"Brain Injury Is ..." Brain Injury Defined By People Who Are Living With It

Scaling a wall without suction.  You can see it, touch it, know what needs to be done but you just can't get it all together.  It's almost as if you're an unexplainable magician.  You start the trick with multiple objects and you concoct this awesome looking piece but neither you nor anyone else knows how you got to the finished product.

A LARGE PUZZLE where a number of those pieces are Broken, a few of the pieces are Disfigured and some of the pieces are Missing. I found the key (if possible) was to 'locate' all of the pieces, fix the damaged ones, adhere them together and then paint over all of them - to get some consistency. Everything has changed - but nothing has to remain where it is at .... God Willing.  The Environments in which we find ourselves is KEY.  Levels of recovery will vary, but pursue the best options available – if they can be figured out!.  Life has taken a drastic nosedive, but a Knowledgeable, Understanding and Supportive Environment will make life so much easier.  Survivors need to hang in there and move forward.

like losing yourself yet feeling like you can still be him/her if just ___. like trying to claw your way out of a deep ditch and always failing. Nothing's good enough anymore and my best doesn't meet other's standards and expectations so it leaves me feeling ashamed, frustrated, inadequate, and angry. The list goes on and on...

having thisTBI is like trying to see through frosted glass you can't tell what you see

I have tbi too and dealing with this problem is very devastating. I'm 27yrs old and I can't enjoy life, or understand why it happened to me, antisocial, can't be still or relax, my hair keeps falling out, my eyes are bad, I think about other stuff that I have no control over, and I put all of my trust in GOD. because when I was down, He picked me up

Stripped to the core. No identity ...Cut the cord. Restart

 It is what it is and there is no going back. Forward is the way to move and slow it will be and cumbersome it will be and repetitious it will be and realize, this isn't going to be easy...but think, life before TBI wasn't perfection, far from it...remember, perfection is imperfection...begin anew!!! Life has slowed down immeasurably...enjoy the new you...throw out the past memories...and realize you've been given a new life...from big to small...is the calibration that has descended to fulfill your destiny...you can change and be in tune with the semantics of life and love thyself or feel pity for thyself and what rotten luck has fallen upon thee...the former is the choice of a warrior, the latter is the choice of the disgruntled...who are YOU???

Art C.

My memory is less and it is very frustrating. Family and friends who want to understand and help which is great, do not really understand. Its confusing, huge amount of sadness and depression and anxiety. Headaches. The one thing I wish for is more information when you leave hospital on recovery and what to expect. I floundered around finding my own information which is very sad.

Like a prison w/ invisible walls, You lose everything. Family, friends, and yourself. because the past is taken and you are left to stand alone in the now, with no hope of a future. ATV accident August 16, 2009 lost all my memory from them back. Lost all my family due to disbelief . 

I thank God that my life was spared on the evening on 10/6. I was awake for days before they sedated me. I was not fully awake. I didn't really wake up fully until pockets of 3 weeks later. I was then moved to another Rehab hospital. I made dramatic improvements. I was a worn out professional when the accident took place. I was wearing thankfully a helmet. I broken my jaw and face. Slowly recovering. Moved to Extra Strength Tylenol 5 weeks. I am healing. Thank God for his intervention, healings, and regaining of ground. They said I would forget everything, but they were wrong. I am though slowly becoming myself. I am going through mood changes and low sugar bouts. Bones healed but still working on Scapula and range of motion. I am organizing myself. Cleaning up the pile up of paper, and getting back. Stress, rushing, and my ability to scratch my head and pat my stomach not back yet. I can see again and my eyes are stronger. So very grateful for this and for sweating. Sweat glands took a rest. So I am on the road to full recovery. I am smarter. I am a spiritual person, pray, read the Word, and know that we are never alone. I struggle with prejudice, ill-remarks, and lack of understanding of others. I need to get past this. They aren't perfect. Nor am I. Staying on the road to recovery. Testing for my brain power taking place next month. Totally intimidated, but know that I have to do this. I have multiple college degrees so you would think it would be easy for me, but it isn't. I will continue to pray, trust in my redeemer, and provision of healing. Stay strong. 

All of these wonderfully helpful and relieving  comments from people who live with TBI are comforting to me in that I now know why I have these "all over the place" feelings.  Forty eight years ago I was assaulted with a shovel handle that was broken over my head.  Back in 1966 when you went to the emergency room, they took an x-ray and if you didn't have a fractured skull, they sent you home.  Still in High School, I found I couldn't read anymore. Oh, I could read the words alright....but by the time I got to the fourth or fifth word it the sentence....I had already forgotten what the first  word was.  Sound familiar anyone?  My life has been tough.  My wife and children's life even tougher.  It eats at me.  Not until the NFL players started telling their stories of forgetfulness, rage, poor decision making, emotional  rollercoastering, continual depression, alcohol or drug use for relief, etc., did I finally make the connection.  I just knew there was something more going on than just being reckless in my behavior.  Although that's a great sign that you are in the loop.  Crying easily is another good one.  I could always cry at the tip of a hat!  I could cry from a tragic scenario to a 16 year old prodigy singing on American Idol.  I've always been kind of a mess upstairs.  More than a few broken toys in the attic! I could never figure out what it was. The bad feelings about myself from all of these years of this stuff is what really brings me to the bottom and ultimately to the brink. That's where the rage comes from.  Gives a whole new meaning to the word frustrated, am I right?  Suicide was always just a thought I would blow off because I probably leaned toward hope.  Hope that things would get better somehow change and everything would work out and be ok.  Besides, suicide was a thing that other people did, not me. Not until I was so painted in a corner that it made absolutely perfect sense to go that route and free the one's in my family the burden having me to deal with on a daily basis.  Thankfully the pills didn't work the way I planned but look what I did and how far it got.  How did it get like this...how did all of this happen.  I now know how and why it's the way it is.  It's the traumatic and or chronic brain injury that makes it what it is. Now the big question...Can anything be done to fix it?  It's always good to talk about it, I guess.  That seems to work, sometimes.  I really don't know the answer.  One thing I do know.  At least I do know now what it is.  I think we must all blaze our own trail to finding ways that works the best for us because we are all so unique with our symptoms from this.  It's very early in the game with recognition of all the effects from brain injury. I'm glad about the breakthrough with the NFL bringing to light the after effects from injury.  I'm hopeful the future generations of people to come with this infliction will benefit from the studies and science to make better the silent side effects from the trauma that we now, today, try to endure on a daily basis. You folks who are on this site because you are looking for answers, don't give up on yourself like I almost did.  Keep trying, keep hoping, do the leg work and try to continually find some help somewhere, anywhere.  If it doesn't work, try something else.  Just keep trying.  Who knows, we might get lucky and finally find some peace. We are all in this together as a small group of warriors. It gives me some kind of good feeling from not being alone in this, that gives me some kind of a power that I can finally be heard on how and why I feel the way I do. Good luck to you my comrades. My thoughts are with you. Share your valuable thoughts and feelings with the rest of us.  We can learn so much from each other about things we thought were only our misgivings. Jump in the boat and grab an oar.  We are all most certainly in this together.  Hang tough, smile when you sometimes don't even feel like it. Stick with the things that make you happy or give you peace. May the force be with you.  Rick, Jersey Shore.  P.S. It made me feel good to write this!  See, some things do work.

I ws in a car accident last year.  ONE of the things that hapened is that my head swelled up, giving me SEVERE headaches.  My forehead hurts, as well as the back of my head.  It feels like a band around my head.  A MRI was done, and an angio of my head and neck with and without dye.  I am told that I did not bleed; however, I still experience the same pressure. The headaches are relentless.This is an emotional rollercoster. My family does not understand. I have done some strange social things.  I'm not social. And I cry easily.

There is no need in writing things down to remember..because I forget to remember I wrote them down..it totally leaves my mind once its done :'(

I can only share with both victims and family members to be optimistic.  As TBI victims we are incredibly fragile but strong and resilient as well.  I suffered a severe TBI in August of 2012.  I tell others part of me died that day, but other parts of me flourished.  Family and survivors stay strong and stay determined.  Time helps victims like I but patience and understanding does as well!

A gift in disguise...I got a new fulfilling life, one that I embrace with love and acceptance.  It took me many years to see it this way.  

It,s harder than it looks, I,M on a Mountain right now, it,s a challenge, i,m going well, but its just the base of the Mountain, I climb higher,it gets more difficult, BUT I cannot get off this MOUNTAIN. ever...

like the whole world is comprised of window dressing (I think that's the right term, a real term - the old me would know). i see a store, a house, a drawer, a book and from the outside they appear perfectly normal; But when I open the door to the house or the store, there's nothing inside.  When I open a book, the pages are blank.  When I open a drawer, it's empty.  Everything serves as  a prop in the one woman play for which I never auditioned.

The past 27 plus months of my life have been about dealing with people who have amazing complexes, and they can only obtain parity by taking advantage of someone else.

like running backwards up a sand-dune. To carry out the most basic tasks requires SO much more effort & energy than pre-mTBI. As my Specialist states, 'there's nothing MILD about an mTBI...' Of course, I look the same on the outside as I did before the assault & pre-mTBI so everybody expects me to function as I did before.

A Nightmare! Almost 14 years since the car crash that I had survived, 7/15 on the Glasgow Comma Scale... lucky boy! I had a mental brake down 2 years ago and life has been hard, everyday is some kind of struggle. Stressed, memory problems, flashbacks, emotional, depression, anxiety, fear of life and no longer wanting to be here. Lost Mum 8 weeks ago so that is a hard time also...

more reason to develop resillience, persistence, fierce self confidence AND humility. because guess whats there if you don't build that boat for yourself? a world that doesn't understand you, might even tell you you're making it up, and expects you to accomplish X Y and Z because you look fine. TBI is being dropped in a pool and told to learn how to float, then to swim.
 

Its a marriage that I never agreed to nor did I ever want its the nagging spouse that makes your good days bad and your bad days worse and will constantly remind you... Baby I will always be here for you...

The writer Larry McMurtry summed it up best for me, "It's like death, only you get to live"

"If only I could turn back time.." thoughts everytime. Jack. Mongolia

 Only survivor. It's being surprised by the words I say sometimes...I'll use a "big" word and think, how did I come up with that? Do I even remember what that word means? I used to know it--pre TBI--but it's usually like a Chinese word to me now. Except it will pop out on my "good" cognition days...and now, post TBI, I can barely remember the word and wonder what overturned file cabinet in my brain just righted itself for a second...(Received my TBI,  when a 10 ton water truck pummeled into our vehicle 30 years ago).