10 Things People with a Brain Injury Would Like to Hear...

BrainLine
10 Things People with a Brain Injury Would Like to Hear

BrainLine asked our online community to share the things they would most like to hear from their friends and family, and the list below captures some of the many responses so generously provided by people with TBI.

Every individual’s experience with traumatic brain injury is unique, but there are many common symptoms and emotions. Anger, fear, depression, and anxiety may be accompanied by difficulties with memory, pain, and the challenges of maintaining relationships.


1. I'm sorry. How can I help?
– Alison

2. Please tell me what having a TBI is like. Can you tell me where I can read more about TBI?
– Melody

3. I don't know how you feel, but you are my friend and I will always be there for you.
– AmyRenee

4. I admire your willpower. You will get through this.
– Amina

5. I know I don't understand what it's like, but I will try my hardest to be patient and understanding.
– Christy

6. Take your time — we are not in a hurry.
– Lisa

7. When are you going grocery shopping, I want to go, too. Or, what yard work can I come do?
– Darla

8. I don't know what to say but I'm sorry it happened to you.
– Crystal

9. The you that is YOU hasn't changed. You just have a harder time thinking than you used to.
– Fred

10. I will bring you some delicious healthy brain foods and snacks — and come to sweep and do laundry, but don't worry, I won't stay too long.
– Heal Your Concussion

We encourage you to add your own definitions in the comments section below and to join the BrainLine community on Facebook and Twitter.

Posted on BrainLine February 28, 2018. Reviewed July 26, 2018.

Comments (195)

Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.

My son has TBI from a four wheeler accident at the age of 14 yrs to look and talk to him he seems normal but if you know him and get to know him you can tell certain things about him. For instance he can be talked into doin anything the part of his brain that is hurt is the part that tells right from wrong he'll know it's wrong to do it but if someone is pressuring him or asking him to do something he will do it and not think about the consiquinces of getting caught. So his friends talked him into stealing a car and now the adrenaline rush he got from it is now causing him to continue stealing cars. He had a second accident a few months back that left him with a second TBI. He's twenty four years old now he can lead a normal life only he can't work due to all his bodily disabilities. He's broken almost every bone in his body crushed his legs I guess what I'm asking does anyone know of any counseling classes that I could get my son into for his addiction for stealing cars. He could live a normal life even if he can't work if he could get over the grand theft auto addiction. I do agree he needs punishment for his stealing but prison isn't the place he needs or anyone with brain injuries for that matter. If you know of any counseling I can get for him plz reply back to me I'm desperate I don't want to hover over my son but I don't want to lose him to prison for something he's doing due to medical issues.

It sounds like it’s the adrenaline rush he’s addicted to, try to introduce him to other, healthier and legal activities which will give him an adrenaline rush. Roller coasters, sky diving, rock climbing, etc. It might help. I am not sure if therapy would help much. Especially if he’s not ready to accept the help.

As a survivor of a brain injury I am an extreme adrenaline seeker , I use that energy in the gym and painting and writing, and even enrolling in college classes. I find that my brain hyper focuses on a thing, granted anything and small projects like painting again, running a mile again truly helps me cause these goals are maintainable and i get the "rush" by putting all my brain power in the little goals and getting my "high" from there, granted its not the same , and I know that first hand, but it stops my mind in thinking of my "pre injury self" The more time I spend not doing something the more time I wander, which in turn gets me in trouble.

I wish folks would say.
1. Anytime you want to call, just call, I'll be there to listen to you and hear you. Let me know how things are going
2. Let's go for a walk, we can chat
3. Don't ever feel like you're imposing when you ask for help, that's what I am here for. anytime.

My son had tbi 20 years ago he can't talk walk feed himself I care for him 24 hrs a day so while reading your posts and having empathy for the people writing thier story's mine is completely different and I have nobody to share my son's experience with .

I was involved in a hit and run on my moped brain bleed, broken skull, facial fractures, brain damage, dead brain tissue, I can't think of the other things but does anyone else wake up not knowing the day or anything then everything just comes rushing in and makes your head feel likes it's about to pop. Then other days you just wake up in a great mood and forget all about your injury and then those memory's from the incident all come in at once because I give myself going thru this always 2 or more times a month!

My brother was hit by drunk driver while riding a bicycle and now has the same thing almost exactly except for the part where you said remembering the incident all at once he has no memory of before waking up in the hospital other than a few things that i some how got him to remember one night while I was talking to him im 21 hes 34

Good day, my husband go through this on a regular base every day. his TBI happen this past may 2022. so i know what you r going through. Keep up the great work!

Good morning I'm Jason. I was involved in a snowmobile accident, which it happened on Christmas Eve in 1999. I went to a party for my ex girlfriend staff party, she was a waitress at the time. We got home and we got into a little disagreement, I asked her if she wanted to go out for a ride on my 1997 formula 500 ski doo, she said no. I jumped on the snow machine and took off, I had a helmet on, it was not done up. I was on the windy roadway, 40 drop way down to the frozen lake. I lost control of my snowmobile, I ended up on the lake. My snowmobile was up on the road way, still idioling, undamaged. 5 or 7 minutes went by and another snowmobiler called 911. I had 2 collapsed lungs, broken jaw, nose, wrist and I had surgery on my left arm. Lost three quarters of blood. Helmet was 35 feet away from me. I had a head injury, 6 inches by 5 inches. Lost a quarter of my brain. Doctors put 155 staples in my head, stitches into my body. The ambulance took me to the Huntsville hospital, doctors wanted to fly me down to Saint Michael's hospital in Toronto, the weather was to bad, so they had drive in a 4 by 4 ambulance.

I support you and I love you

My boyfriend was in a bike accident and has suffered from traumatic brain injury. He doesn’t remember me , but does remember his family which is more important. I have been encouraging by sending him inspirational messages etc , calling him at the hospital and finally when he got released to go home I have stopped by to check on him. He doesn’t want to talk to me he has block me from social media , phone etc. I understand what he is going through is very difficult I just don’t know how to help him or be there for him. I feel helpless because I love him and don’t know how to help him.

Your story breaks my heart. I am so sorry to hear that. I hope YOU are doing better. God Bless you.

I never had a bike accident but I had a brain injury I had a bleed on the brain in hospital for eight months then rebuild Titian I had to learn how to walk talk I had a tracheoscopy it's hard to think like everybody else I always come out with the wrong answers that's why I get support and the support I get are brilliant just try and live day today and have a normal life sometimes it's hard for me because I lock myself away I suffer with depression and anxiety and sometimes it hits the roof then I don't wanna know no one I just stay in bed sometimes it's really hard brains are powerful everybody has different brain injuries and either gonna be this is me now I'm not going to change I'm not gonna get no worse just got to get on with it Sometimes I can be abrupt but I don't mean to I come out with the wrong things I think it's okay for me to say it but it's not really so the support workers help me and the support I get today they all deserve a gold star are they put up with me but they're brilliant I've Gotta keep asking what their names are because I forget quite quickly it's mad how your brains work because I can remember a few years ago but it's really hard to think now I'm a member now because I don't remember my brain just freezes when I have a conversation then I think what if I just said I can't remember and then I asked the people then it comes back to me I like that person was gonna buy a book a bike accident don't give up that's all you can do is just be there for him and maybe one day never say never

First I just want to say that I am so sorry for what you and your boyfriend are going through. I am sure you are going through a million emotions because you just want things to go back to the way they were before your boyfriend's accident. Unfortunately, right now it is not possible and it hurts you.
Your boyfriend is going through a million emotions as well and is very confused, his brain is not functioning at full capacity and he cannot process things as well as he used to. At this point the only thing you can do is give him space, let him know you are there if he needs you. He may come around and slowly get his memory back there is always a possibility and you shouldn't lose hope. But I also think you should be taking care of yourself right now, maybe speak with a therapist or someone you can confide in on a regular basis and focus on something for you, go on a trip or start a new hobby? Surround yourself with friends, anyone to help you get through this tough time. That is what I did and it really did help so much! At first it was really hard, I won't lie, but after a few weeks it gets easier and easier. You can do this! Stay strong!!!! I hope this helps.

My mum had a brain aneurysm and 2 strokes in January. Yesterday was the first time I had seen her since then and I had to fight back the tears. It was like she was far away. Her vision was bad so she was very frail and lost, I had to come really close to let her see me and then she touched my face and cried. She remembers bits and bobs, but she was talking about the past, about her days back in her home country . She would say things that happened years ago. She also would tell me to take her home or take her to the toilet (she can’t walk and has a diaper). My heart tore into two when we tried to feed her but she wouldn’t eat. She hasn’t eaten anything except from juice and water. She says it makes her feel sick. Yesterday I saw my mum, but I fear that wasn’t the mum I use to know.

I feel you my boyfriend is 46 he had a massive brain aneurysm an 2major strokes he cant move his right side at all he cant talk much at all now this happen 4-20-2021 he dont remember anything he had left lub removed so I feel what going through it's hard keep head up cause I know this is hard it's hard in me watching my boyfriend wear diaper being feed tube knowing he was once a hard working man it hurts so bad

Remember always, they may be strong and independent as possible, but they still struggle, especially when they are tired or stressed. Patience is the best approach.

Im sorry if I push you away when you offer help, but sometimes I just need to be on my own, or try and keep some control and independence and do it myself.

We think you are ready to live independently.

I have a kid in my class his name is Jesse and he got in a four wheeler accident with his little brother and they got life flighted to the children's hospital and his little brock his back and has a concussion and Jesse just has a concussion. His brother got really hurt and when he seen the blood he passed out Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz send prayers for them both to get better

Praying for your student and his little brother . May our Lord heal both boys in Jesus name!

Life as I knew it was totally destroyed when I suffered my injury. I went from a very independent woman with a successful career in the medical field to someone who couldn't even be a good Walmart greeter. My husband has to go almost everywhere with me or I lose my purse, my keys, my just-purchased packages, my confidence, my drink, even my car! My husband has to tell me when it's time to wash his clothes and even then it can take up to a week for me to complete that simple task. I got a new SUV over a year ago and STILL don't know how to work all the computerized sh!# in it. I have panic attacks just trying to figure out how to adjust heat and a/c, radio, pretty much all of it. I finally have figured out (and remember) how to use the wipers. My life was totally changed. The time since my accident 12 years ago is a blur; I don't have enough memories since October 2009 to fill an entire year's time. My 23-year old daughter is somehow 35 now. I have gone from an extrememly vibrant 49-year old to a old woman of 62 and don't really know how I got here! I turn around and my beloved pets are old and dying. My long-term memory is only a small fraction of what it was before the accident. My short-term memory is almost nonexistent. I now live totally in the moment. My distraction level is off the charts! I find things I had no idea I/we had or where they came from. I don't remember Christmases or Thanksgivings or visits with my daughter who lives over a 1000 miles away. The memories I do have are so vague, I'm never really sure if they're real or of something I dreamt. On the positive side, I don't suffer from major depressive disorder anymore (because things don't stay with me long enough to trigger it). Most of the time I'm stay content with no cares in the world, never-bothered-by-anything (except when something frustrates me and triggers a rage episode from which I recover very quickly). The old me is still in there [my head]--she just can't get out. Ah, life with my traumatic head injury--there is truly never a dull moment. If not for the love, support, devotion and kindness of my dear husband, I don't really know what would become of me.

No real help exists

Your story really touched me as I too went from confidence and independence working in a highly cognitive field to feeling like I could barely work in a checkout. Can I suggest you look into CognitiveFX? Or ask your helpful husband to do so. I'm a satisfied patient - they helped get a lot of my memory abilities back, and my focus. I'm not paid for this or anything - I just found their training programme restored so much of my life that I am now BEGGING fellow sufferers to do themselves a huge favour and check it out. I wish I'd gone to them sooner and started getting my life back earlier! Please look into them, and heal well <3

I was in an accident on May 29, 2014. Every part of my body was broken especially my Brain which was hit twice. I was hospitalized for5 months. They put my Brain in a coma for 2 months I can’t teach anymore or live in my own house. I have had 6 seizures and now I have to take 30 pills a day I don’t want to live anymore. I want to Die I think a lot about suicide

Omg the feeling I got after reading ur message can not be put into words. The 1st question that comes to mind is can u turn it into a positive outcome n why if not?
I've been thru suicidal thoughts n several attempts. I would try to have some fun b4 leaving if I was in too much pain n cudnt take anymore...

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and that you don't feel understood. You may think no one has ever experienced what you’re going through and that no one can help you. I'm here to say that you can get through this.

Have you expressed what you’re struggling with to your family or to a friend? If you’re not comfortable talking with them or feel they're unable to understand, please consider reaching out to one of these confidential resources:

National Suicide Crisis Line (24/7)
1-800-273-8255

When you call you will hear a message that you’ve reached the crisis line, there will be brief hold music while you’re connected. Then a skilled, trained crisis worker who works at the Lifeline network crisis center will answer the phone. This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support, and share any resources that may be helpful.

Crisis Text Line (NAMI)
Text HOME to 741-741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor to talk via text message.

When you text HOME to 741-741 the first two responses are automated. They tell you that you're being connected with a Crisis Counselor, and invite you to share a bit more. It usually takes less than five minutes to connect you with a Crisis Counselor. When you’ve reached a Crisis Counselor, they’ll introduce themselves, reflect on what you’ve said, and invite you to share at your own pace. You’ll then text back and forth with the Crisis Counselor. You never have to share anything you don’t want to.

The hardest part for me is seeing myself in videos. Seeing how my reactions are stronger, more prominent, they look forced yet they are not. I feel people know, I feel they can tell, that they can see the damage to my personality and notice my added edginess around them. I’ve been able to see & hear in myself the difference but I also feel that some of my dearest friends don’t want to make me aware that they have noticed for fear it may alert me to what I do already know. A kind of emotional & mental Cat & Mouse. I don’t want them to know I know, which causes Episodes of heightened anxiety for me, especially when I watch myself in videos. My reactions appear more forced/ overly so. I find it unattractive & feel vulnerable because of the way I feel I come across. The thought of close friends treating me any differently or letting on they can tell I’m different to how I used to be has at times, made me consider suicide.

I found reaching out helped me at least try n speak to someone that went thru the same thing and see what I'm talking about. I hope u find peace but strength mostly so u can kick down that dam door and conquer your life! Much love friend

I’ve felt similar to you. I go over every interaction and break it down analyzing what I said or how I acted and wondered if I sounded “normal.” It has been over 6 years and I still can’t seem to shake this feeling and wonder if I ever will.

Please help me. I’m a single parent caring for my adult adult daughter physically all by myself, and everything financial is coming from my son, and only other child who is the youngest of my 2 adult children. My daughter acquired a severe, DAI TBI and severe short term memory loss and memory secondary injuries related to and unrelated to the fatal car wreck. I hate starting by asking for help describing my daughter’s new deficiencies, but to hear others who are and have suffered brain injuries are able to say what is best said, and ask others not to say say certain things, which I believe is common sense, as I’m not medical, but have always spoke to my daughter with the positive /motivating suggestions include everything that’s listed, plus more. I’ve never degraded her ever.
I would love for my daughter to to give me the answers to any of these questions and be consistent with the answers or comments. There’s not any medical individual who is helping me with this. They are playing guessing games and at my daughters expense. They’ve messed with the medication regimen she was on without notice and that’s where everything negative as far as behavioral issues we’ve never dealt with cane to fruition. It can’t be a coincidence. My daughter was receiving incredible medical help when we live in GA , and for a myriad of reasons I elected to move us to Florida, and all for the benefit of my daughter to give her every opportunity to rehabilitate to the best of her ability. I researched everything I could possibly think of prior to moving to FL and mainly focused on the medical care she would continue to receive just like she was receiving in GA. Not only was I told she would receive this type of care, she would receive additional care, and the waiver programs available to my child exceeded what GA had to offer. But my daughter had to become a resident of FL before any of the above would take place. I was even told because of her medical needs she would literally be placed at the head of the waiver programs as the waiting list are long to get the additional benefits. They were based on the needs of the individuals not who has signed up first. All I could do is take everyone at their word, and didn’t have a second thought after all the research I did in a varied of states to live in where it stayed warm year round. As the weather had a huge impact which was affecting my daughter. Long story short, I relocated my daughter to FL, and established her as a resident immediately. The only thing the took place and was true, my daughter was put on the waiver program almost immediately. But God himself only knows what they do. Because I haven’t seen or received any benefits to help my child that I’m aware of. Her insurance company is denying everything she must have and is fixable. Which my daughter knows is holding her back. She’s wheelchair and bed bound and is transferred via a hoyer and a sling because of her right knee being crushed in the car wreck and was missed by the Neuro ICU and a very notorious rehab facility in Atlanta. We didn’t have a clue about this until it was accidentally caught on the images when my daughter was having a sedated CT to repair her right foot from the original surgery she had on it while induced in a propofol coma while in the Neuro ICU. It would give my child the opportunity to be mobile and with complete flexibility that we all have and would allow her to relearn to walk with a normal gait. This was while we lived in GA. Her right knee had fused itself and was now contorted 40 degrees and another Ortho surgeon came into the room with the Ortho surgeon who was going to repair my child’s right foot and explained the above to me and believed it would need to be completely replaced and my daughter would have the need to have this surgery prior to her foot surgery, as you can’t walk without your knees or big toe. Well my daughter has her big toes! I was upset with it being missed, but boy did it explain a lot of what had been happening up until I found out about her right knee had been crushed this entire time and what my child had accomplished be serious hard worK on her end that were guided by myself, and therapists literally everyday who cane to our home on a daily basis to include her pcp doing the same. We’ve been in FL for almost 2 years and was actually told by a RN who worked with the agency who was supposed to provide CNA and HHA services so I could work to help get the financial issues off of my son (which is a joke not just here, but in GA as well), This RN said,” we all say we provide these services, but it never really happens.” I was dumbfounded to say the least, and didn’t believe her. I reached out to so many different agencies and she was correct! I couldn’t believe it. There’s no way, one person could do everything these therapists did for my daughter while we lived in GA, especially since she isn’t receiving the required medical care and medications she was receiving as well, while living in GA. I’m completely worn out as I don’t have any physical help at home and by the end of the day I’m so exhausted they I go to bed when my daughter does, so when she wakes up in severe pain and the new night terrors she’s now having keep us up for several additional hours. I do what I use to do when my children were babies. You took a nap when they did, so you are alert and ready to go again when they woke up. However, my adult daughter doesn’t take naps. We lived in Brevard County, FL in the zip code 32903. If anyone knows of any resources that I can reach out to so I can get the help I need to help my daughter I would be grateful abd extremely appreciative. I know I can’t leave any personal Infomation on this comment section so I’m not sure how I’m going to receive any reply’s if anyone can provide me with the information I’m trying to obtain. I hate watching my daughter decline at the rapid pace she is, after all the hard work my child had previously done and with a crushed knee is all out the window and is getting worse everyday and has Jed the other issues that we’ve never incountered and I don’t know how to handle or take care of unless I research on the internet and it’s scary when you enlist information off the internet to medically care for your daughter who is depending on you for everything to ensure she survives. Not to mention my 4 grandchildren who are depending on me to do the same. Thanks for listening and FYI..... I haven’t touched the tip of the iceberg of everything my child as endured since this fatal car wreck. Once again, thanks, and I apologize for this information is presented as scattered as it is, but you don’t understand how everything is flooding my mind and I can’t keep it all straight, and my blood boiling at the same time, as I know what my child is capable of achieving with the proper medical care and treatments. Thanks, T

You poor woman. I admire you! God bless you and your daughter. I am recovering now from an acquired brain injury in Feb 2015. It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me in my 57 years of living. I have only had a few things happen to me (burst appendix and back labor twice with Csection and this stroke apparently caused by a surgeon after an aneurysm. I had to learn to talk and eat and drink and I still cannot walk on my own. I have very little filter. I had my whole college paid for. I started a successful business that grossed a quarter of a million dollars a year and now I cannot own anything ever again. I also have epilepsy and recurring UTIs. Life is still worth living though. My husband is my guardian. My sister and brother and their families and my adult kids are all wonderful and very supportive. This Covid 19 thing is very hateful. I don’t hate anyone except it and it’s not a person. But anyway, you are doing a wonderful job my dear and I really mean that! Don’t let anyone bring you down! God bless you! And if you don’t believe in Him, don’t worry, He believes in you! I do too! Tell your daughter hello. Tell her I broke my knee also and it was fractured for about 25 to 30 years and I limped and groaned and went to physical therapy in my late 40s or early 50s and finally discovered the fracture. It feels so much better now. Just knowing helped. Now this stroke affected my right side where my knee was broken and it brought back all the pain. Tylenol doesn’t do much but that’s okay because it’s only pain and I can get through that I know. Anyway, I am making it out that I am braver than I really am. I am not that brave. But you definitely are! God bless you!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Be of good cheer!

The loveliest thing said to me yesterday on the phone was
*It's like talking to the old Maria*. It made me very. Two years after my tbi

This is what I say to others and what I wish people would say to me. "That sucks. I have nothing intelligent that I can or say because I have never been where you are. But I am here for whatever you need"

Actually, I find most of these statements to be the WORST things to say the tbi survivors. At large, they are belittling and treat the survivor as a child and/or invalid. (I am a tbi survivor - a pedestrian in a car crash 13 years ago.) I do like a few of the statements, like Melody's - good friends and loved ones should always learn more about the lasting effects of tbi (though not assume the effects are "one size fits all").

Ditto

I know it is really hard for you now and I think you are doing a fantastic job.

I love and accept you just the way you are..i am always here if you need me to talk cry or for help☺ annette .s

You can take all the time you need too, we’re not in a rush. You did an amazing job!!

After many brain ops..two untreated aneurysms..shunt...cancer OP and many scars both inside and outside I am treated like retard..bullied..by so called help social services...if i was a dog..

I am so sorry people treat you like your stupid after all you have been through! And by the people that should be HELPING. So, shameful. The number one thing that does NOT happen to my grandson and will not be tolerated but thank you for the reminder.
Everyone needs a strong advocate that cares about them and listens.....
Stay STRONG
TBI suffers are NOT retarded people!!!!

I have to say I 1,000% agree with this. We who have suffered ABI/TBI's are not retarded, I luckily have an amazing support system (mom, BF, family, friends, etc.) who try their hardest to understand my situation even though they cannot.

I cannot understand all you have experienced but I love you, support you, will comfort you and be there for you as I can. That's what I would like to hear more of!
Not all of this of what can you do for me? Why can't you do what you used too? Why aren't you the same anymore? Why must you not help me anymore?
Well excuse me apparently I wasted and misplaced the best of my good health on the wrong people - didn't I?
That's what it feels like when trying to explain to others who have no desire to comprehend. It is pointless to talk and speak to them and they simply do not deserve conversation. It works by accepting who one is and the limitations they have. Knowing the safe boundaries and letting others learn the hard way as their medical health evolves also. At least we learn. We accept. We cope. We thrive. We survive. We learn humanity. And sadly many never do until it also too late for them!

How about the truth speaking from my experience with TBI i was lied to about having a brain injury for 22 years and yes knowing the truth is difficult but it necessary for recovery

I think that having been so independent and bright, people forget that I may no longer be quite up to that level anymore. It would be so nice to know your accepted for who you are now, not who they remember you to be. You see, some of us with TBI may remember how we were and are reminded every second of the day that we are no longer that way and fight to accept that for ourselves and support would be so welcomed.

Indeed. I am 2 years post-TBI. Every day I am reminded by family of my related deficits in some way. I bothers me. I feel like my only cheerleader when I remember where I put something. :|

I had a TBI and at the worst it was a emotional roller coaster ride and of course it's a cross between forgetful dementia and alzheimers combined with doing things out of order. Now for the most part I'm pretty good upstairs the odd thing is off in spelling short term memory at times but can live with how Iam now. My wife is in very early stage of Alzheimer and I tell you with having a concussion its helped me with her for understanding and patience with forgetfulness confusion how she has difficulty keeping up with conversations looses focus because I went through it and recovered not perfect but pretty good. Sometimes people have no common sense they dont understand that you are alive functional but operating on well an old dial up computer from the ninetys and it gets tired easy but it still works just a little different your not on high speed internet. You know when I was at physio I saw people with vertebrae in there back made of cement material cause cancer had eaten it so always remember you wake up on this side of the sod it's a good day.

This is so true I’m reminded everyday of my deficits

I have a complex TBI situation, complicated by 20 years of amnesia and misdiagnosis. I had a nervous breakdown. I was without any support and over 60. But I am the only person who can own my reality. I have fought to get the help I needed. No, I won't EVER be who I once was. But I did get cognitive therapy. I got help anywhere I could find it. I still do. I have to. What I can do now after 5 or 6 years of KNOWING and owning this is amazing... sometimes. I have a great TBI therapist and a few friendships. I have 2 doctors that are good. What makes them good is they HEAR me. They know me and see who I was and how far I have come. I WORK at everything I have trouble with, which is pretty much everything sometimes. But that is my responsibility. FATIGUE is my greatest enemy. I want to work harder at problems when what I need is rest. I have helpers who remind me to eat, to not forget meds, to make myself a priority and accept myself as I am. I have been on a long upward path but I overextended myself and crashed after a year and half of progress. I was afraid. Maybe I wouldn't ever get consistently better. But I will. I can. I am back rereading everything and making sure I take care of me. I don't like getting frustrated and angry, but I do recently. "It's the past. Let it go." Or " you're so intelligent but that was a silly thing to say, think, do....". Yes, I can do somethings fairly well. But some parts of my brain are so broken that no matter how hard I work on them, they will never be more than 5 years old, if I am lucky. That said, I WILL NEVER QUIT WORKING MY BRAIN TO GROW. It does. I don't necessarily get to control how or where or when. I do get to CHOOSE to do my best and use every technique and tool I have learned to improve. I do use adaptations, too. I USE EVERYTHING I CAN FIND. What I don't do, is let people manipulate me or disrespect me, or try to make me a good handicapped person. I am a person in process. AND IF I CAN DO THIS, I believe anyone can improve their situation with help. And quite frankly, anyone that is bad for my mental health, is bad for me. I don't have to meet any unrealistic expectations. I simply need to be the best ME I can be. So can YOU! We do need more resources, especially as adults. But we can do more than we think. Let people help you and encourage you. Jettison those who don't. Believe IN YOURSELF! And may you all, those withTBI and those really trying to help you, find the guiding light that is just right FOR YOU!

Thank you for this. Very encouraging. (I am my husband’s caregiver and you have shared some great insight)

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