TBI 101: Behavioral & Emotional Symptoms

Return to article

Comments (143)

Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.

This has also happened to me and worse is I don’t even care ,I’m hurt and no one understands or believes me
All the best

Kimberly I can say you’re not alone in your battle. Because I am a successful businessman nobody believes me when I tell them what I’m experiencing. I fell from my dad’s roof 12 ft onto concrete. There’s a TBI clinic in Ohio it only took me 9 months to get into lol. Please seek out a TBI clinic and get a complete assessment. I was a single parent and my two daughters that I poured my entire life into didn’t even call or text me after I almost died and they live 10 minutes away. My current wife mentioned something and they of course got defensive. Please hang in there and start meditation from YouTube it’s helping until you get into a clinic. Goodful meditation was a good start

Dear friend,
I am a long-term "surthriver" of TBI. I had an auto accident in 1989 that left me in a local rehab here called Bryn Mawr Rehab for over a year. Initially, I was like you, very angry and frustrated over all the time and memories I had lost and so very concerned that I'd never be "myself" again. But as time went on, I had to learn and accept that the person I had been might never return when I was able to do that; I became able to make new connections with my family and friends. (those worth keeping, support, and dedication to helping me recover, proved who was a true friend). It's insanely)literally) hard work but so worth it. I'm married now with 5 children and have a life I never could imagine in 1990.
I struggle a great deal with short-term memory loss and the inability to recall my connection to my past. Those relationships can sometimes still be a struggle to forgive myself for and others to remember and understand.
But I want to tell you it gets better. A good Psychiatric and neurological team are crucial, keep looking and until you find the folks that work for you.
Hang in there, soul sister, and please take comfort in the FACT that it will get easier, don't numb your mind to all the beauty that is out there to re-discover.

26 years ago after a motorcycle accident, coma, months/years/lifetime of recovery and the trials and tribulations of TBI daily life it amazes me that even though I have managed to find ways around most obstacles, every once and awhile there are people who still feel the need to point out that ‘Nice scar on your head (subdural hematoma) or neck (tracheotomy) you have a brain injury, that explains a lot’. People are so ignorant and unable to even think of a few of the things those of us with TBI deal with everyday.
Everyday. We can be the most loving, caring people and want to be but the triggers that are common like repeating things to us we ask not to be done, trying to change our routines, moving things we like to have in places for any reason, making comments about TBI in any way other than a question, continuous criticism for no reason and negativity, these are only a sample of on going items I have tried to adapt to, try to keep the same or constant and usually am successful.
Is it really that bad? Is it so hard to try to be positive in life and with us most of the time?
Some of us that have found ways to succeed in life really just want to be accepted as normal not singled out for having scars and TBI.
Pretty sad that instead of being nice and just getting jobs done people you think are your friends still feel the need to criticize something they no little or nothing about. Very glad I do not think or act like that.

Just found this page and read your post.. I too had a TBI when younger.. (30+ years ago).. I’m 49 now and had been in denial most of my life afterwords in regards to any lingering issues. Finally went in for service after years of my check engine light being on.
It”s been an eye opening experience to say the least.. I now often wonder what I would have been like or what I would have done with my life if I never had the injury.
I was able to get most everything under control and led a great life (for me and my place in this world) but as of the last 4+ years I’ve been dealing with newly developed and developing issues that I can’t help but to think must be related to the TBI… I’m not one to use things for excuses or look for passes but the more you research the more many things start to come together and also the more you start to wonder. Mood swings, depression, headaches, etc etc are what I call the “norms” or the “expected” issues following a TBI and although quite challenging in their own right, to me, are the lessor of the potential issues..
Their are also sleep issues, seizure issues (that you might not even be aware are happening) spontaneous vertigo, excessive daytime sleepiness, tremors, memory issues, emotional issues, failure to thrive and empathy issues, etc, etc…
Unlike you, my scars are not an immediate indicator of a brain injury. I have faded but noticeable scars on my upper face and forehead but I had a Basal skull fracture and all drilling and pressure relief attempts were in the back..

I'm going through the same things with my son these posts have been very helpful in understanding TBI injury that happened at a young age it is really hard to see it love one go through it. please keep me and my family in prayer and I will do the same.

My TBI was over 30+ years ago too. Memories of my previous life are hit and miss. A picture helps, but I can only recall the immediate memory of that instant, nothing before and nothing after. For years I thought I was fine. The short-term memory loss was irritating, but I dealt with it by writing everything down. Because of the TBI, I feel I did not get to 'deal' with the grief of losing my children in the accident. It has always been in the back of my consciousness. Recently, I lost my father and it's like the crap hit the fan. The anger is endless, the tearing up is irritating, and the lack of empathy for anything that happens around me, yet I am angered by the lack of empathy shown to me. From my reading, it would seem that, the TBI symptoms get worse the older you get. They become more prevalent. Have our coping skills diminished or do we just not give a f*** anymore? Is our brain finally just shutting down on us? It makes me angry to think, after all these years, that I would finally need to seek outside help in order to deal with the chaos my mind has become. "Everyone is an idiot!" or "How can people be so stupid?" These are my normal thoughts now. I used to be forgiving, I used to see past little indiscretions, but not anymore. Everything seems to be directed at me and on purpose. Yet, I know this is not true, this is just how I am seeing things now. There is no one out to get me, but I keep looking over my shoulder. In the evening, a simple thought about work sets off an anxiety attack. Depression has been an issue from the get-go. There were several suicide attempts.

I want to thank every commenter on here for sharing their story. Sad to say, but I am relieved that I am not alone in feeling the way I feel. Reading about other people that are experiencing the same things I am is reassuring. I'm not going crazy. Thank you for opening up and sharing. It has been a great help.

My husband had encephalitis in 2013. He always had a temper and had a wandering eye for women before in his teens and early 20s but post encephalitis coma he's been getting progressively worse. He was showing bits of empathy here and there, now I see absolutely none. The only time he's happy is when he's cheating on me (serial cheating) behind my back, as long as I don't know. He is angry, rages, lies, manipulates, creates stories and believes them, controlling, possessive and completely heartless. He once loved me very much. He was kind. We did everything together. He will carry on in his abusive episodes and then all of a sudden act like nothing has happened and I have no reason to be upset by his behaviors. I'm a complete mess. I don't have much hope left for my marriage but I also can't find many stories like ours so I thought I'd share mine just in case there is someone out there going through this too.

I need help my wife of a wonderful twenty two years asking for a divorce I suffered a TBI it will be two years on Agust 2 2022 we never went to any consoling or groups do to coved I’m in such gilt that I went back to work so I could pervide for the family way to early I’m doing everything in my power to change my wife mind I want to do consoling anything!!!! I know this is hard to make a comment on but I’ve been a really good father for are daughter and a husband she suffers anxiety my daughter is a mess I’m just try to get them healthy again but hard when I’m the one with the TBI any ideas on what I can do just to get them to read up on TBI I’ve learned so much in a short time just buy reading for one night

I lost my son then my business due to thieving employees taking advantage of his death and then covid. I was punched in the back of my head shortly after all of that. My behavior changed dramatically but I didnt know . Anything I did , I blamed on anger or grief.
I could tell something was off though. I would describe symptoms without knowing anything about TBI. Ive lost all my friends. My son My business and now my Wife hated me. And to me. It seemed like she was doing it. I was being punished. I denied any and all of my behavior. Knowing you have an injury is a huge help. Then admitting you are not doing things right. Slow down.. I felt so overwhelmed. Hated. Punished . And couldnt get through to my wife. That was all that mattered to me. That she understood. Then she would love me. She would know I am still here. Trying to get back. Every comment she made hurt me. I had been violent and had no impulse control. Called her names. Was abusive. I hadnt been before. Even worse . We had only been married a short time. She has seen far more of the monster I became than what people know me as for the rest of my life. She doesnt see the dream man she fell in love with anymore. So I am lost . Only child gone, business destroyed, lost millions adn wrecked my marriage. So I stopped talking. Stopped needing to be understood. Started listening. Being understanding. I am not fixed at all yet. But I am smart enough to know I am in charge of me .. Regardless of what happened. Honestly I dont feel it is fair to be treated as harshly as I was before I even knew. And many people dont care or dont believe it is real. So what. Now I do know and my life isnt going to be better by needing more from people. I was a self made millionaire and could handle anything. Now I an abusive child. I think Ill keep working on how I can be better to my wife. Not need her to be better to me. To your wife.. The constant struggle in the mind for a tbi sufferer afraid of losing his wife. Its a useles and never ending fight to worry about what you are saying or how to not screw up. ANd the more pressure you put on that sufferer the more it grows. And it takes everything. Truly everything just to mismanage that i the mind. And he isnt even aware of how much mental and emotional energy is going into that. And the aloof and moody attitude. It is resentment. Feeling abandoned and not even being able to communicate. And now losing the only thing that matters. Because of an injury he cant even understand. If you want your husband back. Quit pushing him away. He is aware he sucks.. That he failed. That he isnt what he was. That you dont want him..
He knows .. He has heard it. Please understand. We have the emotional response of children. You wouldnt deliberately be mean to a child. Thats how it feels to us. It is crushing. You see an adult. Capable. Yes, but fragile and It is your job to help. Not stay under any circumstance. But if you didnt do your job. He cant come back. I knew I would kill myself as soon as I understood TBI. What it took from me. What it would keep taking. But I am not going to quit without trying anything and everything I can.
It sucks. We suffer 10x more than you think we do and we are hated for it. BUt . I canr change that. I can change me. And its up to me to be who I was. And spouses. Fucking help. Do not cater to. We are fucking puppies. Dont scold us. Encourage. Talk. Is that how you what to be thought of. Is your behavior acceptable. NO. We need you. You are the only one we can trust. Our only chance. You promised to be there. Help us.

Prayer changes things for real. Please seek God in prayer and ask him to intervene in your life. Trust God. He cares for you. Read Psalm 23 and Psalm 119. I will pray for your healing and for your family! Peace and Blessings to you all!

There should be a local support group in your area. See if you can get to them just to sit in, and learn more.

Healing takes a long time, real rest is important, and your family will need to read up on this too.

You are doing great just from I saw here. Still empathetic, trying hard… but going to need some support network.

Family therapy is crucial. Have a neurologist talk with your wife. Set up a treatment plan with your therapist that addresses neurological deficits. You CANNOT do this alone. You shouldn't try to. Reach out for help NOW from therapists, doctors, anyone you have access to.
And pray.

My son was pushed out of a tree house at age 4 and landed on concrete breaking his jaw in 2 places. Prior to the accident he was happy, vibrant & outgoing. After the accident he was different...no longer happy-go- lucky. That was 26 years ago. He has been suffering with depression for the last 8 years and is very bitter and angry. Is all of this connected to his injury at age 4? Is there anything we can do to help him? He has tried meds for depression but doesn't like how they make him feel. He feels like nothing in life ever goes his way, he is very negative about his life and future. I just want to help. Any advice? Thank You

My son has had a TBI and he may have had a brain injury back then. I would talk to his doctor to see if they can order a brain MRI. They will tell you if he suffered a concussion or TBI. I had a concussion as a young child and I’m learning through my son’s treatment my injury has caused me issues with the ability to retsin what I read.

I have a question. I’ve been married to the love of my life for 5 years, and I’m at a point of considering divorce because out of no where for no reason he will become very emotionally abusive and just completely destroy me. He goes from wonderful to a complete narcissist with no empathy looking at me and treating me like an enemy. Nothing will lead up to it. Then after a few hours, he’ll flip again. I’m emotionally exhausted and refuse to be abused. I’m not myself anymore because of it. Yet, I love him more than anything and we have a child together. While at work today, one of my clients mentioned that he’s getting divorced because ever since his wife got in an accident she got a brain injury and became a Jekyll and Hyde abusing personality. That client has no idea about my marriage. But I thought, how unconpassionate to leave your wife of 20 years because she suffers after an accident. Then I remembered something my husband told me, when he was 20 he got jumped by a group and they tried to kill him by stomping on his head and he went unconscious but survived. Is this actually what’s going on? Can it really make someone suddenly abusive for a few hours out of no where and have no feelings for me at all like he’s a psychopath during it? If that’s why, I’ll stay and support him and get help. If he’s just a narcissist and power trips because he’s insecure, I’ll leave. But. Wondering if it’s actually TBI- he also suffers from depression and short term memory problems. Thanks!

I am a survivor of two TBIs and a nurse that specializes in TBI...before I had my first TBI I was studying for my PhD in neuropsychology...short answer to your question...yes, but....its complicated...if a person with brain injury has processing problems or is labile...(emotionally unstable) or has epileptiform activity deep in the midbrain...you may get behavior like this...also sensory overload may be a factor as well...but usually there are learned factors as well...if he learned that he gets what he wants by an aggressive response...he won't change...all behavior is communication...finding the basis is important...finally...as I usually tell families of clients: Disability is an explanation and not an excuse...I hope this helps you at least some. Good luck and know that it definitely can be, but it doesn't make you in any way a bad person for taking care of yourself however you must...

That sounds like me. I thought it was me alone that suffered the Jekyll and Hyde personality complex and I've come looking for help with it. Its emotionally unstable personality disorder and it is really hard on relationships and friendships. I'm at the point where I have no friends and try to stay away from people lest I tell them off. When my mood changes back I feel like shit and try to apologize but the damage is done.

I can completely relate to the things you have described. My husband has had 4 TBI's over the course over 20 years. We have been married now for a short time, but have been together for a few years. In one instance he can be very sweet, loving, caring, but in the next and without warning can be angry, upset, hysterically crying and what I consider abusive or hostile towards me at times, especially if he feels I am against him in some way. You don't always know who you are going to get or when the switch happens. I feel that this is definitely a result of his TBI's and lack of ability to really regulate the emotions or anger. It can be very difficult at times because while I am a caregiver for him, he denies that I provide any care to him. My husband also suffers from depression, anxiety, PTSD, CTE. Based on my experiences alone, I would have to say that what you're experiencing is very much part of the TBI, and from research I have done, and in speaking with my therapist. Unfortunately, that is part of the TBI, but it is different in each instance and depending on what parts of the brain were impacted. In my husbands case, the whole right side of his brain is 'dead' matter. So we try to work on things that help him retrain the left brain and I try to teach him to recognize the anger moments, or the emotional moments so that he can calm them as much as he can. Not always an easy task since the reasoning part of his brain is hindered. He wants to be the best he can be for himself and for us, so we make a conscious effort to work on that. Also me with my patience or certain things that could potentially trigger him to be emotional. It's not easy, but I love him very much and I want to do the best I can for me and for us. One thing my therapist suggested was working on detachment, walking away in those moments of hurt or anger to avoid having it escalate. Then finding a time to be very clear and assertive about the pain you feel. Also not easy, but worth the effort. I hope this helps you.

In my opinion, it's very likely

I'm sure he has feelings for you and I'm most certainly think that you should drop whatever it is your doing this second and go to him and tell him everything is going to be ok assure him that , seems you have to many people around you and all will say leave him the way you tell the story is as if you made a decision but it's ok all of us are the same , I'm the same way being a widow and having 3 people that I loved not here, I have not been the same since but I'm coming around I wish I had someone that understood that , when I'm alone I shout as loud as I can I say her name or gods name sometimes I'm vain , I use to have anxiety attacks if I would get upset in my trouble youth and be like the way your husband got but I make it a point not to let or be around places that will trigger that switch , I've been waiting for someone for 2 yrs now and my body and brain is wired to think that I have to talk to this person I thought was my friend she or he has done everything possible to tell me she is not my friend and will inflict more pain on me by having me wait and wait in this empty parking lot , watching the cops go by slowly for the 3rd time puts me at edge I was putting t in a coma 2 d's within 15 months blacked out for 42 hours once a lol less the second time so I am so needing to talk to this friend that I. Put my life at risk. Sounds like you know that he cares myself its hard to believe that this person would rather see me lost and in pain for

It could be dissociative identity disorder

I am facing the exact same situation so fully understand your pain. My husband has these personality swings but also major paranoid (jealous) delusions. He had a major fall and significant injury to the front of his head.
The hard thing for me is getting him to acknowledge he has the issue and seek help. I have enlisted his family to try and assist as I am the one who receives his outbursts most and am not always able to stand strong in the face of his anger during these episodes.
Praying for peace and wisdom for you as you travel this road.

TbI concessions can cause this kind of behavior. You need to seek a neuropsychologist to have it diagnosed sounds like a TBI or concussion related brain injury acquired because had was not split open to me, yes, this is the exact hate behavior that appears with the TBI brain injury of any kind in too many concussions can lead to the same thing. He probably does not even realize what he was doing after it's done. Explain to him what's going on to help. And video him not in his face but video him and show him when not in episode this can help. And this behavior was probably never seen by the people close to him and can happen years later sounds like brain injury behavior to me. Only one way to find out.

We have a 13 yr old grandson that suffered a TBI in a atv riding accident 5 yrs ago. When he came home no one was doing all the things I had read that would be helpful to his progress or what would be beneficial to his brain recovery. When he eventually went back to school, it was business as usual. No one showed any concern or gave thought to him being a different child. Everyone has failed him since his injury. He has not been interested in school since then. There have been a few events in his life that have not been pleasant for him and add have had no positive effect. The latest situation to add to his problems with school and not doing his work is the Pandemic. I seem to be the only one concerned that he is not getting better and now that he is a teen I do not know what to do to help this kid get it. He has got to do schoolwork. None of the other adults in his life seem to think there is anything that can be done. He is 13. I really don't think it is an option. He is suppose to be doing schoolwork/learning something. The pandemic seems to have given him and many other kids "get out of jail free" card. Temporarily anyway. He needs to be in school. He should be doing work. At one point I had him where he would settle down and get a little work done. That is no longer the case. I don't know how to help him and all the other adults do not seem to care enough to help see to it that we all work together to work on this issue. what do I do?

We did have to pay for a cognitive exam out of pocket, but that led to him being moved into special education program, which was needed.

There was a great variety of ability within that arrangement, most better equipped that I’d realized.

John remained a challenge but we did keep him in public school thru age 21. Still figuring it out at 24…

I am an 84 year old Air Force veteran who sustained back, neck and head injuries due to an Oct 1956 auto accident, requiring a few days of hospitalization. I was rendered a head concussion. I presented claim to the VA primarily for the back condition as well as hearing loss. I have now received notice from a contracted VA examiner to have an exam for TBI It will be held at a round trip distance of 100 plus miles. at at nationally known hotel (Fairfield Inn). Sadly the DO specialty is in gynecology in which operates an office when is not on a VA assignment She works, and resides in Morehead City, NC. My questions is how can an exam for TBI be properly performed 60 years post trauma, and in a hotel room, lacking any medical diagnostic equipment? Please hel someone.

We are getting VA attention for a head injury with post concussion symptoms from accident while on duty in 1971. We have proof of accident in records that wasn’t given attention at their time. It is VA exams that got attention but we had to appeal for a personal hearing to see the veteran and witnesses. Veteran’s family statements. Get an advocate familiar with TBI and post concussion syndrome. Should not need to pay a representative. There are veterans who help veterans to ask at veterans centers.

Hi, my four year s boy was got cardiac arrest as they were doing sergical operation on him. Its one month and he doesn't know what is going on.he over cry at night yet that what he used do when he was very young (from 2 to 6 months. Am confused with this experience.Is again doing what he used to do when he was still or is it also progressing from brain damage

I was in a auto/semi accident 3 years ago. I have been dealing with the physical issues and surgeries for most of this time. Now that I’m through the major stuff the cognitive and behavioral issues are still here and I feel like they may have gotten worse if that’s possible?

My husband has his own anxiety and issues making this all the more difficult. He has told me he’s done with me and all my excuses. He doesn’t believe I am doing anything to make things better. He believes at this point I’m using my TBI as an excuse for just being a selfish b****. I’m sad and overwhelmed, I just feel defeated. I have a horrible time with most everything around executive function and emotional control.

I have quite a bit of deficit with executive function and processing information correctly. When my anxiety is up is very difficult. I don’t seem like I can get a control of my emotions and everything seems overwhelming when this happens. I go from good, to sad, to upset to just crying. I don’t seem to be able to make the right decisions and then everything spirals. I don’t want to be like this and I just want my husband to be on my team. He’s extremely smart but seems to not want to help the situation. I wish he would take the time to educate himself on what’s actually happening before he packs up and leaves.

Wow, I just read your post and was floored. I know exactly how you feel. It's been 3 years since my 1st car accident. It's not fair but how or where do you get the strength. I have good days and then there is bad days... ugh. I had not realized the effect it has taken on me or my family until recently.
My other half is having his own issues from the accident which, like you mentioned adds a whole other layer to coping. Have you found anything that helps you?

I'm 65. First accident when I was 13, then several yrs following. Other hit me from behind and front. I walked away good I thought. Always had headaches. Thought migraines. 4 yrs ago someone else broadside me after running a red light... I have never been right since. Think I had these issues some early on didn't know the difficulties as I do now. I work hard everyday to be me... emotional wreck anxiety thru the roof, and lots of uncontrolled anger.

I have been to university of Kentucky and been diagnosed as tbi and said to have like then football injury to the brain as it was multiple. I have amnesiac episodes, memory and cognative struggles.

Hang in there I do everyday. I'm blessed to be retired now and much more free time from stressors

Turn to God. He will never leave you and understands all things. I am so sorry that you’re coping with this.

I never knew that TBI was a thing until I mentioned a childhood incident to my psychiatrist at the VA about a year ago.
At 6 yrs of age I fell from a tree and struck the back of my head on a large pine root. I was told that I was out for about 9 min. My Doc was very intrigued by this and wanted to know more. When I asked why, he said it was a TBI. An education followed.
I informed him that it was not the first time that I bumped my head. At age 9 I fell from a tall structure and struck my forehead on the concrete. The old lady who saw it had to clean a lot of blood from my face and eyes, and told my mom I was out for about 5-6 min. A doctors visit and stitches followed.
A very short time afterwards,also at age 9, I was stricken with bacterial meningitis and was comatose for 1and a half weeks I was told. As a result I suffered ‘acquired brain damage’. That one the doc and I were aware of.
Finally at age 24, while deployed overseas in the Army, I was struck in the back of my head again by a grapefruit sized piece of metal shrapnel. Blood and stitches again. My pals told me I was out for at least 40 min.
My psychiatrist sort of scolded me and said I should have told him these things at the start of my treatment here at the VA. I simply regarded them as childhood growing pains so to speak. My brother and my friends and I were very rough boys growing up and had many bad injuries. A few resulted in trips to the hospital. We simply thought nothing of them, and couldn’t wait to get out and play again.
I have been re diagnosed since last year with severe cognitive, and motor dis functions due to multiple TBIs and also acquired brain damage From bac. Meningitis. I have some embarrassing issues such as bad speech, learning disability, clumsy walking and falling, severe confusion, facial grimacing and debilitating headaches. There is also a white spot in the center of my vision that never goes away. I can’t hold a job and I tend to isolate because I make folks uncomfortable. They can’t figure me out. Nor could the wife. She’s gone, which I think was in her best interest. I was hard to live with. My oldest son and my younger twin sons are my anchor and my life. They refuse to give up on me and help me a ton.
I am still learning about this and receive medical treatment at the VA. I value the accounts of others like you all. It helps me to understand and function better.
I am so sorry to hear all of your stories and your suffering. I wish I could make it all disappear for all of us. But such is life. Be strong and embrace those who love you most. Almighty God will make us whole again soon.
Any advice is more than welcome.
Blessings to y’all. Thx. Vic.

I was so touched by your experiences in dealing with tbi. In raising your sons, you must’ve earned their love and loyalty, and this is coming back to you through their love and determination to help you however they can. Pray for your wife that she finds her way, since she could not make herself be there for you. I hope you find healing and peace, and that your amazing boys figure out how to best help you find a way to have a productive life! Love to you!

I had a TBI in 2002 and I have been dealing with mood swings and depression and being socially awkward and distanced when I need to present. I have been married 2x and I can’t seem to hold any form of relationships down bc of lack of sleep I get. I do yoga and meditation pretty much on a regular but I still find it extremely difficult to make it through the day. My current mood is I’m in the dumps...I wish sometimes to just fit in. I look physically healthy but the issues my brain gives me is a challenge...

So I’m 22, I was in a bad car accident 4 years ago. I have a TBI Was in a (Coma). And I’m trying to figure out life with it. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, because people don’t understand. I have long term/ short term memory loss. I have no feelings. I have anxiety, depression, PTSD, mood swings, and seizures. I don’t know how to control my good choices from my bad choices or to recognize the consequences in different actions. And for me people just don’t understand, they don’t understand my train of thought. Because each day is a new day to me. And I just want to be happy. But I don’t know how to overcome all of this and move on. People just expect it from me, while I’m just trying to make it to the next day.

You’re doing amazing. Some people, maybe even most wont get it, stick close to the ones that do and they can help support you finding your new normal. For now. Once you have embraced that, I bet things may improve over time with your brain or you may find that the unconditional love and support of others, whether they get it or not, is more valuable. Brain injuries are tough, just like brain trauma is from being abused or neglected, then people do not tend to understand their choices or behaviors too. You got this.

Please reach out to a support groups. I know with coronavirus, it is not easy but look up online support groups and services in your area.Something else that might help you to feel empowered is to advocate for others and yourself, that have TBI's.Just that you can reach out tells me your strong.You never know what you could accomplish or who you could help. For an example starting a group in your area,hooking up with libraries, hospitals, schools and your community in your area to bring awareness of
TBIS which could help with schooling, vocational training, and speaking about your experience with others. Believe in yourself, and know your not alone.Best Wishes,Donna

I'm right there with your issues. I'm 38 years old. I was in my accident in January 2012. Coma, family said doctor gave me 5% to live. TBI, broken back, ribs, partial finger amputation. Memory issues seem to have just started more for me. I think it maybe based that my wife, whom I married June 2012, is getting a divorce with me. We have 2 children, my oldest with ASD (Autism) and my 3 year old daughter. I just missed a month and a half of work to go to therapy because I don't understand what I've done wrong. Never abused physically or mentally. I have provided everything for family. I'm working through therapy and it's helping. I did just have a breakdown tonight but I got out of it. I pray that you can find what can help you. I had a coworker tell me that we are a team. I agreed but said that I'm working on ME to make the team better. Wishes for you.

In response to your feelings of being inadequate because your spouse has lost interest in the marriage, I can understand your pain. I do think that there are some people who are more or less addicted to chaos and probably feel more comfortable in a dysfunctional relationship. So security and stability are probably not what will keep them interested and they tend to seek out something newer and with someone there probably less compatible with, so they can experience the high and low level of emotions that come with that kind of relationship. When someone matures enough and overcomes their emotional issues, then they also might seek stability and normality. Just an opinion though, and from my point of view, as to why woman or men for that matter; gravitate to bad relationships with more volatility.

It’s extremely difficult to be dealing with a chronic issue like this at your age. Know that you are a beautiful, valuable person, and that yes, it will take a lot of adaptation and finding alternative ways of doing things. (For example, writing everything down and reviewing it could be helpful, if not implemented already. Cell phones or tablets are very helpful.). You can still have a full life, learn new and fun hobbies, and you can meet some truly amazing people along the way - especially care providers and other people who’ve gone through similar things. Part of grieving acceptance of the injury is fully acknowledging this is your life, but it does not define your value. It is totally not a fair expectation that you can “just move on.” Someone who has not gone through this will not comprehend this. It’s ok to let that be ok, and advocate for yourself, but cannot “fix” someone else’s perceptions. Remember with the teeniest, tiniest baby steps, change can be achieved. Do it for you, yourself, and you, at your pace. Not for someone else. There may be many things that people tell you that you can’t do. It’s ok to challenge the norm that little by little and see what’s possible. Best wishes to you - know that you’re already a fighter!


All I can do is share my story and hope you can find something in it that could help you.
I was in my first car accident in 2005. I was never in a coma or even spent any time in the hospital. But reading your story, I could feel your frustration, because I been there.
My head injury was a closed one, which means your brain hits your skull. I was hit straight on the driver's side, then the vehicles slid sideways.
I found out later because my Bronco wasn't that broken, that is was acceleration, deceleration of the impact. Which simply means instead of the force going into the vehicle, it is absorbed in the body.
I pulled a lot of nerves and muscles, I was in chronic pain, along with a brain injury which I had to figure out on my own because even though I was functioning, I really wasn't, no one told me I had one. Trial and error and research was the key.
I was the scariest thing I had ever gone through at 45. I had short term memory problems and on and on.
One thing for sure, some people might understand, but most, unless they have gone through or have a loved one who has, then they can't possibly know.
I decided that I was going to figure out what was good for me and stay true to it. I started paying attention to what was working and what wasn't. Even if it was a professional telling me if it felt wrong or hurt I wouldn't do it. Ya people get mad, but hey so what!
I would pace myself, sleep when I needed to. Close myself off if I needed that.
I was my own best friend.
I think we all have unseen protection from God or a higher power. I times when I couldn't forsee a situation, I would just ask for help out in the universe or say a prayer. It really works.
The brain is an amazing organ. Doctors would say, " don't know if you'll get back where you were".
Well maybe I didn't get back, but I got a new normal, that I was comfortable with. The brain will on its own time.
It's important to stay healthy, with eating habits and sleep.
So what makes me an expert, lol! Well, I"m not but, I 2017 I got hit from behind at a stop light. The people behind me were going about 30 mph, without breaking. I was 59.
I did not lose consciousness, didn't go to the hospital. kinda the same stuff.
With the first accident, all that happen was like a bee sting in the brain.
This time I got out to look and ask questions and instantly had nausea. Also blurry vision.
What I discovered was another head injury, with a different part of my brain.
I was just as scared as the first time, but I had more knowledge and boundaries dealing with people.
It didn't alleviate what I had to go through.
For seven days or say I slept. Every time I get up I had nausea. This kept up for 6 to 7 months. Blurry vision I still have. And boy that is scary because I was thinking I was going to go blind, even though I have 20/20 vision.
It's been 3 years and I am still struggling, but I am also getting better as my brain does its own healing.
I say, " Why me Lord", well I haven't got an answer, lol! Maybe it's a test or testimony.
I live in Missoula Montana, and they have 0 help for brain injury, except for the association support group.
Like in Durham Nc, they have a lot of knowledge about head injury and clinics and stuff. Who has the money to do that???
I research a lot. I started art therapy a few years ago and collaborated with art with my cool counselor.
It is healing. you can do your own journaling, with collage paint or whatever. It helps you get out of your head and I think it helps heal the brain, at least it did for me.
The second head injury I was in a three year relationship, it ended after the car accident. He was not understanding and wouldn't allow me to heal, so I had to make a healthy choice.
I play my guitar and do my music, even though I have a problem with memory, I never give up. I go at my own pace. Try to stay a steady course, but if I can't I start again, try not to beat myself up. I just get up and show up, and go from there.
This is the most I've shared with anyone online. I hope this is helpful to you, or whoever reads.
Never give up! God has a plan!

My wife of 20 years had an accident in an irrigation ditch in spring 2020. Fell twice, hit her head twice, almost drowned and ended up with 2 herniated discs in her neck and had 13 hours of amnesia. She had 2 half dollar size bruises on her forehead. She has not been the same since. Very emotionally unstable, started drinking excessively (especially when she gets triggered) has gastrointestinal issues and memory issues. We live in your area as well and have had very little help from the medical profession. Covid has not helped a bit, obviously. What good is a teleadoc appointment with a neurologist!?
In hindsight I wish I would have understood her injuries more but was to focused on work and keeping the household up and running for our 3 daughyers. Very challenging times! I am very worried that our marriage will not survive this!

I cannot control my emotions
Some friends and family feel
that since this happened to me
20 years I am completely cured
How can I get them to understand?

Same, over 20 years and it totally depends on my reserve, or mental energy. If I do nothing and sleep a lot for several days I can function much better. But still I have just considered myself emotionally bankrupt. Any and all intense conflict, stress, accusation, or even negative energy caused by a family member or someone close enough to get inside my head can drain my mental and physical energy almost instantly. Or trigger rage, uncontrolled shouting, or make me tremble and shake with uncontrolled nervous energy. I simply must avoid all negative energy and toxic people. So I have basically devorced my entire family, some entirely, others less so. I am supported and encouraged by medical practitioners to protect my peace.

In terms of outside stimulus of severe and threatening nature from total strangers I am just the opposite. I have been threatened, assulted, even an attempted armed robbery at knife point and I simply ignored, even laughed and walked away totally unphased. Cool as a cucumber but strangely detached. This I seem to have little control over, or never know how or why sometimes I do, other times I don't get ruffled.

Hi Permalink, I've had TBI all my life since I was a child (for about 45 years) and people still do not understand... though some friends and family member learnt to love me no matter what!

The Charity Headway has been amazing in supporting me through rough patches. They have lots of information and leaflets you can give to your friends and family to help them understand, and for you to learn how to manage your specific symptoms. They also have support groups and specialist therapeutic support (although at present, with the Covid pandemia, they had to temporarily reduce they're services). Check them out at https://www.headway.org.uk/

Good luck and don't give up!

When you abbreviate or use acronyms , define it so readers understand what the acronym stands for.

TBI stands for Traumatic Brain Injury

I'm totally fine just getting cyber bullied by someone who really hates me we have been doing this shit for almost a year o just don't let her and hom get to m thanks for asking bye