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If I am busy with every little thing, then I don’t have time to be sad, angry, feel hopeless or miss our lives and the son I knew before. I can diminish the magnitude of Taylor’s injury. It just won’t hurt as much, until it hurts like hell and can’t be ignored. So here is what I learned in my own version of spin class.
The list was written from my own experience as a combat veteran, and from what I’ve learned from veterans in my own work; this post is looking at things from the other side, based on my experiences as a mental health counselor.
There are times when it feels like things cannot get any more surreal, and then they do. Such is the unexpected life that unfolds for so many of us after brain injury.
What do readers in the brain injury world want? I can only guess that like me; they want it all: practical solutions, resources & references, a place to vent, a place to grieve, a place to interact with people who "get it."
What do you need? You, meaning you reading this blog. Because I promise that there is a way that a yoga practice can give you part of what you need—if not all of it. And I rarely make promises. Ask me. Test me. Try me.
During Steven’s many years of rehabilitation, when tanks ran empty, when exhaustion hit so hard that not even a double shot of espresso coupled with dark chocolate could revive me, silver linings showed up in the form of everyday people...
It will be true on the day I post this, and it will be true on the day that you read it. Another Veteran will have succumbed to the struggle and died by suicide. You may wonder, “what can I do?”
In one fell swoop, about as fell as swoops can get, all those hopes and dreams were off the table. Like most people who have suffered an accident like this, I eventually became depressed. I didn’t want to live half a life.
An accident happens. A brain injury rocks your world, and not in a good way. Fear rises like a tide, and soon enough, a tidal wave of anxiety. Janna offers a simple yoga practice to calm the "what ifs."
None of these challenges is blatant to the naked eye, but spend a bit of time with me, and you’ll learn soon enough that I’m not as normal as I look. Such is the nature of being invisibly disabled.
Our lives did not peak on a mountaintop in Afghanistan, or a jungle in Vietnam. They do if we think they do; if we see that as the ultimate achievement in our lives, and everything else is downhill and meaningless, then that’s what we will believe. That’s not the case.
Here comes another caregiver confession: sometimes I feel guilty. No matter how hard my day has been, no matter how much my body hurts, or how overwhelmed my head feels, I know it will never compare to the challenges my husband faces in navigating this complicated world as a TBI survivor.
How do you love the man who can’t express emotions the way he did when you first fell in love with him? How long do you continue to gaze into eyes that don’t see your heart? How many times do you say, “I love you” to someone who doesn’t respond?
Without yoga, I would have let go of hope or a future. Without yoga, I would have stayed sad and angry forever. Of all the tools in your box of living with brain injury, I want yoga to be one of them. I want to ask what it is you need?
For years, I measured my recovery by external gains. I looked for tasks that I could do better and longer. This was easily quantifiable data. I recently took some time to take stock of my growth over this past year. And what I saw surprised me. In fact, it was a completely unexpected revelation.
Working with any client can be challenging, but veterans can be especially difficult because of the warrior culture that they are used to. Here what veterans would like their mental health counselor to know before working with them.
When her husband was first home from the hospital, Abby Maslin realized she would have to teach him who he was before he was hurt -- from someone who liked to shower daily to reading the paper on Sunday mornings.
I cannot remember the first time I recognized grief for what it was following our son’s traumatic brain injury, but it has come to feel like a familiar acquaintance. These are some coping strategies that have helped me get through to the other side of my own grief.
I married an athlete, and this is part of who he is. I am trying to come to grips with my fear of repeating the past because I never want to go through anything like his TBI again. I’m not sure I could handle it. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?
First word, first step…you remember! Our plan included helping our sons through their “normal” firsts: high school, college, career, marriage, and children. Nowhere on our “normal” firsts list was finding ourselves sitting by our son’s hospital bed praying that he would live.
I can’t believe that I’m coming up on seven years out. As time continues to pass, my perspectives change, and my insight deepens. Sometimes I forget that those close to me still hurt. In the reflection of their inner pain, I see my injury for what it really is.