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Man, Woman, Caregiver

I Am You: How Caregiving Forces Us to Rethink Gender & Identity

It’s time for a broader, braver dialogue around gender and caregiving. It’s time to start talking about the transformation in identity that occurs when one spouse adopts the role of the other. It’s time to recognize that caregiving is a role that requires the revision of gender norms and the acceptance of power transfers.

Plain Vanilla

Nicole Bingaman Plain Vanilla

In August, we were presented with both high and low points. Our son, Taylor, was able to attempt to return back to work two days a week. Within fifteen days of returning to work, Taylor lost his brain injury service waiver. We had to hope nothing happened. And then…it did.

Seasons of Change

Seasons of Change Norma Myers

After the accident, we knew nothing would be the same, but we were not prepared for how strongly our emotions would swing during holidays and changes of seasons.

To Love What Is: A Marriage Transformed

Book Review: To Love What Is

I wish I had found Alix Kates Shulman’s memoir "To Love What Is: A Marriage Transformed" in the first month of my husband’s severe TBI, and yet I may not have absorbed it the way I did reading it fifteen years post-injury.

You are Not a Burden

You Are Not a Burden

Brain injury has changed you. It has broken you, rebuilt you, strengthened you, and humbled you. Sometimes it does all of this in the span of one day. I don’t know that I have the words to make this journey easier for you, but I can offer this...

Pity and Friendship after TBI

Pity and Friendship after TBI

We’ve all see that face. The well-meaning face of pity: the downturned brows and lips, the misty eyes. After Hugh’s TBI, I seldom met a friend or acquaintance who did not flash this expression at me every time we met. My daughters felt it, too. The funny thing is, we did not want pity. We’d had our fill of it in the ICU.

Is Caregiving a Burden?

Is Caregiving a Burden?

The truth is, all family members are both a source of joy and a burden at one time or another. That’s what family life is: the art of weaving webs of joy between strands of pain is what creates the intricate fabric of family love. It’s not the people in our care who burden us; it’s our anger over circumstances...

Firsts

Norma and Steven, 2017

First word, first step…you remember! Our plan included helping our sons through their “normal” firsts: high school, college, career, marriage, and children. Nowhere on our “normal” firsts list was finding ourselves sitting by our son’s hospital bed praying that he would live.