"Brain Injury Is ..." Brain Injury Defined By People Who Are Living With It

my experience is linked to domestic violence & right now it feels like he's branded me. I know that will release in time & turn into something beautiful & for the greater good. It feels so hidden & people think I'm fine, but the executive functioning is so difficult & my brain feels pressure, like it freezes up & blocks itself.

My challenges are many these days no dout !!!
But I have more opertunity to feel sucsess these days because of my TBI ...

Like being a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs every day.

Like phyllo dough. Dozens of layers. You’re not sure if they will stick or separate, then the sheet is cut, stacked on top, you get lost, and the pastry is sent in for cooking.

it's been 3 years since I got hurt

my tbi has been a huge problem in my life. it's not something I want people to know about me, I don't want them to see me like this because I'm not comfortable with the new me.  I'm constantly trying to get back to the old me, it's been a battle. I took four solid punches to the back of the head at a house of a dude who I thought was my friend. I was held down and had a plastic bag ziptied over my neck. I was made to believe I would not be going home, that my body would never be found. I can't remember getting out of there. I can remember the people punching me having second thoughts on following through with their original intention. I remember staggering and falling against a cable guardrail trying to get back home. I remember passing out on my bathroom floor and missing work the next day. I remember waking up  confused and looking in the mirror realizing that something was missing/changed. I used to smile alot and it has been hard to do but I am getting it back.  I have a sensitivity to light, I get tremors, I get night terrors, or don't sleep, I lose balance sometimes. I can get some pretty major headaches that I never had before. I've had my fair share of thoughts of loneliness, feeling dumb and worthless, sadness.  I have felt lost when trying to explain to people that my brain is just chaotic and jumps to the worst conclusions. i get close with people and then I distance myself, because I don't know how to proceed
I realize I have a problem and I find solutions as I go. it's not easy opening up to people about a condition I acquired through violence. I want so badly to be able to revert to my original settings.  It's like a constant fog that isn't showing signs of going away.  my brain doesn't process things the way it used to. I often feel like giving up, I just haven't yet... this page makes me feel better and shows that I'm not alone, even when I feel very much alone.

I had a stroke on August 31, 2021. During my 2 days in the hospital, I requested the help of a social worker. I was released from the hospital on September 2,2021. I have had numerous follow up appointments and other appointments as well. I have had home health people to come to my home. With all this interaction, I constantly asked for a social worker, for someone to help me navigate the aftermath of this illness. I have called enough numbers to fill a phone book and I'm still in the same boat. It wasn't until a few days ago that I found out that my injury was not referred to as a stroke, but as a brain injury. The lack of this knowledge was one of the reasons that I wanted a social worker to help me. Maybe now, I can find the help I need through the Office of ABI.

Found myself here when doing some research on tbi. Skydive crash , head first, fractured neck and chest . 10 days in coma , 2 months between hospitals a rehab. I can so relate to people's comments . The hardest thing is loved ones not understanding the challenges we are facing. I guess each person's case is different . I'm used to thinking fast and mind always going, but after injury it takes a conscious effort with some things. I also remember how I was before as soon as I came to I immediately could tell things were different . My accident happened about 3 months ago. I'm waiting for things to get better mentally and was told it takes months . But I'm stubborn and impatient but am trying to learn patience :) but I find the thing I miss the most is feeling excited about something, even a fav food. Looking forward to physical pleasure also is missing. Even emotional pleasure . It has taken a toll on my relationship. Gf often reminds me of things that are lacking and I try to explain what I'm missing emotionally but she doesn't understand. You need many things to be there for someone. I know things are lacking mentally but have no control of how and if it comes back, it's like wishing you were smarter or something. Just doesn't work that way. So life is going through the day to day activities, walking, talking, eating sleeping but missing that zest the little things that make you happy and make you want to keep trying new things . On the plus side I can walk, talk , think (well I think anyways) :) still same stubborn ass I've always been. But I am persistent and refuse to bow down . At the end of the day people tell you to do this or that or just take it east, rest but they don't really understand the difficulties faced. Sometimes you are the only one that can effect your life , hence why I live alone , depressing or not its also life. Sometimes things happen and you have to deal with things. No one else can . I'll do my best and keep doing it . And try to stay optimistic but I do have to say the pandemic situation is a PiTA . Ironically I see people in worst shape mentally, probably on how this year has effected them, mentall imbalances do to social and mental activities. I hope everyone reading this or researching tbi finds some inter peace i think we could all use some .

It’s like having your wings clipped without your permission
— Brian

Its like living in a constant state of anxiety, sometimes panic. Its like wanting to be normal and have normal communication with others but no matter what you do you can't control your words and emotions. Feeling out of control all the time. And needing so much sleep per day there's no room to live a normal life.

My filing system (aka my brain ) is broken. Information comes in but is often filed in the wrong places under the wrong name or only a piece of it gets filed and in a totally unrelated section. I feel like everyone else has a computer and I’m still doing the filing by hand. The info i need is in there somewhere but finding and retrieving it is a nightmare process there is no order only chaos. The hardest part is that you know that you know something it seems familiar it’s right on the edge of your thoughts but because it wasn’t properly filed away it remains beyond your grasp for hours sometimes days until you either find the missing files or give up looking. I know I am a different person than the 16 yr old before the brain injury- it’s so hard to be someone you’re not my reality always feels a bit off like I’m in a play I’m a character performing my role but it’s not really my life I can be really good very convincing that I am the character I portray at times and other times I just feel homesick for something or someone that’s always beyond my grasp

It may have appeared that an inanimate object was taking the lead in ruining my life but having flat-out refused to give up that modicum of control, I draw back the power from a red light and move forward, by my own choosing.
--Murray Dunlap

I hate myself or the person that's here now . Things fall out of my memory. The feeling of worthless when I let someone down because something that suspost to be important to me and them just slips out and they think I'm doing it on purpose. I want to be normal again but gets farther away with every second of that clicks by .

I'm not the one that has the brain injury, but my boyfriend does. He was on drugs for a long time and finally got off them. He unfortunately relapse once and he overdosed. Which that was the reason for the brain injury. But I've been reading up on it. And he keeps saying that people are trying to hurt him, not to mention me!! It's very heartbreaking, because I love him very much. He gets so angry in a split second, and says that he doesn't care if I get hurt, thing's like that. I really need to know if this is normal? If someone can please email me and help. Give me some pointers that would be wonderful. Thank you!

The fear of not knowing what you forgot.

Like building a house with no foundation. Jason

Trying to catch my breath 24/7

It’s like taking a walk down a familiar road that you’ve been down before and everything is brand new. Everything is hard, everything. Marty

I was a loving husband and a proud grandparent. now my family never know who will walk out of the darkened room I now hide in alone, the sullen stranger, the screaming fool, or the one I hate most the crying baby

Angry, frustrated, emotional in shock. What happened? It's been 3 months since my brain infection abscess surgery. I can walk and talk but feel dead inside

Ear pain and agitation and ear pain

I've learned that while at work compiling, recalling, juxtaposing data, and executing action plans to keep ideas and data swirling around in a thought vortex to have access to in formation without attempting to force retrieving memory, which causes debilitating pain with a tbi. Hope it benefits anyone.