The Value of Therapy
[Nicole Wight] I was totally against going to therapy for many, many years, and I just don't think that I was open to doing it at the time that I probably should have been. I was very wrapped up in what was going on with the kids, what was going on with my husband, and being okay, we're a military family. We got this, we got that, we got a million things going on. I just didn't have time to think about my process. Even when we came back with Michael in December, I came back to a house with a bunch of people in it who had already kind of gotten through the first 3 stages of grief over my mom. I come in here, and I'm like why is all her stuff moved? Where are all of her clothes? I was a mess. I couldn't even breathe here. It was just like oh, welcome home. Now you got to vacuum and make dinner for all of us. You can't wrap your head around it, but I wasn't ready to talk to anyone about it. I think my biggest fear was that if I started talking about it I wasn't going to be able to stop myself from completely breaking into pieces. I knew I had too much to lose if that happened, but eventually it became that my husband got orders, and all of it started to come back to the surface. It's that whole stuff that I should have dealt with 6-½ years ago and didn't. It comes right back to bite you. You do have to go—when it's like okay, we got to move, you start going through the things you that should have gone through and her clothes and her things that you inherited. It's really tough, and it takes a lot out of you emotionally. I decided that the best thing for my family and the best thing for me was that if I was going to move, and I was going to leave all this behind once and for all, then I needed to do it the right way. I started going to see a therapist just like my kids do every Friday and have been for 4 years. It's okay for them, but it wasn't for me at the time. She gives me lots of tips and tricks, useful tools that I have to use and consciously think about 24/7 what I'm doing, what I'm saying, how I'm reacting and finally allowing myself to grieve over losing my mom and over losing the children that I had. It's tough. It's tough to have to relive it all again, but I keep telling myself that this is going to be the last time that I have to do it. This is the last time I have to let all this out because as it's coming out it's out for good. I don't have to put it back. I don't have to carry it anymore.
For Nicole Wight, it took a long time to get herself in therapy but she needed help to grieve the loss of her mother and the loss of who her children once were.
View more videos with Nicole Wight.
Posted on BrainLine November 15, 2013
Produced by Christian Lindstrom, Justin Rhodes, and Amy Joseph, BrainLine.