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Gretchen Rubin, once wrote, “The days are long, but the years are short.” She was writing about parenting and not traumatic brain injury, but as I reflect on this poignant quote, I realize that as a caregiver, even those seemingly endless days have passed with such speed that I can hardly account for the last three years of my life.
The more we try to look backward and wish for what was, the harder it becomes to move forward and away from the incident or accident that caused all the grief in the first place. Yoga is not a cure, but it’s a catalyst.
It’s well documented that stress affects our ability to concentrate, remember, and sleep, and I don’t think there are many stresses equal to the days and weeks immediately following a severe traumatic brain injury...
It’s easy for us to think people could do better after they look better, to want to say, “Please try harder!” But when we see all the needs that must be fulfilled before a person moves from one level to the next, the picture becomes clearer.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m underestimating Jack’s awareness of the situation. Perhaps it’s not so much that he doesn’t notice, as he doesn’t let it bother him.
I know there will always be days when I cry my face off because of what happened to my dad, but I have learned that the best remedy for the unfairness is meeting the daughters and sons and wives and brothers and friends of others who have been where I have been.
Of all the things I was warned about following TC’s brain injury diagnosis, no one suggested the idea of mistrust or suspicion. I didn’t anticipate waking up one day, twelve exhausting and painstaking months into his recovery, to find myself on trial, accused of harboring ulterior motives and secret plans...
Life changes in a million small ways that others cannot see when a loved one is suddenly brain injured. Few understand why caregiving spouses are grieving. After all, you should be grateful that your loved one is still with you. Right? Of course…and yet….
We’ve arrived. It’s taken two and half years to get here, but I now cautiously declare that our family has reached that elusive, indeterminate state of being otherwise known as the “new normal.” What I didn’t expect, however, is that it would take so long for the new normal to finally take hold. Or, like I wrote last month, that it would be so fragile.
March is brain injury awareness month. It’s the dead of winter in these parts and about the time of year when my dad starts to get bored. And when my dad gets bored, he gets in trouble. I feel all the heat and sorrow of this brain injury pour over me yet again.
Dr. David Williamson, former director of the inpatient TBI Program at Walter Reed, discusses the key way friends, family, and co-workers can support veterans with TBI.
As I began my second life as a brain injury survivor, I found myself having to play defense against stunningly hurtful and relationship-ending accusations.
I know everyone’s story, while different, can be similar in a lot of ways. I have found there are many ‘walls’ that I have come up against. Some hit me right out of the blue with no warning and others crept up slowly. But, once I realized what the ‘wall’ was, I always manage to find a way to climb over it.
Doctors and therapists are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I get it. Offer too much positivity and create false hope. Steer too negatively and crush people’s spirits. I don’t envy their position.
"The great thing about transformation and change...is that it’s possible." BrainLine blogger, Abby Maslin sees continual transformation in her life and in her husband's.
BrainLine blogger Janna Leyde reminds herself that expectations can be tricky traps. "They will rule everything if you let them, but their rules can be unfair."
"The truth is I was so lonely I was worried I was going crazy. At night, I would close my eyes and silently speak to the husband who no longer existed," writes caregiver Abby Maslin.
"Christmas makes me anxious," writes BrainLine blogger, Janna Leyde. For her family, the holidays have changed since her father's TBI. Yet, they've still found a way to focus on what's most important.