware, in The Orville admiral cosplay, smiling at the camera

Relationships after a life-altering injury or diagnosis is, well, weird. Some people will stand by you no matter what. Hold on to them and let them know, often, how grateful you are that they are in your life. Others, even family—no, especially family—are not so loyal.