For Military and Veterans Military & Veterans

Maintaining Relationships with Family and Friends After TBI and PTSD

Adam Anicich, Army Veteran
December 4, 2013

Recent Blog Posts

Advice for Caregivers: Walking in the Shoes of a Loved One with TBI and/or PTSD
Using Communities to Further the True Meaning of Resiliency
Every Journey Starts with That First Step, Especially with TBI and/or PTSD
Maintaining Relationships with Family and Friends After TBI and PTSD
TBI and PTSD: Getting the Help You Need, Now

Adam talks frankly about his challenges with keeping up with family and friends since his injury; he has good intentions but following through remains difficult.

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Comments (9)

Cindy replied on

My brain injury has been the opposite. I have reconnected with many people from my past and even reconnected with close family relatives that we were not good about keeping in contact before. I don’t know if maybe the fact that I could have died from my MVA might have put a natural desire to reconnect and just connect with others differently and much more authentically than I had before. There are other areas that have been a struggle. Keeping up with people the last 9-10 months has been awesome. Things are calming down with my symptoms, I had a LOT of fear initially. I also experienced anxious fast talking and at times laughing! I have double vision which exacerbates the feelings of the brain trauma. I am thankful to be alive and my life is on a new journey.

valentine replied on

Most of my friends abandoned me after I got brain damage biking and went into status coma for a bit. I was made fun of and belittled by my boss for asking for help during a seizure. I have no one around. Disability doesn't afford rent let alone medications or food. I'm not allowed to work yet as I was in landscaping, and the govt only "assists" with 700$/month in BC. Because I'm on medical disability, I can earn a further 400$, but I'm "not allowed to work" so unless I can prove somehow I'm even worse than they know I am considering all the hospital reports, the 2500$ helicopter I took unconsciously and didn't know about but had to pay. I can't get on the regular disability every joe gets on for "social anxiety" or whatever bs, yet they're paid disability wage 1100$ Plus can work and earn 1000$ a month. So basically, I'm so braindead seizuring all the time that I can get not enough money to pay rent, and can't work (not allowed to work) more than 400$. Major debt. If I were accepted as regular disabled, I'd be given $1100/month and be able and allowed to work 1000$/month. Hiding the money and selling off my jewelry and anything nice I own is the only solution I've been able to find that works.

Sara replied on

Why are you not able to get disability. I’m a civilian. Three trucks crashed into my car. I took comp - but right mind to have lawyer and gave medicare rights away for rest of life medical. It was almost 6 years ago. I’m trapped inside my body. I am working on PhD and stalling because of - we all have our experience. Go to SSI and set an appointment. You don’t need to show bills. Your income is in system and what you have invested in. The medical records speak for you. I’m in the process now. I thought I could make it better. I now face realities.
I’m filing Chapt 7(can manage money?)
Nothing ever the same. Finding new me. Painful. But don’t keep memories.

I wish I could be more helpful. My case is under review. I thought you had to wait 5 yrs before you could apply. Stupid.

It’s hard. Learning to walk, speak, reflex, and living with dueling sides internally.

Keep hope. Keep talking out.

And thank you for sharing, pulling me out of my shell

Linda replied on

It seems to keep in contact with the friends I had before my Ruptured Brain Aneurysm. Our lives are very different now, at least mine is. I had to stop working, we have less in common now. Having to deal with daily medical issues makes it hard to get out there and make new friends. It's about starting a different life, when many times I think to myself, I just want my old one back.

TWS replied on

I’ve had the same issue with maintaining relationships. I don’t always reach out to family or friends. It’s been 20 years since my severe TBI and I make less and less friends as time goes on, although I have lots of acquaintances. Am becoming more of a loner and I’m fine with that. Perhaps I don’t know how to make friends anymore.

Best wishes to you.

Anonymous replied on

So can you share any idea's on what strategies you are going to use to make yourself do a better job with this? My 24 year old daughter has a TBI from a car accident 8 years ago and I'm trying to get her to be the one to make those calls. I've been doing it for her and setting up get-togethers so she can maintain old and new friendships, but i need to transfer the responsibility to her. Any idea's on how?

Anonymous replied on

It is difficult! After my two TBIs I struggle with Adynamia, which means I can think clearly as to what I NEED to do, but have a very difficult time implementing it. But I keep a positive attitude and cherish those who understand my symptoms. Thank you for this video.

Anonymous replied on

I have tbi and I rely heavily on my calandar on my smart phone. I have alarms set for when I need to take my medicine, I have any events, my kids needing to stay after school etc. My kids and husband know I live by it. If it is not on my calendar, I dont know about it. That being said, I am not very good at keeping up with friends. I have Facebook so I know what is going on in their lives, but making phone calls is really difficult for me.

Richard Rust replied on

Nice that you are explaining