Page Utilities
Kara Swanson, Brain Injury Blog, August 17, 2009 (page 2 of 2) Page 2 of 2
I don’t fear losing anything in this recession because they already came and cleared out the cupboard 13 years ago. I don’t fear losing everything because I’ve long ago filled those cupboards with the things I found that were actually important to me in this life and actually irreplaceable. And they weren’t anything I could order out of catalogs.
But what I do fear is losing the people I love because of the stress they are experiencing during this awful time in their lives.
Stress kills. Make no mistake about it. I’ve read that stress affects a body more than aging, obesity and smoking. Think about that. Although it’s easier said than done, worrying really doesn’t help anything. Worrying is simply asking for things we don’t want.
You’d be amazed at how much satisfaction, happiness, reward and love you can experience and enjoy while living in your parents’ basement with an awful hairdo and eating plain rice twice a day. You’d be amazed at how far you can go with a 12 year old car and three dollars in your purse. It would blow you away how inexpensive it is to decide that different isn’t always worse and that making lifelong dreams come to life is extraordinarily cool at any stage and at any age.
I once had a fancy office next to an indoor waterfall, an assistant, expensive suits and fresh flowers on my nightstand every payday. Now I’m an author and a public speaker. I’m watching curled up Basset balls and calling high school football games and enjoying the time of my life.
The recession cannot take the only thing that really matters. Not unless we allow it to. It cannot take those people and pets we love from us unless we allow the stress to chip away at our mental and physical health, leaving us…
Dead.
Just for the fact that it’s almost 4 in the morning and I’m enjoying cognitive martinis after watching four Basset Hounds all weekend….Let’s pretend….
Say we all died today. All of us. Gone. We all get to the other side of the lawn, waking from our dirt nap, and we find out that THOUGHTS REALLY ARE THINGS!!!
That all we needed in our lives was to imagine, to voice, to believe, to determine, to strive, to dream….That all we had to do was to stop walking around saying we are fat cows or that we have huge butts. That we simply needed to stop saying we would never get another job making X amount of money. That we only had to stop saying no one will hire me, no one will love me, no one will understand me, no one will see that I’m good enough, pretty enough, interesting enough, smart enough, capable enough or lovable enough…
What if we found out that all we needed to do was to become aware of how often we tell ourselves detrimental things that end up being drawn in and becoming self-fulfilling prophecies? That all we needed to do was to realize that we are capable of anything?
Wouldn’t we all be red faced then?
Change is shocking. You are humming along and feeling pretty good about yourself and tomorrow you lose your job. Or you acquire a brain injury. Or your spouse drops the divorce bomb. Or the doctor’s office calls and asks you to come in to hear your test results. Whatever. A thousand possibilities.
Your life gets turned upside down.
If you realize what you truly need and you can look around each night and count it, you’re going to be OK. If you’re fortunate enough to wake up tomorrow morning then you still have the chance to change and better what you don’t like about your life, regardless of how many arrows are coming your way.
We don’t have to waste time fearing the unknown because there’s already enough of the known to keep us busy. We don’t have to fear what’s going to happen in ten years because we don’t know if we even have ten days. A million things can happen to change every moment. And if we’re alive and if we’re reading this right now and understanding it, we’re already armed with enough ammunition to make it better. To make this life something we really want to live and enjoy, not simply to survive and endure.
Happiness can be found beyond our greatest fears. Dreams can be realized no matter the bank account or the stage in life.
Just ask the poster child of ruin.
From Kara Swanson's Brain Injury Blog. Used with permission. karaswanson.wordpress.com.
Comments [4]
Kara makes a lot of sense. In my understanding, it is easier to think this way when you are the injured, harder when you are the caregiver, spouse, or family member being dragged away from a life they once knew. My wife is currently working temp work at $8.50 per hour hoping for a 40 hour week. She just called saying her next assignment will be at $10.00 per hour, part to full time will long term potential. I used to net $40 per hour minimum so she did not have to work. I retired her to home making duties and her volunteer outreach opportunities over 29 years ago. Now, she comes home tired, often leaves for work with a poor nights sleep because of my sleep problems, and we are still drawing down what is left of our equity line of credit on our house. A 2% rise in the prime will tear our house out from under us. I could endure living in poverty, but she deserves more. Maybe we can out last this downturn, maybe not. It is not ours to know or even effect. Like Kara, I should have been receiving benefits from my employer, but they used my disabilities to my disadvantage in my Work Comp case. 80% loss is about right for us, too. The remaining 20% is a declining balance. A Work Comp disability paycheck would have made all of the difference. We could have scaled back and treaded water for years, even the rest of our lives. We don't want or expect a wind-fall, just what the Work Comp system is supposed to provide. Anybody want to pay this disable man to explain the struggles of a brain injury and how to go on living? We have much so we don't need much. As Kara says, what we have of value are ideas and understandings.
Thank you so very much...I'm sure you're not surprised to hear that it was brilliant timing for me to read this...I really needed it this week!
AMEN!
See All TBI Topics
When I was first injured I too FEARED the worst, then as time went on, I realized some of the fear was just that, fear, not reality for me. I am fortunate that I did not have to work I realized for a long time God was telling me to slow down, I wasn't listening, I thought at first he didn't have to knock me in the head for me to listen, but I guess he did. Lord I am listening now, I am doing your work and I am slowing down and taking care of my family. I am fortunate and I pray for those who are not as fortunate as I am, and I am trying to help those who not as fortunate as I... thank you and thank you Lord!
Nov 28th, 2009 4:27pm