Never Would I Have Believed...

Never Would I Have Believed …

Ten years ago, life as I knew it came to a screeching halt when my husband sustained a severe TBI. An avid athlete, he was hit by a car while out on a cycling workout. He lost his job, his identity, and his way of operating in the world. I lost the life we shared before his injury, and our daughters lost both of their parents to a frenzy of hospital stays, rehab, and reshuffling for nearly two years. I once wrote, “If I had a crystal ball to tell me my future, I swear I wouldn’t look,” because the future looked that dim, that full of darkness.

Fast-forward to now, 2013. Hugh’s personality has changed a bit, but more and more he seems like his old self — or have we just accepted the changes and moved on? He has regained his physical strength and his ability to enjoy sports again. He works full-time, attends an evening MBA program, and is trying to learn Spanish.

Our relationship is closer than ever because we now share a purpose: to help other families struggling with TBI. Our twin girls, who had just turned fourteen when Hugh was injured, are now grown and living on their own. They made it through college with very little handholding, and they are actively pursuing their dreams with the full knowledge that life is finite and meant to be lived to the fullest. I could not be more proud of them! The lessons we’ve all learned are still sneaking up on us.

Ten years ago, I never would have believed that:

  • I would ever feel safe in the world again.
  • I would ever sleep without a sleeping pill again.
  • I would know my kids would be alright.
  • I would ever see my husband work an executive job again.
  • I would ever see my husband ride a bicycle again.
  • I would ever stop worrying about money again.
  • I would ever feel happy and full of life again.
  • I would ever have written and published a book.
  • I would have found a way to help others that actually helps me feel like I’m giving back to everyone who helped us.

But I did.

So here’s what the most important lesson may have been for me. Life does go on, time does heal, children grow, and while I can’t control everything that happens, I can make the most of every minute and do everything in my power to choose peace and happiness over bitterness and despair, and in doing so, enjoy a life worth living every day.

Comments (7)

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My brother sustained severe TBI 6 years ago.6 years ago I didn\'t believe he would even look straight or ever smile, let alone laugh. But he is improving at an excruciatingly slow pace. And I\'m happy for those little achievements that once seemed impossible. I\'m so glad your husband has recovered. May you and your family have all the happiness in the world. Thanks for sharing your story. It gives people like me going through similar circumstances some hope that one day their loved ones will be able to lead a normal life. Love and Regards, Amina Agha
Well done! Time does heal (or people get used to living with their limitations), especially if they can give personal MEANING to whatever happened to them. Having a supportive family around you during your recovery process is also very, very important.
Your story is amazing. You deserve every bit of peace and happiness you have now after how hard you've worked. So few people have the strength and dedication you have.
What a wonderful testament to perseverance. Thank you for the hope check.
Lovely, Rosemary. So glad your journey has been rewarding & thanks for sharing.
Wow! I will remain hopeful after reading this as my daughter is 15 months post TBI and just discharged back home 3 weeks ago.....we have always to go but slowly I see the dim light at the end of a dark long tunnel of recovery and healing
I find your story beautiful that you had support. I am five years status post an injury and i feel a slight decline as social networks and mood greatly affected your story is inspiring! Ds