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Is Brain Injury to Blame?

April 24, 2017

Is Brain Injury to Blame?

As caregivers, we have to tread very delicately in interpreting our loved one’s behavior. When our default assumption is to blame brain injury, we run the risk of creating self-doubt in the survivor.

 
Back at Work

March 27, 2017

Back at Work

I never wish to glamorize the process of returning to work, nor unfairly claim credit for it. TC was at the helm for most of this journey. With that said, there are a few pieces of wisdom I’ve gathered from the experience...

 
We Can Do Hard Things

February 27, 2017

We Can Do Hard Things

Brain injury has been a type of boot camp for our family, a crash course in thickening our skins and tackling struggle head-on. And although none of us signed up for it willingly, I think we can all agree it’s been strenuous and valuable preparation for whatever challenges lie ahead.

 
Compassion with a Catch

January 23, 2017

Compassion with a Catch

Immediately following a brain injury, outsiders often reiterate to survivors how grateful they are for that person’s survival and how accepting they plan to b. But when put to the test in everyday life, we quickly discover it’s tough to respond with unwavering compassion.

 
This Is Your Story

December 26, 2016

This Is Your Story

Whether you choose to share your brain injury story publicly or document it privately for yourself, it can be surprisingly therapeutic to seize the narrative of your life. If I had kept my struggle inside, hidden from the world, I don’t know how I ever would have healed and moved on.

 
Switching Roles

November 28, 2016

Switching Roles

We often hear how differently survivors emerge from their experience, but one of the most unexpected outcomes in our post-TBI life is how vastly I have changed too. Why is it that caregivers, like survivors, also feel like new people?

 
Drawing the Line

October 24, 2016

Drawing the Line

When to stay? When to go? When to get professional help? These are some of the hardest questions we will face in our post-TBI lives. These are gut-wrenching decisions to make. I know that not only from my own experience, but from the network of caregivers I communicate with everyday.

 
No Such Thing as Fair

September 26, 2016

No Such Thing as Fair

In the world of brain injury, the closest we will ever get to fairness is achieving balance. Some days you get what you need and other days you don’t.

 
A Delicate Pendulum

June 27, 2016

A Delicate Pendulum

As TC and I prepare for the upcoming birth of our second child, my head is filled with all the anticipation and questions you’d expect from any new parent. But it’s also filled with the unique worries that can only accompany the experience of expanding your family in the aftermath of brain injury.

 
What We Carry Forward

May 23, 2016

What We Carry Forward

When I think about the role post-traumatic stress has played in our post-TBI lives, it hasn’t been present in the way many might assume. As awful and shocking as the assault was, we know that it is illogical to blame a neighborhood or even a city...

 
On the Road Again

April 25, 2016

On the Road Again

Becoming a parent and a caregiver at nearly the same time has taught me much about learning to hold on and let go in life. In some ways, the demands of these two roles are not so different. In other subtle ways, they are quite distinct.

 
Shout-out to All the Superheroes

March 28, 2016

Shout-out to All the Superheroes

Since his injury, my husband and I have come to agree on one point: we will never fully understand each other’s struggle in this mess. And while we can never hope to fully appreciate the depth or complexity of each other’s experiences, we do our best to stay constantly respectful of the hard work that keeps us going.

 
Land of Lost Dreams

February 22, 2016

Land of Lost Dreams

Grief is a complicated process, particularly in the case of TBI when it takes the form of ambiguous grief. Quite obviously there hasn’t been a real death, yet we find ourselves cloaked in a profound sense of loss, one that is enormously difficult to articulate to others.

 
Empowerment in the New Year

January 25, 2016

Empowerment in the New Year

January is among my favorite months because it’s an annual restart button for our lives - a chance to forgive ourselves for our imperfections in the past year and an opportunity to decide who we want to be and how we want to live in the year ahead.

 
Let It Be

December 28, 2015

Let It Be

During a season that often seems to uncover and amplify old wounds, it is especially important to remember that brain injury has left us each with our own post-traumatic scars. Caregivers struggle to understand survivors. Survivors struggle to understand caregivers. The best we can do is to allow ourselves an extra breath to ask, “What’s really important at this moment?

 

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