Expanding Your Social Network Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago-Brain Injury Team, Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, LIFE CENTER Page 2 of 2

• You can meet people at the hospital, park, support group or even the waiting room of you Dr's office. Make eye contact with others and don't be afraid to strike up a conversation. You never know whom you will meet.
• If you are homebound, utilize the telephone or computer. Get out from behind the TV!
• The ideal way to meet others is in the living of our own lives as we enjoy our hobbies and passions. This helps us connect to others with similar values while being meaningful in itself. Take some time and some soul searching to find out what they are.

• If you are interested in sports, joining a team can be a great way to meet others. Locating an interest group such as a book club, wheelchair dance, meditation group, religious activities, choirs or outdoor activities such as hiking and/or gardening. The options are endless. If you have an interest in helping others, then you may consider volunteering. There are environmental groups, political causes and mentoring programs to name a few.

The art of conversation.

• Sometimes it's hard to know what to say. It's a good idea to offer information but also ask questions.
• The most important thing is to be a good listener. You can find out a lot of information about someone by just listening. If small talk is difficult for you, the information that you get from listening can help you with your questions. For instance, if someone says that they just moved here from the East Coast, there are several opportunities for getting to know the person from that information. Try to ask open-ended questions such as, "What brought you here to Chicago?" Then that gives the person the opportunity to answer the question in a way that they feel comfortable and thus they may disclose further information that can help you learn more about them. It can also help them get to know you. Maybe you have family out East. You never know, it is a small world.

The best way to make and keep a friend is to be a friend.

Once a connection has been established, it must be maintained and cultivated which takes intention, attention, courage, creativity, and love. These things all take work but the rewards are rich, and friends can make the intolerable tolerable.

Copyright 2008 Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, LIFE Center, reprinted with permission.

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