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TBI Ten Years Later: A Mother's Story Continues

Comments [221]

Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie, for BrainLine

TBI Ten Years Later: A Mother's Story Continues
Paul Coskie

It has been almost ten years since traumatic brain injury (TBI) crashed into our lives, changing our family forever. People always ask, “How is your son Paul doing now? How are you, your husband, the other kids? How has your family survived?” I usually give my polite, standard answer: “Oh…thanks for asking, we’re all doing fine. And you?” But the reality is — unless you have experienced the loss, the heartache, and the ripple effects that brain injury can inflict — you cannot possibly understand the magnitude and the seriousness of the life-altering implications. The long-term impact that TBI imposes on the injured person, family members, and friends is unthinkable. The nightmare of TBI relives itself day after day, month after month, and year after year. Grief and sadness persist even ten years later, despite all the miraculous gains my son has made since his initial injury.

After the shock of Paul’s accident and TBI diagnosis ― when I understood the reality and severity of his injuries, knowing that they were likely to include lingering deficits and handicaps ― I wanted to bury my head under a pillow and slip under a thick blanket of denial. But to survive, I realized the necessity of being strong-willed and maintaining an attitude of never giving up. Everyone — myself and my family as well as the doctors, nurses, therapists, and even Paul himself —would have to draw on inner resources we had not known existed.

In the early stages of Paul’s injury, he was immobile and essentially in a vegetative state. We suddenly had to become his eyes, his ears, his voice. We needed to advocate for his every need. My husband and I fought to find the best medical, financial, educational, legal, vocational, and rehabilitation services available. We never stopped advocating for our son’s needs or for those of our family. As days turned into months, and months turned into years, I do not know where our energy or drive came from to venture into areas we knew nothing about. But there was no way we would stand idle without trying to help our son possibly regain even some of what he had lost after being struck by a car while riding his bike at age 13.

We came to realize that the outcome of each TBI, like each person, is unique. A person’s outcome depends on the specific circumstances and severity of the injury, immediate and long-term medical care, rehabilitation services, and the individual patient and family. We also learned that many people with TBI plateau relatively soon after their injury, without making huge gains. Sometimes these injured people and their families are left to cope with so much beyond their control: cognitive, memory, behavioral, physical, emotional, and social changes … the medical bills and never-ending insurance claims … the everyday demands of cooking, laundry, cleaning, yard work, going to the office, maintaining a marriage, and keeping other children’s studies and activities moving forward.

Rehabilitation: After many months in ICU, our son was stabilized, but the urgency continued. Getting him into a rehabilitation hospital was key to learning how to speak, to walk, and to perform basic tasks again. We knew Paul’s recovery was questionable and that he could possibly remain bedridden, wheelchair-bound, or cognitively impaired. But the months of grueling shifts of speech, occupational, and physical therapies began to pay off. Paul fought back like a champion! We began to see small gains — he blinked his eyelids, lifted a finger, uttered a word. Seeing the healing begin was powerful and moving. Yet Paul still had a long way to go.

Reintegrating Home: Anticipating Paul’s release from the rehabilitation hospital, we were faced with a new set of questions. What would we do next? Paul was still using a wheelchair and a walker. He was still struggling with memory and speech loss. He still needed assistance with everyday activities and self-care. I worried about how we were going to cope. When my husband or I were home, we’d tried to focus on the needs and cares of our other children, while managing the daily chores that made the household run smoothly. When we’d been at the rehab hospital, our only focus had been to take care of Paul. I was not sure how, or if, it would even be possible, to mesh these two demanding worlds into one.

I knew our family would be under more stress and would have to surpass the extraordinary level of support and help we were already extending to each another. We had to think about all aspects of home nursing and medical care, to obtain and install all assistive and adaptive equipment, and to prepare Paul’s siblings for the homecoming of their “new” brother. We suggested ways for the other kids to help, and we gave them permission to back off if need be. The caregiving was both never ending and exhausting. We had to recognize our own limitations, shed any guilt, and ask for help from our community, friends, and family.

Outpatient Therapy: Continuingoutpatient therapies was important to help Paul regain more movement and thinking capabilities. We logged many miles driving to and from his new outpatient facility, 20 minutes from home. I was shocked at how many injured or maimed people came and went every half hour. Missing legs and arms could have been one of the criteria for entry. And the therapies went on and on and on….

Reintegrating Back to School: We tried relentlessly to set up home tutoring through our town’s special education department to get Paul the mental stimulation he needed to continue recovery. But after investigating special needs schools and other facilities, we made the hard choice to try to reintegrate Paul into the public school system. We recognized the challenge because specific educational processes and styles used in teaching TBI students are very different from those used in teaching individuals who have permanent birth defects. Paul needed an Individual Educational Plan (IEP) geared toward his specific needs. He underwent a neurophysiology examination, which is concerned with the relationships between brain function and behavior and considers how injury may affect learning, communication, planning, organization, and relationships with others. The neurophysiologist evaluated Paul’s cognitive abilities and deficits and provided teachers with suggestions and methods to stimulate and improve new learning. In other words, the evaluation was used to help develop Paul’s IEP. When Paul returned to school, the break from constant rehabilitation allowed our days to regain some degree of normalcy.

Friends and Family Relationships: All of our lives had changed dramatically since Paul’s accident. I know Paul felt the absence of the phone not ringing, and of his friends no longer coming by to hang out. With the time that had passed, most of his friends had distanced themselves. Some were just typical self-centered teenagers, but others could not relate to the slowness with which Paul now talked and walked, and could not comprehend the differences, though slight, in Paul’s personality. To his peers, Paul appeared childlike, odd, and different. To adults, Paul was an inspiration of hope. His subtle humor made everyone smile.

Over time, my husband and I and our other seven children began to realize two things: the person we once knew might never be returned to us, and recovery would be lifelong. Because all of our lives had been put on hold for so long while we coped with such staggering changes, we started to nurture all of our family relationships. We gave permission to each other to start moving forward, to begin to go back to our daily routines, including even recreational activities.

Getting a Job: As time went on, Paul’s mobility and his physical, mental, and cognitive abilities improved. He no longer needed the special school accommodations that we had fought for so desperately: the personal aide, the small classroom atmosphere, a personal computer, scheduled rest periods, books on tape, and so forth. At Paul’s high school graduation, he walked to the podium to receive his diploma — no wheelchair, no walker but a clear understanding of all that he had accomplished. But leaving school also meant leaving the only support system we knew. The fight would continue, and we would have to again advocate for Paul to help him find employment and become more independent. Working with our state’s rehabilitation office, Paul gained employment at a local retail store where he started as a greeter, quickly moving up to sales clerk and then cashier.

Higher Education: Paul is not the same person he was before the crash. He walks off-balance, though to his family, it is a blessing he walks at all. His voice is slow and monotone. Yet, we are extremely grateful that he can speak. Cognitively, he may be slightly slower to process information, to form a thought, or to respond to a question. But the reality of his ability to react with maturity, humor, and intelligence is beyond our belief. The tremors and shakes that affect the left side of his body make it hard for him to do almost everything. But his persistence and perseverance are mind-boggling. Ten years after Paul sustained a TBI, he volunteered at the hospital where his life was saved. He speaks at rehab hospitals, medical facilities, and preventive organizations talking about TBI and the importance of wearing a bike helmet. Remarkably, he is in a higher education program, attending Lesley University (The Threshold Program) in Boston, where he is living independently, surrounded by other young adults.

Ten Years Later: Despite all the miraculous gains my son has made over the years, my heart often remains heavy. When I look into my husband’s or my children’s eyes, I can still see the lingering fear, the permanent scars.

To deal with the “new” person who emerges after brain injury, families must mourn the loss of the “old” one who is gone … and then move on to embrace life’s challenges and changes and to love unconditionally. The fragility and meaning of life have indeed become more real as my family has found new qualities, insights, and purpose to our days that would not have surfaced if the injury had not happened. And even ten years later, the sound of an ambulance or the sight of a hospital can evoke tears as we relive and experience flashbacks to that unthinkable day of the accident.

Ten years later, my heart also remains heavy as I think of other families who will receive the unthinkable news that one of their loved ones has sustained a life-altering injury. I understand all too well the grief and uphill battles they are sure to encounter. I also pray that these families will reach out to get help and resources, to have the strength and will to advocate, to never give up … and to keep hope alive.

Written exclusively for BrainLine by Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie. © Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie, 2010. www.dixiecoskie.com.

Comments [221]

I am 56 years old and have been taking care of my 37 year old son for 7 years now due to a motorcycle accident as well as his children every other weekend. My husband and I argue all the time over taking care of him and it is very stressful. Does anyone else have to deal with this. I am not giving up on my son.

Apr 2nd, 2017 8:58am

My mother suffered a TBI injury at 85 years old and we were told that she would not make it through the night. When she did , we were told she will never come home that she will have to go to a nursing home for the rest of her life. The drs say her injury was massive. She has made a full recovery which I will blog about soon to tell everyone the things that we did in the hopes of helping others

Mar 17th, 2017 8:57am

My mother is 84 took a fall and hit her head coded a few days later during dialysis, they got her heart back to beating they did emergency surgery on her brain she also has a bad heart. since surgery she has not waken she is on a ventilator now has pneumonia as of now the doctors says she has brain damage not sure how much but states her brain was shifted with the bleed they are not giving out much hope for her at this point for her recovery we are confused as what to do we don't want to let her go but also don't want to have her suffer any more the doctors wants us to decide whether to take her off the ventilator and consider putting in a trach and feeding tube it has now been 9 days since surgery she has not awaken we don't know what to do.

Feb 21st, 2017 3:11pm

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
km 2500 wheelchair

Keep Posting:)

Feb 7th, 2017 3:37am

I am very sorry to hear about your daughter. I was 42 when I suffered a DAI from a scooter accident. I was in a coma for 2 months but like your daughter had my wife by my side advocating for me. I am now able to talk, eat regular food and walk again. My left side is affected the most but I am no longer partially paralyzed. It's a long road but as long as you continue to be her advocate and stay along the long road with her, many gains can be made. Take care of your daughter and yourselves.

Feb 3rd, 2017 2:24pm

My son was hit by a car on the 11/10/15. At only 9 years old. He suffered severe tbi and had the whole front of his skull bone removed. He had a bleed on the brain an bruising all over. No other injuries. He was given only a 3% chance of survival. He was kept in an induced coma for 2 weeks and then the dr slowly reduced meds to wake him up. When he did open his eye's there was nothing. We we're told that he would never walk, talk, eat, ride a bike or go to school ever again and that i would be taking care of my son for the rest of my life. We was then moved to a high dependency ward where the ladies from physio would come and hoist him into a chair, he also had to wear a neck brace because he couldn't hold up his head. The spasm's we're the worst. Constant kicking to the point he would nearly fall off the bed. The doctors said that it was normal for a TBI patient. Anyway, exactly 3 weeks and 3 days after the accident my son spoke. Although very quiet HE SPOKE. From that point on he started to recovery very quickly. He started feeding himself. Talking normally (not monotone) then started slowly walking again. Although he would get tired quickly. He surprised everyone so much so that they asked if they could use his case for research. We wanted to keep his brain active so in February, nearly 5 month's after the accident his school decided to let him back half days with the support of a independent teacher to basically follow him everywhere and help him with his work. In March he asked if he could stay full day's because he liked being back so we let him. My son had to wear a specially made helmet while we waited for the custom bone plate to be made. He had surgery to fit the plate in April 2016. The second longest 8 and a half hours of my life. All was successful. My son now runs around like nothing ever happened. Unless you seen the scar's you wouldn't have a clue. We was in hospital 3 months. When we finally got home i decided that i would treat him like i'd always treated him because i didn't want to baby him and make him think he couldn't do thing's for himself anymore. So anyway he is almost back to himself. There's always going to be a slight difference to his quality of life as before he loved sports and today he plays but not as he would of and his memory isn't to bad but he does forget sometime's but we can live with that. I ask him what he remember's from being in hospital and he remember's most of it so that's a good sign. I mean i barely remember what i had for dinner two days ago. My only fear for him in the future is seizure's as a family friend reckon's he will definitely suffer with them after stopping the meds. I just have to have faith that he won't. Never lose hope guy's and don't let them tell you your child won't make it. I didn't, i walked out telling them they didn't know the strength of my son and i was right x

Feb 3rd, 2017 1:02am

My daughter is 26 years old and was a Special Education Teacher when she was struck by a hit-and-run driver.  While in the ICU we were given the unimaginable news that she might sleep for months or years, because of her TBI called Diffuse Axonal Injury (DAI).   I told one doctor, "but both of her eyes are open" and his horrible response was "the lights are on but nobody's home".  Had we listened to this prognosis we may have placed her in a long term acute nursing home.  But instead, we placed in her a pulmonary specialty hospital for two weeks and then she was fortunately admitted into a not-for-profit rehabilitation hospital, even though she has not following any commands yet.  Three days after being in the rehabilitation hospital, she followed the command "squeeze my finger".  She was doing fairly well for the next two weeks, but then she began having muscle spasms, which were brought on my severe constipation from the pain killer "Norco".  After going back into inpatient rehabilitation we have taken turns staying with her, "talking to her" and advocating for the best medical care that her insurance would cover.  Talking to her, reassuring her and encouraging her, has in our opinion made a big different with her recovery this far.  Cognitively, she is doing amazingly well, but I believe it is a combination of prayers, dedicated doctors and therapists, family interaction and my daughter's desire to get better.

It has been 4 months since her accident and she has made miraculous progress and she is now talking, the TRACH was removed, she is on a chopped menu diet and is learning to walk again.  All of the therapists are wonderful and they are devoted to their patients, however it is my daughter's desire to walk again that is making the difference.  We will not know what will happen when she comes home from the rehabilitation hospital, but reading the "TBI Ten Years Later" story and other success stories has given us an insight of what to expect.  She wants to be a Special Education Teacher again, but we are not sure what disabilities she will have.  Her hands and fingers are very stiff, her left arm is not functional, but we are seeing some improvements in movement.  Her hamstrings and quads are very tight, but are loosening up with medication and exercise.  Yesterday, the Physical Therapist pushed her wheelchair up to a exercise bike and she road almost one mile.  The smile on her face brought tears to our eyes, she was so happy to be moving her legs.  She may need special braces for her feet to keep them straight, but we are waiting for more results. 

We are hoping for a full recovery, but we also have to accept that it may take a couple of years.  The bottom line is we are working through this as a family.  My daughter's tragic accident has changed our lives forever and we will continue to support her.  I wanted to tell my daughter's story, but also give families some hope that miracles do happen, but it takes persistence and the desire of their loved one too want to get better.

Jan 8th, 2017 12:08pm

I have been living the nightmare for 8 years now. At that time my 16 year old daughter suffered a stroke. She has physically recovered but was left with brain damage. She now becomes violent at the drop of a hat and everything makes her anxious. She requires 24 hour care. We have seen many different doctors and tried many types of medication. We only see mild changes. I am very afraid for her future. She is soon getting to the point where no one can handle her. My heart goes out to each and every one of you. Belinda

Dec 26th, 2016 11:09am

Hi. I'm living a very similar nightmare with my 20 yr. old son. Your story gave me more hope and faith. I'm not going to give up on him. It's been a very tough, painful and agonizing 17 months since my son's TBI incident.

Dec 20th, 2016 3:44am

I too have a TBI and I received it back on April 24th, 2015. Reading this would've brought me to tears but with the brain injury, it's hard to shed even one. Reading this also gave me a sense of enlightenment and appreciation for how I've ended up after the accident compared to most people that have received TBIs that are 20-21 yrs old, yet alone just in general for TBI victims. People still don't see that anything is wrong with me or that I have trouble with certain things. Not even my own siblings. It's so heart warming reading stories of fellow TBI victims' experiences and knowing that I'm not the only one, so thank you for sharing your son's story.

Dec 10th, 2016 7:58pm

I have had a TBI for 10 years coming up very soon. It is a hard struggle every day no one understands. I have been called brain damaged by my own family and a nurse when I messed something up. There like don't pay attention she is brain damaged from a car accident. I am over 50. It has pretty much ruined my life. I fought hard through the anger, not remembering family. . Now I am just tired of it all. I can honestly say I wish I would have died. I don't want to live anymore. People don't understand.. it is ME and I don't understand what is going on at times. Throw in PTSD and seizures. Ya life is nothing. I pray to good to take me out of this human body and take my spirit back home. I am not like the All American family. I am alone. You see my family and kids don't want me around. I am not an asset in society as I brought them up to be I am a liability so I am told. So you get government money enough to barely live. Then you end up in a few weeks homeless, were you live the house is being sold and you can't go. I have only one option left. To re-do the accident day the way it was suppose to turn out. I am not living on the street. No one will help. I can't work so you can't get even a trailer to live in. You need a job, governments 700.00 doesn't cut it for lot rent utilities and food. They tell you no. So the victim just keeps becoming victimized. I guess it is a good way to get rid of the liabilities.

Nov 30th, 2016 1:06am

I had a TBI 27 years ago and never really understood how big that was until I got a concussion in August 2016. I knew I still had problems with short term memory and behavior (increased agitation) but never let those hinder my accomplishments. My family told me the doctors said I was a miracle as I died in helicopter in route to hospital, was in a coma for 4 weeks, life support for 4 days, Glasgow coma scale 7. I had PT, speech and occupational therapy to learn to walk, talk and tie my shoes, etc. I was only in hospital 2 weeks after coming out of coma and didn't look back. I kept pushing forward, had 2 kids, have had multiple MVA, went to school for medical assisting, raised my kids as a single mother, went back to school for billing and coding, graduated with honors. Until I got a concussion this year and had problems that delayed me going back to work, I didn't realize the effect the previous TBI really had on me. I had to have Neuro-Psych eval and asks my family about my past injury. When I reported this to the doctor, he said " I shouldn't be here, have kids or accomplished everything I have! Only 10% of people with a TBI ever work again." I've always had faith but have an even better understanding of the power of prayers, as I recently learned (again) of all the prayers I had 27 years ago. Without that, I wouldn't be here, so thank you for a rebirth and remember to never give up!!

Nov 14th, 2016 8:43am

Thank you for sharing your personal story. I resonated with so much of your family's experience. Six months ago our 16 year son suffered a TBI after being struck by a car riding his skateboard, no helmet. He's our only child, the light and love of our life. He is making incredible progress but the struggles for him continue and as his parents we are in a learning and action mode. We are grateful everyday to have our son alive and most days we are ok when we stay in the present and not focus on what was or what could have been. I am sure at some point I will stop bursting into tears at the site of an accident or the sound of an ambulance. Reading your words was very reassuring. 

Thank you.

Nov 6th, 2016 10:19am

I had a severe traumatic brain injury 15 years ago and was in a coma for 6 weeks.I then had to go to rehab for a year to learn to walk/talk and everything. This Tbi I suffered still hinders my memory and I have no sense of smell, but I am grateful to be alive. Never give up hope!

Oct 26th, 2016 8:34pm

Well hello to all my cohorts of severe brain injury. People my story is literally a life long occupation with brain injury but I'm still pumping and loving the daily obstacles and challenges I have to contend with every day. It all started when i was a baby before i could walk(and belief or not i can remember this activity) you see, in my old days our mums used to bath us on the kitchen table because it was higher of the ground for warmth,well i was at the stage of beginning to move, but my mother she never new this phase of life had begun, and i was out of the bath being dried and she turned to close a window and my big brother ran between us and of coarse i lent over to see and fell from the table.that happened twice, Then i had a motorcycle crash at the age of 25 and that I thought would finish me off, but im still here and like i say "pumping"ive had major afflictions all of my life and as i have grown i have adapted to every change, scenario that i have encountered and that is where the work is once you have completed your major rehab work.I call it work because thats exactly what it is "WORK" But on a positive note, the hardier  you work the more changes you will notice and a lot of the times, only you will notice them,so appreciate yourself and move thoughtfully strategically, intentionally and remember to be positive in every thing yeah`.                                

yours faithfully


Oct 26th, 2016 7:19pm

Thank you for sharing. My 19yr old daughter was struck by city bus 10/30/15 and diagnosed with TBI. She is unresponsive but now able to track with her eyes. Truly blessed that she is still with us.

Oct 24th, 2016 4:06pm

I myself suffered a severe TBI when I was sitting on the trunk of my friends car and he pulled off as a joke. Left me in a coma for 6 weeks and I had to go to rehab for an entire year. I still have severe memory issues and sleep disturbances which I am trying to work on currently......HAVE FAITH and never give up.

Oct 24th, 2016 1:18pm

Today is 10 days since my 18 year old son's MVA. He has a severe diffuse axonal injury. We are out of ICU and on a neuro step down unit. Trached, catheter and feeding tube are in place. GCS is 7-8. Not sure if or when he will wake up. This busy vibrant young man lies there sweating from his fever that comes and goes. His family waits for his eyes to open to see what is next. :(

Oct 20th, 2016 9:30pm

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Karma Fighter C Wheelchair

Keep Posting :)

Oct 18th, 2016 7:15am

5 months after my 26 year old's accident and no improvement at all. All he can do is breath and blink. Hospital wants to send him to nursing home 10 hours away. We have no money, no insurance, no family support, and I don't know what to do where to turn. Looking it's patient assisted euthanasia which I know the guilt will eat me alive. I don't want to even live anymore myself. Nightmare is an understatement. This is something you read about other people's lives. why is it happening to my baby?

Oct 17th, 2016 2:56pm

Hello, thanks for sharing... My son suffered a severe TBI closed head injury on Nov. 29th 1995, he's 27 years old now... It's been a long journey!!!

Oct 3rd, 2016 7:26pm

My sister was hit by a car 16 days ago, and now suffering a severe DAI brain injury. She is 26 years old. The car that hit her drove off so the incident is considered a hit and run. I was there when it happened. She lost her pulse for moments, but luckily an off duty paramedic was there to do compressions on her immediately. She was rushed to a top trauma hospital in the area. She was in ICU for 12 days and transferred to a regular hospital room for one day. She is now in a LTAC. She is breathing on her own but remains in a coma. She opens her eyes and moves her neck, arms, and legs sometimes. She is not following commands such as following us with her eyes or moving her fingers when we ask her to. I pray every second of everyday she can make a recovery from this terrible accident. Some of the Dr's have not been very optimistic and it's extremely disappointing. My sister is young and healthy and I know she can pull though from this. It's going to be a long road to recovery but I believe in her. I just want her to be okay. If you have a similar DAI brain injury story or any advice feel free to email me at scelme90@siu.edu

Sep 25th, 2016 12:44pm

Thank you for sharing. We are at the beginning of our journey. My brother has been in a coma for 3 weeks with a tbi after fainting at work. At just 32 we have been told to give up numerous times by the doctors only to have him surprise the neuro team. I've been told to say my goodbyes to only haveseveral miracles take place after they've been said. Just today they could perform surgery when surgical intervention was not an option for 3 weeks. I know our journey as a family is just starting, but this gives us hope that some sort of recovery may be possible.

Sep 17th, 2016 8:17pm

Reading this was like reading about my son who at the age of 14 years old was hit by a car while bike riding. The accident happened in 2003 and my son remained in icu for 3 months in a coma. After his accident we brought him home and he now requires complete care 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. My son is now 27 years old and six foot tall. I so miss the little boy that i lost that day but have fallen in love with the new him. Thank you so much for your sight it felt good to hear that there are others just like us and were not alone.

Sep 17th, 2016 10:26am

Thank you for posting this. Your story is so similar to mine. We fight so hard everyday. I feel like no one really understands. You get it. I'm sorry you get it. But thank you for sharing. I'm not alone.

Sep 9th, 2016 3:10pm

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Scooter for Handicapped Person

Keep Posting:)

Aug 30th, 2016 2:12am

Next month, September 15th , will be 10 years since my daughters TBI, she has made tremendous strides as well. She will now be starting beauty school and becoming a cosmetologist, not to mention moving out at the beginning of the month getting her own place and living on her own!!! All of our friends and family can't be more proud of her!! I am wanting to get together a party for her in her honor, but ideas for this escape me. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!! Marie irishkiten@icloud.com

Aug 26th, 2016 6:18am

Ya my thoughts and prayers to everyone dealing with tbi i was injured feb 20th of this year and was not released from hospital til april 8th i broke 16 bones broke neck and broke spine in three places im not supposed to be walking or talking but i am but i am a dang wreck in my brain i go from a to z in a heart beat my brain freaks out when i hear loud noises and my personality is even different. But im trying im trying extremely hard

Aug 9th, 2016 9:10pm

I felt like I was reading my own story. Our family has been through so much of the same as yours. And as you know our lives will never be the same. It has been 12 years since my sons tbi. Told he was brain dead and wanted us to donate his organs. Absolutely not!!! To this day he walks talks and is semi independent. But will never be the same. I totally feel your pain

Aug 9th, 2016 5:38pm

My son got severe TBI at his daycare at 21 months old. Pushed off a slide onto cement floor. Emergency surgery, stroke, paralysis, and like everyone in this position knows, you just go into that mode of "Thank God he made it to this and then that..." It led to divorce and loss of my business and other. I had a nervous breakdown and he lived with his dad. Now I am well again but he is 19 and OCD. I want to know what a parent who does not living with him can or should do as far as discussing it.

Jul 12th, 2016 7:27am

Dear Mother and Father of your son with a TBI, My husband and 2 daughters have survived taking care of me for the past 10 years after I suffered a TBI with seizure disorder. My husband is suffering now and it is heart breaking to see the pain he is in. Your determination give me hope he will feel better. Thank you

Jul 7th, 2016 9:49am

Thank you for this commentary. My husband's 1 year TBI anniversary is in 15 days and he is due for another surgery to replace his cranial piece once removed to allow swelling. He requires a metal plate. Although not horrible news, definitely a crush to his positivity. We have only each other meaning he only has me and I have, well-me. 6months ago the 1 year anniversary seemed like a light at the tunnel, however, it is not by any means. I am trying to stay upbeat but it sooooo hard. Any suggestions are welcomed. Keeping him positive is mandatory but easier said than done of late. You are spot on about the reminder cues-hospitals alone are terrifying to me. Just so much and not a big enough filter. But, thank you again for sharing your experience. It helped.

Jul 1st, 2016 5:29pm

Thanks for sharing your experiences. My mother had an TBI 5 years ago at the age of 51.  She spent 18 months in rehab trying to relearn the basics. The  injury meant she never recovered her speech and had poor cognitive and physical function. Her wellbeing declined 6 months after leaving rehab hospital. We have been battling the disability care system  for 4 years (which is thankfully free in Australia) and our family has refused to accept no as an answer. Mum hit rock bottom 12 months ago and we sent her to a another neurologist. Turns out the TBI caused Parkinson's type symptoms which has been working against the rehab all this time. Last week she was talking for the first time in 5 years, she wants to move back into her own house and is no longer reliant on a walker.

Jun 27th, 2016 2:51am

Keep strong. I have a question about this situation because I'm kind of in the same situation. My little sister was 3 years old when she was diagnosed a benign tumor. I am her 13 year old sister and I just want to know how to get her back to walking because she is miserable just watching her cousins run around and chase each other.I know you can't guarantee me that's this methods work but anything that has a good chance of working on her would be great. Sincerely , nina

Jun 25th, 2016 3:28am

Hello, the adage that you don't know until you experience is apropos. My mother had a fall in April, and as she is recovering I have been doing as much research I can to find answers to questions that I couldn't get from any of the neurologist so far. Understandable that each case is unique in this type of injury, TBI. She suffered a skull fracture and encephalopathy but fortunately did not undergo surgery. She is 76 and other than not driving was independent, living in her own home. We live abt 3 miles away and she was with us most of the week at dinner and participated with us regularly. In addition had her weekly church social gathering with few friends. So now she was in rehab for almost two months and the combination PT, OT, and speech therapy she went from bed ridden and puree food to soft solids and now walking without the walker. As each day progressed and I could see her gaining her strength, it looked as if we could continue with the lifestyle we were accustomed to. What we over looked, mainly since the rehab offered 24/7 care, was the mental side of recovery. The rehab was focused mainly on the physical side of recovery, which was phenomenal considering her condition when she was first admitted. The rehab center catered to her hand and foot. This is a blessing but also a curse. For 2 months she was literally bathed, dressed and fed. Wonderful and appreciated. The problem was that she did not have any activity that would mimic what she did living on her own. Granted she definitely had symptoms of loss of memory, fatigue and major decrease in cognition, but now we are faced with getting her familiar with such simple task as understanding to go to the refrigerator for something to drink. Another major issue is for now she still needs someone to stay with her at all times primarily for safety reasons as she is still unstable and susceptible to fall. As I have become her caregiver, I am sadden when I realize that she may very well live out the rest of her life in this condition. We had a lengthy talk with our young teenage children that this could be how grandma will be and I think they are understanding the situation how ever this is only the beginning and we may have several years. But I have to realize that we will have to reorganize our day to day routine in order to accommodate my mother. To have a sitter from a home health agency the rates range from $15-20 per hour. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a benefit from medicare or insurance (other than longterm care) that will cover unless Medically necessary. It would appear TBI and conditions related to such doesn't qualify as Medically necessary. While I can't imagine taking care of a child with this condition, I certainly appreciate the work and heartache of taking care of a loved one who suffers from any mental condition. I pray. Charles

Jun 23rd, 2016 9:53pm

This story is amazing and heart warming,and puts back the hope and faith in my 11 year old son's condition. We were in a fatality december 5 2015 and my son suffered severe traumatic brain injury, and is bed ridden, with a g tube to feed. He has came a long way from the odds of him surviving being slim to none. It's terrifying and I am so lost on what to do next, but this story really is inspiring. God bless, Jessica and tristian

Jun 8th, 2016 3:29am

Its a Friday morning at 6 30 am. I am sitting next to the hospital bed where my husband of 24 years sleeps soundly. Last night i was trying to give him his night meds when his g tube got clogged up, we both did not sleep all night because of this. Feeling tired, i remembered how it feels not to be able to sleep for nights on end. I have become his 24 hour care taker due to a heart attack he suffered on Aug of 2015, three days before our oldest son's wedding. He was not breathing for 25 mins before paramedics could bring a heart beat back. He collapsed in the middle of our church and now has anoxia brain inj. Being a pastor's wife i resorted to praying. He had a clogged artery and had surgery through his leg, he was not responding. In the icu he had water in his lungs and could not breath on his own. He had tubes everywhere. all drs adviced me to disconnect him, except one. At the same time his whole family turned against me since they are from another country and did not fully understand the concept of the term vegitative state. Dr. told me to ask my self why i wanted to keep him alive, they said i was being selfish. People would visit and pray for him, and they would say that for moments he would open his eyes and look firmly at them, others saw tears rolling down his cheecks. 9 months now, and he is walking by himself, no therapy, in fact he just got out of the hospital bed and wanted to run away, he is also eating. He does not yet talk, but i can understand him when he moans or points or tries to sound the word out. Yet, i live with an open wound in my heart every second of my day. His memory is not there, he keeps on asking me who i am. He is like a small child, and i have become a mother to him. I long for my strong protector, for my pastor. Things have gotten easier, since he goes to the bathroom by himself when before he used to wear undergarments. He sleeps soundly most of the nights in our bed but likes to go downstairs and continues to sleep all morning on his hospital bed. Going out in public with him is interesting since he walks lopsided, moans and is always holding a rag in his mouth cause of the excessive saliva. We get many, many glances and stares. Some peoples faces express disgust, others sympathy, still others curiosity while others look like they feel sorry for us. I however walk proudly next to him while holding his hand. I find my daily strenght from God, and i live one day at a time. When i wake up, i thank God for that day, and the same thing at night. People in a comatose and vegetative state CAN hear everything that is being said about them and around them. Being a pastors wife, i know of so many people that can testify about that. I did not allow anyone to speak negatively around him, not even the nurses or doctors. I always kept music playing in his room and there was constant prayer too, so that he could hear us. I believe that someday he will be preaching again. Prayer is a powerful thing, dont give up. Dianaarizpenew@gmail.com

Jun 3rd, 2016 10:52am

I'm 51 years old and have been permanently disabliled 12 years ago when I was at my worse then ever, it was like sudden depression from several things that were happening all at once. Sadly my husband left me approximately one year before being mentally disabled, I also went through an early full hysterectomy, my brother and his wife were divorcing and I grew quite fond of her and not to mention I loved my nephew dearly and her and my nephew moved to Kansas, I live in Calif. I could go on and on about how many sorrowful events that took place 13 to 14 years ago. The Dr. Put me on all kinds of medication that wasn't doing anything positive for my mental health, so my M.D. did all he could and because it was not working they sent me to a psychological specialist that worked with medication for all different mental illnesses. It took some time trying this and that, but finally he seemed to get my depression and severe anxiety under control and also got my sleep meds down to a T as well. He diagnosed me with bipolar syndrome and for the life of me I wanted to know what that was and why me, so I read all I could and still couldn't comprehend why I had it. I read that it's usually in the genes and is heriditated from a parent. We'll nobody in my intire family on both my Father's or Mother's had ever had any mental problems. I also read that it means the chemicals don't mix like they are supposed to, giving me an example of how oil and water don't mix and they separate from one another. Finally after all these years of the way my parents treated me so different then my 2 older brothers and also combining all the unusual things they were teaching me and me looking back and remembering that at the age of 5 I did not wake up out of sleep and I knew that the setting was different but, I did not know what it was that was different. I now have put all the puzzle pieces that were given to me by my intire family members and have came to the realization that something traumatic was going on and in the midst of trying to get to safety I also hit my head very hard because I have a huge hard bump on the back of my head. I have one memory vague memory before I had been traumatized from what I'm thinking now may have been a big fire in the house and I believe we were all upstairs in a house I don't even remember. I believe my Dad jumped out of an upstairs window and broke a couple of ribs and was able to get a ladder for us all to get out. I'm gathering this theory from all kinds of things that have been psychologically told to me over the years. My mom told me when I was like 6 that she once had a kitchen fire and my Mom told me when I was real little like referring to like 3 that my Dad had a ladder up against the house and when they turned and looked at the ladder that I had climbed up it on my own. One thing I know for a fact that I did not climb a ladder is because they would've never had a ladder any where near my play area which was the back yard and my parents watched out for our safety very very well. I just went to a therapist 3 times a month ago and found out that my insurance is shady and said their were none available here in my town where I see my shrink (meds dr.) My regular M.D. documented everything and it's under investigation. So, I did enjoy my 3 visits with that therapist but, they found me one right here in town same building I see my other specialist and my first visit with him is in 3 days. So my whole point being is something traumatized me and I obviously hit my head hard for the bump to be that big at my age that tells me when I was 4 the hit on the head on my small head had to be severe. So the outcome of this tragedy put me in a coma and when I came out of it I had no memory of my past. So all these years my brain has been imbalancedesigned because I have no memory of the most influential years of our lives. My very close 2 years older brother just recently told me that I need to regress and he used himself as an example and said those dr.s are good, he said they got me to remember stuff that I forgot that made me ball. He's referring to me of course and when he said they made him remember things that made him ball I believe he is referring to other siblings. I had a big sister because I have a picture of her and I also believe I have an identical twin. The removed them because they knew my brain wouldn't remember them anyways but they new my heart would know something was missing. They did an awesome job to get me where I am now and I believe the vale will be removed and I will be able to remember what was happening during the event of the head injury and that once I get past that fear of remembering I also believe I will remember where we lived and how many brothers and sisters I had and I will be able to reunite I will be well, I don't deny I may still need thereby to learn how to really live from only knowing how to adapt all my life. I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I also believe Jesus has been helping me every step of the way to getting better. God is good all the time. Prayer works too.

May 31st, 2016 9:45am

In response, i am coming up on 10 long years. Yes friends go away, life is no longer what it was. I call it the un seen tragedy. It is so hard too do what you used to do with ease, people don't understand your giving it your all, they think your lazy. It has caused fractures in our family. Sometimes i wish i was not here anymore. Because you word search and people mistake what your really trying to say. That caused horrific consequences that should never have happened. They are so afraid of me talking to my grand babies that i rarely get to talk or see them. Let alone my kids. I would not wish this on anyone. What i wouldn't do to re-do that day. I feel isolated. I feel tired, i have given up hope. That is sad. I have been told if i had to live like you i would take my life. You are not productive in society. I see how people see me. I hurts deeply. More then there words. They talk like i am not even present. Aka brain damage was my new name when i messed up something. This is my 10 year .

May 16th, 2016 7:01pm


This reply is for the recent comment that was left May 12th, 2016. I also was in a pedestrian vs. auto collision. Next month it will be 5 years ago and I have no memory of the accident. I was diagnosed with a sever DAI TBI, seizures, bleeding brain, a few fractured limbs, and lost of strengths on the right side of my body. I have no memory of anything, and I was in a vegetative state for few weeks. I literally felt reborn had to learn how to walk, talk, eat, and just be independent again, after living on my own being in college and everything.  But with that said, your son is in there he is just lost in his brain but you can help him find his way back. Talk,read, scold him when he miss behaves. I know it is hard but treat him as you would if he was okay, to a certain extent. I believe repetition and routine is key. I'm not a doctor and I am only 25 years but I speak from experience. I was lost in my head and I still remember what I was living in my head during that time. My thoughts and prayers will be with your son, you and your family.

May 13th, 2016 8:46am

Hello, I read the comment made recently, posted May 12th. I too was hit by a car 5 years ago and had a severe DAI TBI. Every TBI is different and all I can say is don't give up on your son. He can hear you. Talk to him, read him stories, surround him with people he knows and loves because it will help him. I went from being in a vegatative state to being back to almost normal. I say almost because, i have my issues of information processing, and I am going through some anxiety lately. But it will be okay, your son is literally just lost in his brain, but you can help him find his way back. It may take some time but it will happens. Best of luck and my prayers are with you! Deysi

May 13th, 2016 6:01am

My son was hit by a car 4/19/16 so just a little over 3 weeks and this afternoon he got a trac & a feeding tube in his stomach...am scared out of my mind of the outcome will be..he will be going to Atlanta, Georgia to their rehabilitation center cause there's not one in Nashville, TN...he's only 9 and the fear of the unknown is the worst feeling. He has TBI but other than that no trauma to his body! The doctors tell me every child & recovery is different. He opens his eyes but still has that blank look he moves but not on command! I just would like him to walk and talk again and have a normal life I just don't know if my expectations are too high they said it could take weeks, months or a year to tell what kind of recovery he will make! If anyone has any feedback or been in the same situation or just let me know what to expect i would love to hear from y'all. My email is chasityivan101@gmail.com thanks in advance!

May 12th, 2016 1:40am

Hi everyone. Thank you for sharing your stories. This is very helpful. I want to know if anyone had experience where doctors and nurses was very negative and advising you to unplug your child  (letting him or her go). Have anyone experience where your child is only 2 or 3 months old and they have a brain damage due to lack of oxygen? My niece was 2 months old when she entered nicu dept. She is now 3 months old and she've been in there for 1 month. The baby is breathing on her own with less help from the ventilator, all organs is working except the brain damage, she is not brain dead, she does not use the cooling blanket since she can maintain her own temperature, she does not gag,  she is using the tube to eat, she does squeeze her hand as you hold it, and she open her eyes but her pupil doesn't move or it does dilated. The doctors doesn't know the cause and they have not diagnose her. They believes she have anoxic brain injury.  We have been getting different information from doctors and nurses due to this issue. Did anyone experience the same situation if so please email me at cutieyaj84@gmail.com. We need some help and feedbacks. Please let me know your situation. 

May 11th, 2016 10:59pm

Very inspiring story, as a survivor of a severe TBI myself i can relate to some of this. Mine happened as an infant, but i had many struggles through school and in my personal life. I still struggle with friendships and this leads me to better myself by learning a new programming language or doing research on TBI. That's what lead me here. The daily let downs, feeling alone, the struggle to keep what i call the "other me" from coming out when i get frustrated about something, the epilepsy the neurologist is sure my brain injury brought on, the anxiety that drives me mad. I get to the end of my rope too often and i am surprised i am still alive after the depression and anxiety. Glad your son is doing good, i am sure he will do amazing things. He already has, he has inspired another survivor of TBI to preserve. Thank you for sharing.

Apr 19th, 2016 11:39pm

my son was struck by a car on his dirt bike july 4th 2015, The trauma dr's said he would not survive the night. On July 20th the day his father died 7 years prior from a motorcycle accident and TBI my son was scheduled for his trach and feed tube. The trauma dr's still wanted me to let him go. The Nero Dr. is the only one that gave me hope. my son was awake but just stared thru me, I asked him to please give me a sign anything , so I would know if I should let him go? Or go thru with the procedures. He looked at me moved his eyes looked at my mom than back at me. He was in ICU until 9/29/15 and is now in a rehab for TBI. He is still not walking???? Can anyone tell me how long before he will walk? He is remembering his family, daughter, fiancee. He will describe his home and mine. I am coming to the realization as you all said I need to let go of my old son and embrace the new. I am becoming depressed as I realize this is my life forever and no idea what he will be like, will he walk again? will he work again? will he be violent?  I feel there is no closure in saying good-bye to the son I knew, it breaks my heart. I feel like a need a memorial or something to say good-bye to my old son, but that would be crazy! No -one would understand that.

Apr 12th, 2016 9:02am

I have read the post.  I'm just beginning the TBI process. My parents were involved in a car accident in January. My 81 year old father has suffered TBI because of the accident. He was just moved to rehab yesterday for the start of his journey to learn to walk again, and to be capable of somewhat taking care of himself. I worry myself day and night how his outcome will be because of his age. I have been through most of what I've read, and have been doing it all by myself since my mother was involved in the accident as well and hospitalized, and needed her own rehab.  I'm so scared that he will never have full quality of life again, although he was fairly a very healthy 81 year old before the car accident.  I pray to God day and night to allow him to regain his quality of life. Thanks for sharing all your stories. Reading some of them gave me hope, however for the most part they were all younger ages then my father that the TBI happen to. If anyone out there experienced TBI with anyone in their late 70's or 80's please contact me your experience at tmm0327@dejazzd.com   Thank you, and God Bless everyone, and their families who has to deal with TBI. It is truly exhausting and heartbreaking

Apr 12th, 2016 8:38am

Thanks for sharing your story. My son Charles 31 years old was in a car accident and suffered TBI . The doctors said he has diffusion axonal injury and would not make it through the night. It's been 2 months and he's holding on. With this type of TBI 90 % stay vegetated and 10% regain some form of daily living. I am fighting with the health insurance company Humana Gold to have him moved to a Rehab/Ltac facility. The insurance company wants him moved home. I'm living with a family members now in tight quarters. I filed for his SSI and it was denied. I am waiting on disability but the process is endless. God I can't believe the hospital would release him home in a vegetated state, needing around the clock care, feeding tube, and a trachea with no skill help. My heart aches and I am so lost. I have no training on how to care for him. Please help someone give me knowledge on what steps to take. williams.tina@hotmail.com 

Apr 9th, 2016 12:48am

Thank you very much for sharing your son's and your family's story! I can't even begin to tell you how much it helps me. My son is 23. A man tried to kill him and hit him in the head with an axe. I'm beyond grateful that he's alive after everything he went through. Physically he's recovering quickly. His right hand and arm are a bit more affected. His speech and understanding words need quite a bit more work. Also there are several behavioral changes. It's hard to look at my son and know he's different. I love that you said we have to mourn the loss of our loved one's personality. You are absolutely right! I feel like I'm just going day by day hoping things get better but trying to prepare myself if they don't. Things are still really early in his recovery so I'm hopeful. Thank you again for adding to my hope! Candy C.

Apr 3rd, 2016 2:04am

I am a TBI survivor, 34 years post.Yes it felt like forever.  I am still overcoming barriers, but I look at that as part of every day life.  I was given roughly 5% chance of surviving.  I was flown from Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario to Victoria Hospital London, Ontario.  Under care of Dr. R. Delmeasto, head of neurosurgery.  I was in a coma for about 1 month while in London.  Once stable, I was flown home where I remained in a coma for about another month.  All of this time of recovery, I've always had full family support.  With excellent support, I finished my high school and I graduated from University of Windsor with an Hon. Bachelor of Social Work.  I have worked many jobs over the years.  My most enjoyable employment was working PSW in an ABI residence for 19 years.  If anyone wishes to contact me for more information, please do not hesitate to contact me at casey.1@sympatico.ca. I know and accept the fact that I will never be the same person I was before my injury, but I am working on being the best person I can be, for rest of my life,  in my situation.  Thank you.   God bless everyone.  Brian L.

Mar 15th, 2016 8:48am

Thank you, thank you for sharing his story!  I have been reading all theses comments and stories for days now.  I am hoping someone can help me connect with the family who commented and shared their story of their 2 1/2 yr old that fell from a window from 2 stories high.  How do we connect with these families of similar tragedies?  My son is almost 7 and is 1 1/2 yrs post his window fall with TBI.  It is hard to find families to connect with that have similar situations in pediatric TBI's.  Any help would be appreciated.  Contact me through FB:  I Believe in Colter.

Mar 9th, 2016 11:52am

Thank you for sharing yours and Pauls story. It resonates with me as do many of the other stories shared. It's been almost 8 years since our then 13 year old son fell 30 feet from the top of a water slide platform to concrete. He suffered a skull fracture and severe frontal lobe brain injury. As he lay there unresponsive I prayed to our God to all me to keep Connor. I knew this was selfish but I begged him to just let me keep him in whatever form or condition it may be. I won't lie, the last 8 years have been unbelievably difficult as many of you are well aware. I always say that I could not start healing until I realized that I needed to mourn the loss of Connor. We have our son but he is a completely different version of himself, and we love him unconditionally. Once in a while we see a sparkle of our old Connor but mostly we are adapting, supporting and advocating for a new Connor. We as a family have learned to celebrate the small successes and not to take one day or minute for granted. And mostly we remind Connor that there is a reason his life was spared and that he is destined for great things and a great life. We will NEVER give up hope that one day he will again have a passion and interest in the sports he once loved, or to find his purpose in life. My heart aches for Connor and all the other TBI individuals as it is a long and painful journey in recovery and I pray that anyone or family that experiences this continues to have the strength and love to keep fighting and loving each other.

Feb 14th, 2016 7:20pm

We are almost 5 years out of my son's TBI.  We are still struggling with him.  We live in rural Minnesota, so did not receive the rehabilitation he should have had.  He is so angry all the time, and has been getting in to a lot of legal issues, mostly due to him being very vulnerable.  He is such a sweet kid, not nearly ready to be a 16 year old.  His body and his age say he is 16, but he is not emotionally 16.  I am currently fighting tooth and nail to get him the rehab he needs.  We are having to drive 5 hours to finally get him the much needed help!  I am really hoping that with this therapy he will ve a better person.  It has been a hard, tough road.  One that i will continue to fight for, for my son.

Feb 2nd, 2016 5:03pm

My oldest son in 1997 suffered a TBI in a car accident. He was in a coma for 44 days and the drs told us if he came out of the coma, he would be nothing but a veg. Every day they suggested we sign the paper to pull the plug on him. He had been in top shape, at 17 yrs old, 6ft.4in. and 230lbs of muscled. He was an excellent choice to donate organs. Today he’s a stay at home father of 3 children and has been married for 9 yrs.

Every day since the accident has been a struggle and learning experience. My father, sister, and wife have all passed away since then. My son has taught me more about life, love, and courage than I could ever have taught him in the past 19 yrs. I still have my sense of humor and laugh often instead of crying because if I told people, they would not believe me. I wouldn’t trade anything for the past 19 yrs. My son, Jason, is an incredible human being and I pray every day, thanking God for all His blessings. Through all the difficult, trying times, I’ve learned to appreciate the little things while keeping faith and hope. I treasure every moment that God gives me with him, for life is too short! P.S. My youngest son Chris is just as incredible! I am a blessed man, thank you, Lord!

Jan 28th, 2016 8:42am

Thank you so much for your story, it was like reading moments of my last ten years. My brother was assulted ten years ago and sustained a severe frontal lobe brain injury. Like everyone here my family didn't have the coping mechanisms that would be needed to help my brother and unfortunately they didn't make the effort to learn them. After the initial injury and all the hospitalisation that came with it my family started to slide into denial thinking that he would recover and be the same brother/son that they alway new. I gave them all the information that I could find but not one of them read it. In the following years my brothers marriage failed and his career as an architectural draughtsman came to an end. To make matters worse, my wonderful father was slowly declining with multi infarct dementia, yet another thing my family refused to inform themselves about. It's now ten years on and my family is destroyed, My mother doesn't help with my brother and my father is in an aged care facility. My other two brothers rarely see my brother or my father and were instrumental in convincing my mother to stop seeing her brain injured son. They convinced her that it's not her problem and that my brother should "just get a job" and that she deserves a life . She makes a token effort to see my dad twice a week for an hour or so because she believes he lives in his own world. I see my father all the time and still we enjoy music, movies and small conversations together. On his bad days I read his favourite books to him. My brother is a major part of my life, he has dinner with us most nights of the week. We take him on long drives, to the movies and to concerts. He is part of every dinner party we have which can sometimes be challenging, but it's important to keep his social skills going. Its going to be a lifetime for me looking out for my brother, sometimes I won't know where to get the strength from. All I do know is that he lost so much of his promising life 10 years ago and he has overcome things I couldn't possibly have overcome myself, so maybe looking at all his courage and fortitude is all I need to remind me how to be there for him.

Jan 2nd, 2016 6:28pm

Thank you for sharing your story. My mother was almost 64 when she sustained her injury. We are now 8 years post injury and experiencing all that you wrote. I have my mother back (with many deficits). I loved her with all my heart before as I love her the same now -- the new person she is and still emerges to be.  I understand the sudden tearing up even these many years later. While we are fine and moving forward, the pain remains under the surface. God is good. He gives us no more than we can handle. 

Nov 28th, 2015 12:15pm

I am on tears reading your story but feel as if it could have been me writing it. A child is never meant to suffer. May God grant you peace and strength to continue this journey . Thank you for inspiring me.

Oct 12th, 2015 10:31am

Why is it that I don't read anything about ABI (Lack of oxygen) My son horrific pain  happen 11/16/13, when he got assaulted. He was of breath for 25 min. Doctors said their was nothing they can do. In ICU on the 3rd day Neuron Doc said he had dead brain cells and no brain activity. He was comatose for 2 1/2 weeks. We trust in GOD that he would restore our son back to life. At the time my son was 24 years old, had everything going for him. A bright young man, full of life. On 11/24/13 he woke up but doctors said he was now in a vegetated state and that their was nothing that they can do, to put him in a convalescent home care. I fought like any MOTHER would do. He had already lost 25pds and was already deteriorating as they word it at the hospital. Eventually they said he would die. I asked the doctors then give me a form so I can sign so he can die here in the hospital! Oh but wait! They said we don't have a form like that. I then told all doctors that my son will NOT be discharge and to please leave the room, so I can do bring my PRAYER WORRIERS to Pray over my son. I TRUSTED in GOD! On X-MAS day December 24, 2015 he spoke 2 words with the trach still in place and said "MOM HOME", They placed our son in a intensive rebar, where he started to learn how to walk, talk, and see. Even at the rehab he still had a long way to go. My son was a miracle and FIGHTER, that he wouldn''t just stop and QUIT! He was released from the hospital on 1/13/2014. As parents we didn't stop fighting for our son, We went to took a picture of our son in front of the building at the CNS 1/2014(Centre for Neuron Skills) facility in Bakersfield,CA.I told my son I will fight hard and be your advocate to get you in there someday and won't QUIT! It took a year. He didn't get in at first, because of the insurance, stating that it was denial not Medical Necessary I fought to the top chamber of the insurance company and appeal the decision for denied coverage. Insurance companies don't believe if they read in the medical report LACK OF OXYGEN is present they already rule out that they won't get better! Well our son proved them WRONG! I won the appeal with the insurance carrier, because I was persistence and pushed hard! Right now our son is admitted at the CNS faculty in Bakersfield, CA. since March 2, 2015 to present. We fought and fought and didn't give up. You see when my son was comatose 11/16/2013, I was already looking ahead to get our son better and posted the picture we took and the CNS and framed the picture and told our son he will be at this special placed to get him better!! Nobody gave us a pamphlets once discharge 1/13/2014 with ABI (Acquire Brain Injury) patient what to expect! We had to educate ourselves. Our son has been making big gains since being at CNS. Our son is our HERO, INSPIRATION, COURAGEOUS AND NEVER SAY NEVER! Our son did see JESUS and a Director from LA heard about our son's MIRACLE doing a documentary of our son that will be coming out before X-Mas 2015. Some footage was done in the CNS faculty. TRUST IN GOD, PRAYERS TO EVERYONE DEALING WITH AN ABI PATIENT. GOD BLESS

Oct 5th, 2015 10:19am

Wow. You guys are amazing! My prayers are with you for the future. Never forget that people are there for you. Good luck xoxox 

Oct 3rd, 2015 2:14pm

This is a great story

Sep 28th, 2015 11:28pm

 Thank you for sharing your story. 16 years ago my son suffered TBI. Eight days in a coma two days on the regular floor and we were back home  I am going to skip ahead now 13 years when he had his first seizure. It is been 2 1/2 years and it continues the seizures and all the horrible medications.  This brings up a whole new set of problems for him and change to his life once again. I'm looking really at the long-term effects of TBI , seizures and how it changes lives  and how especially changes lives of the one going through it.  I am working on some help building an organization that can help with people with TBI and or seizures that will help them and their caregivers and all those who love them learn to deal with the facts and the change that comes about. Once the doctors have physically  healed the injuries and the neurologist controlling the seizures with medications and hopefully getting to an epileptologist  there's so few support groups to help families live with this .we are   In Oklahoma and I'm hoping to  reach people all over United States but especially in the five State area to help me get some organization going to help the family's love ones and friends and especially the person it's happening to deal with this new normal.You can contact me at allard7@sbcglobal.net .

Sep 21st, 2015 10:53am

Your story means a lot to me. My brother who is 30 was in an accident. He was putting air in a tire when it blew up in his face. He lost his left eye and is not the same brother I once new. I've been searching on the Internet for some answer to help him. He pretty just is always by himself he never wants to be around people. Has OCD so bad and talks to himself all day long. At 30 years old he should have a wife and family friends. But he is watching me his younger sister and his younger brother have all that while he's left behind. I hate it so much this happened about 4 years ago and hasn't gotten any better. Thank God he can walk and talk but he isn't his self and never will be.

Sep 16th, 2015 9:50pm

These stories are giving me so much hope. My brother was involved in a motorbike accident 2 weeks ago. He sustained horrific injuries and had a golf ball sized clot on his frontal lobe which has since halfed to the size of a dice. We have been told that he will be serverly brain damaged and need care for the rest of his life he is currently also battling septicaemia onto top of all his other injuries they are amazed how he is still alive and today have told us that he is going to die. I refuse to believe any of it maybe I am in denial I have hope. He was sedated for 9 days due to his injuries but just before the septicaemia he was responding to pain by pulling a face and opening his eyes although vinyl breifly, he would open his eyes when repositioned, he was finally breathing completely on his own, and coughing. When the nurses brush his teeth his pulls faces and doesn't like it. Surely these are good signs. My brother is 25, he is strong and he is really fighting and I too am fighting for him.

Sep 11th, 2015 4:00pm

Inspiring... although like learning it is a life long process of coping and developing/re-developing skills that's been affected. TBI for me and it will be 13 years in 10/29/2015 haunts me every awakening day to not remember the little things that count. But as you mentioned- staying strong and having the will to move forward makes a great difference. Great story!- Brandon White

Aug 31st, 2015 11:11am

Please hang in there. A TBI is different for everyone however, stay strong. My daughter was also hit by a car while riding her bicycle 3 years ago. The neurosurgeon recommended that we stop treatment and let her die. She explained our daughter would be a in a vegetative state. We continued all treatment forcefully and our daughter is now in college living a normal life. The brain is amazing and unpredictable.

Aug 23rd, 2015 8:03am


Aug 21st, 2015 8:54pm

I came to this website because I wanted to know what people go through who have loved ones with severe brain injury.  On May 3, 2015 my 15 year-old grandson was killed instantly in an auto accident.  He had severe brain trauma.  I kept asking God, why didn't you let him live?  I loved that boy so much!  I would give anything to have him back.  After reading these entries, I am more at peace that God knew exactly what he was doing in taking our precious boy home with Him.  Thank you everyone who shared their story.  May God bless you all!

Aug 18th, 2015 12:46pm

I can appreciate all of your hope, struggles, and heartache. I am not sure this is one of the things that time heals. My husband, of 20 years, suffered a TBI as a complication of the third degree burns he obtained in a house fire. It has been over 11 years, and I would love to say that it gets easier, but that simply is not the case. We had very small children at that time, that not only lost their dad but also their mom who became a full-time caregiver. There is no easy answer, you just do the best you can. Over the years, there have been times of improvement and our hopes were raised. The very next year he would suffer some new deficit or seizure activity would increasing, crushing that very same hope. I had no idea, 11 years ago, that this injury would still be so life altering and consuming. Thank you for your sharing your story, it's a very familiar one. 

Aug 17th, 2015 1:29pm

Thank you for sharing Paul's inspiring story of how he has moved forward in life after his TBI and also sharing your insight on what life is like for caregivers.  It breaks my heart to read some of the comments here from other survivors and caregivers who experiencing many struggles in their own rehabilitation and healing journey.   I am all too familiar with this as I sustained my TBI in 2001.  When I was admitted to the hospital I was given less than a 5% chance of living an independent life and I feel very blessed  with how far I have come and I take none of that for granted.  The journey was very long and it was far from easy though.  I am now passionate about helping others out in their journey and volunteer at 2 brain injury rehabilitation centers and also provide resources and write regular blogs with information for both survivors and caregivers that also helps in raising the level of awareness of all across the country.  It's my hope that what I provide on my website may be of use to others who are going through what myself and my family went through - www.denise-pelletier.com.   Denise 

Aug 16th, 2015 7:18pm

I am currently at Ben taub hospital with my brother who suffer from severe tbi. I recently got the prognosis about my brother that he will be bed bound and unresponsive for the rest of his life. After reading majority of the comments I have hope and faith in God. I hope that my brother Archer is in your prayers. My father and I have been devastated from this and we know this may be a long journey but it's okay because its always been my father brother and I. We will get through this. Thank you for giving me hope. I'm new to tbi and hoping if anyone can give me anymore information that would be greatly appreciated. Please contact me at stevenvulhs@Gmail.com

Aug 10th, 2015 6:29pm

My brother became a victim of violence on July 15, 1995 when a "friend" threw a 13x9 inch campfire boulder at his head over $5.00.  I was 9 months pregnant at the time.  He could not be Mercy Flighted to the hospital due to fog, and had over 7 hours of that pressure on his brain before surgery.  By then, it was too late.  He is paralyzed and now in a nursing home, as my mother simply could not take care of him at home anymore.

Our lives have been irrevocably altered...the pain and the anguish that others write about here is real and so true.  Nothing is ever the same, and it is a pain and sadness I walk with everyday.  I do my best to make his life more meaningful, by bringing him home in my wheelchair van for holidays and summer get togethers, but there is no going back.  

Today, while helping my mother clean her house, we found his hair.  My brother was a beautiful 29 year old, with long brown hair that they had to cut prior to his brain surgery.  I took it out of the bag; it still smelled like the trauma ICU from 20 years ago.  I cried...his hair, so beautiful, and still so shiny and colorful...very sad.

The thing about life is that it goes on.  The new normal, the 20 year normal, is what we live with now.  He doesn't belong in a nursing home with old folk, but there are no other residential places for him in our area.  It's crushing, but our love for him and his for us keeps us going, pushing forward.  So you just get behind that wheelchair and push it, because that's life now, and you do what you have to do.  I am glad he is here with us, but such a tragic loss.  And the guy that did this to him, despite 11 witnesses, completely walked away from the judicial system without a slap on the wrist.  That's what fancy lawyers do for you.  Make it look like nothing happened.  

This will all be righted in heaven for everybody, I know.  But TBI is a life changing experience, and all you can do is dry your tears, and keep moving forward.  I pray for all of you here and the many more families that have had to live through the unthinkable.  The Lord hears our prayers.

Aug 8th, 2015 7:06pm

I suffer a traumatic brain injury since new year's eve I'm not walking haven't regain much function in my affected arm even and as its so hard when I answer "im good I'm fine I'm ok" cause I'm not ok support my mother makes it easier to deal with making me not suicidal making me hope

Aug 6th, 2015 11:54am

Thank you for your story. Like everyone else on here I'm reading it because of TBI. My son was in a MVA 4 months ago right after he turned 20. All the doctors told us is that we will always hear "I dont know", "Time will tell" or "Be patient". I have 2 other sons and I fell like I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. His father an I fight all the time because I work and am with my other kids when I'm not in the Sub-Acute facility with my son. he has made progress but reading how everyone is "different" after TBI scares me. I love how my son is (was) before and it scares me that he will be "different". reading everyone comments does give me some peace but I can't help but to be a bit afraid of how he will be even in a year from now. Thank you again for your story.

Jul 30th, 2015 8:22pm

The person asking about eating.  TBI can cause gastro paresis which is a slowing of motility and the stomach does not empty.  If he is getting feeds then the feeds are staying in the stomach and he is feeling full.  They will still loose weight because they do not properly absorb the calories due to not process the food properly.  The stomach and intestines are smooth muscles and contract to break up the food and push it thru when the nervous system is damaged and does not send the signal to the vagus nerve then the contractions slow and the food does not break down and the food does not push out of the stomach fast enough  This can also cause constipation on top of any narcotic pain relievers and if there is decrease mobility it makes it even worse so it is all a vicious cycle.

Jul 23rd, 2015 11:30am

I flipped off an atv and suffered a tbi, 10 years ago now. I know I'm not the same person I was prior to my accident. Although I don't, and never did, suffer any mental, or cognitive issues, I DO still have physical problems. Like the writers son, my voice is very monotone and low, and I walk off balance, and, obviously, I can't run, which is something I used to do everyday prior to my accident. It kills me that I can't get my body back in the physical shape that it was before. I was at moss rehab( in PA) for 5 months) and my Dr. there told me that I will never be what I was before my accident. The best I'll be is about 75%! That is very depressing, bc it's like, what do I have to live for?? What's the point?

Jul 14th, 2015 2:37pm

Hi my son was in coma for six months due to car accident severe TBI I know what your family are going through. I don't have much help my husband is disable with back problem but I have faith in GOD. My son is in college but still needs improvement. GOD will give all of us strength and courage to care for our sons. It's been 7 years for mine

Jun 28th, 2015 3:10pm

Thank you for this. My husband was hut by a car on March 10, 2015. Almost 4 months later, he's in a vegetative state. We are currently waiting on an opening in the OR for cranioplasty and will soon be moving him to a nursing home unit specifically for trachs and vents.... And praise God, he has been breathing on his which we were told he may be on the vent for the rest of his life. We dont know what the future holds but I am slowly and painfully accepting that the person I fell in love with, the father of two beautiful boys, is gone. I pray God brings him back to us. God bless you all... We are not alone. Philippians 4:6

Jun 18th, 2015 3:48pm

We sincerely appreciate your story. Our son suffered a traumatic brain injury 7 months ago at age 18, it has been a terrible journey with 7 surgeries, the mourning of the son thousands loved and knowing that while I have faith hope and love that the old son is gone as we knew him. He was a senior in high school with only six months to graduate, he missed so much prom, graduation, his senior year is gone but he is saved by God's grace. I have nights that I wake up in horror walking to his room to find him not there as he is still in the inpatient rehab facility. We will never understand why families have to be faced with this terrible diagnosis, but God has a plan for everyone's life. I know that we are very early in our battle and that we will exhaust every effort to give him the very best. Our next step is hyperbaric oxygen treatments to combat long-term disabilities. I know only God knows his fate, but our family is so thankful that he is alive and we pray everyday that we will get glimpses of our boy again, we love you so much Sam!!!!!! Peace be with all of you.

Jun 15th, 2015 8:43pm

I am 49 yrs old , when I was 15 I.was involved in a near fatal car accident , I hit the dashboard with my head with so much force it literally crushed my inner ear leaving me permanent total loss of hearing in my left ear. I also suffered sever brain injuries , I believe I had at least five skull fractures which was I broke my skull in numerous places , I also had numerous bruises on my brain which was diagnosed as severe brain trauma . Other injuries included four broken fingers , broken arm , several broken ribs , stitches all over my face and on top of my head , between all the blood in both ears I was temporarily deaf , I could barely sit up much less stand or walk because my brain was swollen . God not only spared my life that day he also healed my physical injuries much faster than my Doctors expected. But my brain injuries and brain trauma where another thing all together . Especially considering that 34 years ago they did not understand the permanent life long disabilities I would suffer and honestly to this very day I wish I would have died in the accident that day . That day the person I was meant to be and the potential I possessed to live a happy productive life was lost forever . The saddest part is that after extensive tests the Neuro Surgeon and the entire Neurology Dept at Childrens hospital told my mother that although I had suffered severe brain trauma that it was very possible with a lot of therapy within a limited window of opportunity they believed I could benefit greatly. Can you believe that the day they finished testing and diagnosing and offering some recovery through therapy.....I was never taken back not even once . It was like my parents got the final diagnosis and was given information that could have given at least part of me back to myself and spared me a lifetime of suffering and wishing I could understand what the hell was wrong with me. Why I can't think straight, why I make horrible choices , why I have abused drugs and alcohol, why I can't be around people and just want to be alone , the horrible effects of my brain trauma and not receiving medical attention because no one cared

Jun 11th, 2015 11:46am

I feel so sad reading so many stories, my son is 9 and hasn't been a year yet since our car accident that left him with severe traumatic brain injury and has came so far already but starting to have emotional frustrations and his rough days are by far the tougher for me! I am suffering with severe anxiety/panic problems and although was doing so well up til recently I am always so worried and am constantly hovering over him babying him as my husband would say! I cannot stop and have since made my older children resent him or me and no matter how hard I try to fix things i think it makes it worse!! I feel sad so much and sorry all the time and am afraid that my marriage could suffer soon because of it?! I am going to seek therapy and some family therapy as well but with medical bills overwhelm us and our weekly trips 3 hours away for his therapies, seems as if help for me and my family keeps getting put back and nothing I can do about it!! Then reading these stories and seeing how many years some of you are going on and still struggling in some areas. Scares me to death, what if I fail him or what if in my exteme unwillingness to fail him I end of failing my older kiddos somehow or my husband and the damage is too much to bear and might not be fixable?!! I know my older kids never fully accepted that the brother they knew didn't come home with is and I saying that it's possible I also haven't fully accepted it either! I feel we need to find a way to mourn the boy we lost that day but still give thanks for this amazing miracle that God has given us and embrace the new life we need to move on with!!! It's too much somedays and I am fearful I am not the strong good mama everyone says I am!!

Jun 5th, 2015 3:24am

May 8 2004 a day I will never forget. I had graduated nursing school 2 days before and we was celebrating when suddenly this party turned into a nightmare. Our son had taken our 4 wheeler and attempted to climb a hill that he had been told repeatedly to never go up or down and for whatever reason him and his friend tried it. His so called friend was not injured thank God but our son sustained a closed head injury to the right partial temporal lobe with a 1/4 inch depression he was life flighted from our yard to the trauma center. He remained in a coma for a total of 12 weeks he had to learn everything all over again. Today he is 23 years old and the past 11 years have been a nightmare the behaviors have been horrible medications work somewhat but if he gets to much caffeine or nicotine (from chew tobacco) he becomes this raging person. He has broke my husband's nose, constantly fights, and will even get physically aggressive with his sisters but does not attempt to physically attack me. Everywhere that we have checked we are told he does not qualify or there's no funding assistance available. Now after 25 years of marriage my husband and I are separated because the stress finally was unbearable. We need help we love our son but he needs to live some where else we can't take it anymore. So does anyone know WHERE there is a place in Oklahoma or surrounding states. PLEASE email me at kingrn04@gmail.com if you have any suggestions.

May 29th, 2015 7:27pm

I have been in a relationship with my beautiful partner for ten years. He had a car accident twenty years ago. As the years have gone by I feel with patience lots of love and understanding he has really improved! He still gets agitated and his memory is not good at times, but overall he has come a long way from when I first met him!! A few people have said to me but you don't know what the future holds for him that may impact on your relationship and I say the love we have for each other is strong enough and already weathered so much!! after all we never know what life has in the future for any of us!!! I will love and support my partner as long as he needs me!!! As he is so wonderful to me considering all he endures on a daily basis....I admire him!!!

May 16th, 2015 8:32am

I am a TBI survivor and have been dealing with it for the past 7 1/2 years. From reading some of the comments on here I can relate to some of the comments on here. I know that I have been lucky throughout my recovery because I do lead a good life, but it is hard at times dealing with concentration, getting angrier easier then I used to, feeling lost out in space, and people just looking at me on the outside and seeing me as the old me. I just hope and pray that throughout the medical studies that are ongoing that our loved ones can somewhat get a better understanding of where we are. I will pray for every ones overall health and recovery!

Apr 18th, 2015 12:17pm

I feel your pain, my husband has a severe TBI, x ten years, he has never returned to who he was, he is now like my developmental son, it breaks my heart daily when I have to take care of him and work with his off the wall behaviors, I love him so much but I gave up any intimate relationship I would ever had, I work full time and take care of him the time I have off, I've given my life for him , and only through God has this been possible,,,,

Apr 10th, 2015 2:36pm

Our daughter was stuck by a truck at 55 mph at age twelve. She survived but her 11yr old friend did not. It has been 22+ yrs since that horrible day. Yes many years of doctors, rehab and all that comes with TBI. Our family life changed forever. We never looked back at that "day". We strived to go forward in the best positive manner possible. It took several months before she finally realized we were her parents, that I believe was the hardest of all. We never told our daughter she had brain damage, nor treated her as if she did. After she healed and learned to walk again she became uncontrollable. Her new personalty was hard to deal with but in time we all learned our little girl was a stranger we needed to get to know. Even now as she is a full grown woman we can still see sparks of who she once was. That does break our heart at times. But time moves on as we must also. Our daughter has lived on her own since she was 26 and now in her 30's, she's married and expecting her first child. We are so proud of our daughter because she was a fighter. She did not let her mental or physical disabilities hold her back one bit of what she wanted out of life.  Mrs. Toney

Mar 31st, 2015 12:53am

Thank you for your story.....my son had a tbi at 19 years old...now at 31 he is having some issues....he is our miracle..but the fear is returning to me....I related to so much of your story...mom with a heavy heart .

Mar 30th, 2015 10:41pm

My father in-law suffered a TBI almost 8 years ago. He was a Vice President at a national bank, ran the Boston marathon 2 weeks before his accident, was a member of his community theater, and an amazing father to 4 grown children and 2 grandchildren (1 of whom passed away at age 2 before his TBI). You never know what life will or is capable of bringing. The brain is a mystery...capable of so much yet can debilitate in the blink of an eye. My father in-law has improved 10 fold and much more so than the early "caregivers" imagined. Scientists are the first to admit we know very limited things about the brain. Why are so many people withTBI cast aside? Ignorance is bliss? What we don't know/understand can't hurt us? It's just plain sad. My father in-law is very capable of having an intelligent conversation (he's put me in my place more than once!) and is quite wise and articulate but because of his TBI it can be hard for people to understand what he's saying. It's sad to me that I've seen 95% of people walk away instead of trying to communicate with him or ask someone he's with for interpretation. He doesn't want your pity...he wants and deserves your respect. The next time you see someone in a wheelchair who you "assume" is "disabled" think twice...that person could be smarter than you could ever aspire to be. Love you Tom! XOX

Mar 2nd, 2015 8:41pm

Hey, very nice site. I came across this on Google, and I am stoked that I did. I will definitely be coming back here more often. Wish I could add to the conversation and bring a bit more to the table, but am just taking in as much info as I can at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
karma km 5000 wheelchair

Keep Posting:)

Feb 23rd, 2015 5:48am

My husband suffered a TBI March 2014. He would not eat and he lost 30 pounds. I knew he would never allow a gastrstomy tube. He had an NG tube in for 3 weeks. He started to eat about 6 weeks after his injury. He started eating oranges and pineapple. Those were the only foods he would eat. The next thing he started to eat was homemade soup. He has gained the 30 pounds back. It was really challenging.

Feb 19th, 2015 1:15pm

Does anyone on here have a suggestion for someone who will not eat at all after his TBI -- he argues he is full despite having ate nothing and literally will refuse a bite. He is getting nutrition through a feeding tube. This is not a medical question just wondering if anyone has faced this and has a creative solution.

Feb 7th, 2015 1:35pm

I always felt for my mother-in-law and what she must have went through with my husband who has now lived more years with tbi than without it. However, nothing prepared me for what our marriage would go through and now our family as we have a small son. We experience the pain of tbi related emotions and thought process daily. Does anyone know of a support group or advice for those of us who love them dearly, but almost feel like we are married without a spouse?

Feb 6th, 2015 9:53pm

Wow I wish we lived next door. My soon suffered a severe traumatic brain injury at age 14 he is now 22 and your / mine story and outcomes parallel one another I've had no one "really" to talk to and just reading your story I just sighed in relief there is a woman a mother out there that understands ! Ive never met you but you gave me something ... I am not the only one and I am not alone Thank you !!!

Jan 30th, 2015 11:38am

Thanks for sharing your story, my husband and I was called to the hospital a year ago on Jan 5,2014 our daughter had gotten in a single car Mva, where our only grandson at the time was ejected from her suv which flipped over a few times, earlier that day we had him he was laughing, running and playing with my husband and I, several hours later we walked in the hospital picu unit and saw him in a coma suffering from severe tbi, broken femur, he suffered a stroke, and he has cortical blindness ect, life hasn't been the same. My husband still cries and I'm crying almost every day still, my husband and I are his legal guardians, I ended up resigin from my job to care for him, I know your at 10 year I'm in the first it feels like I'm helpless and lost and mourning the old child is hard when he looks the same on the outside, but I do understand why that is important because the old child is not coming back. this is by far the most difficult life changing matter we've had to deal with, I continue to pray for strength. My grandson is 3, he is 40lbs dead weight, he can't talk, or has no understanding however my husband and I can say things and we've started getting a smile , he can't sit up or rollover he's in a wheelchair well he has started moving his left had to the point he pulls at his trach and gbutton, which is diffently progress, he goes to a wonderful medically fragile school during the day, he has a trach and gbutton, at this point we've lost our lives as well it's so heartbreaking looking at him go through this and yes when people ask how are you, i also say fine because how do you explain to others, how are you supposed to feel with this unbelievable change to your love ones, I'm constantly at the hospital or doctor office, my grandson barely sleep sometimes I feel like a walking zombie, please anyone reading this post can share anything with me this is still new to me please email me at cbenton39@Hotmail.com, I'm willing to listen i know there nothing that can undo what I'm going through but maybe you all can share some of your coping method....

Jan 22nd, 2015 8:36am

You are not alone, we all have stories to tell. My son had car accident in 2011 and sustain spinal cord injury. Diagnosed as paraplegic, he is using a wheel chair now. Your experience is the same as mine.everything has to change, your routine etc. Being a single parent of three children, I had to change and by a bigger house for him to be able to move. Hosp8talking bills, I am still paying, the medical aid gets exhausted very quick. But let's thank God that our kids are alive. Itnis through His grace that we still have them. Be blessed and know that He loves Udall

Oct 14th, 2014 5:02am

So many of these stories could be our family's. My son is 12 years post injury and we have been blessed with a thoughtful, humorous son, not the one pre-injury but a new person and I grieved the first son but I was always hopeful and enjoyed the person he became. Now 12 years later he has changed almost over night we now have an angry person in our household, gone is the smiling, teasing and laughing young man we grew to accept. It is another loss of the same person who has changed into someone else. I hurt for him because depression has seemed to overcome him and I would love to have my humorous son with the TBI back. I don't know what happened maybe he fell, maybe he is now acknowledging his mortality and is becoming angry and depressed, I don't know but it is hurting our family again. I pray he will get better again and the meds they are trying will work. My love and faith are still strong.

Sep 16th, 2014 7:01pm

Thank you. The teen (and family) who was with my child and influenced her accident do not think my family has much to face. God never gives us more than we can handle. The teen walked away from my child and never offered any sympathy or support. It is so disrespectful and ignorant.

Sep 5th, 2014 11:16am

my son at 21/2 yrs old fell from a two story window he was induced in a coma and 2-3 months later he was home they removed his bone flap and replaced it with a plastic in his head. He is now in kindergarten and he does have a brain damage which makes it harder because he has adhd hard trouble listing and following rules there is days were i do miss my old baby but I've learned to adjust to the new baby which step by step i know god will help us get through this

Aug 20th, 2014 2:22am

In month 3 of my son's TBI. Everything I just read is completely accurate. Some days are harder then others. I thank god my son is alive everyday. Friday will be his 8th birthday. But it doesn't feel the same. People ask what gifts they should bring I don't know how to answer them. He's currently still in rehab facility and I drive 2 1\2 hours every 5 days to see him. Our family is separated. My husband's stays with our and I am home with our daughter. I know things will get better and it gives me hope reading this story. Thank you for sharing.

Aug 3rd, 2014 12:26am

TBI 32 years later!! So happy to read the stories, something I think about daily. Broken bones, arthritis, need replacements, don't have the best insurance, but God has helped me thru so much, my family, (1 brother, 4 sisters),Father died 3 years prior, mother 3 years after. I was 16, now 49, "baby of the family". In a coma for weeks, thought father brought me to hospital! Had last rights read to me! Have a strong faith. Only worried, live with a friend, brother @ sisters in their 20's @ 30's back then, lots of neices and nephews, more successful than me!, What's going to happen to me as I get more older, I relate to my friends mother who has dementia, I cry, for her. Luckily you would never, appearance wise, except for my trach scar, know. I hold down a part time job at a grocery store, memory very important, but it's repetitive. Make a decent pay, thanking God for my roommate. Short term memory, but my job doesn't understand. I learn new things eventually, but takes me longer. On disability when I started in 1990, able to earn a certain amount, now I have a federal debt. Family has more or less forgotten about my accident, they were younger,raising families, they wear kit gloves sometimes, I am the baby! All in all, my recovery went well, thanks to my sisters and brother, only wonder.........Thanks for the " comrodory "

Jul 28th, 2014 6:18pm

I have a daughter, now 32 years old. She was hit by a car while walking in nov. of 2011. She was in a coma for four months. Hospital sent us out after a month. At that time I had to put her in skilled nursing home as they call it these days. She was still in a coma at that time. They said she has severe Brian damage. She had a feeding tube at the time, but kept pulling it out. No rehab place would give her chance due to not being able to follow commands.. Finally Baylor Hospital TBI unit was willing to give her a chance. She was their six weeks, then she went to Pâté Rehab for six months. She made some progress. When our time was up there it was the skilled nursing home again. We were only there two weeks and we were told we had a week  and had to leave due to my daughters behaviors. She had scratched a resident that they sat her to close to, and bit a aide. We were left in the cold with no resources or way to get meds. I have her at home now for a year and a half. She progressed some at home, was able to communicate a little more. Now since April of this year things have declined. She want chew or swallow at times, want eat. So that creates more issues with urinating and bowel movements. We give her plenty of liquids, but that's not enough. I have taken her to three different er regarding this issue and each one said there is nothing wrong. I don't understand how not eating and drinking very little at times is no a health problem. She requires 24/7 care. We have tried to get respite but no one will take her. Things are just worse. I don't care for the Medicaid community at all. I am scared, and it hurts to see her facial expression at times. The CBA programs have so much red tape, and limitations. I just want to cry half the time.   I understand the sadness of coping with tbi. I am also raising her two kids. Any suggestions or help email at marylynosborne11@gmail.com. 

Jun 27th, 2014 7:28pm

I want to post something that gives hope. Eight years ago my brother sustained a head injury from an assault . The hospital he was taken to had three others that night and his injury was by far the worst. Of those admitted he was the only survivor . Eight years later , having gone through extensive rehabilitation , he is still my brother, he still has the same traits he had growing up, he still has the same humour and yet when I think of all that he has lost I wonder how. His marriage broke up within the first two years, he lost his career and many of his friends and is now on a disability pension. The rest of our family has fractured, some beyond repair because they refused to see the mighty struggle he had to deal with. I have never been so proud nor inspired by anyone as much as I have been by my brother . Through everything he has not given up, he has rebuilt his life even though it's not the same life, it's still his. He rides his bike, he runs, he plays guitar and listens to music, but most of all he has made new friends, people who like him for who he is, the old and the new. I have been with my brother every step of the way and when he has needed someone to fight his battles I gladly did it. For anyone currently going through such a traumatic time just remember that perseverance and a whole lot of love can in time bring about things that right now seem impossible . Of everyone in my brothers brain injury group he has the most severe injury yet as his group leader says, he is the most inspirational to all the others. My heart goes out to everyone . Liz

Jun 26th, 2014 8:28am

I will keep this short-  I myself was in a  quad accident on 6/5/04 and experienced a TBI.  I'm sending this out to anyone out there that is/or has a friend/family member dealing with TBI.   I've been dealing with TBI for ten years.  I will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have in regards to dealing with TBI.   My email is Schmidty241980@yahoo.com

Jun 24th, 2014 11:59am

My baby was born 3 months early and spent 2 months in the N.I.C.U. she had been home for just under a month with no problems other than being early. On her due date my baby stopped breathing for no reason and her whole body turned blue. my wife ( Madison ) was right there and performed CPR and brought color back to her while getting 911 on the phone and to the house. It was said she went about a total of 28 mins without oxygen to the brain. The Dr's are now telling us that has severe brain damage or H.I.E. and isn't expected to get any better. She is on a ventilator and has no gag reflex. Her brain is letting everything in her body work but has no real purposefully movement and she hasn't opened her eyes. If there is anyone that went through something like this or someone who has had to make a choice of letting their loved one go can you contact me my # is 661-431-9141 my email is thatsmetm3@hotmail.com

Jun 19th, 2014 8:54pm

Hello, don't know what to say. on June 8 2014 my son got into an accident. The god was my sons side. The same day he had brain surgery, hematoma, on his right back side of ear thru the neck. today is 10 day, he doesn't know what he is talking. there are seconds that he can say and recognize us, but all they along he is aggressive, talking nonsense. Please, if anyone knows and had an experience write to me please. I am getting crazy.


Jun 18th, 2014 7:38pm

I can relate to all of the stories here...  My sister was hit by a drunk driver and dragged 150 down the road suffering TBI and many other injuries.  It kills me to see her struggle and her in the condition she is in...  She has three children.  It has been so sad for all of us in the family.  In our pain we have even lashed out at each other as my father and I have been in countless arguments over the past few months.  I am physically & mentally drained.  My life has been on hold since the accident.  I have pushed my own family to the side.  I have trouble dealing with the loss of my sister even though she is still here.  I pray she can come back to us.  I know she is doing her best to do so.  I have never felt such extreme emotions from complete despair to elation.  It has been a LONG two and a half months for us all since the accident.  I am just going to say it...  Brain injury SUCKS!!!  All I wanted in the beginning was for my sister to live...  and then be able to breath on her own...  and then show some purposeful movement...  and then to talk...  and it goes on and on.  I remember when I asked her to move her foot if she could hear me and how incredibly happy I was when she did.  Now she has begun to talk...  small sentences.  She is still confused, acts inappropriately, acts somewhat childlike BUT I have hope for her future.  This is so difficult to express the emotions and feelings that come along with head injury.  I know our road has just begun.  I fear the future but embrace the future.  I want a crystal ball so I know what to expect.  It just really hurts.  I can so relate to all of you and I guess my main purpose of writing is just to say...  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Others are going through the same feelings.  No one would sign up to be part of this group but it is good to know you are not alone.  It is not easy,  Don't give up on yourself or your loved one,  When the load get too heavy put it in Gods hands.  Keep on being strong.  Breathe...

Jun 10th, 2014 5:33pm

10 years later, much recovery and life has gone on.  Now with a beautiful 3 year old son, our daughter is still so very important to us.....but there are still struggles.  After a car accident and thrown from the vehicle, she was found having agonal aspirations (?).  Transported to a trauma unit and stabilized although things got very bad before they got better.  Temp up to 106.1....brain pressure rose to 60 several times....right side wouldn't work and 3 brain bleeds.  I took it all very well, stayed strong and ready to do whatever I needed to.  Her Dad lived it too but seemed to be more hurt than I was.  Her brother was sick, literally sick with fear and more over a period of time.  She eventually came home, recuperated well (with some "small" issues).  Eventually went back with a HS boyfriend, moved and had a beautiful little boy.  When she left his Dad and moved back with us when he was an infant, that was well too.  He's now 4 and we're seeing more and more things that tell us something is happening.  Speech is more slurred, sleeps so soundly that it's scary and requires more and more sleep....voice very monotone and has become almost anti-social.  Focus is on all the wrong things and seems to be spiraling.  I'm not a whiner, I'm not a quitter and I'll go any distance to help my children, but I'm scared and I'm confused and I'm overwhelmed.  And I feel completely inept to take care of things. 

Jun 9th, 2014 9:27am

I have cried while reading every ones post on here partly because I know your pain and frustration and partly because it helps me know I am not alone in some of the feelings and fears that I have.  I too have found myself in the position of caring for my son who is now 34 and was injured in an accident at work almost 7 years ago his injury was to his frontal lobes, they had to remove most of his right and part of his left frontal lobe they also had to perform a craniotomy he spent 7 months with no forehead bone.  To make a long story short after a year in hospitals and rehab we came home to a very different life than either of us lived before his accident.  My son is a very different man than he was before, he is fiscally very much the same but in every other way he is very different, his wife left him his friends have no interest in the new man he has become lucky for him we have a very strong and close family that have been a great help to both of us they do everything in their power to help me help him live as full a life as he can.  I often feel like I have had 2 sons I love this one very much but have grieved for the one I lost.   There seems to be a general consensus that there is a lack of resources out there for TBI patients and their families.  I don't know if this will be of any help to anyone but I have posted the information NAPAS.

National Disability Rights Network Protection and Advocacy for Individuals with Disabilities
Protection and Advocacy (P&A) System and Client Assistance Program (CAP)
This nationwide network of congressionally mandated disability rights agencies provides various services to people with disabilities, including TBI. P&A agencies provide information and referral services and help people with disabilities find solutions to problems involving discrimination and employment, education, health care and transportation, personal decision-making, and Social Security disability benefits. These agencies also provide individual and family advocacy. CAP agencies help clients seeking vocational rehabilitation. For more information on P&A and CAP programs, contact the National Disability Rights Network at: www.napas.org or (202) 408-9514.

May 27th, 2014 3:08am

I humbly thank you for writing this article.  This INVISIBLE disability and INVISILE secret is getting old. I ask myself at times, "are we not given education sooner... for us, our family and our friends".  No education on how the car and head works, etc..., but on LIFE.  We still have to live, but education for our family and others would be useful, because they can calm us, and get consolation in education for themselves.  I received a nice 3 ring binder from home health afterwards, and it was full of info.  It was a few years into TBI,but I found validation. BUT.... I could  not get anyone else to read it.  Funny thing, is 13 years later, my husband looked through it and found some helpful hint on doing medications, that he uses i know for his dad and myself.  Wasted time, and the medications were the least of what could have helped us all.  (we have a good marriage and he has been wonderful, just making a point).  We find it hard to read and search for info that can give us hope or how to help ourselves.  We must have our family/friends, and that is when they disappear.  Clearing up a tad, I understand why it is difficult for everyone.  The side effects of living with us can drive anyone up a wall for a length of time.  So.... why isn't there more education for caregivers, and why isn't there more support for caregivers, and why isn't there more helping with teens since Mom is laying in bed or can't think correctly?  Of all times, this is NOT the time to leave us alone.  It's like being in the middle of New York with millions of people, yet no one will stop and give directions.  You are lost and alone, yet surrounded by many.  My tears are many, but they are typically coming from the shock of being dropped off at the bus stop and not being picked up ever again.   Damaged goods.  That's what my therapist's got out of me one time.  I keep busy as possible, and make a million mistakes, and get in trouble, but I've had 4 friends during most of this time who have been willing to help.  They live far away, and it's not easy.  I put on my happy face, and pretend things are fine.  That is what is expected and if I don't, down the road, something will be said.  I love seeing the beautiful families that are there for each other.  I morn, because we all were once there.  We all have our own language, and only we can understand what another TBI'er is going through.   BRAINLINE.ORG is the best site I've seen, and just found it recently.

Best wishes to all.

New site: www.chatcat57@wordpress.comand gmail

May 26th, 2014 7:37pm

Glad to hear about your son's recovery.  Our daughter had a TBI from a car accident when she was 18 years old. She had always been a gifted and talented kid and had just finished her first year in college. She was on a full scholarship in engineering.

It has now been 7 years.  We spent lots of money and went through lots of saddness in the various rehabs and treatments.  We have done everything we could find.  She still is unstable when she walks and has falls.  All of her long term memories are gone.  Her short term memory is about 2 minutes long and she has to ask over and over each day what she is going to do today. Each recovery really is different.

May 14th, 2014 8:24am

My son was hit by a car while crossing the street at age 15. He as well suffered from TBI. He was in a coma for months then moved to a skilled nursing facility. We were told he may never walk, talk, or eat again. It's been 8 years. He did graduate from high school at age 19 with a diploma. He uses a scooter to get around but at home uses a walker. His speech still slow but understands what you say. Short term memory is getting better but still affected. It's been a long journey but we continue to do all we can to keep him progressing. I have since the beginning kept track about all we have done and gone thru. Wish I could share it with people that may be going thru similar experience. May be helpful.

Apr 24th, 2014 1:22am

Beautifully written.. my daughter suffered a noxic brain injury near 9 years ago due to loss of oxygen. While sick with the flu, she had thrown up and it aspirated her lungs. She has never been the same either. She has been on life support since, and I have recently placed her into a very good facility for young adults with multiple disabilities. Hardest thing I've ever done.. was just getting so hard. She is 19 now, and was bed bound here at home. She is getting so much more stimulation there, and is even getting schooling. Lots of pro's... just miss her greatly! Prayers for your son and family

Apr 18th, 2014 1:21am

Thank u!

Apr 16th, 2014 11:32am

My son suffered a TBI on Nov 23, 2013 and he has come so far but I understand your happiness and sadness......Thank you so much for sharing your story. I feel like I wrote the words myself.

Apr 16th, 2014 11:31am

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can't begin to share how encouraging it is to hear a story like this. You should be very proud of your son and he is extremely lucky to have such a loving family as yours! 

I would like to share a little about me: I am a 24 year old male who suffered a severe traumatic brain injury at age 6 in a car accident. I was in a coma for 5 days following and suffered a seizure after. While I can't remember the accident or even the days following, I know I was championed as a success story. Since that time, I have been able to graduate from high school, obtain a bachelor's degree and even a masters degree. However, as I've entered the world of "work" I am having all kinds of problems: mainly with judgment, inappropriate sharing, and short-term memory issues. I recently had a grand mal seizure and my family is finally putting the pieces together. I share all of this to ask:

do you know of any articles or resources out there for individuals who had a tbi as as a child but are now, as adults, trying to address the affects?

Again- thank you for sharing your story!!!!

Apr 12th, 2014 12:42am

Thank you for sharing your story.  I too am a mom with a son that was assaulted and beaten, left for dead on a sidewalk 3 years ago may 1. He was 24, he was perfect and the love of my life. He was in ICUs for many weeks and then  speech and pt and ot. I have never been so terrified in all my life. He is a miracle walking talking and trying to live his life. I am so thankful to God for saving him. But I miss the one I had and I search deep into his beautiful blue eyes always hoping I can find him. He isn't in there. The pain never leaves me. The fear of walking that line so close to never leaves me. I am a broken soul with a broken heart. 

Apr 4th, 2014 1:09am

My son was just turn 13 year old when he got hit. I almost lost him several tome no one was there to help me, no one came and sat with us I was all allow without a shoulder to cry on and still to this day I still don't cry. He was in a coma for 21/2 months They told me I need think about pulling the plug because he is not going to make it, but he did after he learn how to eat, going to the bathroom, walk, talk, learn basic things again, and learning the basic K-3 grade things again. I am at a lost I need help he his now 17 and he his out of control and I get no help. Please call me at 720-269-4731 if there is something or some way to get him the help e need.

Mar 28th, 2014 12:36am

My son is 24 -at 19 yrs old he suffered a depressed skull fracture TBI that resulted in seizure disorder and short term memory problems along with some behavioral issues and im very overwhelmed as caregiver I worry about wat Will happen if im not here for him -

Feb 8th, 2014 8:49pm

A boy from my school has recently had an accident and now has tbi and is having some problems while over coming his troubles he now has to live with.

Jan 27th, 2014 8:28pm

Great Story...

My daughter was 28 years old when she had a car accident in another state. I brought her home (almost 2 yrs ago). Your story could be my story. The hardest problem for me is trying to explain why her friends never stop over anymore. I tell her everyday, because she forgets. She remembers her past, but not the accident. Getting the proper care now that she is home is my other problem. We are trying to get her to walk and therapy is a problem. I am glad that my daughter is home, but it is a hardship with my job and my relationship with my friends. You are correct about most people not really understanding. Thanks again for writing your story, it helped.

Jan 11th, 2014 9:42pm

nice website

Dec 29th, 2013 3:38pm

To the person who wrote this....

Thank you for sharing your story, it has given me hope that I felt was gone. I would like some advice from actual family & friends from their own experiences. My boyfriend of 11yrs was in an auto accident & diagnosed with a DAI, two days before his accident we had an argument...

I'd love to be able to contact you. I'm in a scarily similar situation. My long term partner is still in neuro recovery but his family have taken complete control and are constantly driving me away. He knows who I am and I'm desperate to be able to help with his recovery and be with him but his family have bullied me to the extent that I've had to walk away and see if he comes back to me which is devastating. It's a relief to know someone is in the same situation but I'd like your advice on how you've been able to handle his family and what your experiences have been. Thanks.

Dec 9th, 2013 5:44pm

Thank you for sharing your story, it has given me hope that I felt was gone. I would like some advice from actual family & friends from their own experiences. My boyfriend of 11yrs was in an auto accident & diagnosed with a DAI, two days before his accident we had an argument and to "make me mad" he contacted a female which he dated for 3 weeks during a "break" we had months before, she had given him her car to use & the accident occurred in her automobile, to identify him state police ran the license plate of her vehical & contacted her to identify him. She then went to the hospital where he was medflighted and informed the hospital she was his "girlfriend", she then contacted his family and claimed the same. He was in ICU for 7 weeks, in a medically induced coma, at which time she took the liberty of telling the hospital I wasn't welcome, he has sence been moved to a rehab, where he is still recieving dialysis twice a week. When I contacted his family about seeing him they replied that "they wernt sure who he was with, so they went with the fact he was driving her car". Finally I stopped asking and went to see him, it was the most emotional moment of my entire life, I had anticipated this moment every minute of every day for 79 days, prior to my arrival his family had been giving me updates on his progress & informed me he didn't know who anyone was & his brain was still to sensitive to see any new visitors. It took him a minute to focus on me & I gave him a minute to adjust,I asked if he knew who I was & said ofcourse "Babe" a nickname he, as well as all his friends have called me for years, I showed him a photo album & he named every person in it, so clearly his family had been lying to me. I told him "I've missed you so much & I am so sorry I havnt been here" "His eyes got teary & he said "Why, I love you", I wasn't sure what to tell him as I didn't want to cause any negative emotions or overwhelm him in any way, so I replied "your family didn't think it was a good idea, but I've talked to your sister everyday & your mom once a week to check on u" & he said "I only want u here, I love u". From the moment he saw me his eyes lit up, he was non stop kissing me, hugging me, holding my hand, playing with my hair, sqeezing my face&touching his nose to mine & saying I love you, which we had always done. His mother had came back into the room, & do to the overwhelming emotion I was feeling I needed to leave & just cry & let it out, I looked at him & said again "do you know who I am" & he whispered my name & then loudly said "My love", I smiled & said "yes I am & you are my love too, when you want me to come back all you have to do is tell you mom to call me & I will be right here ok" he replied by tapping the bed next to him & said don't leave me, as fought with everything I had not to lose it, I said, u need a little rest, so you relax & rest & when u wake up if you want me here just tell her to call me & he started to cry a little & said ok. I've worked in health care my entire life & from my point of view that's someone who knows exactly who I am, how he feels about me and what he wants. However his short term memory is a big issue right now so I fear he won't remember me being there & his family will not allow me to return, a family that hasn't spoken to him in months besides his mother who has stuffed from alcoholism for many years & was diagnosed with a brain disorder as a result so she's not at all coherent enough to rationalize with. Although he is a 30yr old adult his father claimed guardianship so I believe he technically has the legal right not to allow me to see him. Is it at all possible that his reaction to me could be false? He may be there at least a year or more under the devistating impression that I just left him there and didn't want to be there. I'm debating whether or not to fight his family's decision or to just wait until he contacts me which could be years. So I need to know from families that have loved ones suffering from this devistating diagnosis if its possible that he doesn't really know who I am or that those intense emotions could possibly be false & caused by the brain injury. Can anyone give me their opinion or insight as to whether his reaction was a true reaction?

Nov 28th, 2013 12:17am

My daughter is 8 years out from her injury.  She fought hard to return to school, and live a typical teen life.  She has done well physically but is now experiencing the loneliness, depression and other psych symptoms others refer to in their comments.  She has also recently started some self-harm behaviors and is alluding to experiencing hallucinations. Has anyone found a good solution or treatment center or resource for the psych issues?  She has seen several counselors, with the last one stating my daughter's issues were too complex.  I am at a loss.  Any help is appreciated.

Nov 20th, 2013 12:42pm

Thank you for sharing this story. I am 5 years post TBI with my daughter and the pain is still there. I to feel as though I lost a child and in order to help cultivate the you "new" you have to come to that realization. The pain is deep and I feel so guilty for being emotional when my tower is this tower of strength and rarely ever has a bad emotional day!.

She is the life of wherever she is and just wants to love and be loved. It angers me that she was so popular and that none if her friends come around with the exception of one.

I would love to help others  who go through this as there is no guide book. If you have or are a part of a support group for TBI would you please contact me


Nov 20th, 2013 9:58am

This comment is to the lady who's son is Wes, if your son is determined to be disabled .you should be able to get help with independent living skills, thru vocational rehab, which.is funded by the state or by Federal funds try calling them on the phone in your local area Dh past TBI survivor.

Nov 17th, 2013 1:37am

Thank you for sharing your story.

Nov 14th, 2013 12:00am

I am pleased your son Paul is doing so well,the determination and patience to get well and recover is simply incredible. I was hit over the head in an Armed Robbery (I was a cashier in one of those yellow kiosks)NCP Ltd; Blackman Street, Brighton on the 4th April 2003. A lady witness called the police, they smartly arrived to find it was their own colleagus who had removed all the security from the car park, thereby making a Robbery foolsplay, to any Robber who wished to do the job.Needless to say the local police and doctors in the Hanover Ward Brighton just covered it all up, then the DWP covered it all up and finally the C.I.C.A; covered it all up. It is estimated that I have beeb very close to my grave on at least ten occasions as the Brain was so badly damaged I kept loosing the neural drive to the heart. However it has taken ten and ahalf years to learn to walk, talk, read and write, entiely on my own. No one offered any help except for my neighbour across the road. NCP Ltd never got fined a penny. Alaw for the Rich and another for the poor. Yours sincerely Christian Morgan, one has to be resilient, you are on your own in this country.

Nov 11th, 2013 7:57am

I just read the story about your son - and its me. I was almost 12 when I was hit by a drunk driver. That day has changed my life forever. I sometimes wish that I could find him and say 'SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" But he's probably dead now as I am now 48 and what would be the point. My sister witnessed my body being thrown up in the air bounced of the top of 2 cars and then landing on sidewalk between curb and wheel of a car. The accident caused a 3 in crack to my skull on left side, cracked left pelvic bone and me in a coma for 2 weeks. At first I didn't know what had happened and when I came to I remember seeing my mother and other family members while still in ICU and I cried and said,"Momma I wanna go home." But that was a temp moment for I seeped back into a comatose state. I had to relearn how to walk, and after a six week stay in hosp I was sent home, not at all understanding that my life had changed forever. The fractures healed and I can walk, but NO ONE told me I had TBI to the left frontal lobe withe Encephalomalacia (softening of brain tissueand because my parents didn't care to seek additional treatment or surgery to remove the contusion I now have a WHITE MASS and LESIONS spreading across my forehead. I'M EMPTY NOW. NOTHING CAN BE DONE TO FIX IT - OR ME. I DID notice a change in me afterwards but because my parents didn't bother to take me to see a Neurologist or to counseling, my grades dropped from being an A+ student and happy child to a suicidal disassociative emotionally distraught teen, seeking to find some way to get my mind out of my body. I had to take pay 500 to a Correspondence school for the 2 credits I was away from graduating high school. I had dropped out twice. My mother abandoned me at 16 because of my "behaviors" and then I was imprisioned to Foster Care, where. Child Protection Services -never protected me from being raped and suffering from starvation. AND NOT ONCE DID EITHER OF MY PARENTS OR 4 OLDER SISTERS EVER CAME TO SEE IF I WAS OKAY - NOR DID ANYONE CALL. I sought to become invisible because what can't be seen - can't be hurt - or so I thought. I was a reckless 18 year old on my own. Drinking and smoking weed and had sex - just because. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW - I WAS THE ONE WHO CONVINCED MY PRIMARY CARE PROVIDER TO SCHEDULE ME FOR AN MRI BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS TIRED, PASSING OUT, OR FELT LIKE I WAS SLEEP WALKING. I WAS 35 YEARS OLD.After the scan my PCP called me and said she made emergent appt for me with a Neurologist. I was hopeful as I thought he would have some answers and could just tell me what was wrong so we could fix it - NOT -that was not the outcome. He was telling me medical terms that I didn't understand, so I asked him "DOES THIS MEAN THAT ONE DAY I'll GET BRAIN DAMAGE?" He looked at me and said, "MS. BOYKIN YOU'VE HAD BRAIN DAMAGE SINCE THE ACCIDENT". My mind spun in circles. I questioned everything I had done every decision I had made - wondering was it me or these foreign people that now fill up that space in my brain where the contussion lives. My marraige, having children and then him explaining that's why my GPA dropped down to a 2.0 by high school, why I was so overly emotional, why I had blackouts and passing out, why I had suicidal tendencies, and why I would never be the same again. I was stupid because I expected love and suppot from my family members and friends - instead I was looked at like I was growing a gigantic gross pimple on my face, or that at any moment I might jump up on somebody's coffee table and stark acting like a deranged monkey. But apparently they didn't hear me because I said I've HAD THIS BRAIN DAMAGE SINCE I WAS ALMOST 12! I was able to continue to work until 8 years ago. The stress of working and now beiing a devorced mother with 2 kids-MY BRAIN JUST SHUT DOWN. AND BECAUSE MY parents never sought treatment I did't realize until years later the actual impact the accident also did to my internal organs. My mother had always said that the doctor told her I probably would not be able to have children, so surprise the "F" out of me when I popped up pregnant at 19! Recently one of my "knowledgable" doctors told me that what she said didn't make since, but my Mommy Dearest Shirley Jones didn't care. She handled my case out of court. Got the check ching-ching - none of which I ever saw a penny of it. So now at 48 I spend most of my time alone-don't dare want to offend someone. Here in my room. God DID BLESS MME WITH THE GIFT TO WRITE - I REALIZED THIS GIFT ABOUTi 6 MONTHS BEFORE THE DRUNK DRIVER "THE ENEMY" TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE. Ooooh if it wasn't for my 2 children and grandbaby that I love more than life itself, or the fear of going to hell by dishonoring god because I was able to complete writing ans self-publishing 2 novels. I am working on it becoming a screenplay and trying to complete my 3rd book. BUT- you know thereKs always a but - as I get older my SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS IS EXTREME, lack. Of concentraction and focus, severe headaches and the other physical problems this has caused. Cause if Mommy Dearest would have taken the time to find out the truth my doctor said I still had my female organs and menstral cycle - BUT I SHOULD HAVE HAD MY CHILDREN BY C-SECTION. I'VE HAD 3 EMERGENCY SMALL BOWEL OBSTRUCTIONS - THE LAST ONE THEY REMOVED 18 INCHES AND A MULTIDUE OF OTHER PHYSICAL PROPLEMS INCLUDING SEISURES PTSD So I will try and end this on positive note. KNOW THAT IF YOUR LIKE ME YOU GOTTA HOLD NTO YOUR FAITH IN GOD BECAUSE YOU'LL FIND THAT YOUR SUPPPOSED BESTFRIENDS OR FAMILY CAN'T "HANDLE" what you're going through! Isn't that funny. But KNOW THAT YOUR NOT ALONE AND THAT WHATEVER GIFTS TALENTS THAT GOD PLACED INSIDE YOU WHEN YOU WEREstill inside your mother's wound. So no matter what the enmy tries to take from you - HOLD ON AND KNOW THAT HE CAN'T TAKE AWAY GOD' GIFTS - cause technically satan will ALWAYS be 9 months too late. Signed, S.D.B. aka HOPEFUL :-)

Nov 1st, 2013 11:18am

My son Wes was a teacher south Korea he was 26 yrs old was hit by taxi cab and was in coma for 3 months I flew there imed we stayed there 7 months getting prepared to fly home.he suffered from damage to brain stem which could not walk talk and eat.he is 29 now he is slowly moving more he just now started voicing words stil cannot eat his mind is good he trapped in a body that will not response .he can move now and can follow commands and can walk with help.he has spasicity bad in upper extremes but here lately can unscrew a jar lid.i have fight the system for physical therapy everyday.i take him to OT st pt hour 10 minutes from my home 3 times a week.he keeps making progress but slow no one know how long a tbi pt takes to heal and all drs won't keep you any hope.wes is in state where no friends come around cause he diff he gets depressed a lot there nothing to do when you can't eat or used your hands but he getting better with them.i guess I hate watching him struggle and suffer that just kills me the most because he regaining his emotions I can't prevent what he feels inside .I can just say it been almost 3 yrs and I can still see improve but I work my tail off to make succeed.you know affected now only him but our whole entire life.he was and still is that great son I gave birth to 1984 if anyone knows what I could do more please tell me.

Nov 1st, 2013 12:01am

Thank you for sharing your story which is all too familiar with a lot of these other people and my family. My 23year old son is nearly 4yrs post TBI after a car versus Power pole accident. I am writing this as like many others do not know where to turn to next. He damaged both frontal lobes plus had 2 major falls in the Neurology high dependency ward days after he had come out of his coma and been moved from critical care, after staff were not watching him. He climbed out of his bed over the safety bed rails but didn't have the motor skills to put his arms out to protect himself from fall and hit the floor head first, causing further major bleeding to the brain, and another following our son trying to remove himself from the toilet, he had been left there on his own without supervision, He was in the prime of his life, a budding professional rugby career, been fit and well all his life before the accident. He had severe post amnesia for 34 days. thinking he was being abused in hospital and that he was a wolf wandering in the wilderness. some of these life hallucinations even the surgeons started believing him. Phoning us in the middle of the night as he was walking the corridor of ward saying he had a dying baby boy at home. He smashed a side table apart in hospital looking for his phone which was never there! He smeared his excretion all over the wall of the toilet. this was just the start...he did improve over time but has never been our same 1st born son, he had the help but didnt really help himself, so people gave up on him. he started going out drinking heavy smoking weed, (he is now on meth) we tried everything in our power to stop this but he would sneak away as he was living in a unit and all the rehab staff convinced us that it was his wishes to carryon a ,'NORMAL' life like before. This was to be a nightmare. he would lose his temper if we sent his friends away or keep a close eye on him he would smash up the unit and vehicles, tried to hang himself I cut him down from the garage beams. He hates me something terrible for trying to make him better and keep him safe. He has moved out of home now works for us but usually turns up for only 2-3 days a week. Is abusive, very violent, no respect and no care or fear of anything. He has got issues towards his younger brother & 2 sisters, when he sees them speaks to them terribly and has even viciously attacked his younger brother on 2 occasions. Only every now and again I get a small glimpse of our old caring talented precious boy who is now a totally different person. We have found all along from day one, all the decision making was left to our son! He was not right to be making those on his own, half the time he could never find his house key or would forget to eat or bath, he was constantly making the wrong choices and did not want to help himself. The rest of his family on the other hand have never had a say and now we are the ones facing this hell and all the 'help' have moved onto the next patient not caring for the devastation this TBI has caused. My mother said the other day its almost as if he would have been better off they hadnt of bought him back to life. As bad as this sounds it has raced across my mind once, but then I think of him before the crash and how loving and handsome he was and hold on to that. Through Christ anything is possible! and I have handed the sadness and worry over to him. Christ has lifted my burden. Thank you

Oct 28th, 2013 9:38pm

For those who are lost in hope. Take your loved one to Shepard in ATL, GA. My son was there for 3 months. Trust me they are the best for TBI.

Oct 25th, 2013 3:22pm

Thank u all for being there. My son suffered tbi nine years ago. He is now 21. He looks perfect to the outside world. Even in our family people expect him to be all better now. It was 9 years ago. The sadness of everyday is almost too much to bare. But after reading ur comments I can find the strength to go on another day find another therapy and pray. Thank u all

Sep 28th, 2013 5:40pm

Reading these comments really have me in tears my heart hurts for all of you... i know the feeling and pain involved with having someone you love suffer a tbi... i am 26 years old mom with five kids... almost 3yrs ago my life has changed my fiance was in a bad crash and suffered an severe brain injury i was told he'd never walk never talk ect.... i had to fight for him because i just couldn't give up... i was faces with him going to a nursing home our. Giving up my job and schooling but i did.... when I first brought him home he could not talk walk hold his neck up or eat by himself he had a feeding tube but I never give up on him overtime he learned how to to talk and was able to have his feeding tube removal its almost been 3 years and he still is not walking on his own he tries hard everyday I can honestly say I really really miss who he used to be and I feel you guys and I feel your pain I live with it daily and it's hard because our kids don't understand never give up on your love ones and just constantly advocate for them... feb 10th 2011 worse day of our lives and our daughters first birthday.... all i can leave you with is even when you feel like giving up seek god and pray... drew is doing things never thought possible!!!!! And continues to make incredible improvements almost three years later..... if you need someone to talk to. Reach me velezkris@aol.com subject line put tbi..... good luck....

Sep 23rd, 2013 11:11pm

I am a comma surviver 18 years ago, I am mother of twins they will turn 8 next week.You remind me a lot,we not be the same,because we do not know who we were but we imited the people who surroud us,and we learn again,I know your a good,strong,mother.good bless you.

Sep 23rd, 2013 10:57pm

Paul is an amazing man and an example of resilience and refusal to believe that the worst is true. My husband had a car accident 7 years ago and suffered a TBI. When he woke up from a coma, he was blind and unable to walk, talk or feed himself. At first the doctors said he would never wake up and then they said he would never walk or be capable of living a normal life. I did not know my husband then. I met him 4 years after his accident. His amazing and strong mother refused to believe what she was told. She gave up work and devoted herself to his rehab. I have seen videos of his physio and cannot believe that the man who stood next to me at the altar was the same man in those videos. He learned to walk and talk. He regularly went to the gym and built his core strength. When his mum told him he would get better, he believed her. His tutor at college offered to take him on as a special one on one student and he completed his plumbing qualification with merit and won apprentice of the year award. When I met my husband, he still had physical difficulties (tremors and lack of fine motor movement), emotional difficulties (particularly when tired) and slow speech. But he is the most gorgeous, amazing person I have ever met. We have been together for 2.5 years now, married for 4 months. He is gentle and wonderful. My family love him. He has been a motivational speaker for the Brain Injury Association and for a Drive to Survive programme and, just recently, he has been able to re-enter the workforce part time after a 7 year absence. His family tell me he is not the same man as he was before his accident. I imagine this must have been very hard for them bringing a stranger home. But everyone agrees he is now a better person. He is beautiful inside and out and I am in awe of him. In the time we have been together, I have seen vast improvements in his capabilities. He will always have a disability but will never stop trying new things. Last year he relearned to ride a bicycle despite balance and vision problems! Do not give up. Always believe. You will be amazed at how much TBI survivors can overcome with support.

Sep 13th, 2013 6:39am

I don't think there is an end to recovering from a traumatic brain injury. I'm a six year survivor now and I still get better every single day. I was in a coma for 3.5 months. When I woke up I was completely immobile. I walk now and I can jump! I'm moving out of home this weekend and into an apartment with my boyfriend, of five years. So none of you should ever give up, if doctors or physio's say you won't do something, prove them wrong, that's what I did! Nobody can give up until you do. x

Sep 12th, 2013 4:34pm

My heart is heavy in reading this. My son who is 12 was struck by a car on may 2nd 2013 and its only month 4 and somedays are harder then others. He is a remarkable young man and in reading Pauls story I feel like it was wrote by me. 10 yrs is a huge milestone and Paul has shown remarkable strength and courage. We spend our days in the iwk hospital in halifax NS canada and tryin to balance life at home with our other 3 children is beyond exhausting both physically and mentally. Thanks for sharing Pauls story. He is an inspiration to our son and you all are an inspiration to us. I would some advice as we haven't ment anyone at this facility who has a TBI. Our son is the worst case they have seen in over 6 yrs. He has a blood clot in the center of his brain affecting his motorskills. Needs time is what is being stressed to us. Time we have but the heart break is unbareable. The 16 year old female who struck our son her life hasn't changed. No contact with the family at all. My email is capermomx4@hotmail.com

Sep 10th, 2013 5:37pm

Wow, as I sit here at my computer trying to find some type of motivational book for my 16 year old who suffered a TBI due to a brain tumor, I was happy to discover your story. Our son and family can clearly relate to all you have wrote. We too have witnessed many miracles however, to our teenage son, he can only see the things he still cannot do. Swallow, sleep without the vent, walk. He is completely cognitive (thank God), but still wants so many things back that he could previously do. We still don\'t know if those things will come back to him, though we hope and pray daily (or his mom does). Thank you for sharing your story. God Bless! Mom and Sam

Sep 9th, 2013 5:23pm

I am 26, a recovering TBI victim who was hit by a car when I was 14. 12 years later, my dad still cannot accept how I am a different person now. He yells, calls names as do I...but I do not anymore. I have been through way more than I am saying but I am having difficulty moving out on my own which would be the ultimate solution to my never-ending problem. I also have to take care of my mom-who begs me to stay. So here in our home I stay. My mom does pretty much everything possible to accommodate me, without question. My dad, with a history of physical abuse, scares me because one day I am afraid he will hit me too. I have been to Recovery Centres for addiction, stood up at knife point, emotionally and mentally abused, in and out of foster care because of my dad, in and out of hospitals to treat my mentality...the list goes on. I need help, answers, for everyone reading this to pray for me, for my dad to finally stop insulting me and treat me like a human being. He says he does not respect me, he makes fun of my injury with comments he makes, yells and screams at both me and my mom...takes out his anger mostly towards me and mom by yelling and constantly reminds me I am a dependent adult in a way to prove he is better than me...tries to get rid of me and says I always "need help". I need answers please...oh what, oh what-do I do now?

Sep 3rd, 2013 10:33pm

Dear Paul and mother; thanks for sharing your story and i would also like to thank each and everyone who commented and shared their stories.These stories help me keep hope alive;in 2009 my 21 year old son was diagnosed with a mental disorder and after battling this disease for several years and struggling with having to take different medications that cause many side affects,he ultimately got hit by a car and ended up in a nursing home; he has a trauma brain injury that is severe and the doctors are not giving us much hope but after hearing all of these different stories or testimonies,my hope have come alive again!I know that GOD is going to restore my son and his life is going to be better than ever before and i will share his testimony and encourage him to do the same and to never be Ashame!It takes a lot of courage to endure and over come situations like this but with Love, Hope and Faith, GOD will see us all through.Once again i would like to thank each and everyone of you for sharing your stories and encourage you all to keep the faith.I don't really know what any of you are going through because everyone's story is uniquely different but i do know that You are going through something that's very Hard and stories like this help people like us keep hope alive ! Take care

Sep 3rd, 2013 7:00pm

Feeling so overwhelmed right now after 5 1/2 years since my son's TBI. Will write more later, but right now, I feel so hopeless.....

Sep 3rd, 2013 6:21pm

I dont even know where to begin here i am googling and see if theirs anyone out there who suffers the same fate as i am.5 months ago today my son suffers a fall from a third floor to the second floor while sitting down on a stair railing,the neuro surgeon told us that there is no hope for him, as my daughters and i prepare for that reality. But the next morning we got a call from the surgeon telling us that they hve detected a brainstem activity and move his left arm towards his chest so they ask permission to do craniostomy to relieve the pressure from his brain,long story short here we are we have to take him home with us and care for him we dont have a big family just me and my 2 daughters and we are all work as well, he does have health insurance his under my policy,but him not being able to responds to commands health insurace would not cover for any type of rehabilitation stay,this is the toughest situation i ever have to face seeking advice from anyone out there from a parent in Orlando, Fl. Thank you.

Aug 16th, 2013 5:16pm

My husband is into his 9month as a patient following TBI last December. . and in a low awareness state. Yesterday I was told my husband will never walk, talk or feed himself ever again. Reading your story has given me hope. Everything you wrote is exactly what I would write. As you say unless someone has personally experienced this it's very difficult for them to understand the thoughts and feelings myself and my family are going through. Thankyou

Aug 15th, 2013 3:59am

Thank you for sharing your family's story. My 25-year old son recently experienced this life-altering injury. As a mom I'm trying to educate myself and identify resources for him and my family as a whole. My son is about two months into his "new being" and doing amazingly well! Your story was inspiring, this is evidenced by the fact that I'm leaving this message, because I've never posted anything online! God bless and continued healing/progression!

Aug 12th, 2013 8:04pm

i had a tbi at the age of 6. My parents were told that I would be a vegetable if I did come out of the 2 week coma. I am now 35. I work fulltime as a Lender at a Credit Union for the last 10 yrs, graduated from a 3 yr Chemical Engineering Technology program in College, also completed a 2 yr college program for Dental Assistant while in highschool which I started at the age of 16. I have my driver's license. I volunteer teaching others the Bible. The only grade i repeated was grade 1 because i had missed so much school due to the tbi. If i can do it, your kids can! I find sometimes i feel depressed but i do not take meds, i find that i do not possess the "mental filter" that would prevent me from saying things i shouldn't.. the impulsiveness is my problem. I am daily working on that and the organizational issues. If i feel overwhelmed, i can't organize my thoughts, have a hard time organizing my work.. so deep breath, and one thing at a time. I don't know if this should still be affecting me.. any input? your story inspires me! thank you!

Jul 30th, 2013 10:33pm

I pray for all of you I also have a brain injury daughter she is 35 yrs. old it happen 9 yrs ago her husband. Was in the army he was station in Ford Hood in Kileen Texas he came from Iqa for a two week leave on the 3 th day of his ariveral she claps. We were told a virus from foreign country attact her heart her kidneys shout down and she was in a coma for a week or so well she came out of her coma and her kidneys worked y up but the damage was done she lost oxide to her brain and damage some of her brain stems.. She is bed bound spasam and has no memory of who she is or her son and family short after that her husband adanded. Her and their son me and my husband are caring for her. Even that nine years past it effects me like it happen yesterday it is killing me little by little I strongly feel that some where and some one can help her she is on Medicaid and believe. Me I have to fight then for any thing and everything not get help for her she used to talk now she hardly talks she is smart most of the time she understands us but she needs help Medicaid. Limites on what they will pay for we live on social security and taking care of her and raising ny grandson it's not easy I wish some one will get a interested in my daughter. And help us so yes I know what you are going through God Bless us all and if any one knowns where we can get help for my daughter. Please e-mail me rodriguez7749@sbcglobal.net thanks

Jun 19th, 2013 8:17pm

Hi All! Today is my 23 year anniversary from my TBI. Was hit head on my bicycle. Life has never been the same. I still work as an Electrical Engineer/Programmer but takes me a lot longer and harder to get the job done . Im lucky in some ways but I still dream of running like I did in the old days

Jun 7th, 2013 10:01pm

as I read your story it was all to familiar and I started to cry. My son suffered a tbi alomst 5 years ago he layed in a coma for 24 days and fought so hard for his life as I did. Now I know he is not the same person but he feels he is. he has started to use heavy drugs (meth) and is no longer my sweet little boy. I dont know who or where to turn I need help I need a drug rehab but I am still paying over a million in hospital and rehab bills I cant even get a loan so if any one knows of anywhere please call me 8016369352 I am not ready to bury my child

May 31st, 2013 4:00am

I can so relate to everything you said, until you got to the part about your son Paul getting work and being able to get into higher education. My daughter, Ashley, had a massive stroke at age 16, resulting in her TBI. She was born with Pulmonary Atresia - a congenital heart defect and had prior to her stroke, had 4 heart surgeries - newborn, age 1 1/2, age 8 1/2 and age 10. It is believed that her stroke was caused by a blood clot that traveled through her lungs (which are now grafted to her heart) and came into her heart through the small hole that remained after her 4th heart surgery. Long story short...we've traveled your road....bumpy and winding. This has not been easy or anyone. Like Paul, Ashley's friends seemed to drift off for one reason or another. She lost the use of her right arm from the elbow down and walks still with a limp. She lost 10 years of schooling, making her only have the academic ability of a 2nd grader. She struggles with balance and falls alot. My daughter, like Paul, is a very determined and strong-willed person, which has helped her along the way, but also makes it hard for me as her parent. Her father had passed away just 6 years prior to her stroke. Shortly after her stroke, I lost my mother, my father and my brother. My network of people to help me cope and give me a place to go for strength, comfort and understanding had shrank drastically! Ashley is now 30 years old. She looks like a 30 year old and wants so desperately to BE a 30 year old. But when she plateaued, the Vanderbilt doctors told us that she would most likely never proceed much past a young teenager. Her ability to process thought was altered, her understanding of consequences and responsibility and maturity would be that of a 13-16 year old. Couple that with a 2nd grade education and the use of only one hand and it's a parents nightmare! I love my daughter with all my heart and would do anything for her. It's so hard to see her want to be grown, try so hard to be accepted, loved and understood and meet huge barriers in her way in every direction. She has a very difficult time finding work, and an even harder time being able to keep work. She has a hard time waking up in the mornings,, and a hard time getting to sleep at night. She is a beautiful young woman and it breaks my heart that her life has been restrained to the place that it has. She tells everyone there is nothing she can't do and that she's NOT disabled. She says she just has to learn to do things in a different way. She's an inspiration to me and to all who know her, but even that doesn't stop the pain in this mother's heart of knowing that her precious daughter will never be able to live a normal life, have children, go to college or become the doctor that she'd always dreamed of becoming. God bless you and all of those families who are dealing with TBI. It's a real monster!

May 14th, 2013 5:02pm

We are 12 years out from a tbi that my husband sustained in a car accident. He was rear ended sitting at a stop light. We were fortunate in so many ways but i guess ignorance is bliss. We had no idea the damage that would follow. Learning to live with the injury...a new and very different man...the anger..pain...confusion.. Our family, business, and marriage has suffered greatly. Funny though no one knew because there were no gaping wounds. Its tough, sad and scary. Im still not sure if he is stable as he has made ALOT of bad decisions, and swears he is not hurt and is just fine. Make you wonder who the crazy one is.Its a tough injury on the whole family structure. Im still married but not sure how to hold on to someone I dont know, dont understand, dont trust and cant believe. My heart goes out to all of you that are the mother, as I too would do anything for my child. But as the wife just how much can you do when nothing in your life makes sense and the man you counted on to help get you through is no longer there through no fault of his own. I am thankful for My Father in heaven, He is and has been my strength throughout all of this. I forget to have compassion and patience and love unconditionally when the hurt and pain is so deep.

Apr 20th, 2013 1:01am

As I read the article and all of the comments I feel grief and that gut twisting dread that never seems to be far off. My son is a tbi casualty and the collateral damage has been massive. Three years after his MVA, I live, take care of and deeply love a young man who has little in common with the son I raised. An intelligent and gifted athlete, he is now in a wheelchair with a right sided weakness, limited fine motor control, and a severe short term memory loss issue. He is still intelligent and has a wicked sense of humor (something the doctors told us was not possible due to the extent of his brain injuries) and he has all the normal desires and needs of a young man of 23 years. But he is isolated. He is lonely and it is difficult to find things for him to do given all of his challenges. But it is not all gloom and despair. He has gone from a semi-vegetative state to relearning how to swallow, talk, sit up in a wheelchair, move a wheelchair, feed and dress himself to now learning to use a walker. He will walk again and god help us when he does, cause he's a handful in a WC! Change does happen, not always fast or in the direction you might have been hoping for, but it sneaks in when you don't expect it. Sometimes the results can be hilarious (if you have a sense of humor and trust me, you'll need it) He is on Medicaid and most of his rehab has been done by us, and it's a learn as you go process. It's almost like I am re raising him only he is a lot bigger this time around.

Apr 15th, 2013 12:12am

Thank you for sharing your story. I have a sister that suffered a TBI while having a baby at the age of 27, 9 years ago. The hospital gave her too much medicine which made her heart stop beating and she was given an C section. When it started back she was placed in a coma for two weeks when she woke up we were told that she had a TBI. Her baby was placed in the NICU while her mom was in the ICU. Her baby is alive and well (except for asthma and behavioral problems) She made a lot of progress but she has a long way to go. Also the progress wasn't fast enough for her insurance company. Every time she went to OT PT and Speech therapy her insurance would cut her off. Now we got her in a vocational program. We don't know how it will work out but we hope it is for the best. She's a totally different person. She has no motivation and knows what to do. She just doesn't know how to carry it out. She's in denial about having a TBI. I don't know how I can help her continue to improve if she denies that she has a TBI. Mainly my mom and I do most of the work and with the added stress of dealing with the courts and assisting with the upbringing of her daughter we at times grow weary. This article was helpful. I reminded me that someone understands what we as a family are going through.

Apr 6th, 2013 3:39pm

I know and feel all your pain My daugther who is 28 now and was 23 when she got into a car accident and suffered severe tbi. I she was not on my medical and had to go on medicare. Which did not help. We basically let to deal with ourselves, and we are still dealing with issues. She is fighting so hard to be independent, and makes not so good decisions. She doesn't allow us to help her. She is getting better but after 5 years she still has a long way to go. with countless visist to the ER. She has Hallucinations and Paranoid. She has been given anti Phsycotic med. Cogen with did not help at all. Makes bad judgement calls, and Is convinced she is pregant, posioned. I am at a loss as what to do. The issue is it is a medical condition, and not mental. This has not been an easy road, and My child is in a crack in the system. There has to be an answer. It is amazing on how one day can change your whole word. I don't want to but my child in a group home, but I need to make sure she is safe. I am hoping one day she will just be, better, I can only hope, and pray.

Mar 16th, 2013 12:33am

To the person who posted in Jan saying it has been 14 years since their accident, please don't give up. My brother suffered a tbi when he was brutally assaulted and we helped him to remember things by showing him old photos, playing his favourite songs, anything to trigger his memories. Please don't give up. Let me know if you want to chat more.

Mar 15th, 2013 5:58pm

To the Lady that Lives in Florida that her son is 14 Years old, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT, my son was involved in a MVA Dec 2009, at age 22, he was in a coma for 3 1/2 months, and th eonly things the doctors could tell us was, the he was going to be in a vegetative state. We also live in Florida, but there is no Hospital or Rehab center here for a TBI at least a good one...WE were fighting with the hospital/Insurance Company/Social Workers and everyone else who wanted to kick us out. After three months in the Hospital and after his Cranioplasty, we took him to the best center for TBI..Its in Atlanta Georgia. called Shepherd Center, they have a floor ONLY for TBI it's strictly a rehab Hospital with a great awakening program. Give them a call, and you will see better results. Have Faith, and Patience.

Mar 14th, 2013 11:53am

I am the guardian for my brother, he was hit by a drunk driver when he was 21, he is now 53, our mother was his guardian for over 20 years till she developed Alzheimer's, I cared for both of them till mom had to go into a nursing home.. My brother has reached some major mile stones, he continues to reach smaller mile stones and some times they don't stay wit him.. Being his advocate is a monumental job. He has no one else and it breaks my heart when I realize what he lost. He doesn't understand why he can not have his job or car or wife and kids. we prayed for him to be ok at the time of the accident, I agree with many of you, only those who live with the patience with TBI knows how life changing it is. God has a plan for all of us, most importantly don't try to care for someone with TBI and not get help for yourself.. My heart goes out to everyone and my prayers are with all of you..

Mar 13th, 2013 10:30pm

i am sorry to hear about your son but please remember you are his survival, and i know im so up and down i don't know if i could ever be as strong as you , but from everybody with a head injury , we thank you and thank God for people like you , thank you for showing others how to stay strong

Mar 13th, 2013 7:12pm

I was hit ine the head 10 years ago by a cast iron box while at work . I climbed telephonepoles and a co worker cut the cable without looking first . the cable and box swung down from 25 feet and hit me in the back of my head . I was awake for a few mins and then I just fell down, I came too a few mins. later and tried to go back to work but my glove caust on a pices of cable and alomost rolled me up too, at that time I had blurry vision and I sat in my truck and called my girlfriend at the time . I don\'t remember what was said but I started to drive to the hospital which the guys from my crew pointed in that direction. my vision was getting worse so I call a buddy workin in the same town he picked me up off the highway and took me in . they did a cat scan and said how do you feel and I must have said good because I was sent home . now I have lost everyone I love because after that day I was a changed man , insecure, violent,i would just blow up for no reason . I went back to work 8 months later and never had a good day since . my life is in shambles , I have tried to hide how I feel because who wants to admit they have head problems . my ex hates me and wont let me be apart of my daughters life because of the things I have done .this hurts like crazy and all I want is to help make sense of all this . the whole back of my head is flat , the upper part not the whole thing but its big. I have a hard time remembering things still , I cant stay focus , I cant have people in my life because I just hurt them and the ones who walked away are the smart one too me .i tried to go back and get help and the insurance company said i have had other head injuries so i need a dr to say what injury caused what , and that not easy . i just wanna be happy again , i wanna be a father , a friend, a guy a woman would be proud to call her own, does anyone know what i mean , i cant do this on my own anymore 989 475 1998 all info is welcome

Mar 13th, 2013 7:08pm

My son was the same way as every one and don't give up just pray and god will heal him the dr told me the same thing and he is doing good he can talk move his arms and legs he just can't walk he is in a wheelchair but some day he will walk I'm going to bring him home and work with him and get him there I told my other kids just have faith and we did every time Jason would do any thing the dr said its involuntary movement. But it wasn't and we told Jason while he was in a coma that the dr was trying to write him off and we need for him to show them he was still there and while funeral arrangement he opened his eyes and the nurse call me and told me to get up there and when I got there she said he opened his eyes and u know then god answered my prayers. So please don't give up and it has been hard for all of us but I will fight to the end and never will I give up on him

Jan 31st, 2013 12:59am

My 28 year old daughter was in a very bad car accident on Dec 22nd. You know it's bad when the chaplin meets you at the door in the ER.She has severe diffuse axonal...and severe lack of oxgagen to the brain. She was in ICU for 16 days...now in a brain injury rehab for another week. Then they are moving her to what i think is nothing other than a nursing home with TBI thery for 2 hours a day!! Really? She is on medicad and I believe if she had private insuranceshe would have better options! Is anyone have any info on dealing with medicad and getting what THEY need?She is in a consistant vegitative state with severe diffuse axonal

Jan 28th, 2013 1:49pm


Jan 20th, 2013 3:45pm

it has been 14 years since my accident. i was hit by a car, i cannot remember my life before or just after my RTA i am stuggleing to cope with my depression and anxiety. my mind is so messed up i dont know what to do?

Jan 17th, 2013 9:26pm

I enjoyed reading this, it really touched my heart! Your son Paul's story is a lot like my own. I was is a car wreck when I was 9 and I suffered TBI from the accident. I was air lifted to a bigger hospital than my local one, put under a medically induced coma and only given three days to live, I was in the coma for about a month and a week, I wasn't expected to make any thing of my self...

Jan 3rd, 2013 9:38pm

this really helps me know to not give up. I was in a car wreck march 5th of 2011. I fractured my skull in four places broke my back fractured seven ribs, punctured both lungs and lacerated my liver. I was in a coma for almost two months, before my accident I made great money I had a dream family. I have two wonderful kids, I'm far from healed.I had to relearn everything walking, talking, eating food, I use to be in great shape I went to the gym everyday ate very healthy,my long term memory is good it's the short term that is iffy.I'm actually going back to college now to learn my life long dream, that is to be an architect. I passed all my assessment tests. I think family is the most important part of recovery for TBI. Thank you everyone for sharing the life long changes TBI has created.

Dec 31st, 2012 7:29pm

My son was 15 and in a Mva 11/5/10. 2 yrs later he finally responds but cannot talk or walk. We mourn the loss of our son every day. Ian is working hard but his cognition seems poor and child like, although he seems to read simple words when we give him choices by grabbing the flash card. We eat breath and live for this boy. The loss of his friends is difficult, they re all going off to college. He goes to a handicapped program in a public HS but that's only until he's 21. Then what.? Worse yet his sister who was the driver tries to cope away at college. It's lonely for all of us. The support group locally is leap years ahead in cognition compared to Ian. These are just my daily thoughts

Dec 17th, 2012 10:14pm

Reading the main article and all of these comments, brings back the haunting memories of a night deluged with the wail of sirens, horns, and distant flashes, reflections of emergency vehicle lights. On the night of June 22, 2012 I was sitting at my best friends' apartment porch...waiting for him to get home from spending a little time with his boss and bosses' family. We all worked together at a chemical plant turnaround...12 hour days, 7 days a week and the perfect environment to really get to know someone, and we spent nearly a half year doing just that. Matthew Shane Wright was on the last leg of an 18 minute drive home, when he suddenly lost control of his truck and ran into a ditch, and ultimately...the head-on collision with a tree. I am but a half mile away, still waiting for him to get home, without knowing where the echoing screeches and impact noise were coming from. The accident required Jaws of Life to extract him from the truck. I had just arrived on the scene when they were frantically cutting away at his full-sized extended cab truck which looked like a single cab truck. I wanted to run through the barricade and hold my friends' hand and tell him everything was going to be alright, and that I love him. Of course, law enforcement would not let me through the barricade as I was not immediate family. I could only talk to him through the focused and frantic efforts of emergency personnel, I could only hope and pray that this scene was not real, for I saw the delight of my life holding on to his own fragile existence. First he became a friend, then he became a true friend, almost a brother and at times. Once Matthew was removed from the carcass of his truck, he lay motionless on the gurney, motionless and quiet; as if he were asleep. As law enforcement and EMT began to seek answers from me, I spoke as loud as I could; knowing that Matt would hear me telling the officers and EMT personnel that Matthew Wright is my best friend, a fine young man and a hard-working, God fearing true friend. As we were waiting for the Life Flight helicopter to arrive, I was told that he was breathing on his own, but yet to know that he had sustained life-threatening injuries that he would never recover from. So, I stood there like a statue, still not believing the scene I was witnessing, and I do believe my heart and soul left my body that very night...for I did not move in what seemed eons of time. Still holding on to his Life, they prepared to move Matthew into an ambulance and then drive a short distance to meet the helicopter which would be landing nearby. I double-checked with all officials as to which hospital he would be Life-Flighted to, and so I made my way back to my truck in preparations to head to emergency. I stopped, turned around and then pleaded with someone, that I could ride in the helicopter with my friend, but no such luck this night. It was at this time, as I had already walked feverishly away towards my own truck...disappearing out of view from the glaring lights and into the darkest night... that Matthew Shane Wright would pass away... God Bless all of you - to whom still have their loved ones in some form, to hold and touch and smile and share, however different it may be. Rest In Peace Matthew Wright

Nov 12th, 2012 2:42pm

My brother was in a serious car accident a week and 4 days ago. His friend, him and another girl were in the car, him in the passenger seat, no seatbelt, going 80 down a back neighborhood road. Ended up losing control and flying 30 yards into the woods. A marine heard the crash and just happened to be a trauma doctor. He saved my brothers life...He gave my brother, excuse my spelling, a traectomy? (Hole in neck for breathing), on site because Zach, my brother, wasn't breathing when the marine arrived. He was airlifted to NHRMC. He's in the STICU with 2 broken ankles, a broken femur, a broken elbow, broken wrist and a fracutured lumbar 5 and his pelvis is fractured...He's in a medical drug coma, probably will be for a week more. We got told that he has pneumonia and will go on antiboitics for it. His ICP has been ranging from 8-25, which the doctors want below 16, the lower the better at this point. Please pray for my brother, he's only 19 years old. He's got so much to live for. This site really helped me feel more comfortable with my situation. Please pray<3

Oct 25th, 2012 1:41am

Thank you all for your inspiring stories. My beautiful, intelligent, zeal for life, 18 year old daughter was in a mva April 1, 2012, on her way to spring break. Her car was stopped in the highway and she was hit by another driver going 80 miles an hour. She was cut from her car and medivaced to a nearby trauma center after 30 days she was transferred back home to a inpatient rehab then sent home to emerge and now is in outpatient rehab. I know you all can imangine the feeling when the local police knocked on my door to inform me my only child was in NICU. I had to give permission over the phone to do a cainectomy to remove a blood clot. It has been six months and she is progressing well in rehab. She is learning everything all over again. She will not talk longer than 45 mins to an hour and only when she is on her medication. She is my whole life and I miss her so much. I pray all day everyday. I cry everyday throughout the day when I think about the old her and yearn for her to have a positive happy future. She is on brain stimulants and seems to be mentally capable when she is on her meds but when she is not on her meds its like she is in la la land. She is slowly transitioning to doing somethings without meds. Although she has all of her intelligible information and gets 90 to 100% on knowledgeable information. There is a disconnect somewhere but I can't seem to understand where. My question is will she always need to be on brain stimulants or will she eventually be able to use her own brain after rehab. I know that God saved her and that she has a purpose so I know I have to wait for God to heal her and do my part to love and take care of her. Bless all of us that have to endure this pain and understand you never know when it could happen to you. God will help us through this storm and our lives will shine again. God bless.

Oct 17th, 2012 4:06pm

thank you for sharing - i had an avm just 1 year ago - when i was 44 years old; im a mom of 2 boys - but don't think they understand that i will never be the same...

Oct 15th, 2012 8:40am

Thank you for writing your story, you are a real inspiration. All the best to your family.

Sep 28th, 2012 12:58pm

Thank you Dixie, my son\\\'s best friend was in an ATV accident on August 12, 2012 and he received a severe brain injury. He has been out of the medicated coma for 3 weeks and now shows only left hand movement and his eyes are open. He does groin but that is how far the improvements have shown at this point. It has been only 4 weeks but the doctors also say he is coming very slowly. I will sit here crying for my son best friend and my son. My son works and then rushs to spends every minute off of work with him. Thank you for giving the heads up on what could come out of this and what my son might have to endure. My son was the one that saved his friend, they were ATVing together when it happened and my son has his first training and knew that he would have to stop the blood from his friends brain from going into his lung at the accident, so he did. The specialists told my son that he had safed his best friend and now he is willing to go through anything to help him get back to somewhat of a life. My son turned 22 years old on August 15,2012, in the hospital with his friends family and friends. He would not leave the hospital on that day or any day for a whole week. Thank you, so now I know what my son is going to go through.

Sep 10th, 2012 7:56am

To the family of Jesi. Don't let the doctors tell you she is not in there. 11 days is way early in brain injury. If she squeezes your hand keep talking to her. My daughter suffered a TBI November 2011. Doctors told us her responses were impulse. Many people are told to give up on their children. Be there for her and apply for social security disability now and medicaid. There is lots of help and resources. Don't give up. Ask for the social worker of the hospital and keep being a squeeky wheel. I had to fight constantly for my daughters care and rehabilitation. I am still fighting and she is so glad I am there for her. She can't speak yet but can smile and gesture. She is with us and we are so blessed. Her progress is slow but the brain is remarkable.

Aug 29th, 2012 12:17am

My wife and constant companion of 42 years suffered an anoxic event after surgery on May 19, 2012. Until that time I had never heard of anoxia. Now after over 100 days in hospitals and rehab facilities I have the basic and shocking understanding of the TBI. My wife and I have worked together every day in our married lives in our business. Now I do not have that loving person covering my back, much less doing all of the many things that she did that I never saw. I also inherited the overseeing of the care of her sister, who is in a care facility, who has dementia. The striking thing is that both women exhibit similar conditions, with the exception that my wife can no longer walk. I know that we will survive this challenge that we are facing. Reading your comments also gives me the hope and faith that I am not alone in this new world that I never knew. Our son tells me that the Lord does not give us more than we can handle. I hope and pray that I am up to it.

Aug 25th, 2012 10:29pm

Talk about reliving the whole experience again. Our son was hurt at 5 and is now 36. I can relate to some of the experiences of relearning to walk and talk again, but now we are dealing with the after affects 31 years later. He has a lot of depression in his life and the experience totally changed his life socially, physically, emotionally. Like you said, only the family can relate because they are there everyday. Other family members suffer, the marriage suffers, but you just do the best you can. It is heartbreaking to the family but all you can do is take one day at a time and hope for the best. Thank you for sharing your story to let us know we are not all alone.

Aug 20th, 2012 2:10am

26 years and counting. good luck to all

Aug 19th, 2012 1:10pm

My son just turned 37 in Feb. seizures lead to TBI. Same Icu Hospital rehabs We are in our 6-7 month. I love him so. I find it hard to visit. What is wrong with me? we had always been close.A mother who need help.

Aug 16th, 2012 12:41pm

11 days ago our bright, intelligent, funny, beautiful daughter Jesi was maimed by a drunk driver (no insurance). Still in NICU, she is a shell. She squeezes our hand and that's about it- docs don't know if it's purposeful or not. Cannot eat, sleep as we fear or her future. We fear for our future. We fear everything including bankruptcy to get her what she needs. We hada perfect life. Perfect kids. What have we been dealt? Unless with her I'm in bed crying. Will most certainly lose my job. The anger at the drunk driver that hit her is overpowering. Please help. I bought Dixie's book yesterday (coincidentally) and found this site today. Someone please help us!!

Aug 15th, 2012 10:01am

Wow, I can relate with all of you! I haven\\\'t had anyone that understood for 17 yrs after we left rehab. My daughter has a car accident age 17. She is now 34 yrs old. She was in a coma for 9 days. She just started having trouble with speak, droopy face. The hosptial says ekg said she has been having seizures right along. I could never tell. Sometimes her husband can\\\'t wake her up so he calls an ambulance. The doctors do nothing and tell him to stop briniging her in? WHAT! Think we need to go to diffent part of the state to get help. Never heard that you go back to how you were after you woke up from a coma, all these years later. Any commnets would be appreciated.

Aug 12th, 2012 11:12am

Ten years out... I can't even imagine. We are at the 6 month mark and every day is a battle and blessing. This is exactly what I needed to read tonight, thank you for sharing. I wasn't a blogger before the accident but if you have a chance here is our blog http://yatesfamilynews.blogspot.com/ Thank you so much for sharing, it is so scary to think about what kind of future our little boy will have and you have given me peace of mind.

Aug 7th, 2012 4:26am

I have been experiencing quite a unique recovery, since my car accident at age 17. I am now 22 and happily engaged, about a month or so ago, I had begun to endure these very light and brief ice-pick headaches. Now, the symptoms have become much more frequent and far more intense. They had initially varied in location in my head, also had only lasted maybe 10 seconds and now it has progressed to zoning in on one spot for about 6 minutes at a time. I have to wait atleast three more days before speaking with my neurologist. Is there anything that you might suggest?

Aug 6th, 2012 6:18pm

These stories gives us so much hope. My 14yr old nephew was involved in an accident 5 weeks ago and is diagnosed with a TBI. We are 10 days into rebab and were told if he does not progress to a Level 4 on the Ranchos by Wed. we are being released to go home. He will only have 2 weeks of rehab and we are not medically comfortable bringing him home. He has a trach and a feeding tube, countless medications. He is in a vegetative state now and requires so much medically. How are some people getting several months of therapy and we only get 2 weeks? We live in the FLA area and would like to stay here if possible. At this point, we are willing to travel anywhere to get him the best early care as possible. Any advice/suggestions?

Jul 15th, 2012 2:29pm

My 27 year old son was involved in a motorcycle accident on Memorial weekend. The driver of the car was at fault and had no insurance, no alcohol was involved and my son was wearing a helmet. He sustained a head injury (craniectomy), pelvic fracture, and other internal injuries. However, he is healing and functioning well. He is learning to walk with a walker while his hip heals. I try to stay focused on the next procedure or the present success. If I look to the future I see potential loses and a black hole of unknown. He has a college degree, a wonderful career, many friends, a great girlfriend, his own condo, car and boat. These he may lose. I haven\'t come to terms with that yet as I hold out hope for a great recovery. On the other hand, I am so thankful to have my son and thrilled that he is functioning so well. He speaks clearly, chuckles, and is remembering better. But he is also more irritable, fatigued and weak. He is coming home soon and will receive outpatient rehab. I would like to talk to other mothers. Please contact me at south09@ymail.com

Jul 13th, 2012 10:35pm

Great article! My wife has experienced a very similar road to recovery. Physical and mental difficulties are one thing... social changes make the condition feel even more isolating. Despite the challenges, life can still be good. Read about it if interested at www.inspiredrecovery.net. Thanks, Jason.

Jul 13th, 2012 7:21pm

My 24 year-old son was in a rollover accident on Memorial Day. He was not wearing his seatbelt and his alcohol level was 2.0. He spent four weeks in ICU and had a craniaotomy because of a hematoma on the left side of his brain. He also broke his neck, his lumbar, collarbone, his hip, and all of his ribs. He is now in a transitional acute care hospital before he transfers to Barrows Nurological Center in Phoenix. He endured four surgeries in four weeks. He is now talking lucidly much of the time although very slow. He sometimes goes into garbled words or cannot think of the right ones to say, but everyday gets better. He is now learning to wash his face, brush his teeth, and comb his hair as well as sitting at the end of his bed. He has no filter right now using many inappropriate words. His doctor said he would probably never move his legs or walk, but he moves his legs and feet like a bucking bronco. I am not ready to grieve for my old son as I am holding out hope that he will return maybe not all the same but close. I cannot bear to grieve for what he could have been with his talents, personality and intellect. He was a nationally ranked junior tennis player and competed collegiately. His passion is all sports. Thank you so much for writing your story about your son and for all the people who responded. "My may have burned but I can still see the sky." I believe. God and my family and friends are getting us through this one day at at time, one minute at a time. It breaks my heart knowing another mother is going to have to go through this, too.

Jul 4th, 2012 9:20pm

Thank You Dixie for sharing your story & to all the ones who commented. In November 2001 my then 19 yr old daughter was in a car accident which resulted in TBI. It is so nice to hear from others who really understand what we have been thru & still going thru. Thank you all for sharing.

Jun 28th, 2012 8:09pm

My son this past Feb had seziures TBI and went to the hospital thank god a new unit for head injury. was in an indused coma to heal. we Prayed and Cryed. Then in a month he went to a great temp. rehab. which was awsome. Boston he is in a wheel chair Talking perfectly one side is slow and has left side neglect. He eats on his own and soon feeding tube will be out. Then insurance sent him it a Nursing home for more rehab. that has been awful. What do we do. it has been 4 1/2 months and i see him regressing. Driving is awful. Family is all over. He was an engineering smart as ever. still has some of that, but sad. Nursing home is not so good should he be home with out patient but all that equipment would cost. He does not walk. Help Ty J

Jun 26th, 2012 3:01pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am a speech pathologist in graduate school and am currently studying TBI. I was asked to find an article and I came across your story. It was so inspiring and so touching and I just wanted to let you know that I will be sharing Paul's story with my class tonight.

Jun 6th, 2012 9:04am

I met Richard in 1994, he had fallen 43feet from scaffolding in 1986 and suffered a broken neck and head injuries,permanent hearing loss to one ear. At the time he was married with two young children.It took over a year for him to learn to walk again with leaning over, to stand straight, to put a sentence together. He found work in a garden centre but the money was nowhere near what he had earned before the fall, and with two young children knew he needed to try and get back into his old job as a Scaffolder. He approached the company he was with before the accident and remarkably they gave him a start. Unfortunately the marriage collapsed due to the change in Richard's personality shortly after this and when I met him he was living in a very poor flat. We have now been together 17 years, I adore the strength and courage of this beautiful man, he is still scaffolding and is now 59 years old. He may have a quick temper which in the early days was an issue, but I soon learnt to change the subject which had flared his brain and he would immediately calm down. The only problem I really notice is when shopping at the supermarket it may take him ages to choose things, I think the brain damage cannot deal with the products in front of him and make the snap decision of what to buy. In making conversation he can seem to take forever to get to the conclusion of his story. But he is the such a remarkable survivor. You may not all believe this but it is a totally true story. Five years ago at the age of 77 my Father who was a devout Christian had gone to get the Church he attended ready for the Easter Sunday celebration. He took a ladder to the alter to put up a banner, and the ladders came down. My Father died almost immediately. I am still suffering and find it hard to come to terms with the fact that I left my marriage to turn to the man who had lost his family because of the fall from scaffolding and losing my Father to a fall. Sometimes we have to deal with things in life which we would never believe could happen.

May 23rd, 2012 11:13am

Thank you for telling your story, it seems that every feeling and emotion that you have had I have also gone through. My son is 24yr old and its going on 3 years this June that he had an accident while putting the clip back in his gun. He had a misfire and a bullet whent into the motor skills section of his brain. He had a 10% chance to live and he beat those odds. We are very lucky for have him with us today. I still to this day am having a hard time getting him into a rehab so that he can relearn his motor skills. He had no ins. at the time of his accident, so he was put on Medicaid, which in Alabama only give 14 days of in-patient services. He just got Medicare and now they say he does not qualify for Rehab Hospitals because of the lenght of time since his accident. He needs to go in a long term rehab facility and they do not expect Medicare. Sometimes its like butting your head against a brick wall. So when you stated that you wanted to bury your head under a pillow and big blanket, I know exactly what you mean. But of coarse I continue to search for a place that he can get some intensive rehab, and hope and pray that I can find somewhere. He goes to an out patient rehab, but he needs to be in-patient to get the therapy he needs. He only has movement in his right hand and arm, so he has to have help with all of his daily needs. I will not give up on him and will not send him to live in a nursing home. I will continue to search, hope, and pray daily that I find him help. So you can see that I understand A Mother's Story Continues.

May 16th, 2012 10:48pm

Just shy of three years now, our nineteen year old daughter is a miracle indeed . She suffers from an anoxic brain injury when an undisguised infection attacked her lungs causing ARDS. She was in Children's hospital for seven months. She became septic, everything that could go wrong went wrong. But prayer saved her life. We are now dealing with her loneliness , memory loss, and violent behavior but continue to take her to a psychiatrist, neuropsychologist, etc. Despite all of this, (we walk on egg shells too) God is using her for many great things. Last night we shared her story with a key club at a local high school who help support Children's hospital in Birmingham, Al. We have a lot to be grateful for. See her story on YouTube , Katie Hamlin -child of Children's . Thank you Dixie for giving us a chance to provide hope for others.

May 10th, 2012 11:41am

Our daughter suffered a brain hemorage during brain surgery when she was 18 years old. This was a total shock to us and we somehow managed weeks of her being in the hospital and then outpatient rehab. A year after the operation, she ended up again in the hospital for seizures and other complications. She has worked so hard on her health and we are so proud of her. She is 20 years old today and on med leave from college. This has been a life altering experience for everyone in our family and we have grown spiritually as a result. She is back for the most part, but does have some memory loss and requires accomodations for any deficits. We are feeling blessed, but we work hard at it everyday. Bless you all that can relate to such an experience.

Apr 16th, 2012 1:07pm

Our son is 23 years old and he was in a bad vehicle accident on December 10, 2011. He has severe TBI to the frontal lobe. He was in a coma for 5 weeks and has since learned to walk with a cane, talk a little, but he has not gotten the feeling back in his right side yet. He has done amazingly well in 4 months and we thank God every day. I miss our old son and we wonder how much of him we will get back but I am just thankful that we still have him. It was great to read all of the stories here. I knew nothing about TBI at all until this happened. The biggest thing we have had to learn is to stand up for our son. It really does effect your whole family and can put a lot of strain on your marriage. Thanks for listening.

Apr 12th, 2012 10:42pm

Our son was 5 when he suffered a brain injury related to an ecoli outbreak. We quickly realized that the child that came out of the hospital was not the same child that went in 4 weeks earlier. For days his life hung in the balance and eventually he was discharged. He is now 16 and we are still mourning the loss of what could have been. Our thoughtful, energetic, intelligent, thoughtful and humorous child. For the past 12 years we have all been walking on egg shells trying the best we can not to set him off on one of his many and sometimes violent temper tantrums. We advocated for years for supports in school which he is now refusing. He feels no remorse and is unable to read people and thus has become a recluse. He accepts no responsibility for any of his actions . His longest job lasted one day due to the lack of social skills he has. Even with full time tutors social worker and a psychiatrist we feel that we have probably lost the battle for him. His memory is poor and his organizational skills are negligible at best. We are oh so tired and mentally exhausted from dealing with him. We hav 3 other children who we also have to try and devote our time to but he has taken so much time away from our relationship with his siblings. We love him dearly and have only wanted for him to have the best chance at life, but it just isn\'t working and we dont know what else can be done at this point. A brain I jury is truly a hardship that not many can relate to which has been equally as frustrating over the years.

Apr 11th, 2012 11:51pm

My son was in an auto accident 6 1/2 years ago and suffered a traumatic brain injury. I was told he was young and strong and to wait and see what we got. He is now 29 years old and continues to progress slowly. The road has been very difficult since he had no Insurance and was never given the opportunity to go to rehab. I work with him daily and he has regained movement on his right side and is beginning to gain some on the left side. He says a few words but uses a Zap communication device to type what he is thinking. It has been a long road but I am thankful for all of the progress he has made. All of your stories are encouraging and I wish the best to each and everyone of you.

Mar 24th, 2012 10:32am

SO sorry about what happened. From doing research on brain health I can tell you sometimes small dose of ritalin can help recharge brain. ALso the herbs bacopa monneri, ginkgo biloba and ginseng are brain tonics. Ask the doctor, well ya know what, don't bother cause they usually don't have a clue about this stuff, though they'll jump on ritalin suggestion. BUt ask anyway just for fun. Maybe the doc is smarter than most. Also, PROTEIN for the brain. Also, good news is recent brain research is showing even after a TBI, the brain is amazingly resilient and continues to HEAL over many years, especially when optimum health is constant. Eating the best, organic foods and foods with most vitamins in them is critical to healing and improving brain. THings will get better.

Mar 7th, 2012 10:21pm

Thank-you for sharing your story! I sit here and weep, I myself had a TBI almost 24 yrs ago, at the age of 12. I remember who I was before and who I had become after the injury. I have daily battles I fight due to having a head injury. I feel your pain, my parents share it too. I just want to say its awesome you are getting your story out there! Paul rocks he survived!!!

Feb 21st, 2012 10:25pm

Hi I am a mother of Alfie (12 years on from head injury), we were told all the negative stuff (will not, walk, talk, be fed with a tube and also have trachy for life). Fast forward 12 years my son has achieved so much, he has run the marathon, climbed kilimanjaro and he gives speeches in front of 300 to 400 hundred people about head injury, he is an absolute inspiration! Never ever give up and always be positive. My son always sets himself goals, his next goal is to pass his driving test (which is proving to be very very difficult) but he says that people told him he "wouldnt walk but he ran a marathan"! He will never give up and we will never give up on him

Feb 8th, 2012 1:20pm

Thank you for your story and everyone for commenting. It is only all of you who are either the patient, the parent or friend that understands all the emotions we have all gone through or go through. My daughter was a pedestrian and hit by a car 3 1/2 years ago and suffered a TBI. Fast forward after being told she would not survive, to she would be a vegetable, to she would be in a vegetative state for life etc - she is an amazing almost 13 year old girl who is a miracle. Yes she is now my "new" daughter and yes I grieve the "old" one at times when I feel weak or look at old pictures, but we did it. She learned to eat, walk, talk, everything again. Don't ever give up on yourself or your child. We were turned away from conventional therapy so we did our own with ballet, pilates, guitar, art, voice and theater. She has now auditioned and been accepted into an arts school for drama and voice. She is a miracle and keeps working to get better and find ways to over come her weaknesses. School can be a challenge but again fight for your childs rights in school and get them the help they need. Love to all of you who have suffered a TBI or family who have stood by your child or family.

Jan 23rd, 2012 1:19pm

Thank you for sharing your story. My daughter is a survivor of a TBI in 2007. She is what doctors descibe as persistent vegetative state, but I have all the faith that my daughter is still " in there" somewhere and that one day I will hear that sweet voice call me mom once again.

Jan 22nd, 2012 2:24pm

My little brother suffered a TBI just weeks after turning 18. The accident was 2 years ago. He has a similar story to other posted, over a month in a come, another month in ICU, then several months in rehab. Now two years later I have seen a total change in personality. He went from almost childlike and hilarious to violent and distributive. I will never give up on him. Reading these stories gives me hope for his future. HE is the sunshine in my life and I appreciate all of you sharing your stories. Through these difficult days I will continue to check back here for updates and encouragement. amerchant@knights.ucf.edu

Jan 7th, 2012 3:32pm

HI It\'s been 10 years since my son\'s TBI. He developed psychosis and is paranoid and delusional. It is very difficult since other than the mental illness, he is totally recovered. Linda

Jan 6th, 2012 2:58pm

I am sitting in a rehab watching my 17 year old daughter sleep. 2 weeks ago today, they did not think she would make it. She was the rear passenger in a MVA which resulted in a severe brain injury to several areas of the brain. I am definitiely grieving the loss of my lexie, but am thankful to have her here and will adapt to the new her. I miss hearing her sweet voice and that beautiful laugh that could light up a room.

Dec 21st, 2011 4:32pm

Thank you for sharing this amazing story, Dixie. I\'m so anxious to hear how Paul is doing after 20 years. He sounds like quite a warrior. And, you and your husband are amazing people. Thanx for sharing. Dream! Hope! & Believe! - Mark Elswick

Nov 30th, 2011 8:25pm

I am the grandmother of a TBI survivor for soon starting her 28 th year. She was 3 years old when she was in an auto accident. Now soon to be 31 years old she was one if not the first to survive a traumatic brain injury in the area. She is wheelchair bound ,nonverbal, totally dependent on others.A very happy person most of the time. well loved by family and any one who spends time with her even for short periods of time.She comprehends everything she hears and sees. Responds with gestures and a very limited vocabulary. anyone who has not experienced an injury of this type truly does not understand what is entailed in caring for a TBI Patient. She is the joy of her family from the oldest member to the babies. Never give up there is always hope. Her Doctors had no idea what her outcome would be, I believe its way beyond their expectations. God can do things no one else can do. Nov.8,2011

Nov 8th, 2011 3:52pm

Paul is a true hero in my eyes. His ability to overcome every obstacle is an absolute miracle. Your family's strength is astounding. I consider myself very lucky to know you, Paul, and the rest of the Coskie clan. ~SWL~

Oct 28th, 2011 3:30pm

Well, this story and the people who are replying really make me fell good!! I had a TBI in August 2010 and was in a car accident. I was in a comma for 40 days and then went to TIRR rehab in Houston Texas for another month and a half and was released!!! Im one of the very lucky ones who went thru a traumatic event and have really done good!! Other than not working now. i am doing pretty good and so thankful that I didnt go thru that vegetative state. Although I do have memory problems, for almost a year Im way better than most people. This happening still makes me cry at times and I gotta learn to understand my life better. Just gotta understand that at least I did live thru it! If anyone wants to talk to me my email is melmel1972@hotmail.com. And I have a site you can visit that Im on too Melanie

Sep 9th, 2011 5:53pm

Thank you for sharing your story. My son suffered a TBI on August 14, 2009 at the age of 17. He was a month and a day away from his 18th birthday. He was given less than 1% chance of survival, less than 5% that he would be little more than a "vegetable". He spent 17 days on a ventilator, and we were told not to expect him to be how he was prior to his accident; he was not going to be. After 17 nightmarish days, he was able to breath on his own, although he couldn't so much as swallow his own saliva. He slowly started his long road to recovery. He was transferred out of ICU one month after his TBI to the rehab unit at CHLA where he spent 5 weeks. There he had to re-learn how to walk, eat, speak, drink....He went from being super-polite and repetitive to vulgarities every second. After being discharged from CHLA he spent four long months at a brain injury rehab facility (CNS) where he had up to 7-8 hours of intense therapies. Seven months after his TBI he finally underwent a cranioplasty to replace his missing skull with a prosthetic (which we had to fight for because we were told it was a "cosmetic procedure"). Miraculously, my son graduated with his class (he finished his remaining high school credits on-line and with lots of help from his school), he works part-time and is a full-time student. He now gives speeches on the dangers of drugs and alcohol. He was a passenger in a carfull of teenagers that were all under the influence after attending a "rave". I'm thankful I still have my son, although he is definitely not the same as before. This experience changed him; he's a very mature 19 year old who is no longer the "popular" kid. We like that just fine. He's been able to share his experience with others his age and hopefully, he's managed to save a few lives.

Jul 29th, 2011 7:50pm

Thank you for sharing your family's life. Our youngest son is also 10 years post TBI.

May 22nd, 2011 9:24am

Thank you for your testimonial. It is so encouraging and bring tears to my eyes as I remember that last year on nov 2010 our 21 year old son suffered a hit and run accident, he was the pedestrian. Hours,days and weeks of constant agony,physical and mental tiredness to the extreme. But in the mist of all this God was watching and rewarding our faith. Yes, you are right, my son is different, he says " mom I feel like I just came out of your womb". Everything is new for him, our face complexions,birds, ceiling fan, light switch.Thank God for the support of the family which has been united more in love which has made us stronger. After five months of his accident one friend remains there ( I even gave him info about TBI to help my son better), in the mean time we are building a new world for him compossed of new friends, spiritual support thru church, showing him the world(people,places etc) and also enriching his new view towards life. Soon he will start outpatient therapy and will return home for good,he has not been home for five months and recently started coming on weekend passes.The stress level is a tiny bit lighter, but is going to be a very long journey, but God will carry us all the way.

Apr 21st, 2011 8:36pm

I'm grateful for Paul's recovery and where he is today. This story gives me hope in that my very much loved boyfriend suffered a TBI on Feb. 22, 2010, and after being in a coma for 2 wks and 2 days was transferred to a rehab hospital where they keep saying he is progressing very slowly. He hasn't reached intense therapy level yet. Needs 24 hour care and not sure if he really knows who I am. I surf the internet for stories of hope and promise. Your story gave me some hope. Thank you.

Apr 7th, 2011 4:55pm

Our daughter is a little over a year into TBI recovery - slow and painful. I try hard to see ten years down the road what she may be - certainly not the vibrant young woman (21) she was before March 18th, 2010. She is still on a feeding tube and trach and we fight insurance daily to get her treatment. Your story resonates with us. I'm glad to hear and see the progress your son has made - it renews my hope. God is good!

Apr 2nd, 2011 5:21am

Your story is so fresh for me as a mother, yet I know I am so, so blessed. My son was injured 9 months ago and was considered 1 in 50,000 that would make a 98%+ recovery. As I read all of the comments and stories, you put into words what I feel. In 9 months we have progressed a million miles it seems. After learning to swallow, walk, and dress again we focused on the mental tasks at hand. Having a child who has suffered from TBI is huge, but it takes such a huge toll on the other children in the home as well. My son is doing great, but as the parent you see small things and know that they are struggling. You article is wonder and gives hope to people suffering as well. Any small sound that is associated with the night of the accident brings thoughts crashing back as if it were yesterday. If I can give people any advice it is to never cease in prayers because my son is living proof they will be answered. Never stop loving or searching for the answer no matter how large or small the problem. As small bumps in the road arise, I continue to be thankful for all that I have been blessed with and hope that all of you will continue to receive his healing blessings. Another person I met in the trauma unit during our stay always says 'love wins' and that statement is so true.

Mar 24th, 2011 8:12pm

Reading your story brings back so many memories for me. My son was hit by a car when he was 4 and wasn\'t suppose to live and if he did he was to be a vegetable...Logan is now 11 years old and has been walking on his own for about 6 months. You know even though it\'s been almost 7 years since his accident you are right that it does change your entire life and people who don\'t live it have no idea. So many people say to me aww Logan is doing so good and yes he is and he is my miracle boy but life will never be the same and unless you live it you have no idea. Sometimes I feel so alone, I think because my family sees how far he has come that they forget that he will never be \"normal\". Like you I have 2 other children and all of my kids were young when Logan got hit although my case is a little different because my youngest daughter has severe autism. It\'s bad enough feeling torn apart from other kids while you spend countless days and hours at the hospital with 1 child but not being able to be home with a child with a disability made it even harder because she only responded to me and she had a really rough time. It makes me so happy to hear other peoples success stories. Mircles really do happen!

Mar 24th, 2011 2:48pm

My son just turned 20 in January. He was riding in the back seat of a car that was hit by a large SUV in July last year. The rehab hospital sent him home in December because he hadn't even progressed enough for the intensive therapy there. He is still uncommunicative and still being tube fed. We have therapists coming to the house twice a week but I worry we are doing enough. He suffered with kidney stones and seizures all in the last 2 months. I know I need to mourn the loss of my intelligent, kind, energetic, and compassionate son that was but I'm still struggling with that on top of the exhaustion. Thanks for your blog because it really helps to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if it won't be perfect.

Mar 7th, 2011 11:38am

Thank you for sharing your experience with TBI. I am new to this game as a participating recovering TBI victim, although as a former (an identification I recently forced myself to use) TBI provider identification of weakness is a bitter pill to swallow. Yet, being new I can strength from stories like yours as it shows evidence of hope and results in recovery. I am amazed in the human experience of overcoming the negative aspect that TBI presents and yet the acceptance of the potential for permanent disabling factors. I like your son it was told to my love ones that to expect me to have limited recovery, never to walk and to be wheel chaired bound remainder of my life. My injury occurred at age 58 now 2 yrs post and I am walking on my own power. Proving the medical providers wrong, being alive is a major miracle. But in my case I have experience a life time of events. The fact TBI is unique and different for each victim my purpose is yet to be defined. Most likely my age is a blessing and I hope that ten years from now the comment will be positive contribution and not one of resignation. I COMPLIMENT YOU, YOUR SON AND FAMILY FOR PROVIDING HIM THAT POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT. Especially with all the negative reactions, comments, obstacles and molds that others expect from TBI.

Mar 6th, 2011 5:28pm

My son is 14 and 8 years ago he received a TBI. We fight everyday for his education and well-being. We move often, so friends are the biggest problem. And of the few he does meet, they realize quickly that he is not a normal teenager. They soon back off. We are trying, and will continue to try, everything and anything that might help him. Thank you!

Mar 4th, 2011 6:01pm

Thank you for this wonderful article! It is the first time I have ever felt that someone had walked a mile in my shoes. Dixie, how you explained everything, is exactly how I have been feeling, but never have put into words...and the last part about the ambulances made me cry as I do that as well. I can't thank you enough!

Mar 4th, 2011 4:41pm

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I suffer from a TBI as well and have had many changes in my life. My husband has left me and my oldest daughter as well. I still, thank God, have my other daughter and my son with me. They continually give me the strength to go on and continue to see the good things that have come with such a tramatic injury. Thank you again for writing your story. It was truly understood.

Mar 4th, 2011 9:16am

Thank you for your story. What an inspiration for many suffering with TBI.. My son, at age 19, suffered a traumatic brain injury and we were afraid he would not make it through. Miraculously, he was out of the ICU in 3 weeks and in rehab for one week. We got him home and he was back to normal in less than 6 months, you never would have known. We were the lucky ones. And then the unthinkable happened, 16 months after the first accident he was in a fatal motorcycle accident. What I wouldn't do to have my son back, even if it meant he had TBI. Just cherish the time with your kids because you never know when it can be taken away. kyle's mom

Mar 4th, 2011 8:38am

Thank you so much for this article. My son, Michael, suffered a TBI at 4 years old. He is now 8 (almost 9) and as we come closer to the 5 Year Anniversary, I can't help but try and imagine what his future holds. Your story gives people like me so much hope. Right now it's all a dream that Michael will walk independently, and go to college. Your son is a wonderful and true inspiration to us ALL.

Mar 4th, 2011 8:10am

Dixie-your story is such an inspiration to so many others. Glad to hear of Paul's milestones. Thank you for sharing. Karen Green

Mar 3rd, 2011 10:43pm

Thanks so much for writing this, Dixie. We\'re now one week into Year Three with Michael. His cognitive/memory issues continue to be his largest hurdle, but we\'re quickly learning all about the off-balance walking as he opts to put his walker aside in more settings. You, Paul and your family are a great inspiration to all!

Mar 3rd, 2011 4:16pm

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