Starting or Nourishing Romantic Relationships After Brain Injury

Starting and Nourishing Romantic Relationships After Brain Injury
Question: 

Could a person with TBI start and have a healthy romantic relationship? My friend/boyfriend (who has a TBI) can go from bringing me flowers and telling me he loves me to other times thanking me for dinner like I’m just any friend of the family.

Answer: 

The answer to this question is — yes. Following brain injury, individuals can — and do — start and maintain healthy, loving, committed relationships. In fact, in studies investigating the stability of romantic relationships after brain injury, results have shown couples have less of a likelihood of separating than do couples in the general population¹,². However, this answer also comes with an asterisk.

In order for people with a TBI to maintain healthy, loving, romantic relationships, they will need support, encouragement, and understanding from their partner. While this sounds like a recipe for the success of any romantic relationship, there are specific ways in which people with brain injury will need to be supported. There are also commitments the people with brain injury will need to make to themselves, their partner, and the relationship, in order to sustain relational happiness and security over the long term.

The partners of people who has a TBI must first educate themselves about how brain injury impacts an individual. In addition to the frequently cited TBI challenges related to thinking such as memory, attention and concentration, and problem-solving, individuals with brain injury often experience changes in behavioral, social, and emotional functioning. In a relationship, partners often read the emotional and social cues of their partner in order to gauge the stability of the relationship. However, after TBI, some disruption in emotions and challenges with communication are to be expected. People who understand brain injury can learn to interpret changes in their partner’s mood and their partner’s willingness to interact socially in new, more accurate ways. Education can also help partners not to personalize behaviors that may be more related to brain injury than a reaction to or reflection of the relationship.

In addition to building a knowledge base about common symptoms of TBI, partners can learn strategies for new ways to de-escalate an argument, identify early signs of their partner’s stress or anger, and share their own needs for emotional response or connection with their partner. Again, while these may be important skills for any romantic relationship, the way in which a partner de-escalates an argument when their spouse has a TBI will be different from the approach used by couples where brain injury is not a concern. Reading information written for caregivers, attending family member support groups, and meeting with a therapist who has familiarity with brain injury are all solid ways to build an effective skill set.

Of course, maintenance of a healthy relationship always requires the dedication of both partners. People with brain injury can improve the likelihood that their relationship will succeed by attending therapy focused on emotional regulation and compensatory strategy development. Additionally, by focusing on building communication skills, asking for help, and focusing on the positive, survivors can enhance the emotional connection they have with their partner.

Finally, when a couple enters into a relationship after one person has had a brain injury, they may want to consider taking a proactive stance by attending counseling with a couples’ therapist who is familiar with TBI. Both emotional and physical intimacy can be impacted by brain injury. Couples counseling can assist both partners in developing strategies and coping skills that can enhance the intimate connection both individuals feel with one another.

Posted on BrainLine April 12, 2013. Reviewed July 26, 2018.

About the author: Emilie Godwin, PhD

Emilie Godwin, PhD, LPC, MFT is a faculty member and licensed clinician at Virginia Commonwealth University, with a specialty focus on couples and family counseling after brain injury. Currently, she serves as the Family Support Program Coordinator for the VCU TBI Model System projects.

Emilie Godwin

Comments (122)

Please remember, we are not able to give medical or legal advice. If you have medical concerns, please consult your doctor. All posted comments are the views and opinions of the poster only.

I'm a survivor of a hit-n-run 21 years ago. Left with a long list of injuries my TBI was the most severe. Since I met someone in 2018 our relationship has been a continuous rollercoaster. We both contribute to our demise but my TBI takes the cakes. I don't understand (and most likely never will) why my temper gets way out of control and the words that come out of my mouth are ( there is no explanation) I'm getting to the end of my rope. I need a TBI specialist in my area. Thank you.

Hi my partner received a concussion 6 months ago and has recently started to say she doesn’t feel a lot towards me (the last 1.5 months). This lines up with the same time she reported of low mood and she tells me she is feeling ‘yes/no’ with me. Our relationship was absolutely perfect and had no problems whatsoever so I don’t understand where the no comes from and she doesn’t either. She wants to break up as she thinks that’s how she truly feels but then she gets the ‘yes’ feeling and wants to be with me…. Is the ‘no’ concussion affected and is it common to see?

I recently have fallen deeply in love with a wonderful lady with TBI we love to be with one another and we do make each other feel good.but after a few months of being together and having a great love life she gets upset and brakes up with me.i ask why and she won't tell me why.
I love her with all my heart but how do I show her and how can I avoid the pain one losing her every time she breaks up with me.she tells me I'm the best lover she ever had and she compliments me and she puts me on a pedestal. Then she re
Then she breaks my heart. how do I know that she loves me.
I'm writing a great job so that I can be her care giver.
I just need any help so I don't lose the best thing I ever had.

Please help
Sincerely
Jerry L Abbott

Prior to my accident and ending results of left temporal love, frontal lobe brain insurance right temporarily live PCS, i was in an 11 year relationship with our 6 year old daughter father. I did not remember anything or anyone prior to accident. We tried and it just didn't work out. I felt nothing for a man I spent 11 years of my life with, I eventually reported drugs and surrounded myself with negativity.
Then I found my now boyfriend whom is my positivity and my rock. He's patient and very loving because at times I can be very difficult. He has my back in everything I do. He doesn't critisize me or make fun of me. He don't take advantage of me and he loves me. We still have a long way to go but with him I found I want to continue to live he made me want life again.

What a compelling topic of conversation. Suffering from TBI myself I always wonder if im destined to be alone. Looking at the comment section of this site I've concluded that there's a strong possibility friendships, and romantic relationships will continue to elude us. I will also say that if you asked 100 people to spend time with you chances are at least one will say yes. Confidence is the key.

I have a TBI but I am a man that desires a relationship with a woman. I would do anything for her . I am lonely. I want a normal life. I want to be loved. I and anyone with a TBI does deserve love sex and a life. Reading these stories has really brought both joy and sadness to me. Glad for the ones that have found relationships and sad because I havent. I have a great personality and am very nice and caring for a woman. Before my accident I always had dates. I was an optician making and fitting eyeglasses before my accident. If anyone has any suggestions on how or where I can connect I would really appreciate it. Thank you

I have a 30 year old daughter with TBI, is there a safe place for people to connect..? She is also so lonely..surely there is a dating web site or something, a p,ace with no judgement where loving lonely people who have had a setback..can find kindred spirits.

My boyfriend had a brain injury from a car accident. When we met he was happy living life couldn’t stand to be away from me. We broke up and got back together. He goes through these moods where he wants to be with me then he don’t. Is this normal and can we be together and last. I don’t want to move on. He means a lot and I’m hoping that he can work through this and be how we were.

Reading everyone’s comments here made me feel good that I’m not alone. I’ve been chatting with this guy I’ve know for 6 months. At the very beginning, things were going good. We flirted every single day through text. Till two weeks later, he got into a car accident. The early stages of his concussion, he talked about us having a future together. At the time, I did not know anything about tbi and it’s symptoms that comes along with it. Anyway, things were going good and it started to go down hill. He isolated himself, we wouldn’t speak for days, he would get drunk and behave differently and text me talking about his ex and posting pictures with her. It made me kind of sad and when I confront him about it, he would lash out at me and tells me that he would never text me again and a few days later, we would text. It was an off and on situation. Now that I’ve learned more about his concussion, I can not put the blame all on him. His concussion has no filter and he can’t control the things he says and does. I’ve learned to be patient with him and give him all the space he needs. We really like each other but it’s scary seeing him going from the most romantic and nice guy in the world to a different person I no longer know. Thank you all once again for listening to my story and make me feel like I’m not alone. God bless

I need some help, please advise me on what to do. I am a severely TBI'd 47 year old man, who got injured 16 years ago. My wife and I have been married for the past 9 years, and she just started withholding her affections from me, because I don't know how to be romantic. She has me all wrong, though. I originally got married in the year 2000, and I used to be extremely romantic. But that marriage ended after I gave her 4 years, got injured, and then I received 4 years from her, before she filed for divorce. Another relationship that ended after 9 years. So, please help.

I am only months into a relationship with a beautiful, amazing lady with tbi. We had an amazing immediate connection when we met, we’ve fallen in love and I’m dedicated to her and us.
Before this relationship I knew nothing of tbi and her down periods which included her emotions and anger which were confusing and hurtful to me until she began to open up to me about the effects of tbi. I’ve been learning a lot. Including some interesting reading here with stories I relate to. I understand more now that when she’s angry that things aren’t as personal as they sound. I try to be as supportive and understanding as I can as I know I don’t know exactly how tough it is for her. Generally when she is down and frustrated I’m patient, try to say not too much but still helpful, try not to let myself get angry and ride it out. Am I handling things about right? Do people have particular suggestions?..

I'm in that now with my wife we been together 15 year's and married for 11 and now she doesn't feel the love or she say she can't give me love cause she feels nothing she fell out of love with me. niceness23@hotmail.com

My boyfriend just recently woke up from his brain injury; he knows his name and can move his extremities but forgot who his mom is at one point, so his memory goes in and out but hopefully that will go away when the pressure on his brain goes down. But anyway he hasn't seen me yet due to Covid and I was wondering if dying my hair was a good idea. I'm a bright blonde and always have been with him but I recently made an appointment for in about a month to go a little dark like a grey. Is that a good idea to do right now or I should get my answer once I see how is reacts with me.

I am in a 3-year relationship with my boyfriend that has a TBI. He introduced himself to me as someone that sustained these injuries when he was 18 years old (he is now 43). I immediately began to search for information about TBI so that I could understand it and how it affects a person. As we moved further into the relationship the things, I noticed in him made me also search on how to be in a relationship with a person with a TBI. I am as my wit's end now with doing my part to be a supportive girlfriend, but I am not going to keep letting him belittle me. He discredits my research and even my education (I have a BA in Psychology and I am in school for my Masters in Mental Health Counseling). I do not know what to do to make this relationship work. I fear it will be over soon.

I'm 16 and I've been texting this guy for 4 months now. He is really sweet and loves to make jokes all the time. He told me he was in a car accident last year and that he has a TBI. At first, I didn't think much of it, but after meeting him I did realize he was a bit different than what I expected. We had a great time together and I can tell he just wants to have the same experiences as everyone else, like having a girlfriend. I fully understand where he is coming from and I want to be the one to give it to him, but I sense there may be some struggles. I'm honestly just wondering what I should expect.

I’m in a relationship with a man who has TBI. We have a child together and he’s the sweetest person. He was hit by a car when he was 15 and in a coma for a week. He is impaired however and it seems sometimes like his maturity level is stuck at that age of when he got hit. Is it possible for him to grow as a person or will he always remain a 15 year old stuck in adults body?

I think he will readjust with time

I met a girl who was affectionate, giving, and loving about 15 months ago. She had a severe case of TBI 8 years ago from a boating accident. The first 9 months everything was perfect between us. We gradually fell in love with each other. She then slowly began to exclude me from family get togethers and vacations. She also texted, called and dated me less. Her father knew this before, but she “fills in the blanks” and believes her own negative versions of our conversations with each other. At first I thought that she was just pulling away from me because that she was just growing tired of the relationship, but after talking with her father I knew that she had a problem. She has had 2 relationships with men that each lasted 9 to 12 months prior to meeting me. She also has several chronic severe physical problems since her accident. She is also going through a divorce now from her husband of 16 years. Whenever I tried to talk to her about why she was pulling away, she would either ignore the question, refuse to answer, or tell me that she was stressed out and couldn’t give me more in the relationship at that time. After 15 months we broke up. I’ve sent her materials about TBI relationship problems since the breakup. I don’t think that she believes that she has a problem.
What can her father and/or I do, if anything, to help her realize that she has a problem?
What can be done to help her with her memory and perception problems?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences. I have just met an amazing and quality man about two weeks ago. We did text eachother for about 3 weeks before meeting. When we first met he was honest about been in a car accident 6 months ago and sharing that he is in rehabilitation but just started a month ago. He shared that he has migranes a lot and severe pain in his back which goes into his leg. He and i really connect well, commumicate well and laugh a lot. We both really like each other a lot and he is wanting to see where we might get to. I feel confused because he is in early stage of getting physio, massage and not sure if now is the time for him to be thinking of getting into a relationship. We are only friends at this time. I feel torn right now and this feels a bit overwhelming for me. I am a support worker, support individuals with special needs and challenges and that is a mentally draining job already. Just wanting to share as i already care for this wonderful man but realize at this time he has nothing to give if we were to be in a relationship..feedback of anykind would be appreciated.

Laura, I am finding that this whole subject around relationships after a TBI or stroke is quite a difficult one. Its perfectly acceptable if you were with this person prior to the incident but the views are different post injury. They become classed as a vulnerable person and open to exploitation and then anyone entering into their lives after the injury will be faced with this scrutiny from others. Human rights act says that they have the same rights as everyone else and should experience love and sex like everyone else. your needs will never be fully met and you seem aware of this and as two adults I am sure you can both work it out. We can't help who we connect with and
prior to brain injury would you both have had the same connection? you and
i can see beyond the impairment and love with our hearts and souls but for others they will never understand why anyone would choose to be with a person that is not able to protect or provide and will always raise the question ''what are you getting out of this''?

I'm seeing a guy who has TBI. It's been almost 4 years. He is in a home to help with learning I guess but his mother is somehow still his guardian. She doesn't want me involved as I want to be. Is it illegal if he sees me? She is his guardian but he's 22.
I'm confused... He seems normal to me. He's a very funny guy that makes me feel amazing

This is an eye-opening realization for me. I've had a TBI since 1990, when I was 15. Many of my gfs have told me that I wasn't happy with them, but I was happy with them. In 28 years my zero affect has set in more, I guess. I was smiling, but looked in the mirror and saw that I looked annoyed. What can I do?

My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. He recently was in a car accident and diagnosed with severe TBI. I guess my question is will he remember me when he wakes up? Will we be able to have the relationship we once did? Will he know that we loved each other and were in a relationship. We lived together and I love him very much. I just feel so lost and have never been in theis situation before.

I know how u feel my boyfriend got n car accident too I know he still cares bout me & loves me but I’m scared he will forget me & it’s frustrating having to deal with him forgetting everything like the wonderful times that was spend together or how he said he feels & it’s like he’s totally different person but I know he’s still n there somewhere but it’s hard to deal with & I’m scared I’m going to push him away or he will push me away without knowing it & it will be over & I don’t want it to be over

Hey, to help his brain return as much as possible to the "known self"... get him to listen to music that he uses to listen to right from as early to latest you and him can remember. Same with smells. Watch movies he used to watch as a kid etc... the brain is composed of billions of neurons. You want to stimulate as many of those as you can. I myself suffered a traumatic brain injury. Sometimes I taste something I haven't had since I was a kid and shed tears because it triggered long lost memories. Same with smells, movies etc...

A lot of those neurons got damaged. But neuroplasticity is always there. We have 5 senses that record information into memories.... just have to reconnect those pathways. Look at old pictures, music, movies, smells, go to places he grew up in and around so he can regain his sense of self. Hope this helps :)

April 26, 2009 my TBI occurred I was with the same girl since February 08 my relationship with that individual did not work out not saying that yours won’t but I changed as a person apparently she says I’m not the same she doesn’t know who I am anymore and I’m the reason relationship Didn’t work out I hope that’s not the case in your situation if you haven’t left him and you truly love him stand by him when I open my eyes after a 3 1/2 week coma and saw her standing there I remembered who she was I never forgot her I couldn’t speak but I knew who she was I hope he remembers you but it’s gonna take a lot of work for you and him to continue your relationship but if you love him you will make it through it

I have met a guy who has had a TBI he’s sweet but he gets so angry when he doesn’t get his way I feel that he LOVES me but when he’s angry, he scares me! Once he calms down he’s sweet again.

I am a TBI survivor so this is where I’m speaking from.
He may or may not remember you. Depending on the injury. He may remember things different as they were.. he may not remember anything.. or just pockets in his life (this is me). Due to injury of the brain he will probably be different in many ways. For example I was always very organized etc.. when I had my injury I couldn’t cook, talk properly, I relearned my daily routines, relearned to shower etc. Everything takes such a long time and understanding! If u can get counseling it would be best. For you and for your bf as well as for together when he can handle it. (But u should get it soon!). Hope that helps

Hi Jenna. Good insight. I too am in the first year of my tbi and just met someone I like. The thing is he didn’t know me before tbi so we are both getting to know this new person... me. I just started reading the book Feel Better Fast by Daniel G. Amen, MD. Chapter 7: love your secret weapon. Get it... read it, as I shall.
Faith, hope, love, patience and laughter. Make it be a journey you both travel.

I am a Tbi survivor the accident occurred when I was 22 from a single car accident & yes I was drunk. I have had bouts with alcohol & has been through the rehab program at Rediscover. Successfully completed the program I find myself looking for a way to get back to the old me.

I was dating my boyfriend for six months and we fell madly in love and moved in together. He recently had a car accident and was diagnosed with severe TBI. I guess my question is what happens if he doesn't remember me? Will he eventually remember me? Can we get back something of what we had? I'm just so lost and dont know how to support him through this.

The man I have been dating suffered a TBI over 5 years ago. We have been together 3 years. So much of what has been written is true, except the missing piece is lack of emotion. My boyfriend can function, has a job, drives, and suffers the common short term memory loss, brain fatigue, and the lost feeling. But it is the lack of emotion that has torn us apart. He no longer can feel. Whether happy or sad, the actual feeling can not be felt inside of him. He has told me he loves me, but that is from knowing what love felt like prior to his injury. His feelings are dead. He no longer has the zeal for life, and basically goes through the motions. I have tried, but this past Sunday I asked him to move out because I felt more like a roommate then someone wanted and loved. It is very sad, because, he will move on and exist, but never really live, and we had a wonderful first year together, but year after year he continues to spiral into a world where being alone is his real comfort.

Hi that sounds like me I have an injured head injury and short term memory loss
It’s sad one day I’m happy next I’m sad
Im hot then cold we still think we’re are the normal person we were before it’s very hard on us and u guys to

Wendy would you please contact me this is way too deep for me to even comprehend my girlfriend of 4.5 yrs is affected by a moderate to severe TBI injury dating back 5 yrs now and she recently has let go of our relationship. She says she loves me and forever will but something in her body won't let her come back. This happened only 2 days ago. I'm so upset but for the first time reading, learning, and understanding what it is to live with an injury of this nature. Clay.

My boyfriend of 5 years was injured in a blast force in Iraq in 2007. We have gone through it ALL and come out of it until we had a baby.  My son is now eight months old and because my boyfriend doesn’t know how to express any emotions, doesn’t talk to me, acknowledge him, and sleeps a lot or studies, we recently stopped our living arrangements.

It’s very hard. I understand and feel for you! I get through it by not taking his actions (mostly lack of actions) personally. I’ve learned that even though they may shut down, they're still capable of getting help. People treat us the way we allow them to. Not to sound crude, but his TBI is not a blanket excuse to allow ourselves to put up with someone who doesn’t put in the work. They will get help when they’re ready. Until then, I’ll love him from afar while doing what’s best for our child and me. He also rarely leaves our home, personal hygiene has decreased and he feels better when he’s alone and we’re not living together.

It’s heartbreaking and you’re not alone! My unsolicited advice: Lead by example and move forward with your life. Being productive and content with our lives will encourage them to do the same if they want to continue the relationship. Best of wishes!

Hello,
My wife and I have been married for 10 years, we have 4 children. Just over 2 years ago we were in a car accident. She suffered a concussion that was missed by everyone in the medical system. This turned into PCS and mTBI. She has a lot of symptoms when she doesn't get her brain rest. I didn't understand it at first but i have done a lot of reading and research. I relied heavily on the medical system, which was a mistake. She has brain fog, hemidystonia (hands), tinnitus, eye problems, walking problems, balance problems, memory problems, neural fatigue, neuropathic pain in arms and legs, neck problems, muscle problems and so much more. It is heartbreaking watching her go through this. We have recently found a NUCCA trained functional neurologist who has been helping in so many ways. In the last few months she has been talking about the new person that she is. I understand that the injury has changed her, i am very supportive. She has told me a few times recently......"i don't want to be here with her family (referring to the wife/mom before the accident), these are her kids not mine. She started this family life, i don't want it".....
She goes on about leaving sometimes. I know and understand that this is injury talking but it doesn't hurt me any less to hear these words come from my wife.

Has anyone had to deal with this? Does it get better? I don't know what i would do if she left us.

Thank you.

Hi I’m Tiffany Mckee I was involved with a very Violent man I had poast natel I ran away from my hubby and son for a person who hurts people long story short he threw me off a balcony in surfers paradise on the 29.10.08 was only the first floor balcony but high enough 18 mtrs I landed on the front of my head were so I start I died 3 times on the way to hospital I lost 1 Litre and 400 mls blood so I needed a Transfusion I broke my back Fractured my ribs L1and L5 were broken I was given 24 hrs to live I was in an induced Coma for a very long time then rehab omg leaving how to walk talk ect I suffered an injury head injury and short term memory and I have post-traumatic stress as well lucky me my hubby took me back and our son was so young I went home thinking I’d be the same person no I wasn’t I was different I’m very hard to get along with some times and I didn’t wanna be with my hubby and son so I left I broke there hearts again that was 11 years this October my accident I live with guilt my son is so beautiful my ex hubby re married it’s like I’m happy by myself some days I’m happy some days I cry but I miss my son every day now I get him every second weekends and half school holidays but I wonder if I didn’t have a accident would I have had more kids been a normal person
Please understand what ur beautiful wife has she needs ur help xxoo

Hello,
Speaking from having a spouse with TBI whom l live with 24/7 and also have became the main and only caretaker ❤ we are 2 & 1/2 years in and its been rocky and it feels like its gotten worse but in reality my spouse has healed and recovered drastically in that and can in my opinion make a full recovery to a Level 10 based of the TBI Levels 0 - 10 the only problem is the hardship of dealing with the emotional side of what goes on towards me because of my spouses TBI limitations and be patient and not personalize thei actions towards me to re-teach my spouse almost like I have to love and re-parent my spouse from infant to adulthood to re-connect my spouse dots so my spouse can re-learn EVERY thing again and have that knowledge again in my spouses own head. Its hard, tiring and draining mentally, emotionally and spiritually when I have no support. I educated myself a lot about TBI to understand it and get strategies. It does get better if you put the work in to help your spouse get better and progress because this injury takes away their ability to help themselves and their ability to know any better since they literally don't know anything.

My spouse is a survivor of TBI and has been healing for 8 years now and now WE recovering and overcoming the limitation and effects of TBI together their: the most powerful first love to show and re-teach emotions, honesty to re-teach morals, kindness to re-teach compassion, patience to re-teach listening, compassion to re-teach empathy, understanding to re-teach thinking of others, respect for one another to re-teach standards and the most influential knowledge to help and guide us on the right path AND faith to re-learn core beliefs of right and wrong we together begun reading the bible to re-teach FAITH AND BELIEF again! It's a burden to carry this load especially alone but it does have the great gift once a TBI SURVIVOR recovers and they do recover in time up to 10 years depending on the encouragement around, support and willingness!!

Help it gives you some light to an almost hopeless situation because their is hope and love around you guy's!!

Hi, not sure if you'll see this, but it's worth a shot. I'm someone who is currently recovering from a TBI and it sounds like I've gone through a lot of what your wife is experiencing. I'm at the point where things are looking up, but it's a long bumpy road to getting there. Is your wife seeing a neuropsychologist as well as the neurologist? I don't know how much they overlap.What about using anti-depressants? I was on Prozac for a while and it really helped me, though I initially was wary of it. Diet can be important as well. Working with a traditional chiropractor in addition to NUCCA can help too. Something also that could really, really help is vision therapy, if you can find someone near you. As I said, it's a long road and I still go through mood swings, but they get fewer and farther between as I have started to adjust, heal, and accept what has happened. Wish you all the best.

Has any had success in finding an online Post Concussion Syndrome spouse support group?

Is it healthy for relationships to allow your significant other to freely use their cell phone for hours? With TBI, the format is easier to communicate

If anybody else does this beside my wife who was ODed on topomax- I give her room/ she needs it, it's different. It feels insulting to be unwanted

Cell phones?

My fiance has TBI. Sometimes out of nowhere he cusses me and hurts me (mentally) How do I handle this

Late reply but if you are still looking at this dont run you might just be running from the best tihing that would happen to you my fiance and i have been together off and on over the last three or so years they've been rocky trust me we now have a nine month old beautiful baby boy he just the sweetest thing ever when he dose not cry for his mama but i first met her when she and her freind had broken down on the side of the road i had over shot them but got off then back on twice to circle around and help them out for me as soon as she approached me there was this instantaneous connection i could not explain it her vibe was off the charts for me she was just stunningly beautiful an i thought to myself i was gonna marry this girl that was before I knew that she had a tbi from a car accident and the day we met was the day she had been released from her second surgery she had explained this 2 me afer a couple weeks of talking along some troubling situations in her past relationships she too has those types of mood swings there isnt much we can do to help this because 9 out of 10 its just a flash of something that had happened i her past relationships during those times all you have to do is try to remember that its not there fault and they dont mean the thing they say during these episodes and so many people have already left them hanging their sanity barely intact and ask your self how much you love this person for me its 150% with all my soul and i would never leave her alone untill god deems it so ive been studying her situation for a while now and ive made progress in some areas and regressed in others but i will never give up on her as long as i breathe she means the world to me so i refuse to let the world leave her behind i will continue to try until i can unlock the love passion and understanding that lies within her and i will be proposing to her i will dedicate my life to an for her she is my center of gravity that holds me to the earth without her i would probably be in a worse spot in my own live and would forever hemave my loyalty and commitment for as long as i live because i truly love her.

Run for the hills. Not worth it.

I know this sounds crazy but he doesn't mean it. He is frustrated because either things did not go the way he wanted. or he knows he was able to do that task before and can't now. I suffer from a TBI from 1989 I was 19 years old. I get mad at a drop of the hat. I am 48 years old and things have changed for me but it took a long time. Be patient just know you are a good person and it's not your fault and it's not his. The TBI changed him and there is no going back.

I am rn for a pt, tbi. He tells me to go home...frustrated. He used to really smile and be happy when i was there. Stress? Cant deal w it!
Just sad... what to do...

Talk it through with him almost child like since its is a hard pill to swallow for a TBI person to realize they have to be somewhat raised again in an adult form its humiliating, embarrassing, and scary because of the vulnerabilities they realize people can take advantage of.

I have had a severe tbi, and with it I was diagnosed with something called PBA (pseudo bulbar syndrome). We can have damage done to the centers of the brain that control emotions and reactions. Talk to him about the issue. If this isn't the man he was before or isn't a part of him, talk to a doctor. It is most likely part of the brain injury. They have medicines to help, as they helped me very much.

This could be a sensitive subject to approach with some partners. They may get upset or angry at the suggestion something else is wrong with them, say you’re just using it as an excuse for other things. Any suggestions?

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