The Truth About Divorce After Traumatic Brain Injury

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We made a marriage vow 51 years ago that still stands.We're in it together.

After a stroke and several TIA's I was separated and now heading for divorce after 25 years of marriage.  However, it's not because of the burden on my wife.  It's because of my renewed outlook on the fragility and limited nature of our lives.  I view it as a positive thing even though my TBI was, and still is, a devastating injury to myself physically, mentally and emotionally.  So, while some look at our spouses 'abandoning' us, as if we are the problem, how about looking at the injury as awaking us to what matters and giving us the courage to leave?

I must wonder about the study reporting the zero divorce rate after injury after age 60. I am 65 and had serious closed head brain injury from a fall five years ago. That was followed by two hemorrhagic strokes in malformed arteries resulting from the trauma. Together this has produced general and very specific forms of disconnection syndrome that especially affect my left brain control of my right brain emotional responses.

I was very recently examined in a psychiatric hospital unit for several weeks and no psychiatric problems were found. However, while there my wife of 44 years informed me that she would not be at home to greet me when I was discharged. We are now permanently separated as I cannot risk myself again to the extreme level of emotional pain I suffered when she told me she was leaving. There was no physical abuse ever involved and never any form of "wandering" or cheating by either of us. My wife simply has not been able to deal with the severe change of emotional control I have experienced.

The damage to my corpus callosum was extensive so brain hemispheres are partially disconnected and will remain that way. I now live alone in an apartment and the house we did live in is on the market. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I have no way out of it and very little left to live for. I will never kill myself but it will be a relief when that time comes.

7 years and feel like others.  Why us and life should have been so different.  He tries to pretend he has not changed but can be so different, especially with my family.  I don't think we would be together if it wasn't for the children.

After my husband's accident he is definitely not the person I married. I will wake up to a different person each day never knowing what mood he will be in or what type of person he will be. Most days he is bearable and others I want to run away. What type of person would I be for leaving him when this wasn't his fault? But do I deserve to be miserable for the rest of my life? I have struggled with this for a long time....

I feel exactly the same way- 11 years post stroke and I am at my breaking point, now has white matter disease, only more miserable as he loses more memory, and function. What kind of person leaves after 40 years of marriage. I feel I should just ride it out.

His tbi injury happened 15 years ago and there's almost not a day that goes by that he does something to remind me he is not the person I fell in love with. I'm often like "who is this guy" and "why did this happen to us?" I am so sad because our lives should have been so different. Had I met him and he was like this I never would have been in a relationship with him. I hate my life with this stranger. Why? Just why?

I find myself making poor decisions in my marriage and work life.  I like to think its unrelated to my injury but I don't know after reading this and other articles.  My injury was about seven and a half years ago which seems to be about the magic number for things to really unravel.  

After my injury my wife of 6 yrs , girlfriend of 20 baby mama of 12 left stating I was no longer the guy she married. I have to say I would not have done the same.

I had a brain injury in 2008, I was in hospital and physiotherapy for 6 months,I wasn't married but as my girlfriend of 2 years was there for me I decided to marry her that will come back to backfire on me. I was a party man and was out all the time plus I followed my football team all over the country. After the accident I had to learn how to walk and talk again as I was paralysed down one side of the body.
The girl , knew what she was getting into as we didn't get married until 2012, but still brought my injury up all the time and would say DO YOU SEE WHAT I NEED TO PUT UP WITH, when I would forget something with my memory loss. I had a lot of money and when my savings got low she said I want out, I cant put up with you anymore and finished it at the end of 2018. I changed as a person and wasn't confident and let her walkover the top of me, and since we have split I have my confidence back and my old personality is coming back. At the end of the day its a bad thing at the time but in the long run its so much better.

How did you correct for your acknowledged statistical bias in your study sample ("only 15% of subjects were separated or divorced"), when the separated/divorce rate in the general population is higher?

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