Reinventing Our Family

A blog by Abby Maslin about loving and learning after TBI

My name is Abby Maslin and the experience of caring for someone with a brain injury has taught me much about living fully and the power of gratitude. Being a caregiver is more than a full-time job. It’s a terrifying and exhilarating rollercoaster ride. By sharing our experiences honestly — both the good and the bad — caregivers can work to support each other in a more authentic and meaningful way.

No one asks to be impacted by brain injury, but with tenacity we are capable of so much more than we ever dreamed. There is a life beyond brain injury for those who are willing to stretch their mind. Learn more about Abby >

The Latest from Abby

There Are No Words

As I've learned during my husband's struggle with aphasia, words are important, but they are not our sole form of communication.

The Not-So-Good Days

The bad days suck. They suck more than we let on to most people, and they drain us emotionally for days afterward. Perhaps the best way to describe it is this...

Falling Away

In learning the stories of other TBI survivors and caregivers, I feel an immediate kinship, a sense of connectedness to those with a shared experience. But there is also a downside.

What I Know Now

Brain injury has been a great teacher in my life. This much I know to be true, but as my family prepares for our third Alive Day, I’ve begun to embark on my annual reflection of the specific lessons I’ve gathered throughout our experience with brain injury.

Revising the Expectations

In the three years since TC’s attack, I have learned a great deal, and chiefly, I have learned what any good writer knows to be true: in life, and in writing, it is essential to revise.

One Piece at a Time

Caregiving is a strange, beautiful, complex thing, but it's even more complicated when you're in the position of providing care for your partner or spouse.

Life Goes On

Gretchen Rubin, once wrote, “The days are long, but the years are short.” She was writing about parenting and not traumatic brain injury, but as I reflect on this poignant quote, I realize that as a caregiver, even those seemingly endless days have passed with such speed that I can hardly account for the last three years of my life.

The Kid(s) are All Right

Sometimes I wonder if I’m underestimating Jack’s awareness of the situation. Perhaps it’s not so much that he doesn’t notice, as he doesn’t let it bother him.

Who to Trust?

Of all the things I was warned about following TC’s brain injury diagnosis, no one suggested the idea of mistrust or suspicion. I didn’t anticipate waking up one day, twelve exhausting and painstaking months into his recovery, to find myself on trial, accused of harboring ulterior motives and secret plans...

The New Normal

We’ve arrived. It’s taken two and half years to get here, but I now cautiously declare that our family has reached that elusive, indeterminate state of being otherwise known as the “new normal.” What I didn’t expect, however, is that it would take so long for the new normal to finally take hold. Or, like I wrote last month, that it would be so fragile.

The Power of Our Words

Doctors and therapists are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I get it. Offer too much positivity and create false hope. Steer too negatively and crush people’s spirits. I don’t envy their position.

Transformations

"The great thing about transformation and change...is that it’s possible." BrainLine blogger, Abby Maslin sees continual transformation in her life and in her husband's.

The Loneliest Season

"The truth is I was so lonely I was worried I was going crazy. At night, I would close my eyes and silently speak to the husband who no longer existed," writes caregiver Abby Maslin.

Finding Purpose

Getting back on the job after a TBI is not a single step process. Abby Maslin shares how her husband T.C. found himself re-entering the workforce.

No Accident

"TC’s brain injury was avoidable, but so are the years and years we could potentially spend dwelling on its source," writes BrainLine blogger, Abby Maslin.

Bracing for the Setbacks

"Setbacks stink ... but I recognize that setbacks are a natural part of the TBI landscape," says BrainLine blogger Abby Maslin.

Acceptance and Attachment

BrainLine blogger Abby Maslin talks about how she is working on finally letting go of the "old," pre-injury TC with the help of a lot of yoga and self-reflection.

The Whole You

"Our family has been affected by brain injury," says Abby, "but how much are we willing to let this experience define who we are?"

Bridging the Disconnect

"There have been many moments in which post-TBI marriage has felt like an awkward first date," says Abby Maslin.

The Cause of it All

"The cause of it all can’t be changed, but it doesn’t have to destroy us either," says Abby Maslin whose husband sustained a severe TBI after being attacked.

Living (Happily) with Uncertainty

Caregiver Abby Maslin finds that focusing on the question “What is good about right now?” helps with the uncertainty of family life with a brain injury.