"Brain Injury Is ..." Brain Injury Defined By People Who Are Living With It

Brain injury is..... A bitch. Can't ever get away from it. Survivor 34 years.

i remember my days in the hospital some 35 years ago and i went to a park in OKC just to get fresh air and change of scenery.  I jogged after a Frisbee wrong thing to do.  i felt i was in a glass cage and i did not know how to get out.  Who was this new person inside my body and mind?  I was strong 17 year old that could do anything i wanted and communicating was a breeze  not any longer.  I facilitate a brain injury support group with my work and i used the illustration of brain injury is like a Rubik's cube the colors represent ones ability to be whole and the jumbled colors are a survivors current ability to deal with a ever changing world.  Praise God when two of the same colors align.

I was blown up by a truck tire in 1976 i have gone down hill ever since i was married in 1985 i was divorced in 2009 because my wife could not deal with my brain injury i am all alone i feel like no one cares i struggle to survive i can not remember things i have good moods & bad moods i am angry & don't no why I say things i dont mean & hurt others i dont mean to it just happens there are times i know what want i want to say & but i cant get the words out. this life is hell on earth. Desmond

Memories are shadows observed from afar.

A lifelong commitment of love, caring, support and patience for the loved child who was in a deep, dark coma for so long. Upon wakening, this child is not the same one who was in an accident, who was away for so long in a place that we will never understand. It is a lifelong commitment to God for returning this child to me regardless of the  changes that occured during this illness. A lifetime of understanding and nuturing. Guidance,  grief, acceptance and denial. Happiness, anger.  Wonder and hope.  He is with me and for that I thank God. He was my little boy, and now he is my wonderful young man.

I feel like I'm never going to be the same. I look in the mirror and I see me but, it's not me. I don't think the same. I don't feel the same. It is so hard just to get out of bed everyday. I use to love being around people and family. Now I cry when I'm in a crowd of people that are my family. But I feel like i don't  know them anymore. It's a sad and scary place. I would give anything to have my life back. I guess I need to start excepting that this is my new life. The stories i have been reading don't give me much hope that I will be returning to a life that I once knew.  PJM

Like my brain/mind is broken, placed in a wheelchair, no room to maneuver in my head, yet with no arms and legs to move it around to figure it out...and no one behind to help push.

Traumatic Brain Injury is the hardest struggle one can ever have! It puts us in a fight with ourselves, a fight that cannot be won!

Like trying to do everything knee deep in mud

Mine causes brain fog and memory loss. I get confused when too much is given me at a time. Sensory overload.

Living in a fog with a buzz. So lonely as people cant accept you are someone else. Standing on the sidelines of life wanting to be included but at the same time afraid of the crowds. Days the depression is so black and heavy that breathing is a chore.

Like playing golf... alone...with every shot going towards the sun and playing with a grass colored ball... It will be a tough and VERY long round with lots of people watching, waiting and annoyed at your slow pace!!!

it's like trying to climb Mount Everest with ice skates on WTF? How about when you feel like you should put yourself in a time out because of the ignorant comments or come back that you just said not purposely to people in your life?...these uncontrolabel moments are crazy!

Life is changed forever. A true test of character and determination to live life in slow motion. Feeling isolated from others, but getting to know myself and God better. It can be depressing at first, then you realize how glad you are to be alive and decide to live and enjoy the life you have, now. I'm still the same person, just slower. I can't take anything for granted. I have to work for my health and quality of life to be restored as much as possible. Walking and dancing make me feel alive. Eating healthy food and resting helps me stay calm and restores me from the stresses of each day. I know how to encourage others who are suffering. Life is still beautiful.

.....like mashed potatoes. 
.....like being in a constant fog.
.....frustrating; embarrassing; fatiguing...
.....did i already do that?
.....what was i going to do???
.....you mean, we went down this road/visited this place already?
.....what's your name again?
.....it's my turn to make dinner.....again????? (a week later)
.....trying to remember something you KNOW is in your head but have no way of pulling it out because you can't find it........
.....wanting all the noise to stop!!!!!
.....wanting the world to stop spinning....
.....wanting to sleep, just to sleep.....
.....wanting it to be the day BEFORE the accident, when life was "normal".....
.....working through your breaks/into your lunchtime/after hours because you were too slow during the day
.....having conversations with others who think that you're understanding but in your head it's really like the voice on the other end of the phone in a Charlie Brown cartoon

Like the mirror from Harry Potter, you see things in the reflection of perfection. Then you look down at yourself and realize that it will never happen for a multitude of reasons.

Somewhat like a tree. It begins with 1-leaf and then adds many more. One can look at this a negative or a new beginning. I see it as a new beginning with all that is composed of it.

Like trying to climb a staircase but just as you reach a new level the staircase collapses.  Constant dissappointment as you try to achieve things but end up with extreme brain fatigue for days, sometimes weeks, watching everyone around me out enjoying holidays and doing things in their busy lives like i used to do but knowing that I'll most likely never be able to do those things that most people take for granted, again.  Its lonely. Lots of grief but also some amazing learning, Being good at Living in the NOW, Compassion for others, Knowing that Love is what lifes all about.

 I did everything backwards from talking to brushing my hair had to relearn how to function again and did with the help of my MOM and DAD and both of my daughters. I also still have a hard time remembering things from the past. People, places, incidents, sometimes it is a blessing other times it is a hardship.

I have lost my job.I yell at people and frighten them and myself. I am ashamed of myself and don't leave the house much anymore.I have pain and think about it too much.I don't sleep without some dream or headache waking me up.I think about the same stuff over and over.I talk about the stuff over and over, An example of some of the things are people talking about me small things like did i raise the flag on the mail box.My inter voice talks out loud and i embarrass people. I am a outsider and the scary black sheep of the family.

Sitting and trying to fight back the pain from the headaches and trying to remember what my wife asked me to do for the day. And trying not to loose my temper at those I love . TBI sucks big time but I've gotten used to the painful headaches that I've had for 9 years and only go to the E.R. when the pain stays at 10+ for over 3 days.

A new day every day all day long. Confusion like my brain needs to be turned on every minute of eveeyday but I have no one button or reset button. Oh the pain just trying to think hurts so much like a bad joke. Having a good loving and caring support system is so helpful since I cannot remember how to drive or take care of myself at age 36

To me it is knowing what I was, fighting to get it back, losing more of who I was, and then finally trying to forgot my past achievements and instead focus on who I can now become. It is extremely frustrating some days, and then other days I have small windows of time in which I see all the ways that I have been blessed through my injury. It's an emotional rollercoaster and I'm still waiting to see where it goes.

as if all the things on the desk get swept off, about every 10 minutes.... or another way to see it: its as if the 'computer's' hard drive overloads and shuts down for a while, like the old window 3.1 if more than one item tries to open at once....   thanks! it just means learning a new way to do just about everything...