"Brain Injury Is ..." Brain Injury Defined By People Who Are Living With It

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Some days its like a nightmare you cant wake up from.

Like A misunderstood child living in an Adults body Somedays just wanting to curl up & Not have to talk or think, Feeling Mentally exhausted & Drained unable to speak up as no-one ever Truly understands they just Judge & Corner You to sadness - Leaving you suffering Inside as its all too much :( written by Marie M

I send you a hug in the Spirit from across the miles...

Constantly battling an invisible enemy, always feeling under attack but mostly I’m not in control of myself a maniac is

Now my brain is like a old pinball machine.
Only this one has 4 sets of flippers, 9 bumpers and 3 active balls constantly.

I have Tbi from an assault. A lot of people pretend they actually care about me and really don’t. It took a lot for me to forgive everyone who has hurt me mentally verbally physically and many different ways. It took a lot for me to bounce back. I stay away from toxic people and it seems my boundaries have been disrespected. I love me. I pray to God everyday that he keeps toxic people away from me. And just because I didn’t go through having surgery for having Tbi I went through a lot of hurtful things. People think it’s okay and funny to try to relate to me when they’re not me. I’m happy to be in a healthier relationship even though sometimes I feel like I’m just a burden to him. My self independency I don’t need anyone trying to manipulate me at all. Being a Survivor of Tbi is who I am. I don’t like if anyone pry in my life at all. I have migraines every now and then from me having Tbi. That hurts a lot. I don’t trust no psychiatrist or psychologist either because they caused me a lot of anguish. So, I do my best everyday after having had Tbi in 2013. People seem to believe that Tbi and Ptsd only comes from being in the military but that’s false. I felt like no one cared enough to even stop and think themselves how much I hurted. But, I’m very grateful I have someone now who loves me past my Tbi and trauma. I’m a happy owner of my chihuahua cincere who’s been a lot of support for me. I do my best not to give up on praying that my life will get better. So to all of us who has trauma and or Tbi we are loved.

Chihuahuas are life savers! I'm so glad you have your darling pup. Oh they make life & everything in it brighter & better. When in doubt, cuddle with your furry friend. Much love your way.

It took all of what I could find to smile about. Took my life without me.

My name is Nancy Burnet. I experienced a traumatic brain injury April 29, 2016, just 2 months and 3 weeks after having aortic valve surgery due to complications caused by breast cancer treatment dating back to 1880 and 1981. An 89-year-old man driving a rental car at twilight literally turned a corner and hit me in the head; this could only be possible because I had stepped off the curb and turned my body a little to the left as I bent over to look at grocery items in my cart. His view may have been obstructed somewhat by a small tree, a bench and trash cans at the bus stop next to where I was. The fact that I was on plavix (a blood thinner) would greatly complicate my recovery. The man did take me to the nearest hospital a mere two blocks away and waited there in his car. From there I was taken by ambulance to the University of Pennsylvania Trauma Center in Philadelphia. After the ambulance arrived, I had absolutely no memory of the next six days I was in the trauma center. I spent approximately one month in one rehab and another month in another. My most significant concern after all this is that my balance is greatly impaired and I'm prone to falling; I was also left with an incontinence issue. Having diabetes has also added to my difficulties in life--a disease extremely common to my mother's side of the family. I also take humira for plaque psoriasis, a disease prevalent on my father's side of the family. Another complication resulting from breast cancer treatment in 1980-81 is lymphedema. It usually manifests itself 2-5, at the most 10 after surgery and radiation has been administered. Fortunately, it took 28 and 1/2 years to develop, and considering it is a difficult condition to manage at least I had all those years I didn't have to deal with the condition. An atrophied muscle in my back near my shoulder area due to a nerve being severed during the surgery for a mastectomy has limited the use of my right arm. Getting back to the brain injury: My recovery was remarkable, considering the bleeding on the brain that occurred due to being required to take plavix after the aortic valve replacement; the bleeding on the brain necessitated an emergency craniotomy surgery when I was admitted to the University of Pennsylvnia Trauma Center. The piece of skull was frozen then replaced under my scalp in I surgery in August of 2016. So this is my story. At 74 going on 75 I am living independently in an apartment for seniors. Because of my balance issues and the broken up pavements and streets, as well as high curbs, I take a four-wheeled walker which has space for groceries and other purchases with me when I walk outside. I also walk a mile and a half in my hallway (63 lengths of the hallway). I'm working on increasing that the 2 miles. I need to focus more attention on balance exercises presently; it difficult to balance myself on one leg at a time for more than 4 second--the goal is to be able to do that for 10 seconds.

Ma'am. I'm a 36 year old man originally from Pittsburgh but now reside in Columbus ohio. I just wanted to say, you are a very remarkable, very strong woman. Your story gave me a little push I needed lately. If you have Facebook you can type Jonathan Weaver Columbus Ohio. My picture is me on a red motorcycle. I hope you make your 2 mile mark. After reading your story, I know you will.

You are a role model! May I get as far & find a world I can be part of.

Trying to reconfigure life while dealing with new feelings and thoughts I can no longer control

Having a injured brain feels like the lights are on but no one is home..i look in the mirror and see my reflection it must be me but i dont feel like i used to or recognise my self anymore ..im not the same inside as i mite stil on the outside... annette..s..

I could not agree with you more. Mine happened 3 years ago and I am still doing the same exact thing. Wondering what is going on.

It’s a new way of life. You are a new you, but you never realize until you think about it. Everything feels normal, and you feel like everything is how it should be. But then you look back. You remember. You remember how things used to be. You remember how you would never get mad, or how you would rarely be outspoken. Then you look at yourself and it’s like looking at a stranger. There is the you before the accident, and the you after. Two you’s, and they’re sometimes night and day. You miss the old you, and you wonder why. Why? It’s not like you switched bodies with someone. It’s not like most people would notice a crazy difference. But you do. You notice, and it eats at you. The differences and changes. All of it. The fact that you’ll never be the same. The fact that you’ll never be 100%. It eats at you and it’s depressing. But it’s also just one more hurdle. One more mountain for you to climb. One more struggle. One more fight. To make yourself better. To show not just everyone else, but yourself that it doesn’t matter. That the new you is not worse. That you can learn to live as a new you. To leave your mark. To show everyone you’re not someone to pity. To show them that that 5% doesn’t define you, YOU do.

I totally get this... I'm a TBI survivor of 22 years and still deal with this... I feel your pain... I wished I didn't have this from a severe car accident due to a boyfriend that did pot behind the wheel... it's hard to pick up the pieces and move on however we can do this. We will get there together.

Very well said!!! I'm not quite able to put it into words yet... A contstant struggle it definitely is... It's a whole "NEW" normal for sure... Its great to read from the optimisic point of view... I still am an optimist and I am very grateful that I am :) thank you for your time. If anyone knows of any online support groups, please let me know...It may always be a struggle, however, I do know... With persistence, I will learn new ways and recovery will continue and the "NEW" normal will be all that it is meant to be... For now, no worries and keep smiling :)

Everything is hard for my mind. Things I thought of automatically now take a lot of time.

Like my legs are made of clubs. You probably don’t even think about your legs when you’re walking. Mine are big and clumsy.

I was brain injured thirty five years ago. By now my definition is:

The constant presence of my former self as a shadow in the fog. It is just beyond my fingertips, and I miss me.

So very well said. My injury was only nine years ago. Like you, I miss me.

I love Alison's description. I posted it onnmy FB along with my own description fleshing it out based on my experience. Here is it.

"Read the quote then continue reading here. It is so true. Some places that "came down" or stayed up made sense. The weak structures crumbled while the strong ones held. But then I come to other places and I wonder why are you still here? Why didn't you come down in the quake? Or where did this or that go? It was so strong. The quake should not have caused that much damage.

It was not just the structures that were damaged but the infrastructure as well. Communications, economy, safety, government, etc were damaged. Some more than others.

Communication - not only is it difficult to communicate with other cities (people) but also to communicate within the city itself (myself). Needs to unmet, thoughts unfinished because communication lines are down.

Economy - resources are damaged and now limited. Some areas are better off and have more resources, others are struggling to survive. Sometimes large amounts of resources are poured into one area leaving other areas desperate. For me this is usually the resource of energy.

Safety - the area itself is now unsafe. Though the initial danger is gone, unstable structures, leaks, fire hazards and unknown damages pose risks. As I started recovery and continue to do so I found other issues that posed risks to myself such as impaired balance and deteriorated eyesight.

Government - the structures that were in place to maintain law and order are not only damaged but also strained as they deal with the crisis. Some will find this an opportunity to break rules and law. Others, with limited resources, may need to in order to survive. I found this true primarily in my mental and emotional health but also physical. Emotional- regulation can difficult. Sometimes I'm not sure why I'm having a panic attack or why I'm sad. Other times I know why I'm frustrated but I don't know what to do about it. Physically, my body may not be able to handle the stresses it is being put through and just shut itself down rather than find a more logical way of handling the situation.

There are other issues that fit better into other categories but this gives a general idea. I saw the quote, written by another TBI survivor, on a website I frequent and it described what I've been through so clearly that I had to share it. I also wanted to expand on it to share more of what I've experienced."

A continual blur with both brief and long interruptions of confusion, forgetting, and hoping that is never met with a never ending sense of visually blatant vulnerability to everything and everyone as if I'm a child that cant reach adulthood.

It is a living hell. Feels like there is a demon inside of me that controls everything. It takes away my memory, my happiness, relationships, and the ability to feel somewhat like a human being.

Like your old life is at the end of a long tunnel and no matter how much you try to reach it, the tunnel just keeps getting longer with each step forward.

My main issue that I realized is talking way to much..never staying on track..of course anger..my go to emotion..

After the brain injury, needing to write everything down because I'll forget has become a habit and maintaining friendships is also difficult. Ines

Lack of self control. Sometimes feels like I'm a reincarnation. At times feels like I'm being followed and harrassed by demons.

Brain injury is like walking through mud when you're not even moving and trying to turn the sound down with a remote with flat batteries in it.

Awesome description

Not been able to do all the things I took for granted.

My brain injury is 4 years old...
But that was the worst thing I ever had to deal with...
I was hit on the left side of my head,for many years....( because no one can see your bruises)
But each time the slapping got harder,and lasted longer untill it made me throw up..
But living with TBI is no walk in the park...
You lose interest in everything,
Your head hurts,makes me dizzy and full blown vertigo...
Preferably like to be left alone in a really dark room..
Dont want to talk to anyone, forget things that your doing,
Leaving water turned on,stove turned one.
Tripping over your own feet,rather not drive,hard of hearing and I can go on an on...
You need.to retrain your brain back,
And it's the hardest thing to do...
But I feel my good LORD HELPED ME THROUGH THIS....AN I try to stay as POSITIVE as ever...
I will probably never be the same,
But I did get another chance for life..

Like I’m speaking a different language in a foreign country.

Infuriating because people think it is something you just get over

Or like me, you’re accused of being
manipulative, lying, instead of just recovering from a brain injury! All by your “family”. Maddening.

Yup very, very sad but true. I was berated by family for not being the same person they were used to. Its horrendous

It's a tough road for sure. I can relate to all these posts. For over 30 years I've learned various coping mechanisms to get me through the day and keeping my spirits up by not focusing on the person I was, but setting goals to be the person I want to and can be w Limitations. I worked very hard and have too come to grips w reality that it will never be the same, but good in so many other ways. Be Strong folks. We have each other!!

Thank you!!!

want to change my name as i am not who i was.sucks when yu know yur gonna lose it on someone possibly before yur finished living.feels like a butterfly in a jar in my head trying to get out.sounds are getting increasingly painful to hear like sirens and trucks beeping backing up

It is like your brain is a frozen computer screen that can not be rebooted. Powerless with so much power behind not being able to be used. The brain fog and brain damage.

It's as if you are the walking dead haunting your loved ones. Some times they see a flicker of the part they knew but only for a brief moment.

Really good description. Its like they see that flicker but when it passes they get angry at me, as if I'm hiding the real me from them or something... smh

haunting your loved ones is a great analogy.the only people you are sure would listen and understand you actually go the other way cause they dont believe or accept that dozens of concussions has changed your thoughts and ambitions

Leaving the best ingredient out of the meal...

I was 23 years old when my accident happened April 2, 1996. I had left frontal lobe damage. I have right side weakness, short term memory issues, fatigue, some brain fog, and alot of physical pain. I met my husband after my accident. We've been together 21 years and married coming up 18 years. Have a 19 year old son together. Some days are great and others I feel so completely drained. I get told that I'm lazy alot. My biggest supporters where my parents. They have both passed away now. My husband trys but doesn't seem to really understand. He just sees that I have a little bit of a physical difficulty. Not anything underneath. I've been able to live on my own since 3 years after my accident. I'm not dependent on anyone to help me on day to day responsibility's. I do reminders on my phone and notes around the house. I just wish I could wake up from this fog.

Confusion...especially when I was never told about it or never heard the words Traumatic Brain Injury. I am currently waiting, impatiently if I’m honest, to see a specialist to confirm what has deeply impacted my quality of life and continues to on a daily basis as it progressively gets worse.

Yes absolutely agree! And me too, my TBI from bicycle accident was 1982 and nobody ever said brain injury to me or got me help afterward. I found about it by God leading me to see a book on the subj in a bookstore I was working in. I was diagnosed by a psychologist a few yrs ago whose brother is a neurologist and she recommended I see a neurologist. She said I have residual effects of TBI. My first appt with a Neuropsychologist will be this year, 2021! Don't give up and God bless you

To not know why people treat you bad, as if you are the culprit instead of the victim hurts to your core. But worse is when you learn what happened and can't get medical help because it's not NEW. It's new to you and you need help sooner, not ignored as if it will disappear.

progressively getting worse is the same for me.after all my research i have realized a brainscan will help my diagnosis however my doctor will not give it.after mentioning a brainscan my doctor asked me if i was smoking "synthetic marijuana"no sir i was completely k o d four times prior to grade 8.maybe thats why i rely on pot daily for 42years.i hate to say this but us head injury peeps are on our own somewhat,this gives me peace somewhat thinking that i need to fix this myself cause i tried extensively and we are absolutely misunderstood

A constant unending battle with self-identity. I had my head injury when I was 5 months old, too young to have remembered having a personality. I don't know if all the things that are wrong with me are due to the head injury, or if I'm just this way naturally.