The Most Helpful Thing Someone Has Done for Me Since My Brain Injury Is...

The Most Helpful Thing Someone Has Done for Me Since My Brain Injury Is …

TBI defined by the people who are living with it ...

BrainLine asked our online community to share the most helpful thing someone has done for them since their brain injury, and the list below captures some of the many responses so generously provided by people with TBI.

Every individual’s experience with traumatic brain injury is unique, but there are many common symptoms and emotions. Anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety may be accompanied by difficulties with memory, pain, and the challenges of maintaining relationships.

We encourage you to add your own thoughts in the comments section below, and to join the BrainLine community on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Pinterest.

Let me be myself without judgment.
– Deb

Exercised patience.
– Thomas

Loved the new me!
– Kate

Stayed my friend, accepting that I'm not the same as I was.
– Darla

Let me talk! Listening is important!
– Anonymous

Been patient with me when I was going through the worst of the depression and moodiness.
– Amy

Understanding that I might not have a whole lot of impulse control at times. .
– Amy

Taking up the slack when I needed it while still allowing me to be a full-fledged adult.
– Amy

Take the time to learn about my difficulties and learn how to best help/advocate for me.
– Kimberly

Took care of my 2-year-old so I could have quiet time at home.
– Amy

Called me and asked to have lunch just to check to see how I was doing.
– John

Offering me their guest-room to lie down in during dinner parties at their home.
– John

Having a friend, just being with me for a long weekend, just because they cared....and when it was time to say goodbye they hugged me, and long after I thought the hug should have ended, they just kept holding me until I stopped crying.
– Buster

Made an effort to learn about brain injury.
– Amy

Remind me of things I forgot.
– Marc

Don't try to "fix" me.
– Sonja

Gave suggestions to me, but never pushed them on me, allowing me to make the decision.
– Carol

Show me kindly a new way of doing the same task more efficiently.
– Naomi

Posted on BrainLine August 27, 2013.

Comments (110)

Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.

Loving me even when I feel unworthy. Listening when I try to explain how I feel. Being patient during conversations when I can't think of words or remember what I was trying to say. Being encouraging, but knowing when to back off. Picking up the slack on days I'm dragging.... Brittany

just held me tight while I broke down, and cried with me.  no advice, no telling me that I am wrong. just holding me and getting it.

It has been me, learning to take responsibility for my own life.

Understanding that I’m still me On the outside but feel differently somehow otherwise. I have a time with paranoias and trust and don’t always recognize people out of their normal or usual environments. People don’t know, but I know. - Just A nice smile makes my days better!!

Let me be me and believing me in our conversations without questioning my new abilities of experiencing life in full now.

That my lovely wonderful sweet hottie sweetie girt friend who is my wife stuck with me through it all and still loves on me like we are newlyweds.

Always say I LOVE YOU before leaving a family member and friend or just any loved one

Speaking quietly to me even when I get so confused and frustrated. Royace

Let me be who I am.  Accept me.  Love me when I am unlovable. Didn't run away or leave my life. 

Lillian K

Except me for who I am now

For being patient with my out bursts and moods. I cant help the way i am, my partner has the patience of a saint. Xx

Involved me in social settings.

I went 8 years before being diagnosed. In that time I attempted suicide twice, almost divorced, tried to do things I didn't do as a teenager.

Since being diagnosed absolutely no one in my family believes all the side effects it continues to have in my life. I was just sat down with hubby and daughter and was told "I don't have to be so negative all the time". Really? they don't even acknowledge the fact that there's anything wrong with me. The most helpful thing would to have someone to come along side me and say "it's okay to feel this way" instead I'm bombarded by how I should be since it's been so long, and I should be better by now anyways. I live in Mich. and the area I'm in no doctor is willing to diagnose because of insurance purposes. I haven't worked in a decent job since I had to stop doing daycare (it didn't bring in enough money). I'm just ready to give up all together at this point.

My true friends love me unconditionally what s blessing

Accept I'm different now and quit avoiding me and judging me. I do the best I can do 24/7.

Family and friends that keep trying to learn and understand, listen to me, love me, because of or in spite of changes in me.

don't medicate me, I had to be over medicated and got off that cr*p before I committed suicide, let me be me

See an Alternative Health Care Practitioner, an ND [naturopathic physcian]/ nMD [Naturopathic Medical Doctor]. They are Alternative only in the medication they prescribe. For NDs/nMDs, their medication is special natural medicines, which has been succussed or potentized, in a series of solutions. I was an ND/ nMD, but I had a TBI [a hemorrhagic brain bleed] in 2010.

Amen to your Comments: Let Me Be Me!

My woman luEllen loving me despite the mood swings and frustration, self loathing, forgetfulness, depression and the fact that I can become a stark raving lunatic like flipping a light switch. I love her so much

Don't stop asking me to go shopping with you, just because I have difficulty at times with noise and I'm a bit slower, I think family and friends think it's quicker without me and that hurts

Supported me unconditionally without me asking and killed me with kindness. 

I had a TBI due to a right frontal lobe intracranial abscess  September 2012.  I had the abscess drained, but it filled again, and developed an offspring. I had a second surgery to remove the abscess , and was treated for several weeks with  iv antibiotics. I presented as a full blown stroke, but quickly got full use of my left side with the help of aggressive physical therapy. You would never know I had ever had a problem. What doesn't show are the affects left on the inside. I have severe memory loss. I had to check in my medical files to find the year I had my TBI. I thought I was heading into my 3rd year. Timelines are a nightmare. I have such a problem trying to figure out when things happened, and I don't want to ask my husband anymore as he looses patience with me. In the last few months I have greatly diminished sense of smell and taste. I can taste the first couple of bites of things, but I  am not sure if this us just due to my memory of what they tasted like. I loose words! I will be talking and want to say a word, but can't remember it. I will describe the word to someone,and by the time they have given me the word,I have forgotten what I was talking about. I cry every day. I am so frightened that I will get worse, especially when my sense of smell and taste did not change until a year after my TBI. What else may be affected.. I want to lay down every day in the late afternoon,and could stay in bed for  the night, I don't sleep in that time in the afternoon,but often I do not sleep throughout  the night.  I used to enjoy going out for a few drinks with my husband and friends, but now all I want to do is go out to dinner,and come straight home. I used to ride my bicycle 15 miles a day and then workout for an hour. I have no urge to do either. I know I will never have the old me back, but how can I explain this to my husband! He us growing short on patience
Apr 17h, 2014 11:24am

I'd love to say something nice that someone has done for me since my brain injury, but it seems like I keep losing friends and family seems to be getting annoyed with me. No matter how many times or ways, I try to explain stuff, no one seems to understand. I feel completely lost, helpless, and worthless. For all of you that have someone there for you and they're are at least trying to understand, please do me a favor and tell them that I think they are truly awesome. Best of luck to all of you. If anyone wants to talk to me, just google F'N Mental and you'll find me. Hope you all have a great day and I'm going to try and find my happiness for the day somewhere.

My friend Amanda has never judged me.  Never.  She accepts the pain in the ass new version of me, and loves me as much now as before.  It is amazing.  Believe it or not, I am the THIRD person in her life that experienced a brain injury.  What are the chances of that?  When no one else can understand me, she does.  It helps more than she will ever know.

I am not a brain injury victim, but I have a friend that is going through a brain injury. It's only been two days and he's not been fully conscious yet, but the only helpful thing I could think of to do as a friend was start a fund on to help his family pay for things like a hotel room near the hospital, meals, gas money and lost wages. We've raised a little over $2200 in less than 24 hours! The website for my friend is

It took years for me to get to know and accept my new brother. I grieved over the before brother and then realized he still has the same personality!  I have written a couple of stories about him so far at

look for posts about Bob, or TBI

So thankful for the support system I have been blessed with. We were told "she will be back to normal in 3 weeks" after having brain surgery. If only I could remember the first 3 weeks post op at all and if the foggy last 6 months were more "normal" maybe more of my family/friends would of been more patient.?! For those who have yet left my side, for letting me discover ME with ease. My cup runneth over! Forever grateful to Taylor, Mitchell, Teet, Joe, Misty, Chrissy, Lou, Mom, Aunt Beth, Monette and my Bubbie for wiping the tears, battling the fears, laughing, smiling and just helping me feel alive again. You make my "rebooted system" run smoother even if it still has to refresh itself daily. - Trisha

My young children helped me dress myself and learn how to do everyday things because I was not given any aftercare once released from the hospital.  (My inpatient care exceeded the million dollar lifetime limit on my health coverage.)

Understanding that I sometimes don't know that I am asking the same question again and don't remember something said already.  More importantly, I am not doing these things on purpose.  Gentle reminders often help a lot.  Also, knowing that even though I may function like "normal" folks, I am a person with a TBI.

My loving son put up inspirational phrases around the house to remind me how important it is to take care of myself and how much I'm loved. So whenever I open the refrigerator, pantry door or a cupboard, there is a message reminding me of these things. It gets me through the difficult times.

Always tried to make me laugh and smile so that I could feel happiness in my life. Vera

After my TBI from a head on car accident in 2010 my family and friends have accepted and supported me. It means a lot to not have it pointed out to me when I repeat something or forget. Especially when I know I feel foggy. Love and support has made my recovery possible. #loveyourbrain

My wife never stopped loving me even though my children stepped back confused my parents wont talk to me and even my church abandoned me. I became someone else and yet she loves me. I owe her everything.

My family has been there every step of the way. They have rallied me when I don't want to work at recovery. They have hugged me, let me cry on their shoulders, cooked, cleaned, did laundry and shopping for me. Then they helped me do these things. 14 months later they drive me to appointments and take me shopping. They never batted an eye, that's unconditional love! Sheila

Making me realize what I'm fighting for which in turn made me work harder in therapy to achieve my goals

Allowed me to repeat myself of forgotten stuff id already said or dine without shaming

Offered me hope and believed in me.
took me outside and pushed me to go out for walked as exercise. put up with my behavior changes, tough me to accept the new me. understood my injury when i couldn't and helped me research it till i finally understood the cause of my re- occurrence symptoms. I still cry because I miss me so much so very much.
reading all the positive post on here that have had such good experiences since their brain injury. Unfortunately my story isn't that great: since my brain aneurysm in Oct 2006 I've lost my husband of 27 years, my job as a veterinary manager, my memory, my relationship with my child, my home, many friends and I've become a lonely woman living alone with my animals. Thank God for my critters...they accept me the way I am and give me great comfort.... Just NEVER knew that life could change like this in an instant...from one minute to the other....and to get back to the original question there's nothing special anybody (human) has done for my since my brain injury .... unless my pets count....they love me the way I am and give me the will to live
Allowing me to tell the same story over and over without reminding me I had already told them.
I just go about my day going nowhere. I don't think or feel that I've major probs from my 2 TBI's but when I think about it my short-term memory is appalling. Also Discontinuity ( gaps in memory and awareness and unawareness syndrome ) scares me. I'll just keep climbing the mountain and go do something like getting a job.
When I told them that caffeine helped me pay attention a little more easily, they did not laugh or try to suggest to me that Ritalin would surely work better.
My friend Raymond has an amazing insight about my brain injury and knows my financial situation. He owns his own construction company. My mom got me a mobile home to live in and he has used his knowledge to turn it into a real home. I call it my palace...and both of them did it out of love for me.
My hair was a mess from laying on it for six months that a friend took two hours to cut my hair, because the pain was so intense that we had to keep taking breaks. ~Gaia
Struggling with my husband's marital infidelity throughout our 38 year marriage is causing me greater stress with the short term memory loss resulting from my brain surgery in 2001. How can you help me after I've left him 6 or 7 times, only to return because the task was too complicated. Please help me!! I appreciate your support very much. Thank you. C. Wilson Brain Tumor Survivor
Love me through all the healing and craziness of my recovery. That person would be my daughter, Erin,my best friend.
Called me and invited me to social events when I felt like isolating......Learned about brain injuries and made sure the social events were ones I could handle - not loud places with too many people.
My husband took care of me...
Been patient,understanding & have stayed with me still today.
This happened to my very good friend....All I do is to be there for her whenever she calls if I can..She is a very sweet person...