10 Things People with a Brain Injury Would Like to Hear...

10 Things People with a Brain Injury Would Like to Hear

BrainLine asked our online community to share the things they would most like to hear from their friends and family, and the list below captures some of the many responses so generously provided by people with TBI.

Every individual’s experience with traumatic brain injury is unique, but there are many common symptoms and emotions. Anger, fear, depression, and anxiety may be accompanied by difficulties with memory, pain, and the challenges of maintaining relationships.

1. I'm sorry. How can I help?
– Alison

2. Please tell me what having a TBI is like. Can you tell me where I can read more about TBI?
– Melody

3. I don't know how you feel, but you are my friend and I will always be there for you.
– AmyRenee

4. I admire your willpower. You will get through this.
– Amina

5. I know I don't understand what it's like, but I will try my hardest to be patient and understanding.
– Christy

6. Take your time — we are not in a hurry.
– Lisa

7. When are you going grocery shopping, I want to go, too. Or, what yard work can I come do?
– Darla

8. I don't know what to say but I'm sorry it happened to you.
– Crystal

9. The you that is YOU hasn't changed. You just have a harder time thinking than you used to.
– Fred

10. I will bring you some delicious healthy brain foods and snacks — and come to sweep and do laundry, but don't worry, I won't stay too long.
– Heal Your Concussion

We encourage you to add your own definitions in the comments section below and to join the BrainLine community on Facebook and Twitter.

Posted on BrainLine February 28, 2018. Reviewed July 26, 2018.

Comments (175)

Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.

I am sorry for how you are feeling, I completely understand. I have a tbi and my husband does everything. I have had mine for a little over a year. It is only us no family not many friends any more. I have tried many antidepressants also. I find 300 MG Wellbutrin has worked best for me. Walking just 15 min a day is a help. I know it is hard but it does help. I also find that tumeric, fish oil and b complex helps. I take ones that are high quality. You can research on amazon. Brain games help also. I drink plenty of water and eat high quality veggies and fruits, limet the meat and dairy. Salmon and some chicken are good options. You may want to research Functunal neurologist. They are very expensive and don't take insurance. If you can afford it, good option. I have to limet my activities rest and take naps. If I overdo it I feel as though I have the flu for the next several days. I hope this helps you and anyone else that reads this post. If you have questions reply and I will be sure to check back on this site.
Stay positive and keep your head up.

You should go to a support group. My brother has a brain injury and he has outbursts frequently, but he always apologizes shortly after.

Dealing with the stress that a TBI puts on you, is there a way I could accompany/take sessions that would help alleviate your burden and help me understand more?

I know that you have a brain injury but sure you are fine now

A good friend told me this. "You used to be brilliant. It must be hard to be average now." I felt like at last someone understands!! This wasn't mean it was true and real and I was having a hard time adjusting. Here was finally understanding, compassion and friendship.

I feel the pain and frustration from the tbi stories I'm reading. I'm a caregiver and wife of a very wonderful man.he had an anoxic tbi in 2009.I truly believe that you make sure you keep things as normal as possible like they were before. We've been doing this for 9 years.and honestly my husband has problems with all daily activities. He is totally dependant but that has Never changed how our family see's him.we take him out to movies ,ball games our county fair, music events.all in a wheelchair. He's very alert but doesn't talk now but he uses his facial expressions to talk.And that's great.cause we all understand exactly what
He's telling us.I Really wish and pray that there were more resources for ANYONE that develops a TBI... like rehab , more music and ways of art for you all to be able to express yourself. I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I BELIEVE IN EACH OF YOU AND I PRAY WE ALL COULD BRING MORE ATTENTION TO
To our people in local government and eventually the senate. Lots of love

Do you need some time to yourself?

I see you walking everyday, I know exercising is not only good for the body; but, it is also good for the brain. Can I walk with you?

Maria, I wish you were here in Bend! I wish I had someone to walk with. I was out this afternoon and at times wasn't feeling very safe because I was alone. What if I fell? But I can't worry about that ... I just need to get out.

You know, all we can do by ourself is the best we can do... EVERY DAY. It's hard isn't it?!?!

You are a lucky man... you have your wife, she is supporting you! WOW, that says a lot about her. As I'm sure you know, that is exceptional! Great for you!

I feel your pain... she deserves an unrestricted life also! By giving your continued solidarity (not feeling or giving retribution) she knows your true love because you show appreciation! I'd love to talk one-on-one or with a group as I am a survivor also. Dawn at Health South has helped so much but it is up to us to do the right thing and the best we can! Let's feel good about ourselves and happy! If there is anything I can do... Make it a great day! Randy

Get CBD oil. It will heal your brain.

What's cbd oil?

"Derived from the stalk and seed of cannabis (hemp) plants, cannabidiol (CBD) oil or CBD hemp oil is a natural botanical concentrate that is high in the compound CBD. ... Pure CBD hemp oil is extracted from the cannabis varieties that are naturally abundant in CBD, and low in THC". CBD oil does not provide a high and is meant to be relaxing, you can apply a drop of it on the back of your neck and it will take into to effect in as little as 60 seconds.

I know how you feel. It tears me up to read your story. Hard to explain a tbi to someone that has not lived it. Never give up. Keep your loved ones close.

“I know how you feel.” No, you don’t. Nobody knows how another person feels, especially if you have not experienced brain injury. Even if you have, your experiences would be different. Making this kind of comment discounts what a person is going through. Instead try something like this, “I cannot imagine how you feel.”

In the year 2003 I awoke after a crash in University Hospital to a wonderful loving wife, unfortunately, TBI came with the awakening. Now, after the years have gone by, TBI never goes away, and the symptoms from it have caused a strain on my wife's life too. I wish it was easier after all this time, but it isn't, I am certainly glad to still be here, but in what content, so many things do not compute, I wish I could fix myself, and be the person I used to be. Where to turn to help my wife's life be better and me stay in it too?? I have met so many people who desperately need help, but society seems to only go so far, is there someplace where we both could be helped,..I realize I cannot be the person I WAS, but maybe understand and deal with things enough to be the loving husband I used to be and for my wife, she could understand and cope too, she deserves a happier life as well. Thank you Very Much.

Getting extremely upset when asked the same question constantly, but on different days.

Just an FYI for caregivers-watch for loops-being caught in a cycle of repetition that leads nowhere. This is extremely frustrating and would be nice to have this pointed out, because most times we don't see it. I saw the above comment and had to add. I get stuck in a loop all the time. As a matter of fact that's exactly the word I use to describe it. My poor husband takes the brunt of it and I don't know how to stop it. I see 3 different doctors now. I'm over 3 years POST TBI and I am straining our relationship. How do you stop the loop??

Find someone that gets it. Find someone that understands what you're talking about or trying to say. Good luck

i dont know how to stop it but you are not alone!! just letting you know!! it sucks!!

My ex husband was a very violent and abusive man. He had head on brain injury due to an accident in a swimming pool during his teenage years. His personality greatly changed after that. I wonder... Are all reckless behavior by TBI patient purely unintentional? Does he know that he is reckless and impulsive?

In our case, he knows that he is being reckless and impulsive, but he has lost the ability to use that information to make better choices.

One of the things my family was warned of before I got home was not to ever leave me alone because I would not be able to recognize when I was not being safe. I think that goes with the territory. But not necessarily. We differ, each one of us. I I know I have done things that I recognized was reckless even when explained to me. In fact, by trying to explain it to me I got angry. I felt like they were over exaggeration to make me feel bad. The problem is that the brain does not necessarily recognize its deficiencies. It can be in denial. prayers go out to you and your family.

There are several posts expressing a need for connection and understanding. If anyone whose friends aren't there right now wants to reach out, I would be so happy to connect with you. Even if its just email, I'd love to just talk. My name is Ross. I am a student at Arizona State University. My email is recarlto@asu.edu   

I know this is kind of weird and out there, but please don't be afraid to reach out.

When I ask for help or accompaniment for a seemingly simple task or walk to the store it would be nice to have that person say sure ok lets go rather than a selfish un-understanding no or brush off reaction as that is infuriating. Like its not embarrassing enough to need assistance for basic ass shit. Add a mental breakdown and full on embarrassment ensues.

Nobody understands me anymore. This is my third TBI. I am fifty two. One of my kids messages me this big note and I can't understand it. Other then I have been disowned. I ca not communicating back because garner mistakes get me in trouble. Everyone laughs. I me if I get a word wrong. One relative keeps saying when are you going to get better, then it all turn religious and stressful. I just wan to kill my self. I even had years of psychology treatment. I am so tired of insurance adjuster on my case bugging me. Now I have a new neurologist that is against the seizures drug I am taking I was about to walk out of the office. He didn't hear anty of my thing about the head ach after rolling a SUV no nun of that matters. All that mattered was that the drug I was taking causes weight loss and that was why I w "claiming" to be epileptic. OM fingers G. This was not my first seizure. Where are these doctors getting their licences. And that is only the frozen water droplet of the iceberg of the shit I have been going through scince 2006

Keep your head up and never give up.There are still many people who care and know your exact pain and suffering.Guardian angels are looking over you has I type.I know without a doubt that your entire terrible situation is fixing to change for the better.Godbless.

Your words are encouraging and thoughtful. Unfortunately you said there are people that care and want to help.
True, there are those people, but the fight with insurance companies begins and they don't want to pay for help. Someone mentioned a LOOP in this blog. It's a never ending loop.

You're never going to get well, you're now marked as crazy and people will take advantage of you and manipulate you for the rest of your life.  Nobody will ever give a crap about you, so go find a desolate place and hide for the rest of your miserable life.  This is just an honest truth.  Don't ever get your hopes up.

Your words are so miserable to hear. But I am realizing after years of looking for help that your words are so F-ing true. I even tried to explain to family and friends what I have, why I act the way I do and they claim they get it.
They don't get it. The medical profession doesn't get it. It is so frustrating. No wonder we want to be left alone.

I'm so glad these comments are here. My son suffered from TBI, it's been 8 years and he's still trying to find ways to live a normal life day by day

Been almost 6 yr for my son. Most difficult thing we've ever been through... How do you stay positive and move from here?

I have had TBI for about one year. I have stayed positive because I used to do ninjitsu. I remember from this martial art that when we are dealing with a situation best to deal with it straight on, this way you can cope. I remember when in this situation been told about the five doors. when confronted you have a choice as to which door you open so instead of open the depressed or the angry door, try opening the more peaceful or thoughtful door. the point is there is always a choice to how you react. it is something from ninjitsu that I have used all my life, especially now..since day one at the Acquired Brain Injury Rehabilitation clinic I have turned away from the angry and depressed door and opened the think forward and positive action door and the gain control door. this got me out of a wheelchair in about 12 weeks. I believe it makes a difference...I hope this helps.

The human mind is powerful. I believe what your saying. We just need others to understand what were saying

Thank you, thank you, I am going to do this too!

I will not stray away from you, you are my friend . Smile, you are so special..

Kind and thoughtful words except for the last word. Saying someone is "special" simply opens up the door for more criticism from people that pretend they care.

It would also be nice to hear, I love you

Okay first of all I have TBI supposedly.  I was in a car accident in a coma for 2 1/2  I had to learn everything over again but I do so much for everyone and when they can't find someone I find the for them I don't even live with someone and I make a suggestion and it's there I can do everything I did before my accident so why do they treat everyone with TBI the same it's getting really old I feel like I'm a kid again and what I want to look up there's nothing about what I want to look up is that because they don't know anything or everything about TBI I think it varies from person to person and also I think the person ask the way that you treated if they get treated like a kid they act like a kid to get treated like they have responsibilities they act like they have it so I think they better do a little more research on the subject case close

I received TBI following a RTA in 1972. I lost my vision speech and my left side Useless. It was worse than learning as a child as I was  5' 10" farmer and rugby player.my Vision slowly returned.It took 30 years for my speech to not stutter, this gave me more confidence and I felt less self conscious. I have to take part in exercises to continue my ability to walk with a limp,I just wonder how long I can continue.How it would be good to run. So lucky to be able to take part in outwardly normal life.Nice to hear you look fine, l understand how any disability effects you.

You are doing great! I admire your strength and courage, please help me to understand what you need me to do to help you.

I need you to help me in a way that can make everyone understand.

Just an FYI for caregivers-watch for loops-being caught in a cycle of repetition that leads nowhere. This is extremely frustrating and would be nice to have this pointed out, because most times we don't see it.

it would be wonderful if someone said 'well done' or 'good job' after I have struggled for ages to do some simple task in their minds.  it is exhausting to accomplish anything and a kind word would mean so much to me.  all I get is 'you're too slow' or 'you need to hurry'.  people need to stop and think :)

I understand what you're saying.

Would be nice to hear at least one of theses... Not sure if I ever have? Living with a broken brain has been rough but I'm still going.


My acceptance of my TBI has taught me that "the old me" is gone, and to deal with me now! # 9 is not true for me!

I disagree with number nine. Because we have changed and that's the problem! Everyone wants the old you back, but that's not possible.

I was told that talking about my brain injury was victim mentality. I got TBI by domestic violence and don't know how to deal with it. It scares me