10 Things People with a Brain Injury Would Like to Hear...

10 Things People with a Brain Injury Would Like to Hear

BrainLine asked our online community to share the things they would most like to hear from their friends and family, and the list below captures some of the many responses so generously provided by people with TBI.

Every individual’s experience with traumatic brain injury is unique, but there are many common symptoms and emotions. Anger, fear, depression, and anxiety may be accompanied by difficulties with memory, pain, and the challenges of maintaining relationships.

1. I'm sorry. How can I help?
– Alison

2. Please tell me what having a TBI is like. Can you tell me where I can read more about TBI?
– Melody

3. I don't know how you feel, but you are my friend and I will always be there for you.
– AmyRenee

4. I admire your willpower. You will get through this.
– Amina

5. I know I don't understand what it's like, but I will try my hardest to be patient and understanding.
– Christy

6. Take your time — we are not in a hurry.
– Lisa

7. When are you going grocery shopping, I want to go, too. Or, what yard work can I come do?
– Darla

8. I don't know what to say but I'm sorry it happened to you.
– Crystal

9. The you that is YOU hasn't changed. You just have a harder time thinking than you used to.
– Fred

10. I will bring you some delicious healthy brain foods and snacks — and come to sweep and do laundry, but don't worry, I won't stay too long.
– Heal Your Concussion

We encourage you to add your own definitions in the comments section below and to join the BrainLine community on Facebook and Twitter.

Posted on BrainLine February 28, 2018. Reviewed July 26, 2018.

Comments (174)

Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.

I have TBI.....am 28 have an 8 year old son,I feel as though HE HAS MORE FREEDOM THAN ME :( This website is helping me understand things much better

I realize you have not been affected intellectually just because you have trouble with attention issues, memory, and in other cognitive areas that control or assist with your intelligence. I also understand that I may not relate to the way you do things because they are completely invisible to me and I can only assume your motivations from what I see. However, since I am an intelligent person and have learned from research the effects of traumatic brain injury ( short and LONG TERM) I realize that you are doing your best and I support you!!!! I support you regardless because you are my friend/spouse/other and I know people are motivated to do their best and achieve something with their lives as a rule and because I care about you!

I don't know.  I wish that people would talk to me.  That they would accept that im someone else.  Im so lonely but yet I cannot communicate well enough to move on.  I was a powerful self motivated person bofore but now im weak and need encouragement but get none.  Im laughed at and ignored. I just need someone to give me hope. Someone to love me.

I still want to be your friend even though it will be different and you may not ever "get better", I appreciate the person you are inside enough to weather through this rough patch and not walk out when it gets hard.

When I am lost in my car and cannot find my where I'm going (in spite of having GPS) or cannot remember which way I turned at the last intersection,  I am frightened.  Deep breathing saves me from an instant anxiety attack.  This inability to lay down a retraceable path still interferes with my living comfortably with my disability.  Still I am grateful that I'm alive every day, and  that I can drive.  I send love and energy to both the TBI's and their caregivers out there.

The points made above are excellent.  Too bad after 13 years after having suffered a brain tumor surgically removed and the resultant TBI issues, I never heard any of them.

"What happened to me inspired me to go into this field and do the job I do every day, to help people like you. To let you see it's not over and you can get back to where you were! I wouldn't change a thing that happened to me." -Said by me (Kasey) to my patients. I'm an 11yr TBI survivor and An Occupational Therapy Assistant.
I am your friend, and i trust you.
Just seeing you smile is fantastic for me
"I will gladly help you in whatever way I can that is within my means".....(my severe TBI was the result of an uninsured motorist speeding thru a red light....i got no compensation.)
ACCEPT THE HELP-when given to you!-that was HARD for ME to "accept" since I wanted/am a "very independent" person!:)-don't "think" more about "things" than you should-write you "a reminder post it note"-I have "post-it" notes EVERYWHERE in our house!-lol-if your reading something-HIGHLIGHT IT or "follow along" with your finger and BOOKMARK IT!(helps ME a lot)-smiles-and "tell" your caregivers "THANK YOU" verbally!....and SOMETIMES A HUG IS "APPROPRIATE" OR A "HAND SHAKE"-they do a lot too!-Marcia, a TBI "survivor"
"I understand love about your hurt brain and it doesn't matter to me, I love you just the same"
"One cannot smell flowers from a galloping horse."....Chinese proverb....
I Love you just the way you are!
Have a good sleep, I'll see you/ talk to you when you get up.
If only people understood each injury is unique.....not to google and say yours doesn't match up perfectly therefore yours is not a "true" brain injury. It effects relationships, memories, likes, dislikes, some things you have experienced are New again. You can see things differently like the flicker of a leaf on a tree is magnified....you can hear and see each movement with such clarity. There is not a timeline on healing so do Not hold me accountable to whatever you have read....again each injury is unique.
Its not so much what is. said as a mom of a child with brain injury, it really bugs me when people treat my child as non human, she just wants to be accepted justlike everyone else.
There are times I "waffle" with my decision. Trying to figure out what is BEST. Just give me time, I try so hard! Sometimes I don't know how to express my needs or what I want, just stay with me, don't hurry me, & DON'T berate me. Thank you for letting me vent. Still dealing with limitations 36 years post TBI (1976) Bobbie
I should not have to be the one to that has to educate you on what it is like to live a day with my chronic and life long condition of brain injury, but I will try my best to! As I am taking it upon myself to continually learn & accept my entire life! Caring and simple compassion go a lot farther in helping me to understand what I am up against and dealing with on a daily basis, going moment by moment! Judgement, ridicule, guilt and shame are reckless tactics to control by individuals who really have no control in their lives! So they think by controlling your broken world with their numerous convictions and judgement are what makes the world go round and makes themselves feel better! When truth be told that is the farthest from the truth! It sucks to be openly honest at times, but this is our reality now! I still have support from wherever I can receive it and by those who accept and do not judge intentionally!
I will not tell you that I have already answered that question. I will just answer you again.
You are not damaged goods. You are still worthy of love and I still love you. You're not stupid and I am sorry for making you feel that way.
A friend who had a TBI told me to \\\'be easy on myself...be very patient with myself...\\\' It helped so much.
I don't understand your injuries or how they affect you and your family, but I believe in you enough to know they are real.
We are your family and we'll always be here for you. You're my son and I would love to visit you weekly and bring you dinner so you have one day of not worrying about it. Is their anything we can do to help you at all?