What Happens to Relationships After Brain Injury?

From the National Resource Center for Traumatic Brain Injury
What Happens to Relationships After Brain Injury?

Many survivors and family members describe changes in their relationships after the injury. They may not hear much from friends, co-workers, and extended family members. Others notice that their phone calls, emails, and letters are left unanswered. Some survivors find themselves feeling alone even when they spend much of their time with family members or friends. Here are some of the things people say about their relationships after brain injury. Do any of these statements sound like things you have said?

  • I can't relate to other people. It's easier to be by myself.
  • What happened to all the friends who came to visit me in the hospital?
  • Other people don't want to be around me.
  • People seem to avoid me.
  • My wife threatens to leave me at least twice a week.
  • I wonder why no one returns my calls.
  • It seems like everyone at work has lost my phone number.
  • I haven't talked to anyone in weeks.
  • Nobody cares about me.
  • I don't have any friends.
  • Seems like nobody wants to talk to me.
  • Nobody has any idea what I am going through. They don't understand me.

Why people feel lonely even when around family members or friends?

After injury, many survivors describe feeling lonely — even when they are surrounded by other people. This loneliness may arise for many different reasons.

  • Difficulty talking to other people or understanding what others are saying are common problems survivors face after injury. Communication problems can make relating to other people and explaining your thoughts and feelings very difficult. These problems can lead to feeling misunderstood and isolated.
  • Many survivors feel self-conscious after their injuries. They may worry about being different or less capable than other people. Self-consciousness can make it harder to spend time with other people or seek out new relationships.
  • After injury, many survivors worry about what others will think of them and may feel nervous about being around other people. They may be afraid of being hurt or rejected by other people.
  • Many survivors notice they are more irritable after their injuries. When irritated, they may say or do things they regret later on. Some survivors try to stay away from those they care about for fear of behaving poorly. Family and friends may also avoid you if they are worried about what you might say or do.
  • Fatigue and low energy are common problems after brain injury. Survivors may not have the energy to do things they used to enjoy or to spend time with friends and family. Family and friends may also worry about tiring you out when they invite you to do something.
  • Pain and other physical problems often make it harder for survivors to do things they used to enjoy. You may also have trouble leaving the house, traveling, or visiting other people. Injury-related limitations make it harder to nurture and build relationships.
  • Many survivors are not able to drive or work after their injury. Lack of transportation and money may make it hard to visit others or do things you enjoy.
  • People generally make friends through work or being involved in social or recreational activities. After injury, survivors often stop working and may not be involved in sports, church, and other activities. You may lose contact with friends and co-workers because you don't see them as much.
  • Friends and family may feel uncomfortable because they don't know what to say, how to act, or how to help. Discomfort may make it harder for them to relate to you or spend time with you. Help them out by letting them know about your positive and negative feelings and what they can do to help you.
Posted on BrainLine November 4, 2008. Reviewed July 25, 2018.

From the National Resource Center for Traumatic Brain Injury, Virginia Commonwealth Model Systems of Care. Chapter reprinted with permission from the NRC TBI publication, Recovering Relationships After Brain Injury: The Essential Guide for Survivors and Family Members.

Comments (221)

Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.

I have noticed since my last brain surgery for my hydrocephalus my moods have been affected. I am more short tempered. My employer I feel is treating me different since I had my surgery. I used to love my job but have now got to the point where I dread going into work. Things got so bad I actually banged my head off the wall at work a few times.

Hi, my name is chad L. after reading this page and seeing all the people struggling with tbi, and seeing me struggling with the same issues, mainly relationship issues, my girlfriend i dont think understands the whole TBI. i try to send her stuff on it im not sure if she really reads it or what, but i know that maybe she will see if she just reads this whole page! maybe she will see how hard she is making it on me! i was in a coma for 8 days life support, really lucky to be alive of course thanks to God. but i had to re learn everything, walk, talk, eat, ect. now the first couple years after the accident are kind of fuzzy, most due to the injury, but eventually i did turn to alcohol for my answers, survivor guilt i guess is what they call it! well ended up just throwing my life away, went to prison at 18 got out at 23, i went to different times, but thats irrelevant, now i went to rehabs, in different states,  am from arizona! really but i just went right back to prison the second time, now ive been out for almost a year! which to me is so great, but really i can do so much, im very blessed the injury you cant see so much when you look at me or not really even talk to me! i have read and seen some terrible stuff for people with TBI. and im very blessed, but her is my problem, sorry it took so long, my girlfriend, she tells me like alot like 2 times week, maybe more, that she dont love me, im not her best friend! never going to be her husband! its ok i should be able to tell its a lie, beacuse she always commes back, but part of my brain, when i say ohhh she loves you she will come bacl, well there is a part man she tell you everyday how she isnt happy that your crazy, your mind is crazy! but to me, she doesnt even try to read about it or help, just expects, and you know thats good! i should be able to do anything i have God! but i just am looking for some answers, beaucse she i dont think is! she just wants me to change over night! and yes i guess it could be done! but really this injury is crazy, its hard to understand, what it does to some people it doesnt to to the other person! many problems in feeling alone, befre i went to prison even when i was in home with family it was different, i feel like everyone that knew me, looks and treats me different! the hardest part of this whol injury, was coming home and hearing from my whole family how much i had changed, how different i was, it shouldnt matter right? what anyone else thinks, not my family not any old friends, but it played a big factor in my life and my choices, for this reason, i blame going to prison on the injury, i couldnt accept the fact that i was different, i just drank and thought since i been through so much at such a young age, the world owed me something, but really so many people go through so much more. just its God's will for eah person, now idk why but its what is suppose to be, did i get mad that a friend died in my car i had to be the one walking around school, and everyone saying thats the guy, felt horrible, but i let it destroy me! i have now like i said been out of prison, for almost a year, i actually got my first job, and even though i am on probation i was so happy, i still am happy yes of course, but i have had a couple relapses, about 3 actually, the 3rd one was really bad, really bad. but its ok. i got through it now i just have to get through the rest of my life with nothing, which should not actually which will not be a problem, this relationship though is really hard on me she is in another country but i really truly love her, and  i feel the same, just my biggest problem, is maybe she dont read none of the things i send her it doesnt seem like it, but maybe she doesnt understand its a life long injury, and im not going to need her to walk me around holding my hand, but sometimes i am going to need her help! really i need it sometimes! but i guess i its not her God has another angel to look after and help me, or maybe just my mom, but really just wish she would read and try just try to understand, that is all thank you! 

I am 25 years old and 2 years ago my partner who i've grown up with had a bike accident. He hasn't been the same since, he has been physically and mentally abusive and has done some really horrible things, the physical aspect is becoming less although when arguing in the kitchen he has recently picked up knifes!! But much more then the physical he is so negative minded, if i suggest anything or show him things he comments negatively no matter how offensive! He is always on the defensive. Its hard for me because other people don't notice the difference or if they do they ignore it! No one understands what goes on behind closed doors and to what extent things actually get to! I know that it's nobodys fault but yet I cant see myself living like this for much longer! I love him so much but I am becoming depressed, we used to be best friends but I am starting to resent him! I just wish things could go back to the way they were!

As I read every ones postings it is as if I am reading a little about myself in each one. The same but different. Every TBI is different and has different levels of outcomes but at the same time are very similar. It has been five years since I too was rear ended by a 'distracted' driver at a speed somewhere between 50 and 60 mph. No way to know for sure because he never hit his brakes as I sat at a traffic light. ( for you math enthusiast he was going 88 ft per second per second with a 6000 lb vehicle, Ouch!) The ER doctors never considered a TBI and did not refer me to a neurologists. I actually had physical brain damage and now face a life with Epilepsy.  I know that I should not yell at my wife when I 'lose it' but like everyone else that is easier said than done. My emotions are all over the place due to those brain injuries and the AEDs I have to take to to control the seizures. I did not know I had PTSD until I was told so by a doctor 5 years post injury! I too lost my career which I loved, my high salary income, ( I loved that too) my friends, my sports, I can't drive anymore and that is hard to deal with. I am chained to my house until my wife can be here to drive me to from doctor appointments. Love ones, talk to your injured spouse about how they hurt you emotionally when you act out or say hurtful things you don;t really mean. Don't let it build up to a "I can't take this anymore" moment.  I have watched my wife change over these past 5 years and it is because of me, my actions.   I am just now realizing this!! We are finally seeing a neuropsychological therapist together to 'work' on my/ our many issues due to the TBI. I am still in mourning for the person I /we lost that moment in time I wish I had back. But had I not been there at that spot at the exact time a 25 year old man would have been killed. With that knowledge even if I could travel back in time I could not bring myself to save myself nor live with myself.  We have been married 47 years and I don't want to lose what we have worked so hard to accomplish.  The chronic pain from all of the body injures add to this problem of along with Chronic Insomnia, hearing and eyesight problems, speech and language and cognitive deficits just like everyone else suffers from. When you write all of this down on paper and look at it you say dang that guy is messed up! Yes but I still have my sense of humor. You and I must always keep that as it is one our the best medicines.  But I have to refuse to let all of my problems ruin my/our lives. Easy said but it has helped me through this and I hope it can help at least one of you.  OK now, Visualize a stork next to a pond with a frog in his mouth he is trying to swallow whose head you cannot see. BUT the frog has both of this hands around the storks throat and is choking the stork. The caption reads, "NEVER GIVE UP". Thank all of you for sharing your stories as they help me know that I am not alone in this struggle to be normal again. One Last Thing. What saved my life that day was simple. I always stop a full length of my vehicle behind the stopped vehicle in front of me, ALWAYS! I teach everyone this same lesson. Pass it on!   God Bless. TRN

My husband has a brain injury after bacterial meningitis ... Yes it's lonely... Everything has changed... Everything. Sometimes I wonder if there is any relief. He is a lot older than me.... I use to love that...but now I see him aging and I see the long road ahead. I think it's important to take stock of what's happened.... I am a full time carer for him and I love him.... But sometimes like tonight and I just keep crying... Because its hard and lonely. As I say to others 'never mind' it is what it is

My marriage has suffered as a result of my concussion :(

It is nearly ten years since I survived my cerebral haemorrhage. The comments/narratives in this forum conveys the sometimes overwhelming challenges of attempting to thrive instead of just surviving/existing with an acquired brain injury.

Since 2006, my life working as an Occupational Therapist ceased. Am still grieving the loss of work role, loss of friends, loss of self, loss of meaningful living. No-one can really understand until they have endured the experience. Not to be recommended.

Your story amazed me!!! I've had a car wreck an broke neck broke pelvis and broke arm with rod in it .. Eye injury ( very self conscious about .. I wear colored contacts to cover injury ) and right side head injury , coma ... All that too ... Very traumatizing! I'm bipolar now went through 3 divorces ... Used to be a hairdresser for Regis Co. Now I can't even stand to work with the pain an aggravation... Your story Helped! Thanks!

After my accident in 2014 I made a miracle recovery, from a broken back to a massive head injury, TBI & suffered a DAI. I spent all but 4 months in hospital & rehabilitation with some amazing people. Lots of people helped make my recovery what it was, and saved many aspects of my life. Fast forward over a year since it happened, back to work since August '14, moved house, but yes definitely agree with the losses, lost my girlfriend who did so much & I love dearly, friends don't bother, family do, but I do find all sorts frustrating as simply I lost 2-5 years memory and my time out, things are different and all new.... But. You need to pick yourself up and get a grip - the fact you are alive is amazing, talk to people, yeah I apologise loads but getting less, talking about what happened loads less, been going to the gym 3 times a week for 3 months now - it helps, trust me.... Make yourself feel better by giving yourself hope, we are bought into this world alone and will leave the same way, I've survived something millions won't, so although devastated that my partner left - I wish her well, yet miss her every minute of every day. If you are down enough to consider suicide, then simply think long and hard about how blessed you are to be here in any capacity - someone will be shocked and upset by losing you, and you should cherish every single thing your eyes are blessed to view. The replies on here don't make anyone feel any better, be it the injured person or the loved ones, just think you should be strong enough to be alone - either way - and tomorrow is another day!! So many strangers spent their time to help me survive - if nothing o owe it to those amazing people that I live as well and long as possible. Talk. Smile. Be happy, stop looking back, start looking forward, I know it's hard, cos I'm living it to, yes things could be better but my god could be so much worse!! I believe more than ever, what will be will certainly be - and the one thing that mainly crucifies me, I believe it was meant to be and hopefully will be - but if not, life's already mapped out so something equally as good may be just around the corner..... Live. Love. Good luck everyone:)

I am a tbi susrvivor of 12 1/2 yrs. and thank you for posting the positives we can choose to take from this situation of many problems .... I struggle all of the time and not even sure my family is even aware of these - as all of you have- i do also and so badly want to conquer them but am no so naive to believe they will go away and i just have to choose to keep on trying and be as aware of things as possible .... i try to pay attention to the things that i do and say that i regret and try to be more careful but that does not always work but i won't give up b/c i choose also to believe there is a bigger picture that God has planned for my life .... i am first time sharing and didn't say much about my tbi v/c it is such a long story - just wanted to thank you for sharing a positive note on what we can try to do about our lives with faith and hope .... thank you all and GOD BLESS !

There is hope. And there are things you can do which will greatly improve your quality of life.  I had a massive stroke and fell from a very wealthy position in my life to absolute poverty.  I lost it all.  Friends, career, the BMW, the house, much of my belongings and my ability to fly a plane.   But I took several actions which greatly improved my life.  Downsize, downsize, downsize.  The one thing a brain injury can do for you is make you realize how unnecessary many material things may be.  I sold off almost everything and put myself in an apartment.  I lessened every responsibility I could and let the bills fall where they may.  I prioritized the few responsibilities I could handle.  Rent, utilities and cable.   Acquire the best coach and lazy boy you can find.  Buy a superb TV, hang on to your internet connection, get an Obama phone and relax.  I use Facebook to stay in touch and it is just as good as calling on the phone which I quit doing also.  Life is good. Don't worry about it.  Get out occasionally and otherwise, chill.

I Have Tried To Have RelationshipS, After My Head Injury, To Find Myself Not Understanding,Irritable, And Just Difficult. Who Wants To Be Around That. I Have Found That I Have Even Becoming Controlling, Depressed, Suicidal, And Hate Myself. Its Been 4 Yrs Since My Accident. I Can't Cope With Any Stress. Not Sure If I Will Ever Be Able To Sustain A Normal Relationship.

im not sure many people would agree with this but a relationship after a TBI sucked for me at least, i dont have many friends most of my friends are female and disabled and older than me i kind of like that though in some sort of way

im 7 years in and have lost everything my life my family and my wife heading to divorce soon and then a nursing home oh yippy what a life 

My TBI happened, I was almost 9 & was going to a really small town school. Less than 1/2 a year after my accident, I returned to my 3rd grade classroom &..... Long story short, everyone at school had to learn to live with it because A) I wasn't goin' anywhere & B) The school wouldn't get rid of me at the cost of losing state aid. My oldest niece was born 8 months and 10 days before my car accident so, she didn't know pre-injury Aunt Gerty. Now, I have 5 more nieces + a nephew who never knew me before my TBI, I think I was able to connect with the kids better as they were growing up b/c I was re-learning some of the basics at the same time they were learning the same thing the first time through

I have a tbi and I am 19 and at UK, do NOT get embarrassed or annoyed or angry with people who have traumatic brain injuries. We can't help it, plus we almost died. My family is embarrassed of me often because I say things that aren't appropriate. My wreck made me change, and I hate who I am now, but can't help it.


My husband suffered a TBI in Feb of 2015. This has been a nightmare. I was reading some of the comments and can relate totally. I do everything for this man, who I love and he has no idea how much I am doing. He don't appreciate it, nor does he even understand. My son is suffering so bad. Our lives are totally changed. We went from a loving family, who did everything together, to living a complete nightmare. My son was so close to his dad. All the plans they had of things they were going to do, are all gone. This is so hard for me deal with. I now, am his nurse. Who he treats like crap. He is angry, defiant, and mean at times. He has pain all over his body and he feels terrible about himself. He is inappropriate at times and i fear if someone is in our company what he will say or do. I too have be doing this all on my own. This is the hardest thing i have ever gone through in my life, without a doubt. The emotional part is devastating. If anyone needs to talk, you can email me at buckycarlo@yahoo.com. Getting support is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Good luck to everyone and God Bless. Mary

Relationships after brain injury? I am more than 25 years into being a survivor of TBI. I had multiple brain injuries but one was the big one that caused years of frustration, sadness, mania maybe due to docs acting in good faith but treating the wrong thing. For this, i am not angry at doctors just very disappointed. I'm more angry that I lost my life in the brain injury and i remember when I woke up, the nurse sounded so happy and ran to get a doctor, but most days I wish that I had never woken up. Well-meaning people point to me in pictures when I look happy and say "see, you were happy here, but to me I do not recognize self in these pics; it as if I were putting on a show just so people will pass over me and not ask so many questions. The biggest thing tha caused me problem was that I could not gauge sarcasm.and still struggle in this area. And if topics are changed suddenly, i feel like a real phony. I feel delayed in keeping with the shift. I feel as if i were playing along only to not look dumb. The hardest part for me has been knowing how many people I let down and how many hearts I have hurt. I am in constant grief. I wake-up almost daily grieving what might have been if I were never injured. Another difficult area is that I have been told that I look well and seem "smarter". I have been told numerous times that I have high IQ. I also look good.  well, not so much anymore and actually in a strange way I want to look bad. you see I have the ability or had had the ability to attract many people. But this later end in sudden break-ups and I have little "feeling memory". I could tell you facts about what happened or what was said, in fact, this part of my memory has seemed to improve, well, not so much now as I am approaching old age and have much of the normal memory issues. I remember much about my mother's funeral, but felt i experienced nothing emotionally and this was not because of some sort of denial or psychological defense. I am on my way to get married in the near future but I feel my future spouse is very frustrated with me. Sometimes, i think she may be embarrassed by me and her family seem very distant from me. People tell me a lot that I just don't add up and i can feel their frustration but I do not process what this means to them. The fatigue was the worse part for the first year. I spent most of it just staring at the ceiling. Doctors treated my "depression" which was not an untruth because I was in major depression. I enjoyed nothing. I never looked again at a "ski" magazine and I had been so into skiing. I remember going once after my injury and I could actually ski well, but I had no passion anymore for the sport. I faked a passion because because I knew that it should have been there. I "acted out" very few times and when I did I felt great remorse..It was probably because I was a peaceful person before, but I did not become a yeller and most people felt that I was very easy to be around until I acted "pensive" or said something very inappropriate. Many time i would just repeat something that I just heard or read and people thought they were my feelings. I think here is where we arrive at the the biggest problem. Poor mutual understanding which leads to arguments or fights that should never have taken place. .But most people said it was that I became isolated and they missed me or felt rejected. The anti-depressants helped me to work again and I ended up working in my profession, but I was oblivious to the office games and as a result usually passed over or dismissed in some way even though I had good evaluations. The problem with TBI and PTSD is that they are not well understood by the general public- not even doctors understand and another big problem is that I think people understood/understand and then find out that they didn't or do not. My religious friends who I respect, think that it is a result of a sinful life style.  My brother who has strong faith sees it all as being spiritual. This makes me want to avoid him and this makes him think that I am rejecting his faith. I decided to be born again for two reason- one I knew that I did live a sinful life style and was remorseful and needed to repent regardless of reasons for my misbehaviors and I feel that there is a god  and two because I wanted to fit in more and be accepted by society. But getting accepted by society has not happened and it may never happen. This saddens me on many frints. One is that I have many gifts that are going wasted. And two I find life meaningless without being able to serve others. It is safe to say that I wish that I never woke  in Dec. of 1991. I like the person who wrote that pity is feeling sorry for one's predicament and empathy is taking action. I have learned this on a deep level; thus,  i am very good at "acting" upon other's problems, but when their problem is over and they do not need me, they usually find me as being socially a problem to have around. Who has understood? Usually a combat vet or someone from a developing country or a child or a very old person. An example would be my daughter's older sister who was about 8 years and and she cried in hysteric fashion after seeing the movie "I Am Sam" about a mentally challenged adult. I asked without a clue, why she was crying so much and she said because I was like Sam and that made her sad. And ironically, the "uneducated" accept me more.So getting old and less physically appealing and having memory problems and mood changes is much easier as I can more and more blame it on age. I wish that I never saw a doctor.

I met a man online who had a massive hemmhorragic..hemhh...augh!!! (am I spelling that right?) stroke.  He had a stroke.  OK.  So!  He's in a chair and has speech problems, left side weakness, right side atrophy, whole nine-yards.  I didn't know the extent until I met him face-to-face.  Day 1:  I bawled like a baby.  I didn't know what to expect.  Well, yesterday was our 1-month anniversary.  There's a lot of stuff in between there; major stigma and judgment.  Hell, the facility he lives in won't even let us hang out without supervision.  They all think I'm trying to take advantage of a man in a wheelchair with a TBI that can't think for himself.  Jokes on them, because he's way more intelligent than most of them put together.  His insight?  Unsurpassed.  And when he told me the other day, "They need to understand I'm injured, not f.ing stupid" I knew he was the man for me.   

I am an occupational therapist and have worked on a Brain Injury Team for inpatient Rehabilitation and for outpatient therapy.  I also am involved personally with a young friend, now 19 years old, who had a brain injury when she was around 12 years old. She is dealing with a lot of relationship problems and some difficult barriers transitioning to independent adulthood.  I was just reading through the comments from this article and noticed many struggles expressed, but not a lot of answers.  I do recommend cognitive evaluations by a neuropsychologist to help you understand changes in the way you process information.  I also recommend seeking out a brain injury support group to find resources for counseling by appropriately skilled therapists regarding relationships and changed roles and responsibilities.  A support group also is a good resource to realize you are not alone, and you are not crazy.  This is helpful for the person with the brain injury and the caregivers/loved ones.  Personality, communication skills, information processing, ability to accurately evaluate yourself all are apt to have changes after a brain injury.  Understanding yourself and your loved ones is so helpful.  Be patient with yourselves and your loved ones- both as one with TBI and family/friends/caregivers.  Seek out support.  This is a hard road to travel alone, but with support and skilled resources, can turn into a beautiful journey together.  


my wife suffered cardiac arrest seven days after our second child was born, i saved her life. although she survived she suffered brain injuries after having back to back seizures for three consecutive days (one after the other every minute) must have had close to 3000 seizures in a row until they finally subsided.  her memory is shot, college education is gone, never talks about her past life friends, family, etc., and to top it off she has no motivation for anything. its been THREE years now.  i am still here but barely hanging on. my kids are suffering thru this to as my wife is not able to be a Mom to our kids. she cant take care of herself either.  thru all of my sacrifices, she still is combative harsh and abrasive with me. it hurts. after all of this time, she doesnt know what i have done for her. i am sad and wanting to go. this isnt how our lives were supposed to be. i want my kids away from the crazy talk and abrasive combative behavior, but i dont want to take them from their mom.  i dont think its fair that i might have to take us out of here to protect the kids well being and self esteem etc...i know i have to do whats best for us, i am just hanging on thinking that she will come around, but when???? will she come around? i dont know? is this chance worth it? i dont think anything will change, just maybe over time she will chill out hopefully. i just want my kids to be happy first and foremost.  life is cruel. oh yeah, i get no help from anyone too. no one calls us ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband incurred multiple traumatic brain injuries while serving our country in Iraq. The long term effects are very noticeable. He is a sweet loving and sensitive person. However his memory is shot. He cannot tolerate crowds people Loud noises and the cognitive confusion along with migraine headaches can be unbearable on certain days. His massive injuries were a result of 5 different explosions. The final one was caused by an ied that blew up his armored vehicle. That was 8 years ago and he is permanently disabled due to the long term effects. He cannot work and completing menial tasks at home is often difficult. He helps with the kids and he can drive. But the suffering he endures daily is really sad. We are in our thirties and I won't leave him. For better or worse. But I must admit. Some days are worse than others.

My husband had an accident in 2012, he suffered major body trauma and head injury. A concussion, they said. They said it would heal in time, it was not serious they said,  but they did not say that we should watch for these changes: Inability to concentrate. Memory issues. Anger issuse. Headaches over two years later. Inability to be around crowds, noise, etc. Anxiety issues. Risky behavior such as drinking which he rarely did before. He says things now that contradict themselves. Has trouble remembering conversations and what was said. They did not tell us this might happen that it might cost us our marriage. He asked me for a divorce last week. Why? Because I know the man he used to be, and he is not that man anymore. He feels he needs to reinvent himself as the man he is now. He has not accepted himself as he is, even though his family has. He admits that this is him, not me or our family, he still loves me/us...All of this tracks back to that horrible day.... WTH? 

I was in a car accident March 2012 which took my husband's life & I was in a coma about 3 weeks head injury, broken bones crushed feet permanent nerve damage but was told no brain damage but I'm beginning to wonder if I really do have brain damage, I can't remember some things I don't have friends my kids rarely talk to me & I dated a man for about a year which took a bad turn & I don't know why but now I don'tgo aanywhere or trust anyone because I fell for this guy who claimed he loved me even talked marriage then dumped me, is it possible I do have brain damage? Or was he just looking for the money or am I just desperate because of feeling lonely? I've been so hurt mentally & physically that I want to die, I don't feel like I belong in this world. I really believe I do have brain damage. How do I know for sure? Looking for help, please?

I am a man who has fallen in love with such a wonderful woman with a TBI. I am trying so hard to understand and adjust to her condition. I make her soup when she is sick, I massage her feet with oils. I write her love letters and bring her flowers to bring some joy into her life. I have some familiarity with this because I was married to a woman previously who had moderate ADHD. We were together for almost 40 years. I am trying so hard to be loving and patient with this woman but perhaps I am too sensitive. One day she calls, then I don't hear from her for days. When we are together, she is always rushed and need to do many erranda. I certainly feel the love she has for me but she is reticent to express it, admit it to herself, and to me. Love is a two way street and I also need the emotional feedback of a loving relationship. I patiently wait but how long can I wait? I have offered to meet with her therapist to better learn more about how I may adjust to her condition, and how to bring us closer together. I have to admit, many days I am quite sad about this but loving her will keep me hanging on. I will not run away from this. I wish I could talk to someone as I feel quite alone as she mustwith her TBI.

I was having seizures after weekly benzo benges and seizures when I was out of the drug. 2 years, 20 siezures, and who knows how many concussions later I have finally got off the benzo and the siezures have subsided. Head aches never go away and I hardly can leave my bed. Also I am a very angry person n9w, which I never used to be. I need a reason to keep going. If I didn't have my faith I would have pulled a Robin Williams by now.

I had no idea that forums like this existed. I was previously in a severe car accident when a drunk driver smashed into my car going over 100mph in a 40. My car veered to the right and smashed into a tree and flipped. Ever since then, (which was 5 months ago) my life completely changed for the worse. I have had severe lumbar back pain and my PTSD has shot through the roof. My life has changed for the worse. I was starting a business and I completely forgot most of the information I needed for graphic design and I constantly get nervous over everything. I'm always irritable for no reason and I can't control it. I met with a neuropsychologist who said I have mild brain injury and I just broke down and cried. I feel absolutely alone and no one has any idea of what I'm going through. People think I constantly forget things and I'm annoying. I do my best to improve but I'm constantly insulted day in and day out and I have no one to turn to. Luckily my parents have been there for me from day one but I have absolutely no social life and I'm horrified of when someone drives up behind me and I freak out. It's awful. I'm sorry that you are all going through the same thing but I'm relived I'm not going through this alone. I fear that within a year i'll be completely alone physically and mentally. No one wants to be around me anymore. I feel absolutely helpless. 

been almost 5 years now... I have severe TBI... everyone deserts you - your left all on your own to try and figure out how to live...  hard - what's point... nobody to share anything with... just jump from from place to another - cry every day - can't sleep - can't eat - no medicine works....  just overwelming - no reason to try

I am thankful for all of your stories on here. I sustained a traumatic head injury in an automobile crash 19 years ago. At the time, I was deemed "lucky to be alive", although I have questioned that at times over the past 19 years. I saw a neurologist for a few years after my injury but haven't seen a neurologist in about 10 years now. Since my accident, I have been married twice and divorced twice. While I love people, I struggle with relationships when they get to a certain point. I have spent years beating myself up and have endured a great deal of depression and emotional set backs. I am a fighter and hate to admit defeat, but have over the past few years begun to realize that my "issues" are a little deeper than most. Afraid of being told I'm bipolar or some other diagnosis, lack of insurance, buried in debt and with two ex wives that would prefer me dead, I have not bothered to seek help. I have never had any thoughts of hurting myself or anything on that level, but I desperately wish there was someone who could just understand how it felt and not ask me "what the hell is wrong with you?". I met a woman this morning in her 70's that shared the story of her husbands brain injury that happened around the same time as mine but a lot worse. I opened up some to her and she encouraged me to seek out some support. It has made my day just to know I am not as alone as I have felt, and I am going to seek out a local support group. Thanks again to everybody on here for sharing your stories. Your life is very valuable.

I'm married to a man with brain injury ADD ADHD. It's been a nightmare. I Has no idea how compromised he was. We've worked thru alot but when things seem to get better then he says something that makes no sense has an anger problem and is so confused in explaining himself and speaks in a confused impulsive manner. It has caused me much distress, depression. And have to take meds just to live with him. It's traumatizing to me. I've learned to pull away from him, but it's lonely and I know as long as I'm with him my life will always feel fractured and missing the ingredients for a fulfilled normal marriage. He's broken, therefore were broken. We pray and that's the only thing toe that keeps me objective. I would have never decided to marry him if I knew how awful it would be to exist with a person that can't function and carry on a normal conversation most the time what a normal conversation turns into no sense saying something that makes no sense or his inability to process what I'm saying,

I was in a very bad wreck when I was 18 years old. I was speeding to my friends house going around 90mph I hit a ditch due to it raining and it was windy. Since then every single day is a struggle. I suffered a Tbi along with broken bones. The tbi is the worst though. I am so strong willed and I refuse to take any medications. I push myself to the limits everyday, by eating right, exercising, and putting myself into a stressful situation so that hopefully my brain will recognize it and one day I wont have anxiety about the situation. I am 22 years all of my relationships I had are gone now, or they have changed dramatically. But I have seen major progress in every aspect. Though life gets me down almost everyday I still fight because love the person I use to be and I won't give up on myself. Anxiety is the worst part, if every situation doesn't go perfect my mind just shuts down, but I have been dealing with it through staying quite and being polite, and realIzing it's just a part of my brain injury and I will overcome it. Though life is hard and I hate it sometime I try to make the best of it. I take care of disabled people for a living now. I don't get paid much but I feel a little better knowing I'm not on welfare (no offense). If anyone has any tips on how to cope with a server tbi or if anyone wants to chat that would be great

I was in a very bad wreck when I was 18 years old. I was speeding to my friends house going around 90mph I hit a ditch due to it raining and it was windy. Since then every single day is a struggle. I suffered a Tbi along with broken bones. The tbi is the worst though. I am so strong willed and I refuse to take any medications. I push myself to the limits everyday, by eating right, exercising, and putting myself into a stressful situation so that hopefully my brain will recognize it and one day I wont have anxiety about the situation. I am 22 years all of my relationships I had are gone now, or they have changed dramatically. But I have seen major progress in every aspect. Though life gets me down almost everyday I still fight because love the person I use to be and I won't give up on myself. Anxiety is the worst part, if every situation doesn't go perfect my mind just shuts down, but I have been dealing with it through staying quite and being polite, and realIzing it's just a part of my brain injury and I will overcome it. Though life is hard and I hate it sometime I try to make the best of it. I take care of disabled people for a living now. I don't get paid much but I feel a little better knowing I'm not on welfare (no offense). If anyone has any tips on how to cope with a server tbi or if anyone wants to chat that would be great

I worked very sucessfully (not money-wise) in a career that I loved and then I had a accidental ABI (toxic exposures to solvents).  It is funny how since I can not explain how I feel or act to people to try to help them understand me, they all fall back on "you look good".  It is very frustrating. And all those people have left me.  I have two friends that have stayed with me and they do understand and accept me in my new normal but I do not see them so often.  I am home alone most of the time since my husband works.  I guess I talk too much when I talk to people and ramble.  I garden hard all summer and spring and fall when the weather is nice and I listen on my head phones to books that I will not remember but it is nice to listen to someone read to you and it makes the time go fast.  It is lonely.  Very lonely.  Friend leave, family relationships change so much, since I have zero libedo the physical part of being married is about giving my husband joy and cuddling and that is good.  I am trying to make my new normal okay with me.  But without other people it is very hard and lonely.

My TBI happened over 40 years ago. Little was known about TBI back then. Only during the past few years have I been able to understand & explain why I feel the way I feel, and why my life has gone the way it has. Relationships have been difficult at best, and they seem to get more difficult as I age. That said, I'm still learning about TBI, and I am unwilling to give up.

My brain injury happened at age 27.  It was epilepsy.  It went on for 17 years and loss of two wives because they couldn't take it.  I did have surgery for it.  I still have issues and no one to take care of me.  I moved from the big city to my little town because I thought I would have more friends because that is where I grew up and lived until college.  I have been here three years and no friends and depression and killing me now.  A town of 3500 and nothing for me.  What a mistake this was.  Nothing to do in a town of 3500.  Wish me luck to get out of here.

Thank you for writing this. It was like looking into a mirror. Seeing everything in print, knowing that others go through it, is comforting.

I had an auto accident while going to work. I fell asleep at the wheel and hit a tree head on at about 60mph. I was lucky to survive the accident but left me with a TBI and chronic pain from all the broken bones I received. I was in an induced coma for a month and told that I had died twice. When I got home finally I spent the next 5 months relearning how to do things but watching my family suffer from loads of bills I returned to work after 6 months after the accident. I had several mini strokes and still have tempral lobe seizures so now disabled. My wife at the time decided we should move in with her mother to help with the bills which was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. She told me just about every day when we got there She wanted her Old husband back and that I wasnt the guy she married. After 5 years of hearing this and marital counseling that she didnt pay attention to, I asked for a divorce. She asked me If I still loved her, but to be honest I dont feel love anymore. Yes I needed her, mainly as someone that cared for me and was there when I had siezures so that I wasnt alone. Now here it is 5 years after, I get to see my kids once a year or not at all cause they have jobs, and I have to pay for them to come to me which isnt cheap. I have two dogs, they are the reason I still am here. Is that part of frontal brain injuries? lost of the emotion Love? I would like to be in a relationship but worry about this lost emotion. There are days and weeks I am depressed and dont want anyone around me. I shop one day at a time and usually real late at night or early morning cause I have a hard time around crowds. Would therapy help me find the emotion again or is it lost forever.

Friends of ABI.I hope you received my last note.  I had a Brain Tumor , it was removed.  I also have epilepsy. I had to learn to walk,talk, balance is gone, vision is less but I still have a good outlook on life.  During this I went through a divorce.  I am a survivor.  Exercise dear friends and recharge your brain.  It takes time and a lot of mental thoughts. Take care and don't  ever ever give up on yourselves.

I sustained  head injuries as a child from child abuse and a car accident and then as a teen I tried to kill myself and ended up causing more damage. I have 1 friend who I love like a sister that I met in my early 20's but if it wasn't for her i would completely alone. I try to go on online forums and find I run into the same problems as I do in person, people don't understand and they don't care. I always wanted to be a mom but that was taken from me by my own parents who caused me this stupid injury and I am depressed and angry and scared and alone.

Thank you for validating all of these struggles that I've been experiencing.  During the past 9 months since the accident, I've felt more lonely than I think I've ever felt before...and that's coming from someone who has battled significant clinical depression for 13 years.  It's nice to be reminded that I'm not alone in this.  It would be really helpful to have some tips for managing these limitations, explaining these struggles to non-TBI friends/relatives, or learning how to overcome our new insecurities.  

Im going through this for last 2 years...

I suffered a chemical brain injury due to improper administration of antibiotics, and then a mTBI 5 months later. It took a lot of my personality, intelligence, and health away. I can never have a career, and probably can't live independently. I still have friends, but people I loved dearly left me because I was no longer the same person. I know they are right. But they get to walk away with their grief and continue on with their lives intact. I get to live with the knowledge they are correct and I am lost to myself, and I have disappointed everyone I love. Caregivers and friends can walk away, and experience the loss like one would experience an interpersonal loss. Then they can live their lives. Survivors get to experience that same loss, as well as the knowledge of losing themselves. We can't escape.

It was interesting to read of those wondering about having relationships or relationships that hadn't gone on long enough for marriage, and the healthy one leaving. I've already posted before (the 1st one I think) so I understand plenty about TBI and relationships.  More than I want to know!  I'm being honest in my OWN opinion. Every TBI is different.  TBI is hard on the patient, and very hard on the caregiver who is watching their loved on go down hill.  They don't understand what is happening.  Seeing the pain, or confusion, or not able to do what they used to do... Realizing that person had changed and this will NOT get some better (if it's in the early stages) or this is how it will be. NO MATTER WHATEVER THE ISSUE IS IN LIFE, relationships have backpacks., The interview is over and all the junk is poured out.  For some, they know they can not do it forever.  They hurt badly when they have to tell you, but they know themselves enough to know they can't do it.  So in a way, they have done a favor by NOT marrying, then going through all the divorce issues. 

Saying Goodbye is very hard, but sometimes it may save us more grief in the long run. 

Those who have been in a long term relationship/marriage is very painful. Hopefully, a type of "friendship" can be maintained (if that is wanted), and every thought has been put into "keeping your self esteem intact".  It's not about YOU, it is about what happened.  It's a shame, but you are still the wonderful you.

Therapy maybe needed, if you feel you aren't coping well.  But read up on Grief.  You will be surprised to find that grief is physical and mental and has very definite symptoms.  And I hope you have someone who will stand by.

For those alone.... I beg you to join groups, to ask someone to lunch, a neighbor, an acquaintance, someone who you feel okay with being together for an hour.  THIS IS NOT A DATE.  And preferably someone who is of the same sex.  If they ask questions, give the short version in a positive way.  When friendships develop, telling more can be the final test!:)  Those that fall in love, or choose to become close friends, are choosing you because of YOU, not because of anything else.

And there's the ones that are down right cruel.  Hopefully, you can get away as far as you can.

Not all have this problem.  I lost most of my friends, and it split the family because some put a time limit on my "illness" and "TBI" and I had gone past the limit of sickness.  The don't understand the issues we have or how it makes us feel. 

It's okay to have a good friend that doesn't understand, but believes you.  That is a real friend.  Websites that validate your feelings and issues are very helpful.  Thank goodness for Google!  Here are great site for everyone and I hope you find them useful. www.brainline.org (my fave)   FB: Chronic Pain Education for Patients, Friends and Family, www.invisibledisabilities.org (Fabulous), and many groups on FB.

When one is swimming up hill, it IS hard.  It can be done.  I would be easier with support, but we can drum up our own if we have too!  Life is about having a friend, not a spouse, to have happiness.  When our concentration is elsewhere, something beautiful occurs that is a miracle!  YOU become the miracle, because you have stepped out on shaky ground and begun to build your confidence.  Detour around Toxic people, just as we would Toxic waste!

 I bet you have more empathy, etc... than some who have not had some hard experiences!  Use the "gift" and you'll make a difference in many lives.

This subject can not be discussed in a short portion here.  There are many things to consider, but hitting on the highlights. My computer is acting up, so I apologize if words are not where they belong!

involve pain, etc...  Check out the tabs.  And the most popular is

Rumors are ridiculous, but think of them like this:  Rumors are events that we did or something that happened to us that we weren't aware of!  We may learn we lead a very exciting life! :)

Dear Feb 23, 12:05pm:

I was shocked to read your note, as that is ALMOST my story 13 years ago this March.  It's pretty much hell on earth, but it doesn't have to be if there was enough love and empathy to care enough to READ information on what I was going through~!  Education and knowledge helps keep families together in cases like this.  As I'm sure you are aware, rumors begin, friends turn their back - the ones that are shocking because you REALLY thought they were your friends, and you end up with a couple who are by your side because they truly understand the need for support.  At first, my husband read.  My kids?  I was just in the way, stayed in trouble for being so dumb, and for friends and relatives - I had passed the time of being sick, so now "get with it"!  The things that are said are astounding.  And the question that comes up is why is there ISOLATION?  Possibly for protection of your feelings!  Many would find it shocking if they asked me if I was glad to be here. "NO"!  I have the perfect "life" on the outside, but behind the doors, I don't feel worthy to ask anything of my children, friends family, or most neighbors.  WHY?  Why is that a question----- is what I'd ask~!  If someone keeps saying "NO" and has excuses kin to "I've got to wash my hair", that tells me something.  Some have issues that I don't understand, but it's not mine to judge.  Those that give those excuses, yet on FaceBook, there are pictures filled that day or weekend, or week of pleasures all day.  While I think that is wonderful, and am glad they are enjoying their fruits of their labor, do they not have one hour for a friend?  I'd call it "love".  The "love chapter" in the bible says it all, yet it does give us time for pleasure.  And, what does that teach their children?  And we wonder why we have so many selfish children/young people out there?  I don't expect ANYTHING I wasn't willing to do when I was able.  Teaching my children to go to visit those in nursing homes, ill, doing for them, etc... was what was taught me.  So to me, I'm shocked when it is mentioned that I can't cook (lost that ability) and my husband is exhausted when he comes home and puts on his "wife hat", and nothing is done 99% of the time.  There is pity (sorry without action), and rarely compassion (sorry WITH action).  I think of Job a lot and realize that in this type situations, many things are brought to light.  Who are our REAL friends?  What are others responses, and what are my responses (thankful, grateful for all they do?), and make it pleasant so they will return.  Many believe we should not think about it, not talk about it, not join groups, not write, yet they ask us to COPE!  That is why it's hard to keep calm, when advice is given that has no revelance to it, yet we smile and try to keep going and keep friends.  The hardest part emotionally of TBI and Chronic Pain is how we are treated that is undermining, and usually we have our other senses strong, and can "feel" when another is critical or disgusted.  And why would we want to socialize?  Yes, it's hard because of the TBI, and sometimes I would push harder if I knew there would not be other factors to "fight" to keep a positive outlook.   So,  please, Feb. 23rd, 12:05pm, keep going, someday someone will come into your life that will help you physically.  We all know that complaining does nothing, but at some point we come across that one person we can really talk too and NOT pay for their services! :)  We can do this, with God as our strength.

Painfully yours.

I was 17 when I received my injury and now 23. Alot of this is very true. I had many friends come visit me in the hospital but when I got out it seemed like they all disappeared. My family as well except for my mother and father but brothers, sisters and cousins all try and avoid me. Because of not having friends I became a real loner. I did join a support group in Phoenix Arizona. I would definitely recommend this location for either patients looking for help or to socialize with other victims and do events. As for me, I found that working out everyday has calmed my anger down immensely and works my self confidence back up. I just now got a relationship in many years and so far is going good. Wish me luck and I hope for all other TBI patients that luck is on your side. I understand what you are going through but stand tall, keep your chin up and continue to move on, things will get better in life. P.S. I did drugs and drank alot coming out of the hospital and that was a HORRIBLE idea. Try your best not to fall in that rut!
My husband suffered a brain bleed back in February of this year, 2013, due to a blow to his head. It was then determined he had a very rare condition called a cavernous hemangioma. This mass of vessels sat mid brain stem on his relay of the brain at the Thalamus. Since the location of the mass was so complex his condition was noted to be non-operable, by all surgeons we had seen. We were living with a time bomb. I left my job the day of his injury and flew out to be with him, since it happened out of town. I have never left his side since. I am his 24/7 caregiver and I do everything and have seen everything. We struggled for months trying to locate a surgeon. One doctor told us he would help us find help with someone either in our area or within our Country. May of 2013 we were blessed to have found our amazing surgeon out of UVA in Charlottesville, VA. The most profound surgeon, team and medical district I have ever seen. After meeting with our Dr.L, we were contemplating surgery. Gamma Knife was not an option. May 30th 2013 my husband underwent one of the most complex surgeries. Dr. L told us the morning of that this hemangioma actually grew about 40% from the previous MRI we had. I believe the surgery was about 10-12 hours total. We spent all summer between the hospital and rehab there and then readmitted in August for Hydrocephalus in the brain where we needed to go in for a shunt placement. My husband had a difficult time with getting off the ventilator and then needed a trach. Also feed tubes, G-tube and J-arm due to complications. A portion of the skull is gone due to swelling of the brain and has not been replaced. We have undergone in-house PT, Speech and OT and now are being evaluated for out-patient therapies. He is now able to walk with his "roller" and he tries to help in the kitchen and I take him to the ocean front to breath. His physical outward wounds are healing nicely but now we are in the phase of the "inward" wounds. The ones that no one can see. I had no idea as to what TBI was or what to expect. I can tell you that even myself I had a breakdown and ended up in the hospital from all the stress I witnessed him going through.. I had to have a surgical procedure done on my esophagus due to the stress my body underwent. My husband is still very much confused and sees people that are not here nor have been, some have passed away. Much of the day he sleeps, he also developed sleep apnea from this surgery/trauma/ so recovery is just frustrating. He may seem to be in the hear and know but then just an hour or hours later he forgets what the day was like and I have to repeat it again. Night time he goes into anxiety mode and I will have to keep looking at his 9-10 inch scar on his head with a flashlight for an hour or two straight to reassure him that it is okay. The recovery phase we are in is tough. I am seeing more outbursts and temper and anger and much depression. I am his punching bag in the sense where he takes everything out on me. He tells me I do nothing for him when in fact I have been the ONLY one to do it all. We live states away from family and friends so yes, when I say it is just he and I..I mean it is just he and I. I have taken pictures and blogged and videos since February. Sometimes I sit with him and show him how far he has come. He does not seem to SEE what I see. I feel he is actually STUCK at the time of surgery and can not get past all the yucky stuff he went through in the hospital. Not that he remembers it..just from what he has seen and heard. He also is comparing himself to who he was prior and can not recognize improvement because he can't do many of the things he use to..but in my eyes he is doing so well. He is not in a wheelchair and he even walks with me without the walker at times but in his eyes he wants to jump on his motorcycle and also surf. You see, he also has Diplopia. His vision is bad. He sees doubles and fours and split vision and so he can't drive at this time. He is not able to make sound quick judgments so that is also a minus. He is angry and frustrated. We argue so much. The bills keep coming in and I spend most days arguing with insurance folks and anyone else that gets in my way. I do not take care of myself as I use to. I am only 45 years young. My husband is only 51. There is no romance, intimacy or even normal conversations it seems. I could be talking to him and he chimes in with a complaint of something. The food I cook he does not like, the way I was dishes, the volume of the TV, the way I fold clothes, the ketchup on the wrong side of the refrigerator, the noises, the people outside bother him and he will now yell at them. Most words to me are in a demeaning tone ..its almost as if he is bi-polar. The only way I can describe it. Then sometimes he tries to be sweet. I am to rub his hair and rub his arms, I serve him all his meals and cook and I make sure he always has something to snack on. I take him out for walks and try to get his mind preoccupied. I try to be silly but it is viewed as "being stupid".. It is hard to make him laugh and when he does I hold on to that moment. My husband told me that people are not able to see the "inside" of him only the outside. Its not like he is wearing a huge cast for people to say "oh geeze what happened". When you look at him you would tend to think he is fine..but he is not. His deficits include, short term memory, anger, fall risk (tends to wobble to the right), Diplopia (eyes) and Sleep apnea. He is depressed and moody and our relationship is just hanging on. I am a caretaker by heart and never thought I would be "HERE" in life. I love my husband with all my heart just not liking him these days. I am trying to seek help from many specialty doctors for he and I. We have to live with this so I am desperate for the tools and support. Financially we are ruined. This has taken a toll on us in so many levels. I am proud of the strength and courage my husband has and hope for one day for he to be able to see even a glimpse of how amazing he is! Our surgeon was so right when he told me in NICU to take care of myself because this is a very long journey.. but I truly did not realize what that meant. I am in the process of writing a book and my hope is to spread awareness and help others with this condition or any other that deems non-operable. There are options, there is hope and we found it. I will continue to support my husband and help him because he deserves just that. I pray we can find the support and help we deserve one day too. God Bless you all who are going through these journeys.
Because I am not the one who sustained the tbi I feel that any comment I make on the above contributions may be trite...please belive the intention behind the action is loving. I read several comments which brought me to tears, but which underlined to me the shallowness of the friendships, and I am tempted to say, \"If that is how your friends treated you after your tbi then they were not genuine friends in the first place\". Then I read a comment made about a family member, and that put me in my place...I dont know what to say. However, I may add, someone close to you having a tbi brings one face to face with our own tenuous grip on mortality. What I am trying to say is, seeing someone else suffer in this way scares the **** out of some of us. This in no way excuses hurtful behaviour, but sometimes knowing what is going on helps us understand things more. Knowledge is very powerful, but you can not \"force\" others to \"learn\". I needed time to \"take in\" things about my husband\'s tbi. One of the most challenging characteristics he has acquired is talking in a monotone, with no inflections, so I am often puzzled as to his emotional state...not realizing when he is angry, or when he is depressed, or when he is happy! So I will state, once again, that the person with brain challenges may need (even if it isnt exactly fair, and yet another thing on which to work) to give their relations time to recreate their relationships. :-)
As a survivor I feel like I struggle with a lot of these but what I was disappointed with this article because it didn't list ways of us survivors to help cope or improve on these issues.
I had a severe bleed due to a banging my head after a tumble. Being on heart meds caused severe bleed and thinking I had harder hits to the head I din't take it as serious. I should have. The relationship with my wife before was ok, not ok, ok, not ok on and on like that. After the TBI it was the same but not being allowed to drive her driving drives me crazier at times