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My Relationship with Depression

David and his wife smiling in a garden

My life will forever be marked by that day in November of 2010 when I sustained a brain injury after being hit by a car while riding my bicycle. It was a true "before and after" scenario. However, an unexpected consequence followed: my decades-long depression disappeared. I was as stunned as anyone …

Lost Memories and Living in the Present: Reflections of a Brain Injury Survivor

David and his wife smiling in front of trees on a sunny day

Over the last couple of years, I’ve discovered mindfulness and have learned the value of living life “in the moment.” It’s a learned skill that has enabled me to find peace in my life. In what amounts to almost an irony, I no longer have much of my past to recall. The future never really comes. By circumstance, rather than any virtue, I am now forced to live in the moment.

Ignoring the Inner Narrative

David and his wife smiling by a sunny pier

Living with a brain injury is, by far, the most complicated thing I have ever done. There have been great joys, stunning victories, and, somehow against all odds, I’ve carved out this amazing life. Sometimes, I just need to remind myself that just because I think something, doesn’t mean that it’s true. 

Good News Disguised as Bad News

David and his wife smiling surrounded by foliage

Last month, I found out that I qualified for a Cornell University research study about brain injury.... I ruefully admit that I was nervous going into the testing. What brokenness in me would they find? I do pretty well these days, well enough that most people might not notice my challenges. But I still have an ego and can be more sensitive that I care to admit.

The Inherent Uncertainty of Life After Brain Injury

David and his wife, wearing "Wild African Trek" vests, smile in front of a hippopotamus

If there’s one thing that is all but guaranteed after a brain injury, it’s uncertainty. So much of what we face as survivors is unique to the brain injury community. Brain injury is often — but not always — invisible to others and no two brain injuries are alike. The challenges I face are often different from those other survivors face. Often invisible, and always unpredictable, brain injury is a unique confluence of challenges.

Finding my Motivation, Holiday Edition

An Ugly Bedazzled Unicorn Holiday Sweater

But this is how I’ve been feeling about the holidays this year. I just don’t want to. There is so much going on at home, at work, and in the world, and it’s all weighing heavily on my mind. There is just too much!

Retaining Walls of the Heart

Norma smiling in front of her large retaining wall garden

Picture a retaining wall — a structural feature that allows you to support landscaping and help prevent erosion. My retaining wall comes with its own definition because it is an emotional retaining wall that I — consciously, subconsciously, or both — constructed after my sons Aaron and Steven’s car accident in 2012. 

Paying It Forward

Norma and Steven smiling in front of Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital

Doing something kind for another person, no matter how big or small, not only positively impacts our own mental health but it can also bring joy to someone else. Even tiny actions go a long way. It feels good to do good. And, in my experience, good begets good.

Surviving My Flood of 2022

David and his wife smiling from a simulated space station

This is the month that I mark 12 years as a brain injury survivor. These “crash anniversaries” have pushed me to reflect; it’s hard not to look back at the “before and after” chapters of my life — sifting, shuffling, and reinterpreting the contents of each.

Healing Your Way

A beagle, named Rusty, with Aaron and Steven

I am a big believer in working through what I walk through. If I have learned anything from everything that has come from the day of the crash, it is that we are each responsible for how we respond — and heal from — what happens in our lives. We must learn to heal our way.