Learning by Accident

If someone you care about has a loved one who has sustained a traumatic brain injury and they tell you all is well, don’t believe them. Look beyond the surface.

Who wants to admit they have mental health problems? We’d rather say, “I’m just stressed out.”

Families who have survived traumatic brain injury know when life is really hard and when it’s not.

It’s hard to feel safe and trust happiness after your father is nearly killed and radically changed. After your mother nearly perishes from grief. But Bianca changed the air in the room.

What does the word recovery mean after a TBI? Does it indicate the full return of your abilities, talents, and skills? Or is it much more? Could recovery mean a return to life—a life that feels whole and full of possibility again?

It’s easy for us to think people could do better after they look better, to want to say, “Please try harder!” But when we see all the needs that must be fulfilled before a person moves from one level to the next, the picture becomes clearer.

My husband Hugh had a mantra for life and business, "Everything is negotiable." Remembering these words after his TBI helped me many times over.

"When a loved one is radically changed after a brain injury, seldom do we focus on the positives that might have sprung from the aftermath of a traumatic injury," writes BrainLine blogger, Rosemary Rawlins.

Joining a group — any group you connect with — can help stave off depression for a person with TBI and his or her family caregivers, says BrainLine blogger Rosemary Rawlins.

Flowers and candy, wine and expensive gifts are nice, but not the secret to a long and healthy marriage, says Rosemary Rawlins.

Remembering her father who had dementia — another sort of injury to the brain — Rosemary says that letting time stand still every now and then is good for the soul.

Rosemary Rawlins talks about how being a caregiver can be incredibly lonely and that finding someone in the same boat can be the buoy that you so desperately need.