"Brain Injury Is ..." Brain Injury Defined By People Who Are Living With It

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Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.

It is a living hell. Feels like there is a demon inside of me that controls everything. It takes away my memory, my happiness, relationships, and the ability to feel somewhat like a human being.

Like your old life is at the end of a long tunnel and no matter how much you try to reach it, the tunnel just keeps getting longer with each step forward.

My main issue that I realized is talking way to much..never staying on track..of course anger..my go to emotion..

After the brain injury, needing to write everything down because I'll forget has become a habit and maintaining friendships is also difficult. Ines

Lack of self control. Sometimes feels like I'm a reincarnation. At times feels like I'm being followed and harrassed by demons.

Brain injury is like walking through mud when you're not even moving and trying to turn the sound down with a remote with flat batteries in it.

Awesome description

Not been able to do all the things I took for granted.

My brain injury is 4 years old...
But that was the worst thing I ever had to deal with...
I was hit on the left side of my head,for many years....( because no one can see your bruises)
But each time the slapping got harder,and lasted longer untill it made me throw up..
But living with TBI is no walk in the park...
You lose interest in everything,
Your head hurts,makes me dizzy and full blown vertigo...
Preferably like to be left alone in a really dark room..
Dont want to talk to anyone, forget things that your doing,
Leaving water turned on,stove turned one.
Tripping over your own feet,rather not drive,hard of hearing and I can go on an on...
You need.to retrain your brain back,
And it's the hardest thing to do...
But I feel my good LORD HELPED ME THROUGH THIS....AN I try to stay as POSITIVE as ever...
I will probably never be the same,
But I did get another chance for life..

Like I’m speaking a different language in a foreign country.

Infuriating because people think it is something you just get over

Or like me, you’re accused of being
manipulative, lying, instead of just recovering from a brain injury! All by your “family”. Maddening.

Yup very, very sad but true. I was berated by family for not being the same person they were used to. Its horrendous

It's a tough road for sure. I can relate to all these posts. For over 30 years I've learned various coping mechanisms to get me through the day and keeping my spirits up by not focusing on the person I was, but setting goals to be the person I want to and can be w Limitations. I worked very hard and have too come to grips w reality that it will never be the same, but good in so many other ways. Be Strong folks. We have each other!!

Thank you!!!

want to change my name as i am not who i was.sucks when yu know yur gonna lose it on someone possibly before yur finished living.feels like a butterfly in a jar in my head trying to get out.sounds are getting increasingly painful to hear like sirens and trucks beeping backing up

It is like your brain is a frozen computer screen that can not be rebooted. Powerless with so much power behind not being able to be used. The brain fog and brain damage.

It's as if you are the walking dead haunting your loved ones. Some times they see a flicker of the part they knew but only for a brief moment.

Really good description. Its like they see that flicker but when it passes they get angry at me, as if I'm hiding the real me from them or something... smh

haunting your loved ones is a great analogy.the only people you are sure would listen and understand you actually go the other way cause they dont believe or accept that dozens of concussions has changed your thoughts and ambitions

Leaving the best ingredient out of the meal...

I was 23 years old when my accident happened April 2, 1996. I had left frontal lobe damage. I have right side weakness, short term memory issues, fatigue, some brain fog, and alot of physical pain. I met my husband after my accident. We've been together 21 years and married coming up 18 years. Have a 19 year old son together. Some days are great and others I feel so completely drained. I get told that I'm lazy alot. My biggest supporters where my parents. They have both passed away now. My husband trys but doesn't seem to really understand. He just sees that I have a little bit of a physical difficulty. Not anything underneath. I've been able to live on my own since 3 years after my accident. I'm not dependent on anyone to help me on day to day responsibility's. I do reminders on my phone and notes around the house. I just wish I could wake up from this fog.

Confusion...especially when I was never told about it or never heard the words Traumatic Brain Injury. I am currently waiting, impatiently if I’m honest, to see a specialist to confirm what has deeply impacted my quality of life and continues to on a daily basis as it progressively gets worse.

Yes absolutely agree! And me too, my TBI from bicycle accident was 1982 and nobody ever said brain injury to me or got me help afterward. I found about it by God leading me to see a book on the subj in a bookstore I was working in. I was diagnosed by a psychologist a few yrs ago whose brother is a neurologist and she recommended I see a neurologist. She said I have residual effects of TBI. My first appt with a Neuropsychologist will be this year, 2021! Don't give up and God bless you

To not know why people treat you bad, as if you are the culprit instead of the victim hurts to your core. But worse is when you learn what happened and can't get medical help because it's not NEW. It's new to you and you need help sooner, not ignored as if it will disappear.

progressively getting worse is the same for me.after all my research i have realized a brainscan will help my diagnosis however my doctor will not give it.after mentioning a brainscan my doctor asked me if i was smoking "synthetic marijuana"no sir i was completely k o d four times prior to grade 8.maybe thats why i rely on pot daily for 42years.i hate to say this but us head injury peeps are on our own somewhat,this gives me peace somewhat thinking that i need to fix this myself cause i tried extensively and we are absolutely misunderstood

A constant unending battle with self-identity. I had my head injury when I was 5 months old, too young to have remembered having a personality. I don't know if all the things that are wrong with me are due to the head injury, or if I'm just this way naturally.

My heart cries and prays for God to give you gentle acceptance (not giving up) and deep sense of appreciation for the person you are now, which could be your true self. What you can do, do. When you've done the best you can, know that you gave it your best and don't allow harsh critics to ridicule, condemn, bully or berate you. Inside of you may be an artist, writer, photographer, musician, singer, friend to the friendless, animal shelter volunteer, nursing home visitor. If we reach one person's soul and lift their burdens just enough for them to take a deep breath, press on, and hope for a brighter day, then we have performed a miracle in their lives. Kind words and small actions can have a profound effect on people, just when they need it most. Sending prayers..

Like having a heavy weight sitting on top of your head pushing down through your body all the way to you feet that no one else can see

Its like your file box got dumped out and someone shoved all the files back in out of order. The files are still there but good luck finding one when you need it

I feel like I have to grieve the loss of myself so I can accept the new version of me and it’s terrifying.

It is alright to grieve the changes. I am the wife of a TBI survivor and I also grieve the loss of the husband I had and accept and love the ‘new’ husband I have. At time I feel guilty that I feel frustrated or wish I had my ‘old’ husband back because I know how bad he could have been and should be only grateful at how well he is doing. I think we are all connected in this journey and life has so much to offer - even grief can be good to transform the new you. Best of luck with the new you. You probably are an improvement from the old you, however it is ok to grieve the old you.

Hello Dawn. My husband is 15 yrs post treatment injury, leaving him with TBI for all intents and purposes... I feel like I need to keep educating/ reminding myself of his limitations and personal struggles to keep strong and supportive in the face of the huge challenge and grief. Our lives have shrunk to just us with limited family interaction.. it's a life sentence..

Slower in everything ....may appear to others as perfectly normal but not....forgetful in all things... believing I’ve completed a task but haven’t... people not understanding that I have deficits

Reading these makes me sad because I know what they say. I'm so sorry for your loss and pain.

I had an infant tbi. Glasgow scale of 8. I'm 38 now. I have never been able to reach my goals and am alieniated. I had dirt in my wound that hads deformed my skull. Honestly they should have put me down because when you peal a rotten onion it makes you cry and it's just layers of rotten. And it's getting more rotten everyday. O boy thanks Mom.

Help me! This is happening to me and I feel the decline. My dogs and daughter are all going through this but no one will listen. I can barely react but my vital signs are fine. I wish this would killer now. My body
Is going through anxiety and terrified but I cannot react. I’m slipping into it by the minute. Toxic mulch, mold or lead poisoning. I have strong emotions but I can’t display them. Everyone says I’m fine. No one helps me.

After 19 years I've discovered there is no healing From this.. Only ADAPTING to the massive uncontrollable unforeseeable changes, and that's only if one's strong enough to do so.

After my bleed I became rude, verbally nasty, and would ask very personal questions to people, But the most devastating effect was the loss of memory. I forgot how to cook, how to play the organ. I became unable to deal with money effectively. I am emotionless, haven't cried since the bleed.

It’s like reaching out to something you can see, but realizing it’s a hologram. You can see it, but you can’t actually grasp it or communicate it to others. You know it, but you are unable to say it. The simplest words... “car” “pencil”... You can see it, but you can not find a way to vocalize it. You can no longer make words happen...

Feeling like I’m just outside the lines of everyone else. Notes, quotes, alarms and self-help scheduling. Feels like I Went from high-speed internet to prodigy dial-up. Whole sensory system got amped up. Now I can hear, taste, smell and feel things I couldn’t before. I’m not always finding this to be some kind of superpower. (Except when I could smell a gas leak at the end of my driveway when no one else could). Every single thing in my life seems like such a struggle to do. The phrase, “out of sight out of mind” is no longer funny to me. It’s real. And I have no idea how to explain this to people that see only the outside of me.

It’s so helpful others are experiencing this or have. I hope things have gotten easier for you. I’m just starting my journey of brain trauma and all kinds of crazy days. Give us strength!

out of sight out of mind,sometimes in sight but out of mind. difficulty putting things to perspection.

Sounds like me

It is really frustrating when people say "but you don't look disabled" .

I feel worthless, not accepted, emotional, very angry, agitated, no control in own life, tired, dazed, hurt, misunderstood, ugly, body won't turn off heat, non-balanced in walking, suicidal.

After being hit at a red light by a porta-potty truck at a very high rate speed, all I know is I am alive and hate to be on majority days. I don't like mirrors as I feel ugly due to no one understanding the way my brain feels like it's going to to explode. All I hear is "be or act normal" as these LV Drs would say to do! I even tried going back to work to "be normal" and started forgetting the names of people I have worked with nine-plus years,  forgetting procedures, or just not comprehending the new training material.

Nothing is normal about me anymore. Stuttering on days, wanting to drive off the freeway on days. I am scared of myself.

I wrote an extensive response to you earlier, I forgot to mention MANY things, of course, a typical part of my every day. I think the hardest part is not being able to come up with a word — a word that I should know very well. Also, not remembering parts of my life. And thirdly, falling or bumping into things and people due to my vision, and also having to use a walker so young. I was denied again yesterday for Disability, for the 1,000th time it feels like. I had multiple doctors document my inability to work. I also had two neuro-psych evaluations the recommended time apart. The second was supposed to have gotten better; however it didn't which I knew and had been telling them I was remembering less and less. That is when they ended up diagnosing me with the Moyamoya. Sorry for rambling

I know exactly how you feel, and I feel the VERY same way most of the time. I am sorry, I wish I could find a fix, either for us or for society. 

God bless you and here is to the hope that we can find enough each day to keep us on the positive side of things. (When I know most days are rough)

Something that helps me is prayers (from myself) and others so if you are a prayer I would greatly appreciate any prayers, and I will be praying for you and others with our same concerns. Another thing is an app on my phone called Lessons in Life Quotes. It has hundreds of inspiring quotes.

Here is a VERY brief background on my situation: I was an LPN for eight years and was able to go back and get my RN degree (Lifelong dream) It was HARD, I had four kids and drove 2 ½ hours one way 4-5 days a week for a year and a half. I received my Registered Nursing degree in 2010. (Next to my wedding, the birth of my kids and grandbabies -- It was the MOST amazing day of my life)

Then in 2014 (in 5 days it will be FIVE years) I had two strokes, and then a ruptured brain aneurysm which required a month in ICU on a ventilator. I had many setbacks: bacterial meningitis, vasospasms, hydrocephalus, double pneumonia. It also affected my hypothalamus which causes temperature irregulation. It could be 50 degrees Fahrenheit and I'll be sweating in a tank top and shorts. It is just another ANNOYING one of the million effects of this.

I know I have a lifetime ventriculoperitoneal shunt (VP Shunt). I have lost so much and now have been diagnosed with a rare condition called Moyamoya. My left carotid artery is 100% blocked so I have been told to watch for right-sided stroke. I was only 40 when this happened, and now 45. Most people don't survive. I do understand that.

Like you, some days I think "what is the benefit?"
That's enough negativity out of me today. Have a wonderful day and God bless.

In rehab I too could not look into the mirror in my bathroom. For the same reason. Thanx Dawn.

I decided today I needed to start some sort of therapy I had emergency brain surgery two years ago and went from a high functioning surgical RN to a retired angry, depressed person. I had never thought about what I would do in retirement, and now I have numbness and limited ability on my left. I also have right, left, and number confusion. My spouse is nonsupportive and says to me "welcome to old age." He also has no patience with my confusion and yells "WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" He also can't understand my inability to cope with loud music or radio noise. He blames me for doing it on purpose to piss him off. Sorry for the long complaint! I feel isolated and alone.