Unthinkable - Tips: The Rehabilitation Hospital Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie, Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing Page 2 of 2

• You may begin to realize that there might be long-term effects from the injury and begin to feel intense fear and anxiety.
• You may face the loss of what might have been.

Returning to Work

Make a realistic plan with your employer as to when to come back to work, possibly working part-time or from the hospital or home. For some, returning to work is a welcome change. It can create a break from what has been an ever-present grief. The office may be the only part of life that seems normal and routine. But for many who have experienced a recent loss or a traumatic experience, returning to work can be difficult. You may be dreading the thought of returning to work for several reasons:

• Not being at the hospital to help your injured child, or at home to help your spouse/partner and other children.
• Seeing coworkers for the first time exposes you to “I’m so sorry” comments, which continually reminds you of your situation. A gentle “thank you” is all the response that is necessary. You do not need to give any more information you do not wish to share.
• You may have a high-pressure job with many deadlines and little room for mistakes. You have probably noticed that it is difficult to concentrate and retain information in your grief. You may be easily distracted, and errors can occur. It is useful to check everything twice, or to ask a coworker or supervisor to review what you have done. If you choose, share with your coworkers or supervisors how difficult things seem at this time and when you need their help or space.
• You may worry about breaking down in front of colleagues or in the middle of an important meeting. This can happen, but save yourself embarrassment by briefly letting people know what has occurred in your life. If you need to excuse yourself, do so. Take as much time off as allowed and then some to regain control and some sort of stability…take small steps…it is “one day at a time.”

There is No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve

• Grief often comes in waves.
• Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
• Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
• Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and I in turn will ______.”
• Depression: “I am too sad to do anything, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.”
• Acceptance: “I am at peace with what has happened and is going to happen.”

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From Unthinkable by Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie. Copyright © 2009 by Dixie Fremont-Smith Coskie. Reprinted with permission of Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing. www.wymacpublishing.com. For more information about the author, go to dixiecoskie.com.

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