Anger: Managing Intense Emotions Taryn M. Stejskal and Jeff Kreutzer, The National Resource Center for Traumatic Brain Injury, Virginia Commonwealth Model Systems of Care Page 2 of 2

• Make plans in advance to handle situations that cause anger. There may be a few circumstances that you know are going to upset you. Perhaps these circumstances are traffic, coming home to a messy house, and or trying to get your child ready for bedtime. Plan to use strategies to manage your anger in these situations ahead of time.
• Try to keep an open mind. Oftentimes, people get angry when they think they know what another person is saying, but they are not listening closely. Try to remind yourself that your family and friends are trying to help in the best way they know how. In order to reduce misunderstandings, try to repeat what you heard the other person say, “So what you are telling me is that you do not think it is a good idea for me to stay at home alone.”
• Explain yourself calmly. Many people get angry when they feel misunderstood. Truly, it can be tiring to continue to explain your situation to others. Try to be positive and sensitive to other people’s feelings. Doing so will make it easier for others to understand you.
• Develop new or continue to use constructive ways to deal with anger. Many people say they feel better when they go for a run, play a video game, write in a journal, take a walk, or talk with a friend. Having constructive strategies at your fingertips will help you blow off some steam when you begin to feel irritated.
• Give yourself credit when you do control your anger. Instead of beating up on yourself, praise yourself when you do keep your emotions under control. Also, ask yourself, what was different about situations in which you are able to control your anger. Recognizing the circumstances or the actions you took not to get angry can be a powerful tool in learning to control your anger better.

Are you stuck being angry? You need not be. Please remember, people who are angry for a long time often have trouble seeing the positive and expressing positive feelings. If you feel uncomfortable about your anger, talk with trusted family, friends, or professionals about your feelings. Also, consider joining a support group, so you can learn how others have dealt successfully with difficult feelings.

From the National Resource Center for Traumatic Brain Injury, Virginia Commonwealth Model Systems of Care. Reprinted with permission. www.neuro.pmr.vcu.edu.

Taryn Stejskal, PhD, Taryn Marie Stejskal, PhD, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) in the state of Indiana and the founder and president of Wellness Strategies, P.C.; a private practice specifically developed to meet the unique needs of individuals, couples, and families after one person has sustained a neurological injury (e.g., Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), Spinal Cord Injury (SCI), etc.). Dr. Stejskal received both her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) and her doctoral degree in Family Science, with a focus on health and relationships, with honors, from the University of Maryland, College Park (UMCP). She was awarded an Advanced Rehabilitation Research Training (ARRT) fellowship, funded by the National Institute of Disability and Rehabilitation Research (NIDRR) to complete intensive pre- and postdoctoral fellowships in neuropsychology at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) in Richmond, VA. As an ARRT fellow, Dr. Stejskal implemented and empirically validated the Brain Injury Family Intervention (BIFI), a program designed to promote emotional and relational healing for brain injury survivors and their spouses and family members. Specifically, her clinical interests rest in family and couple relationships after injury and illness, and in applying a systems perspective to recovery from injury, trauma, grief, and loss.  As a researcher, Dr. Stejskal is interested in family and couple relationships, specifically the qualitative and quantitative aspects related to the satisfaction and adjustment of couples after one person has sustained a brain injury. She also works as a consultant to hospitals and care facilities to enhance patient and family experience, satisfaction, and relationships with their healthcare providers. She has written numerous peer-reviewed manuscripts, book chapters, and newsletter articles about the impact of brain injury on couple and family relationships. Dr. Stejskal is in private practice in Indianapolis, a research consultant for Purdue University’s Military Family Research Institute (MFRI), an affiliate faculty member at Indiana University, co-chair of the Brain Injury Association of Indiana’s (BIAI) Education Committee, and is a frequent presenter at regional, national, and international conferences.

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